Looks like Little Johnny Unlucky (aka me) won't be receiving his Wii for Christmas. I, like hundreds of others, ordered my Wii (bundled with Madden 07, an official SD card, and an extra remote and nunchuck) from Amazon.com on November 30. As some of you may imagine, I was immensely excited when I put the order through; Wiis were sold out, literally, all over America. I'll admit it, I did a fist pump. But, two weeks later, I'm still a very unhappy camper. Actually, that was put very lightly. I'm more of a borderline homicidal camper right now.

Why you ask? Hit the jump to find out!

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With all of the great games out there right now, for instance Gears of War, Twilight Princess, FFXII and the like, you might not be playing your PS3 that much during this holiday season (that is, unless you actually like that Resistance game). After all the money you spent on the PS3, you might as well get use out of it, right? There's not much that can be done with the PS3, itself -- it's bulky, it gets fingerprinted and scratched easily, and IS NOT good to use as a makeshift football. But there is a world of opportunities for the Sixaxis controller, or, I should say, SixSUXas controller. Here are some of the best alternate uses for the Sixaxis:

Boomerang:

 

The Sixaxis' ultra-sleek design would make it a ripper boomerang. I'm sure that you could toss this puppy a few hundred feet. If it doesn't come back, no big deal; you just had more fun in those three seconds than you would with  Mobile Suit Gundam. Just yarn to Crocodile Dundee, mate, I'm sure he knows all about it. 

Hit the jump for more!

(Edit: The pictures went down a couple of days ago, so I had to take the post down until they were fixed. Now they're back up and ready for action!)

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That's right, folks. Another one of Mr. Destructoid's long lost cousins was spotted today, this time on one of eBay's holiday commercials. Cousin "It" looks to have gained a few pounds and looks to sport a new paint job that would make Diddy proud. Upon receiving his gift, this metal-assed Blingbot refuses to share with little Billy Bob or even let the little snot touch his precious "it." We should all take a page from this green and gold cyborg and keep everything to ourselves this holiday season. Isn't that what gaming is all about? You here that, CTZ? No Christmas presents from me this year, my friend!

 

Ever wanted a gorgeous girl to play with your Wii? Yeah, me too. Sadly, I don't think it's in the cards for me. Luckily, I've recently uncovered a set of very bodacious babes swishing the Wiimote back and forth. These pics are loaded with innuendo. Sure, it's a little childish of me to post these, but BOOBIES!!!

Mmmboy, number 3 is my favorite! Hit the jump to check out these hot honeys twist, jerk and snap a bit more:

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Need a Wii for the holidays? Stood in line for a PS3 but couldn't get your paws on one? Still trying to find a good deal on a 360?  Nowinstock.net might have you covered. The site works by refreshing many of the different online store sites, for example Amazon.com, Buy.com, and Walmart.com, and displaying whether or not the item is in stock. According to the site:

We are a web service that monitors online shopping web sites to see when products come in stock. This way you never have to filter through hundreds of pages, subject yourself to tons of notification emails, and so on. NowInStock.net brings everything together in one tight little package.

Still sceptical? I, myself, sniped two Wii "Sports Bundles" from Amazon just a couple of days ago.  If you need to get that perfect Christmas present, or a great Hanukkah gift, definitely bookmark this site and check back often.

             

Waka waka waka waka! Remember that sound? That's the sound of good ole PacMan chomping down on those dots, power pellets and ghosts. If you've ever wanted even more of a PacMan experience, then check out this eBay Australia auction of a vintage PacMan phone. Made in the 1980's, this "PacPhone" sold on eBay for 119 Aussie bills (or $92 American), a small price to pay for Pac's eternal glorification on your nighttable next to your bed. Maybe it's time to dig out that old Nintendo memorabilia from years past and stick it on the net to make a few bucks for your new PS3 or Wii. (Big thanks to Aussie reader funkyj for the find!)

Whooo-weeee! Another Rayman Raving Rabbids gameplay video! This game is starting to look like a crack-whielding homeless man's best friend. Some of these minigames remind me of the kind of minigames that one would see in the Mario Party series, but in a Rayman game? I wanted to see Rayman shooting his special glowy balls at other limbless creatures in a 3D platformer! I'm not so sure the "assassinate the infidels" call of the rabbids is for me, but by all means go ahead, toke up and spray some coked up rabbids with orange soda.

In a blatant rip-off of Sheir's rather masculine article about how the PS3 sucks and will come in third, I will take a virtual sh*t on his pick for next-gen success, the Wii. Label me a Ninten-hater if you'd like (even though I've owned every Nintendo console since the SNES, including Virtual Boy), but I hate the Wii and it sucks. Why does my opinion matter? Because I'm better than Sheir who is better than you. Get ready for a major slap-to-the-face, fanboys, because your ass is grass and I'm a bovine.

A new video of the Xbox 360's Japan preorder seller-outer, Blue Dragon, has emerged, displaying a montage of different battle sequences that the main character undergoes. Sure, the character models look pretty good, but the environments are boring and lame; many times they're just a solid color. With the power of the 360, it seems like the environments should be better detailed and more interactive. In addition, the gameplay looks bland and tasteless; a bunch of the attacks that you see going on are faintly reminiscent of Quest 64 (Yes, THAT piece of crap). Unless it has a deep, developed storyline, you may want to end up skipping this one. What do our readers think of Blue Dragon thus far?

Brand spanking new screenshots of the Nintendo Wii version of Marvel: Ultimate Alliance have emerged. The graphics aren't nearly as impressive as Marvel's Xbox 360 counterpart. It seems like the controls would perhaps seem a little bit strange for this kind of game, but overall it appears to be shaping up into a nice 4-player action/RPG game. More screens after the jump.

Brand spanking new screenshots of the Nintendo Wii version of Marvel: Ultimate Alliance have emerged. The graphics aren't nearly as impressive as Marvel's Xbox 360 counterpart. It seems like the controls would perhaps seem a little bit strange for this kind of game, but overall it appears to be shaping up into a nice 4-player action/RPG game. More screens after the jump.

This past weekend, Fox ran a sketch making fun of the apparent "Madden NFL 200X" curse, which I'm sure most of you have heard about by now. Apparently, every NFL player featured on the cover of each subsequent Madden Football game has been injured after the game has come out, except for Eddie George. I found this guy's impression of John Madden to be pretty humorous; this actually might be funnier than Jimmy Johnson's head.

This past weekend, Fox ran a sketch making fun of the apparent "Madden NFL 200X" curse, which I'm sure most of you have heard about by now. Apparently, every NFL player featured on the cover of each subsequent Madden Football game has been injured after the game has come out, except for Eddie George. I found this guy's impression of John Madden to be pretty humorous; this actually might be funnier than Jimmy Johnson's head.

Mattel, that's right the creators of Barbie, Matchbox cars and Fisher Price toys, has recently begun marketing their new "gaming console," the Hyperscan. As you can see from the above picture, this abomination is colored red and black, most likely to appeal to hip third graders, and features a controller that looks like a mishmash of the DualShock, the Xbox Controller S, and what I left in the toilet last night after eating at my college's dining hall (yeah, yeah I know, a poop joke). It can even fold up! More analysis after the jump.