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irony.jpg Are you sitting down? I'll wait ... OK. Look what this fool from EA had to say about Gears of War. Keep in mind, we're talking about EA, Electronic Arts:
Alain Tascan, general manager for EA Montreal, has revealed that he thinks Xbox 360 title Gears of War has been overrated by reviewers ... Tascan said, "What is Gears of War? I mean Gears of War brings nothing in terms of innovation to the shooter... Like, zero. Only two very brave UK-based journalists said, 'You know what, Gears of War is a great game but it's like what Quake was a few years ago.'" "Why are people loving it so much? It's like added production value, incredible cutscenes and the best ever graphics ever. I'm sure it's going to be a great success, I can't wait to play it, but let's face that graphics are still number one," Tascan continued. He then used the comparison of a nice looking girl you might see in a bar and go up and talk to, "And if she's smart enough, that's the gameplay. "I'm not talking about my tastes, I'm just saying, when you go to metacritic and you see a 96 for Gears of War, then you read the critics saying, 'Okay, storyline - there's none, gameplay is not innovative...' Then I say, why did they give this 96? They were blown away by the high quality of the graphics... Myself, I prefer something more creative," Tascan concluded.
It seems as if EA is trying to pull a Sony by upping them on levels unheard of in the world of jackassery. Is this guy f'ing serious? Did you ever think you'd live to see the day when a person from EA bashed another game for not being innovative? Hey EA, the irony police called, they want their statements back. [Via Kotaku]

  11 comments   latest by Uberbohne:
"GoW has the same typical storyline that most shooters have. You are a good guy, you shoot the bad guys, and you win. The last time I checked that's all I was looking for when I picked up a game a..."...
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Holy mother of God do I miss the olden days of CounterSrike, and it's moments like these that leave a tear of joy in my eye. You may find this hard to believe, but back in my college days all I really did 24/7 was play CounterStrike. I'd go to class, eat, maybe write a paper or two, then jump on and pwn noobs or pull off dick moves like the one you see in the video. Ah, good times.

  3 comments   latest by rebelcan:
"What gets me is the fact that the poor SOB was nearly crying because he couldn't get to his camping spot. He deserved every second."...
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dead-flies.jpg After news earlier today that NBA Live 07 was getting buried on the PlayStation 3, it has now been revealed that Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion won't come out for PS3 gamers until early next year. Originally planned as a launch-window game, this Xbox 360 and PC best-seller will now have to wait for PS3 owners. Ouch.
One of the launch-window games for PS3, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, has seen a slight setback. A contender for Xbox 360 and PC Game of the Year, the expansive RPG is now expected in the first quarter of 2007.

  1 comments   latest by BluDesign:
"It's probably because Fallout 3 will kick so much ass when it launches on both platforms in 2008. OOPS! Said too much, back into the future I go! /paradox!"...
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faith1.JPG Our very own Faith isn't the only one pining for the Miss Video Game crown. No, there are plenty of other pleasant-smelling thong-wearing females cat fighting for the crown. In fact, all their profiles are now online and ready to be mocked and pleasured to -- all at the same time! I'll have to share with you some of my favorites so far:

view full story + comments


  1 comments   latest by BluDesign:
"Bravo! I wonder if Summa ever wrote these and when no one commented on them if he cried a little inside?"...
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hunters.jpg If there's one single flaw in Gears of War for the Xbox 360, it is that the multiplayer matchmaking scrapes the bottom of the evolutionary ladder. By not offering up ranked team play, it goes against the grain of successful multiplayer games we've come to know and covet. Mark Rein shines his bright light on the possibility of great change:
When we spoke with Epic Games' Cliffy B last week regarding ranked team play for Gears of War, he informed us players wouldn't be able to create a squad and hop from game-to-game as in Bungie's Halo 2 because "required by Microsoft to be this way." Don't start storming the gates just yet, though; the company's Vice President Mark Rein suggests they may offer additional functionality in the future -- he didn't provide any specifics, of course. While playing online with GamerAndy, Rein both confirmed Microsoft pushed them into designing multiplayer the way it is due to potential cheaters, but specified they might add new features to multiplayer in the future.
Make it happen Epic. We know you can do it, and we know you want to. Now give us what we want so we can continue loving you even harder than we are now.

  2 comments   latest by E85:
" "...
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jumper.jpg You know that shiny $600 PC/game console you just bought? Yeah, it's not really done yet. In fact, as soon as you bring that bad boy home you're gonna have to download a software update. What? You don't have online access? Well, then you've got bigger problems than a software update to worry about.
Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. will offer the first software update for its PlayStation 3 games console on Saturday simultaneously with the start of sales of the device. The firmware update will add support for the PlayStation Network online service and be offered as a free download. It will upgrade the software from version 1.0 to 1.1, SCEI said on Thursday. Users will be able to access the update from a menu item in the PlayStation 3. In late November the company also plans to offer a firmware update for its PlayStation Portable (PSP) games device. The update will bump the firmware to version 3.0 and add PlayStation Network support. With the new firmware in both devices the PSP will be able to access contents stored on the PlayStation 3 via a wireless LAN connection using a system Sony has dubbed "Remote Play." It will also make it possible to purchase and download PSP games content.
Poor poor Sony. It just seems like they can't catch a break with anything these days. And oh yeah, massive damage going on here.

  1 comments   latest by ferrhis:
"well ,you know, since the main feature of getting the firmware update is access to the playstation neatwork, you wouldnt really feel a need to get it if you dont have an internet connection to yo..."...
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PS3NBA.jpg EA loves money. In fact, they love money so much that they know not to release a title before they can cash in substantially with its release. Thus, the profit gods of Electronic Arts have deemed NBA Live 07 completely unfit for the PlayStation 3. If it ain't ringin' cash registers, then it ain't an EA game, know what I mean?
NBA Live 07 has been cancelled for the PS3 altogether. We repeat. NBA Live 07 has been cancelled for the PS3 altogether. Instead, you can expect it to come out next season as NBA Live 08. This was the official statement coming from EA representatives when asked by IGN about updates on the game. Says David Tinson, Public Relations Manager of EA Canada, "We are concentrating our efforts on creating a spectacular NBA Street: Homecourt [instead of porting NBA Live 07]."
Dolla dolla bills y'all!

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Blizz.jpg For those of you who've since put the world of Azeroth and such to bed, it's time to get those credit cards all warmed up because Blizzard announced today that their World of Warcraft expansion The Burning Crusade will finally drop on Jan. 16, 2007. But, if you live somewhere not in North America or Europe, you're just gonna have to wait it out a bit longer.
The January 16 release date is for North America and Europe, and will arrive “in a similar time frame in Korea, Australia, New Zealand, and Singapore.” Release dates for mainland China, Taiwan, Hong Kong and Macau will be announced at a later date.
Excited? You should be, 'cause you're about to kiss your life bye bye.

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That's right, I'm throwin' the mutha f*ckin' hammer down! I'm tired of looking at that dapper Kevin Pereira and Geoff Keighley walk around like they own the place. And 1UP guys, I'm talking to you too! Put down that donut Luke Smith and listen up. Wanna know how we think of you guys over here on the East Sayyiiiddee? Watch the vid, that's you. Yeah, that's you with your faux hawk and 80s wrist bands. You, with your Coffee Bean (yeah, I know what you got over there) and Skybar. You, with your super-cool bravado that you think is impenetrable. We on the East Coast know how to keep it real. We have to deal with things like snow and rain and horrible accents, while you get to lounge poolside at the Roosevelt and sip mojitos all day long with models and sunshine -- not that I'm jealous or anything, I'm just saying. So, what do you have to say to that, West Side fools?!?! We rock, you don't. We is real, you ain't. *throws up East Coast white boy gang signs* B.I.G. > 2 Pac biggie-smalls-bob-marley-videoklip.jpg

  1 comments   latest by hyphyjo0se:
"haha funny , but the way u described the west coast is not close to true, well maybe if ur rich. and we get snow and rain , but not as much as snow as you guys. and we get the most beaners and ..."...
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OK, I don't suck that bad, but I do have a few excuses as to why I particularly sucked in these Elite Beat Agents gameplay videos for the Nintendo DS. Number one, I got no sleep last night 'cause I had to get up early for this media breakfast at the Four Seasons (yeah, that's how I roll). Number two, because of how I had to position the camera to give you, my beloved reader, steady gameplay on the DS, my hands were prevented from being in the proper Elite Beat position. I assure you, after the video was done and I waited for it to upload on GoogleTube, I picked the game back up and pwned the section in which you see me fail. As for my impressions of the game itself: It friggin' rocks ... hard. If you own a DS, get this game.

  1 comments   latest by Brunofs:
"This comic style of EBA is really nice ! But I need a DS first :("...
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Howie_intro_final.jpg My hatred for gaming shows and unabashed hatred for all things Howie Mandel prevent me from watching Deal or No Deal on TV, but, the video game version has proven to be something entirely different. And it's not because I can skip all of Mandel's "witty" banter with a click of the mouse, but because you can customize your prizes. Which means, my dear friends, that you can have one hell of a time setting yourself up to end up in a pool of your own vomit or left itching and scratching with a new STD or two! I got to play the game -- which is already out for the PC -- today with some PR pixies and check out this licensing cash grab for myself. Ah, nothing like the smell of hurry-and-make-a-game-on-this-popular-TV-show-before-it-dies smell in the mid-day. Even though I'd love to tell you how much I hated the game and how completely worthless it was, I can't. It was actually kind of fun to play and the fact that, as I mentioned above, you can plug in your prizes is really where the game becomes something viable. Want to make a girl strip down and lick your toes? Well then set it up and get prepared to be cleansed. Want to make your broham chug a bottle of Jose Cuervo then lick the butt of a frog? Now you can, thanks to Deal or No Deal! Ah, the possibilities for sin and illegal activities are endless. I plan on using the prize: You can ride my pony honey! red_dress_final.jpg

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MTV.jpg In order to continue to seem mainstream and hip to today's youth market, MTV has announced their second go around with Gamer's Week, or as the hipster Internet dweebs call it, "2.0." OMG, you're so f*cking hip with your finger on the pulse, 2.0! Anyway, here are the sordid details of the goings on for all things video games related for the week of Nov. 13: • Video - On-demand versions of on-air Gamer's Week 2.0 programming from MTV, MTV News, MTV2, mtvU, Xfire and GameTrailers, plus bonus content. • Tune in - A guide to all gaming programming airing during Gamer's Week 2.0 • Online Specials – MTV specific online features, "PS3: Dissected," and "Wii: Dissected," gamer's gift guides, and Gamer's Week 2.0 special versions of regular games.mtv.com features "Peep Show," "The Dime," "Obsessed" and "Game Character Playlist." • Games - Video and info on all the Xbox 360, Wii and PS3 games for holidays and into '07. • News - All MTV News gaming stories, both text-based articles and video pieces, will all be available Full press release with details after the jump.

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p-diddy.jpg Guess who headlined the latest PlayStation 3 party in L.A. last night? That's right, it was Destructoid's favorite media mogul Diddy! Uh, can't stop, won't stop. Mr. Diddy and a gaggle of celebs partied it up in honor of Sony's next-gen console in what sounds like a coke-and-booze-a-palooza. Holy sweet Jesus, if only we were there to ski the slopes with the rest of the Hollywood elite. From my best gay friend, Perez Hilton:
We began the evening at the one-year anniversary party for our pals at TMZ and ended the night at the launch party for the new Play Station 3. And, we can honestly say, it was the best event we've ever been to in Los Angeles!! Seriously, Sony must have spent a couple million dollars on the party. At least. They even hired Diddy to perform!! And everyone showed up, including (as seen above) Paris & Nicole together, Mark and the MisShapes, Cory Kennedy and that fatso. Plus.....Lindsay Lohan, James Franco, Katharine McPhee, Donald Faison & Cacee Cobb, Nicky Hilton & David Katzenberg, Jason Ritter, Bill Maher, David Arquette, Christina Milian, Ian Ziering, A.J. McLean and Edward Furlong. The theme of the party was old school department store and Sony took over this abandoned Robinson's May and brought it back to life in full blown technicolor. They had these huge globes with fake snow you could play inside. They had candy stations and wig stations - where we got our new friend Jack's Mannequin. There were just so many small touches that made the party so rad. And we're not even much of a gamer. But we had a kick-ass time at the PS3 premire last night!!!
crackwhores.jpg

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contraboth.jpg I don't really understand why every retro XBLA title that comes out has to have some bug or crazy crash or some other malfunction that really shouldn't exist after you plunk down your Microsoft points to buy it. Contra is the latest casualty of war for XBLA users. Good thing I haven't wasted my 400 points on it (frankly I'd rather play Gears instead of some dated 2D side scrolling shooter, but that's just me). GameLife has the horror story:
So I'm playing Contra with Jared just now, and he's going, "What the hell are you doing? Stop jumping around at the bottom of the screen." "I'm shooting the alien tower!" "You're jumping around like an idiot. You died. You got a game over." "What? You died. You've had a game over for like five minutes now. I felt bad for going on." "..." "Take a picture of what you see on your screen, right now." Mine's on the left, his is on the right. We played another game and told each other what was happening on our screens. "Alright, you just died again." "I didn't die! I'm kicking ass! We're in the base right now and you just walked into the electricity." "We're not in the base, we're still fighting the boss." "You got a game over." "I have eight lives left." Apparently it's not just us. IGN agrees. I want my 400 Microsoft Points back.
There you go. Buyer beware.

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