The clips we've seen in the past from Suda51's No More Heroes have all been tiny snippets rife with hip surreality and stylized everything, but they haven't really shown us much of the game. The denizens of the 'net are happy to get excited over anything, so lack of meaningful content up until now hasn't mattered much. Thankfully though, with the above clip we finally get a bit of what catchphrase-spouting undergrads all over the country would call "a bit of the old ultra-violence."

Normally it takes more than just arterial spray to get my knickers inflamed, but when you combine more blood than Sissy Spacek left on the floor of that shower in 1976 with Suda51's charming wrestling-meets-The-Matrix-meets-the-GHB-crowd style you get gameplay footage that looks simultaneously thrilling, visceral and sorta icky.

I'd be giddy as a drunk schoolgirl if the gameplay was as entertaining as the above clip, but short of adding a dongle to the Wiimote that microwaves a plate of nachos will giving you a hummer, I'm left thinking it can't possibly enthrall a player to that degree.

Hit the jump for footage of the title's intro. 

"When you stare into the abyss the abyss stares back at you." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
 
I want you all to watch that clip up there. Yes, all 8+ minutes of it.
 
Done? Ok, that clip was the work of a man named Ulillillia (nom de reality: unknown). Thanks to the kind people at Portal of Evil I was exposed to his work earlier this week and between this clip, the others like it and his website, I'm utterly fascinated by this misanthrope. He seems to care so much about games like Bubsy: 3D that his narration and thoughts on the subject go beyond being tedious and dull, to being savant-level ruminations on the nature of the game, and by proxy, on life itself.
 
Oh, but the rabbit hole only goes deeper! This is where I'd quote his website, but the information packed into the thing is far too dense to be taken in bits. It's like it's all been written specifically so that you're forced to read as much of it as possible, and by reading more of it, you achieve a feeling of zen-like comfort and a sense that Ulillillia has gone beyond normal fascination or obsession and stepped into whatever term is used to describe a person who has played Bubsy: 3D for 4500 hours. Add to that the notion that he annotates absolutely everything in the sort of detail usually reserved for Department of Defense IT contracts, and that he actively lives a role-playing game and you come to realize you're glimpsing a world straddling the boundary of genius and lunacy and teetering like mad.

Porno is cool and all, but this is why the Internet was created.

Maybe it's the glee over playing in the snow all day like some kind of oversized, clumsy 6-year-old, maybe it's the cranberry and vodka cocktails I've been drinking, or maybe it's the fact that without overweight industry folk getting canned I have absolutely nothing to talk about,  but that clip up there made me giggle. Particularly the angry business woman and the concept of a male dog princess that should turn into a person upon smooching (but actually won't). I'm not sure why this video is funny and 99% of everything else on the Internet isn't, but I've never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth, complain about its dental work and send it back to Amazon for a full refund that for some reason must come in the form of a gift card, and not the cash it was originally purchased with. 

Besides, it's Fillerween! A time for festive dance, spending time with people you don't really know and probably don't like, and searching desperately for any reason to avoid actually talking to your significant other. Happy Fillerween everyone! 

The Internet is too cynical.

Sure, that's as ironic as my saying the Internet relies too heavily on obtuse references to the key figures of the second World War, but any of you disagreeing with me will only further prove my point. So there!

Am I the only one who remembers a time when gaming instilled a child-like wonder in my generation? A time when we would discuss the events of crudely rendered, pixellated stories with the same gravitas Brian Williams uses when relaying news of roadside bombs in Mosul? Based on that clip up there -- Little Miss Gamer's review/nostalgia-trip for StarTropics -- I'm thinking I'm not alone in my fondness for the old days.

Not only does the video assign the same kind of reverence to the game that early issues of Nintendo Power -- from the era in which it was still readable -- were so famous for, it does so in a completely unironic fashion. The sense of glee in discovering the game's various nooks and bits of fan service is palpable and LMG never relies on terrible humor or hyper-cynical apathy to appeal to the modern gamer; a group as defined by their desperate insistence of vitality and cultural relevance as they are by the fact that they play video games (and have terrible skin). Instead, the video almost enshrines the forgotten classic and in doing so actually manages to provide positivity that is lacking from everything else you'll read/watch/listen to regarding gaming today.

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows, everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together!

Thanks to Gametrailers user andyelmo, we bring you the above: the arcade trailer for Namco's Tekken 6. Normally this is the point at which I'd gush about how excited I am to get another Tekken, but wow, that trailer was just SO underwhelming. Like, if I had half a bucket of whelm before watching that thing, I now have mere droplets of whelm and wolves are approaching quickly from the nearby woods intent on eating me and my bucket of abstract concepts.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would advise you to all to duck as there will almost certainly be a large amount of splatter coming from every fan near you as a result of the news I have to share.

Primotech has a story up claiming insider information regarding the firing of Gamespot reviewer Jeff Gerstmann. Mr. Gerstmann recently awarded Eidos' Kane & Lynch: Dead Men a 6.0 score while Eidos was pumping a large amount of advertising cash into Gamespot, and shockingly this pissed off some of the higher-ups. In a much less sarcastic instance of the word "shocking" instead of merely admonishing him -- which would have been unethical in its own right -- the powers that be fired Mr. Gerstmann (and may have slapped his wife). Here's a quote from Primotech:

According to a fellow Gamespot contributor and close friend of Gerstmann who wished to remain anonymous, the editor was fired Wednesday morning because of his negative review of the game, which he awarded a 6.0.

While there is no official confirmation on this issue, it's unlikely that Gamespot is going to publicly admit they canned a reviewer for honesty based on advertiser pressure. Though, if they do I'd be willing to bet that they themselves would be sacked moments later. That move, of course, will go without any public comment for fear of further commentary causing even more sacking, and the endless cycle of Pythonian sacking jokes that would inevitably ensue.

(Side Note: This upcoming Penny Arcade comic is either strikingly prescient or strikingly something else smart-sounding that means whatever I'm trying to say. -- Nex) 

[UPDATE: Don't trust me or Primotech? How about Penny Arcade's Gabriel Whateverhislastnameis? Comment #18, if you're inclined. Props to power-glove for pointing this thread out. -- Neximo]

[UPDATE DEUX: Thanks to tehuberone, here's a link to the Youtube of the now-removed video review Mr. Gerstmann created for Kane & Lynch. -- Tyrannosaurus Nex] 

[UPDATE TROIS: Thanks to topgeargorilla and Vegas, there's also word that Gamespot editor Tim Tracy is leaving the site as well. Is it related? Will Greg Oden help the Blazer's playoff hopes? Who shot J.R.? More news as it becomes available. -- Oedipus Nex] 

Now please start a firestorm of public outcry in the comments or Niero might fire me to appease whoever the hell it is that funds this place. 

[Publisher's Note: Nex, you're promoted!  I hereby crown you as our new senior editor of news about Gamespot, but only on the condition that you say nice things.  On a serious note, Jeff was at GS for ten years and has the reviewer's portfolio equivalent of War and Peace -- this is a pretty big deal. I cannot wait to see the tapdance their PR people are brewing up tonight.  In the meantime, check out Destructoid's Kane and Lynch review -- proudly unfiltered.

Ron also informed me that he's supposed to represent them at the Spike TV awards... so next week should be interesting. Nex, Destructoid is funded on my hopes, dreams, and tall deck of credit cards so nobody is going to get fired here for speaking their mind. Linde does reserve the right to stab you, though. -Niero]

[FURTHER UPDATERY: It seems like more info comes to light by the minute and according to a piece by Wired's Susan "Voice of Reason" Arendt things may not be as the Internet assumes. Here's a quote from a Gamespot insider:

The ads went up and the Eidos brouhaha was settled over two weeks ago. Jeff got fired yesterday. Furthermore, I'd heard a few people tell that he'd already been skating on thin ice for "unprofessional reviews and review practices." I don't know much about that, though, so I can't say one way or the other. My gut tells me that he got canned for larger reasons.

I suppose we won't really know what happened until Mr. Gerstmann himself settles the rumors, but at this point the cat is out of the bag, running around the living room and clawing the hell out of Eidos' leg, regardless of whether the cat is an invention of conspiracy theorists or not. -- Reality Nex]

(Photo courtesy of The Lonestranger Network) 

Sony has a long, storied history with TV ads for this generation of gaming hardware. From the creepy to the annoying to the obviously-aimed-at-slow-children, they've been running the gamut of misfires in trying to promote their consoles.

Recently they dropped three new spots that are easily their best yet. The first (see above) is both simple and direct and as a bonus it doesn't stray toward unnecessary symbolism either. Its blend of Brechtian pantomime with post-modern technolust is exactly the sort of thing the PlayStation 3's demographic gets wood over.

Even more impressive is how unintrusive the spot manages to be to those it isn't marketed to. Remember that evil baby ad? It actually managed to kill old people. This one will merely make them want to wear a poofy shirts, at most.

Hit the jump for two more ads.

Normally I'd be the first to point out the flaws in any scientific study purporting a real link between violent media and real-world violence, but this report on Yahoo News -- assuming it's accurate -- doesn't seem to have any flaws. According to the article a study was recently conducted by L. Rowell Huesmann and Dr. Brad Bushman of the University of Michigan that found violence in films and games was more detrimental to society than every factor with the exception of smoking.

To quote the experts:

"Exposure to violent electronic media has a larger effect than all but one other well known threat to public health. The only effect slightly larger than the effect of media violence on aggression is that of cigarette smoking on lung cancer ..."

Huesmann said children spend an average of three hours watching television each day and more than 60 percent of TV programs contain some violence, including 40 percent showing extreme violence.

"Children are also spending an increasingly large amount of time playing video games, most of which contain violence. Video game units are now present in 83 percent of homes with children," he added.

Their findings have been reported in the Journal of Adolescent Medicine.

After reading the piece at Yahoo I did some digging into the backgrounds of the two gentleman in question and I have to say the two of them seem as unbiased as anyone in the field. They're both well respected, both hold positions of great merit at a reputable institute of learning and neither have any public evidence of prior inclination toward coaxing data to suit their needs.

As much as we all argue the violence-in-gaming point when presented by pundits and detractors of the industry, there just isn't anything to argue against here, unless they managed to completely disregard classic scientific method. I applaud Mr. Huesmann and Dr. Bushman for their work here, and humbly bow to their detailed findings.

[UPDATE: Jim makes a good, if uninformed, point. For those who would like to see the bits where it draws correlation, you'll have to sort through the entire study as I did before writing this. For those without the attention span or access, here's the abstract so you can at least get a feel for the concepts behind the study. Doubt me if you'd like, but at least do the research yourself before you claim foul play. -- Nex] 

Sleater-Kinney is sort of an institution in my part of the world. See, they began in this tiny Northwest microculture and since then have gone on to the sort of bizarre limbo of indie groups where they're simultaneously unknown and widely beloved. Like The Decemberists, The Exploding Hearts or everything Courtney Taylor-Taylor has ever done, this region exists perennially on the sharp bit of the cutting edge by knowing the hip unknown first and best and fighting fiercely to keep things permanently that way. That's why when I see something like Sleater-Kinney bassist down-tuned guitarist Carrie Brownstein reviewing Rock Band for Slate, I'm immediately giddy (and vaguely wary that she's encroaching on my damn territory).

Putting aside the e-mail I have to write in a few moments threatening her pets and family if she continues writing about video games, her review is phenomenal. Sure, Nick's cool and all but what was he up to when I was 15? I can almost guarantee he wasn't melting faces in one of the pre-eminent female rock groups of the least quarter-century. In fact -- and I may be wrong here -- I don't think Nick has ever been a woman, let alone a successful female musician whose name you could drop to impress cute indie girls with thick glasses in the alley outside of the now-defunct Satyricon.

In short, go read that review. Also, while you're there, try not to sound as idiotic as the people in the comments in case you decide to open your virtual gob. We'll take your damn scarf back if you do.

[Sending a box of scarves to Analog Pidgin for the tip] 

There's nothing I like more than kinky sex in dangeous situations, like fellatio in a lion's cage or bondage play with jars of scorpions and firecrackers.

Since that has nothing to do with this story though, let's assume I said "there's nothing I like more than two websites bitching at each other over trivial matters," which is exactly what's going on between cash-laden corporate games site IGN and publicly beloved web comic Penny Arcade.

This story gets a bit long and stupid, so please hit the jump unless you have something better to do like masturbating or breathing in.

That clip up there is the just-released, brand-new, other-adjective-indicating-freshness reveal for the final boxart for Grand Theft Auto IV, the latest in Rockstar's series of controversial simulations based on the obvious logical progression of Tupac Shakur's stomach tattoo.

As much as the art looks real purty, after the striking multiculturalism and deep moral relevance of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas going back to a game about honkies is just counterproductive. Sure, it's dope that they're from Russia instead of Minnesota but you can't say you can tell these crackers apart. Hell, I was waiting in line at the post office yesterday and this white kid -- almost definitely a drug addict, dealer or rapist -- comes up and asks me for the time! After shouting "get a job white bread," I threatened to drag him behind my pickup truck for a few blocks to teach him a lesson about being uppity!

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate white people, I'm just sick of what they're doing to our inner cities and the way they're influencing our children with their ignorant "adult contemporary" music. I say we lock them all in jail, and if we don't have room in jail, we should invent bigger jails. They're all just going to end up there anyway! 

Those of you not living in the tremendous shadow of Harry Knowles may not be aware of this, but the Writers Guild of America -- the union containing almost every film and television writer in Hollywood -- is on strike. Since it appears the studio execs are comfortable running reality TV and living off of their wealth during the strike, and the public outcry has been basically non-existent, the writers have been looking for new ways to supplement their now missing income, and gaming is apparently being seen as a viable alternative. GI.biz has a quote:

According to a report in Variety, work in videogames is something that the WGA is keen to embrace at some point, but as it hasn't yet its members are free to work on them during the strike.

Their piece goes on to say that a move to game writing would be a monetary hit for most WGA members, but when the decision eventually becomes one of "monetary hit vs eating your children for sustenance," we assume we'll be seeing more Hollywood-types being hired on at EA and Activision.

Then again, if you've seen a movie, television show or the city of Los Angeles any time recently you'll be as terrified of this prospect as I am. Gaming has made incredible strides recently with titles like Portal, and giving the reins of a virtual world to the guy who wrote that episode of Heroes where Hiro travelled back in time to fight a body inhabited by Dr. Sam Beckett in front of the 1919 Chicago Black Sox would be almost as stupid as his "creative output."

The original Deus Ex is right at the top of my list of all-time favorite games. It occupies a spot sandwiched between Fallout 2 and the Age of Empires series, so saying I'm a fan of Warren Spector's baby is an understatement on par with saying you're currently thinking about opening a new tab to look at pornography.

After hearing about it this morning from Gamasutra's Leigh Alexander -- the Brian Williams to J. Chobot's Oprah -- my brain was filled with horrific visions of what an abortion Deus Ex 3 would inevitably be. Thanks to this trailer, and its suspended fetus, I'm beginning to think "abortion" is the most appropriate shard of pre-release hype I can apply to this thing.

Deus Ex 3: Because it's illegal for us to offer blowjobs for cash.