Yes, you read that correct. This week's Monday Masculinity Teaser is none other than the famous phantasmagorical stallion sidescroller game, Robot Unicorn Attack. It's already sold 2 million copies worldwide, won three Game of the Year awards even though we're only in February, been banned in Australia by the Cryptozoology Intelligence Agency, received its own Mountain Dew flavor, won American Idol thanks to Avril Lavigne, and has beaten Avatar for an Academy Award. None of this is reality of course, but sadly, neither are unicorns. As for unicorn robots, I don't know, but I'm sure MonsterQuest is filming another laughable episode about it soon.

Surprisingly the gameplay is great for a flash game. I know, I'm shocked, scared and a bit embarrassed, but solid game design is solid game design. You get three wishes (lives) to last as long as you can in the endless magical sidescroller land, with all three rounds added up for your final score. You can jump and double jump to create rainbows, with jumps floating farther the longer you hold down the jump key. Along the way you run into score boosting fairies you can collect to shoot magic out of your horn, as well as star block obstacles that you have to dash through to survive. As you do better and better you're blessed with dolphins that swim along with you on screen, and while you play you're graced with this Chad-mazing song you didn't know you loved until just now:

• Open your eyes, I see. Your eyes are open.
• Wear no disguise for me, come into the open.
• When it's cold (when it's cold), outside (outside), am I here in vain?
• Hold on, to the night, there will be no shame.
• CHORUS:  Always, I want to be with you, and make believe with you, and live in harmony harmony oh love!
• CHORUS
• Always.
• Melting the ice for me, jump into the ocean.
• Hold back the tide, I see. Your love in motion.
• When it's cold (when it's cold), outside (outside), am I here in vain?
• Hold on, to the night, there will be no shame.
• 2X CHORUS
• When it's cold (when it's cold), outside (outside), am I here in vain?
• Hold on, to the night, there will be no shame.
• 5x CHORUS

You can thank the blood, sweat, and tantric tears of Adult Swim for this fabulous fantasy game that you will be playing against your will all night. If there was ever a flash game deserving of a Web fad with the strength of Chocolate Rain, Numa Numa, All Your Base, and the other great memes of the Internet, then surely Unicorn Robot Attack is worthy. "Harmony! Harmony! Our Love!" "Yatah! Us! Us! Us! Us!" Share your high scores in the comments below, and please correct me if any of the legendary lyrics are incorrect! Now if you'll excuse me I think I need to take a shower now. But "there will be no shame."

Did you survive the last mind teaser with your brain intact? Good! Because it's time to put your head to good use again with this temporal puzzle game.

If you even remotely enjoyed Portal, then this is a flash game you definitely need to try. The slick metallic and plasma graphics are spot on, and the electrical gameplay is every bit as fulfilling as you'd hope by looking at the picture above. Toss in some really pleasing sound effects and you've got something that's hard to stop playing.

I was going to be completely okay if it was just a Portal clone, but it actually adds in an alternate dimension time reversing gameplay mechanic that fits in so well that you start to actually wonder if it will be a part of Portal 2. Then comes the gravity altering feature and I was convinced this game is worth sharing after playing only a few levels, which is rare for me to do with these mind teasers.

Right now I'm enjoying the wormhole gameplay action and wondering what it will throw at me next. The only complaint I can think of so far is that I hope it's much more challenging later on. You can play EON's game Epsilon here on Newgrounds, via Dissolute Productions.

Update: I just beat it and I have to say that's the coolest ending to any flash game I can remember playing. Awesome Portal-worthy ending, followed by some visuals I didn't know flash was capable of, followed by a kickass looping techno music beat. You all need to play this game. I'm definitely going to pilfer through all of his music now.

Last time we spent all week focusing on just the Final Fantasy series, and it was quite a lot to focus on. If you thought that was daunting though, just wait!

Final Fantasy debates are usually a touchy subject, but while the results may be upsetting to some, I have to say that everything went better than I expected from start to finish. The focus stayed on your opinions -- or on other opinions you agreed with -- instead of the typical disagreements we see so often with this series. And the insight! Wow, the insight was great, and it was a pleasure to read all the walls of text that so many of you felt so strongly about. Job well done! Here are the results:

• Final Fantasy VI (42 votes) -- Winner!!!
• Final Fantasy VII (26 votes) -- Silver Medal!!
• Final Fantasy IX (15 votes) -- Bronze Medal!
• Final Fantasy Tactics (13 votes)
• Final Fantasy VIII -- (9 votes)
• Final Fantasy X -- (7 votes)
• Final Fantasy IV -- (5 votes)
• Final Fantasy X-2 -- (4 votes)
• Final Fantasy V -- (3 votes)
• Final Fantasy XII -- (2 votes)
• Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII -- (2 votes)
• The Final Fantasy Legend -- (2 votes)

I had expected FFVI to grab the top with FFVII hot on its Chocobo heels, but FFVI really shined. What surprised me is that FFT didn't sneak into the third place spot, although FFIX definitely has a lot of love. I also thought FFX would rise above FFVIII, but the Dtoid Army has spoken!

Now that we've gotten the Final Fantasy series out of the way, it's time to crack your knuckles and get down to business. If you thought we'd conquer the topic of "Best RPG EVAR?!" in a single weak week, then you're sadly mistaken. Remember that insanely large multiple month Street Fighter character debate tournament we did last year that tons of you loved, while some patiently waited for it to pass onto other topics? Well I'm diving into another huge tournament, and it's up to you to decide the size, as well as the winner.

Even though the amount of top tier RPG games would make it easy to do so, I don't plan on making it excessively long. All you need to do this week is list all of the non-Final Fantasy game RPGs that you truly love. Not the okay or good ones. The great ones. The only rule: it cannot be an online RPG. It can be multiplayer, but not an MMO or any other online variant of the RPG genre. Basically, console or handheld only, unless you spot any exceptions.

I'll take all the suggestions into consideration, make some brackets that seem fair including the most loved Final Fantasy games, as well as the new suggestions, and try to make it not unreasonably long. This tournament is entirely in your hands. Take this week off as a chance to do some serious thinking on what you would choose as your absolute favorite RPG if forced to make that decision. Because that'll be soon!

The previous game debate let the readers pick their favorite game of 2009, and the results are in! With over a hundred votes cast for 40 different games, one game in particular rose way to the top. Before long it became a battle for second place, with one title barely beating out the others! Here is the Dtoid Army 2009 Game of the Year:

• Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (25 votes) -- Winner!!!
• Borderlands (12 votes) -- Silver Medal!!
• Batman: Arkham Asylum (11 votes) -- Bronze Medal!
• Dragon Age: Origins -- (10 votes)
• Demon's Souls -- (7 votes)
• Left 4 Dead 2 -- (5 votes)
• Street Fighter 4 -- (4 votes)

Now that 2009's over and done, let's get back to business. You didn't think I'd let the game series debates come to a close before giving the Final Fantasy series some spotlight, did you? Of course not! This week is all about that wonderful RPG series that Square Enix has kept alive for decades of delight. With Final Fantasy XIII's release only two months away, it's time to look back and discuss what game was the highlight of the entire series so far.

This week, instead of voting for just one game, please rank all the Final Fantasy games you've played from best to worst. You may not vote for Final Fantasy XIII, but you may vote for any of the Final Fantasy remakes or spinoff games as long as they have Final Fantasy in their title.

After you rank them all, feel free to tell us why you ordered them that way, and answer any of the bonus questions after the jump that you feel strongly about.

This week's Monday Mind Teasers game is a lot like the last one . . . except with zombies. Okay, so not really. Instead of a sidescroller where you constantly dodge different shaped obstacles, you're challenged to outrun a never ending swarm of zombies. Instead of upgrades and boost features, you've got a whole arsenal of weapons to unlock, and there's still obstacles to dodge and items to collect along the way. Basically a well done 2D L4D knockoff. Barrels go boom, heads explode, etc, etc -- you get the idea.

If anyone has any suggestions for great interactive puzzles or other challenging games, please voice up in the comments. If not, then I plan to go back to the old Monday Mind Teasers setup again for a while.

You can play Jimp and LongAnimal's game zOMGies here. Good luck!

Last week's debate offered tons of options and the votes piled in by the hundreds. Given the freedom to vote for any game series as your favorite of all time, here were the top leaders out of the 59 different series that received votes:

• Metal Gear Solid (31 votes) -- Winner!!!
• Final Fantasy (20 votes) -- Silver Medal!!
• The Legend of Zelda (17 votes) -- Bronze Medal!
• Mario -- (9 votes)
• Half-Life -- (7 votes)
• Grand Theft Auto -- (6 votes)
• Shin Megami Tensei / Persona -- (5 votes)
• Mega Man -- (4 votes)
• Metroid -- (4 votes)
• Earthbound / Mother -- (4 votes)
• Resident Evil -- (4 votes)
• Halo -- (4 votes)

I hope you survived last week's daunting debate, because as promised, this week's debate will be just as huge and exhausting. Out of the hundreds of games released last year in 2009, which was your favorite?

Not only will you have to give each and every game release a thorough consideration, but you may also have to run out and buy, or finish, that one game you've been keeping your eyes on all year that just came out last week. Hurry up! You have all week to vote! But be warned: you may only vote for one game. Voting for more than one game will disqualify all of your votes.

I look forward to reading what the Dtoid Army chooses as their most precious packaging of pixels from 2009! Hit the fold to read this week's bonus questions while you consider your vote.

Last week's Boomshine game did a phenomenal job at keeping things as simple as possible while still being thoroughly enjoyable. This week's game does a great job of taking a similarly simple concept, but instead making it more complex with several replay incentives.

Drag Box is definitely as simple as it sounds, and those of you who had the pleasure to play Fdown (Fall Down) on your TI-83 calculators in high school will instantly realize the objective is to perpetually navigate through scrolling obstacles towards the right side of the screen for as long as you possibly can. However, with a much more imaginative random level design engine than what the TI-83 was capable of, and not to mention color, it makes this version much more thought provoking.

Add in a power meter that lets you teleport with a mouse click when it's full, and several power-ups like ghost, slow or tiny modes, and the game becomes less and less simple and more and more enjoyable. The extra features don't end there though. It also allows you to enhance the experience by upgrading attribute points into speed, shape, teleport and power-ups. Oh yeah, and there's 16 achievements waiting to be unlocked!

What more are you waiting for?! You can play Drag Box here on Newgrounds.

Oh boy, last week I thought I was throwing a small gathering of die hard fans a bloody zombie bone, but apparently there's almost no closet Resident Evil movie fans around these parts of the Internet. Let's just get this over with and move onto something much more exciting. Here are the results:

• Favorite Resident Evil movie: Resident Evil

Yep, the first R.E. movie won, and Resident Evil: Degeneration was pretty much the only other movie to get votes.

This week we're bringing 2009 to an end by finishing our game series debate era with a bang. I want to know what your favorite game series of all time is. Is it an extremely old series, or a new one? Is it your favorite because of just one amazing game out of them all, or is it impressive overall? Will I be reading lots of Legend of Zelda or World of Warcraft votes? Perhaps Final Fantasy or Street Fighter? Maybe Super Mario? All series from all genres on all consoles/PCs/handhelds count.

What game series do you like the most out of every game series ever made, and why? What sets it apart from every other series? Give it some serious thought, share your thought process with all of us, and then get some gamer friends to join in on the fun. Hit the jump for the new bonus questions!

Next week's debate: What's your favorite game of 2009? It's coming! Start thinking about your answer now, and be ready!

Did you survive the last Monday Mind Teaser challenge? There were many casualties and a lot of great men, women, and robots were lost to The World's Hardest Game. I contemplated slapping everyone in the face with the game's sequels this week, but I'm not as evil as the Tetris God. At least not during the holidays.

Instead, I present you one of the best simple games I've ever played. I don't need to go looking to find out this isn't the first game of its kind, and it surely won't be the last, but it's definitely one that is timeless. I'm not going to give you any directions, because true simple games don't need any. They're instantly understood by the player, and stretch across all races, genders, and ages. This is a game so simple that the entire experience is based on making one click. One click. It's so simple that it makes Half-Minute Hero look like Civilization III.

However, don't be fooled by how simple this game is, because it will still reach out to your emotions. Close your eyes and think of your favorite game in recent years. How long did it take before that game had a memorable scene that tugged at your hopes and fears? Boomshine, without any characters or dialogue, manages to achieve a decent spectrum of feelings with a single click. It's challenging for me to think of other flash games that are more simple, yet it's still that friggin' affective. I'm not trying to say Boomshine is better than Shadow of the Colossus, but I'm surprised that something so simple was exciting and memorable.

Boomshine goes above and beyond the easy entertainment offered by cards or other simple gambling games, and it towers over the majority of the artsy games out there while completely bypassing any semblance of artistic arrogance or pompous metaphors. Forget Fl0w or Flower, give Spore the boot, and realize how damn tiny and simple this game is when you're playing it and enjoying yourself. Keep track of how enthralled you are by the last level. Watch as the screen lights up and you see your hopes rise and fall and tiny emotions start to sneak out of your face over a game that's essentially just a few dots of color. That's pretty damn impressive to me.

I'll stop hyping the experience now, in fear that you'll be expecting something more than what it is in its simplicity. You can play Boomshine here on Danny Miller's site, or listen to more incredibly relaxing and peaceful music made by Tim Halbert here. Helpful gameplay tip: you can click anywhere, not JUST on one of the dots.

Leeloo Milla Jovovich stares deep into your soul. Last week we discussed which Resident Evil games were the best and worst in the whole series, and as promised, this week we take a break from gaming to debate which Resident Evil film is the best. Before you grab your popcorn or blindfolds, here are the top results from last week. The complete lack of a landslide might surprise you!

• Favorite Resident Evil game:
• Resident Evil 4 (35 votes) -- Winner!
• Resident Evil 2 (29 votes)
• Resident Evil GameCube remake (12 votes)
• Resident Evil 3 (9 votes)

• Least favorite Resident Evil game:
• Resident Evil 5 (12 votes) -- Loser!
• Resident Evil 3 (6 votes)
• Resident Evil 4 (5 votes) -- tie!
• Resident Evil Zero (5 votes) -- tie!

As some of the readers picked up on, it looks like every other Resident Evil game in the main series has had tremendous success. RE 2 was a huge hit, RE 3 gathered mixed reactions, RE 4 was overwhelming, and RE 5 underwhelmed. So should we expect great things from RE 6? With Capcom suggesting that a Resident Evil 6 game would be a complete reboot of the series, my guesses are that the RE pattern may continue.

The Resident Evil movie series will surely also continue on for many more years. Which film do you like the most out of the entire Resident Evil series, and why? What set it apart from the other movies in the series? Give it some serious thought, share your thought process with all of us, and then get some friends who also enjoy Resident Evil films to join in on the fun. Hit the jump for new bonus questions and next week's debate topic!

The game series debate continues! Last week we ended the Mario series by choosing the all-star of its RPG past and having it battle the pinnacle Mario platformer game to the death. Some disagreed with the two that made the finals, others bowed out of the voting process due to an inability to choose, while others just sat back and watched with excitement. Stirring from their decades of sleep, the two Super Nintendo giants went to war for the title of the best Mario game of all time, and one went back to its slumber with all the stars:

• Super Mario World (20 votes) -- Dtoid Army's favorite Mario game of all time!
• Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (11 votes)

Resident Evil is another series that stretches back many years, and much like the picture above, it also has shadows from its past that refuse to be forgotten. Can Resident Evil 5 overcome the success of its predecessor? Will one of the older titles be the survival horror game that still survives after all these years? A newer portable game perhaps? Or will a game in one of its sub-series surprise us all?

Which game do you like the most out of the entire Resident Evil series, and why? What aspects of its game design, gameplay, visual and audio experience made up your mind? Give it some serious thought, share your thought process with all of us, and then get some friends who also enjoy survival horror games to join in on the fun. Hit the jump for new bonus questions and next week's debate topic!

Warning: The following may not be suitable for minors who are living completely happy lives. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to play this game if you have any other plans for the rest of your night, or if you or your family has a history of depression or rage induced blackouts. Destructoid is not responsible for any injuries or harm you or others around you receive while playing this game, but we are required to inform you that by playing this game you run the risk of epilepsy, self-inflicted bruises, mild to severe computer and accessories damage, cancer, and in some extreme cases, even death. Do not attempt to play this game at all if you are pregnant, operating heavy equipment, or are within reach of sharp objects. Good luck!

Today was a great day. Then I played this game. Don't be fooled by the amazingly upbeat and enjoyable music -- if you turn your volume down low you can hear Edward Norton's voice warning you that this game is Marla Singer, and that it will ruin *everything* good in your day. What he should be telling you is do not click on the menu button after you've started your game, because it will reset you back to level one, and there are no progress passwords. Also, ads refresh every few minutes and ensure that you lag and die. Also, I dare you to beat this game and share your screenshot in the comments.

The picture above is from a screenshot of when I finally needed to take a break from playing this game after about an hour of repeated failure and self-esteem evisceration. You'll notice I only beat a third of the game before hitting my boiling point, and that 9 successes came at the price of over 400 defeats. But before you go and do the math to predict what kind of torture ratio this game involves, you should know that I only had around 150 deaths when I started level 10. And I'm still not done with level 10. This game is exponential evil.

Also, you might die in seven days. Good luck!

The World's Hardest Game via AddictingGames, via Nickeloden, via Viacom. Q.E.D. Proof that Viacom is evil.

Last week I told you a Resident Evil series debate would be next week -- surprise! I just couldn't let the opportunity to see these two famous Super Mario games pass by without a huge 1 vs 1 "Mario to the death" showdown debate. This one is for all the marbles mushrooms!

With the help of the Dtoid army we chose Super Mario World as the best Mario platformer game in the entire series, and last week we also decided on the best Mario RPG game from the same series, and as it turned out, even the same console. Here are the detailed results:

• Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (21 votes) -- Winner!
• Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (12 votes)
• Paper Mario 64 (7 votes)
• Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (4 votes) -- Tie!
• Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (4 votes) -- Tie!

Here's your choice as the worst Mario RPG game so far, which received over half of all votes cast:

• Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time -- Ouch!

This week you must weigh the pros and cons of each game's different gameplay styles, compare and contrast their impacts on the future of their series, consider how well each has stood the test of time, and also contemplate all the other visual and audio experiences that both games offer. What aspects of its game design and execution will win your vote? Or, what downfalls of the other game lost your vote?

Which game do you like more, and why? Give it some serious thought, share your thought process with all of us, and then get some Super Mario friends to join in on the fun. Hit the jump for new bonus questions and next week's debate topic!

Many of you will know exactly how this week's game is played just by looking at the picture above. There's been dozens of these ball bounce puzzle mazes over the years, and they never get old to me. With this one being released wayyyy back in 2004, chances are good you've even played it in the past. Trust me, it doesn't get any less stressful on each replay!

It might look as simple as navigating from point A to point B, but with the majority of the maze's walls missing, it makes choosing the correct path much more difficult. Add in a few teleport and other trick blocks, and you've got yourself a game that I'm sorry to torture you with so late at night. Good luck finishing the rest of your homework now!

Last week a few of you brought up that you miss the old format of these Monday Mind Teasers, and guess what? Me too! The problem is that I had been doing them every week for almost three years, and was starting to run out of game covers and themes to use! You can count on me going back and forth every few months, so that I get a regular buffer to work with. Keep an eye out for the return of the old format soon!

You can play Road Blocks here on Newgrounds.

P.S. Tomorrow is your last chance to vote on last week's Super Mario series game debate!