The first Xbox LIVE Arcade game with playable Avatars was NinjaBee's A Kingdom for Keflings, a quirky game about bossing around villagers as a giant and looking for hearts buried deep inside the world's vast amount of resources. As we learned today from Big Download, there are plans for a PC release.
I'm not being facetious when I express my joy for this news. Seriously, I really did enjoy the heck out of this game. All-around tough guy Brad Nicholson and I regularly played Keflings after long bouts of Gears of War 2, because it was great for easing the stress of rampant bloodshed down to a minimum.
NinjaBee is looking for testers on its forums currently, with plans to give those who actually participate in the beta and provide feedback a free copy of the game. Check out that last link if the work sounds manageable -- Keflings is a fun game indeed.
I used to think Piranha Plants were cute. That’s all changed after seeing this Piranha Plant model by Deviant Art user Kalapusa.
The extreme Piranha Plant was made out of acrylics, clay and a wire skeleton and you can see a making of video after the break. It was also made with pure evil. Even though it’s scary as hell, I really want one for my front yard now. It’ll keep those damn kids off my lawn, that’s for sure. And lucky for me, Kalapusa will be selling this model on eBay pretty soon!
Kalapusa also has a regular Piranha Plant model that’s worth checking out. Don’t worry, it won’t give you nightmares. Check out more pictures of the monster Piranha Plant here.
"So Cool. TickleMe Plant
If anyone wants to grow a REAL plant that MOVES when you Tickle It. Check
out http://www.ticklemeplant.com The leaves suddenly fold down and even the..."...
While Anthony Burch -- Destructoid’s own bearded-stud and Internet video star -- was doing his thing on the show floor of PAX ’09, he stumbled upon Dominic Armato, the voice of Guybrush Threepwood. Perhaps in the name of JOURNALISM or simple humor (these things are one in the same, right guys?), Burch asked Armato what he thought about Destructoid. In Threepwood’s voice, Armato replied.
Did he say we are the best blog ever? Did he shower us with minutes of praise and talk about Brad Nicholson’s muscles or Jim’s monocle? Did he talk about how f’ing metal our community is? No, no-no, and no. But he did say something that was sort of nice.
The ESRB is slapping Borderlands with an “M for Mature” rating. If you’re familiar with the cover art -- or, hell, even glimpsed at what we’ve written about the substance of the sci-fi shooter -- this shouldn’t be a surprise. The rating as a whole isn’t interesting, but what is hip about all of this is the ESRB’s summary, the place where a poor soul at the organization breaks down the game’s naughty bits.
The summary mentions that players will “kill hundreds of enemies” ranging from human bandits to the “mercenary soldiers with a “wide variety” (read: millions) of guns. As the targeted are reamed with bullets, players will hear a “moan” or a “scream” emitted from their mouths and the damage “results in large spurts of blood, dismemberment, and decapitation.”
Basically, the ESRB is saying that Borderlands is totally f’ing metal.
The full listing is available after the break and there’s plenty more to see, including references to numerous swear words like, say, d--kbag as well as references to other kinds of metal, uh, we mean adult-specific, slayings.
"Is it asking too much to expect the 'obvious' from these 'red state type games' where you hear someone called a 'tard', saw their feet off, then they are set on fire - and their wheelchair is pus..."...
Media Molecule’s LittleBigPlanet was once known as “Craft World.” The studio responsible for LBP recently made public -- via its official blog -- a flyer used to pitch the peer-to-peer design game to Sony. Obviously early in the design process, the flyer doesn’t have the same sort of LBP look and feel, but it does carry the majority of the promises, including the promise of players being able to create and customize their own levels “in glorious photorealistic PS3-powered 3D.”
Also of note in this thing is the potato in the right-hand corner. That was Sackboy before he got his sack and before he decided to pop out of his zipper-cave.
In the same post, the studio mentioned it had also discovered a few DVDs from “LittleBigPlanet’s past.” If the footage is anything like this Craft World flyer, or contain the elusive PotatoBoy, we’re more than happy to sit down and watch them ... for journalism, of course, not entertainment.
The Guinness Book of Records is like the App Store. Whatever you dream up -- no matter how zany or mundane -- you can either find it in the text or have it put in it if you’re so inclined. The latter is the case with the bozo “most consecutive amount of time playing Grand Theft Auto IV” record. The current holder is Jim Patton, who proved his GTA mettle by playing the game for 28 hours straight.
But a new challenger is approaching. According to Tech2, 26-year-old Chirantan Patnaik plans to beat that record -- and exceed it by more than two hours -- at 10:00 AM today.
Patnaik expressed confidence to Tech2. He said he has experience with staying up all night. Also, he’s apparently never played the title before, so it’ll have that beautiful fresh feeling that should last, oh, let’s say the first nine hours or so.
Watch out for the Bank Robbery mission, man. That one is a doozy. Also, good luck.
Ok, before we even get started, I should warn you all: the video after the jump is gameplay for the upcoming PS3-exclusive Katamari Forever.
It's still a Katamari game, and that's really all there is to it.
If you're an observant fan of the series, however, you'll notice a few things: the new visual filters look gorgeous, and you can jump (!!) in the newest installation. Of course, we already knew those things, but watching the little Prince launch himself through levels that I've played often enough to have memorized was definitely cool.
I'll admit that I missed out on Me and My Katamari and We <3 Katamari, so I'm not sure if the water-the-flowers sequence is new or not. However, it's an example of the original and creative things that can be done with the ostensibly repetitive ball-of-crap-rolling mechanic. One of the few good things about 2007's Beautiful Katamari was the way it changed up the formula without switching up the core gameplay.
There might not be anything Earth-shattering in the gameplay video embedded below the vid (Katamari is Katamari, after all), but a.) cel-shading is pretty and I like pretty things and b.) a little reminder about an innovative and interesting franchise never hurt anybody.
Edit: Seems that the video below the fold is a Franken-video of three clips that Namco Bandai released about a month ago (here, here, and here). Oh well. I like it better in one digestible chunk, anyway.
Well, I don't know if you'd call the following video (after the jump) an endorsement as much as an impromptu video shot in a Target right before closing while on a late night snack run. Of idiots. Posing with colorful high-fructose corn syrup. Wow. I know. No, not that WoW.
Watch on as Rey and Colette put on their best face for Dew with a blast of citrus cherry flavor. Or that other one of contrasting color that we didn't bother to look at. We expect PepsiCo to send over the check any day now. Oh, and Pepsi rep? Diet soda, please. We don't drink this crap.
Have any of you tried this? Is it diabetes in a bottle? Or is it pretty good?
For anyone who saw the summer movie debacle that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I can guarantee that the only silver lining in that stinky little cloud was Ryan Reynold's performance as Deadpool. Until, you know, they effed it up at the end. But at least for those five minutes, we got a character who wouldn't shut the hell up and who cut bullets with swords. It was fun!
I've heard all sorts of rumors about how Reynolds is a pretty big comic book fan, about how he really wanted the Deadpool role, and how he has all sorts of clauses in his contract for the character to stay true to the Deadpool persona. All of these claims are largely unsubstantiated internet rumors, but it just goes to show that the nerd portion of the internet really likes the guy. I mean, I'd drink a beer with him.
However, I wouldn't mention my favorite nerd hobby around him--videogames. In an interview leaked by, ugh, Perez Hilton in the latest Entertainment Weekly, (note the Summer Must List Double Issue!) Reynolds is asked about such illuminations as Jon and Kate Plus 8, being a sex symbol, and videogames, among other things. His comment:
I don’t really play video games. Is there a way to waste more f—ing time? The Internet’s enough. The last videogame I played was Ms. Pacman[sic].
Ouch. I'm trying my best to channel my inner Jim Sterling, but all I can come up with is the feeling of mild disillusionment. Oh, and the irritation that just because you get to act as the most interesting comic book character to come out in twenty years and sleep with Scarlett Johansson, you can still be a condescending douchebag whose original claim to fame is a film where dog semen on pastries is somehow funny. Oh, and the last game he played is a boring piece of crap.
"Sorry, Ben, this whole "make up your OWN minds" thing is a cop-out. The title itself is a complete and willful mischaracterization of what he said. Unfortunately, "Ryan Reynolds says games are a ..."...
Shortly after Mega Man 9 was released nearly a year ago, Seth Killian of Capcom-Unity.com announced that he'd seen something in the game that we hadn't. Ever since then, we've been searching, scrounging, and hacking the hell out of Mega Man 9 to try and find it, and so far, we've got nothing.
Well, maybe not nothing. There are plenty of Mega Man 9 secrets floating around the internet, many of which can be seen here on Seth's blog. A lot of those nuggets are new to even me, and I've seriously played the crap out of Mega Man 9. Even after all that, Seth says we still haven't found the secret, though he makes a point to tell us that we are "halfway towards discovering" it. What the hell, Seth? That's like saying someone is "halfway towards being pregnant".
The more vague Killian gets, the more I want to know what he's talking about. For all we know, this "nugget" is cooler than the the Wood Man/Cut Man cameos in the Saturn version of Mega Man 8, or the secret hadouken arm in Mega Man X. The suspense is almost enough to make me want to give away my Mega Man 20th anniversary t-shirt signed by Keiji Inafune to whomever can find this secret first. Almost.
"DemonEyes23, go to Youtube and search for "Megaman 9 Secrets." There is a three-part series where the dude shows some neat little tips and tricks from the game, most of which should be apparent i..."...
Straight out of the bowels of Japan comes another UFO catcher that Dale, Colette, and I will be sure to rock the sh*t out of at Tokyo Game Show: Mario Party Fushigi no Korokoro Catcher. Namco Bandai's doing all the construction work on the machines, while Capcom did all the designing for the game. The machines will be launching in Fall of 2009, so be ready for it.
The takeaway message from this announcement, though, is that Capcom and Namco Bandai are using this as a test to see where they can start developing new business together in the arcade area. Perhaps a Dead Rising lightgun game could be in the future. Who knows?
"I fucking hated the Crane mini game in Mario Party, the computer was such a fucking cheater, they would never let go of you when they grabbed you, NEVER LET GO!"...
About two weeks ago, I went into my local Wal-Mart to grab some low fat sour cream. (I have a baked potato fetish. It’s how I get my carbs.) On my way to the refrigerated foods, I stumbled upon a Wii kiosk. Instead of being somewhere sensible, like the electronics section of the store, my Wal-Mart jammed a Wii at the end of an impromptu aisle of off brand soda.
Because it was so wildly out of place, I stopped to admire the set up. It was disgusting. The plastic shell covering the Wii and the hi-definition television were smudged by thousands of tiny fingers, not to mention streaked with some weird sugary substance. The nunchuck lay unceremoniously on ground, while the Wii remote, still in its proper holder, had nasty brown marks on its sides. The plate where everything rests was covered in rings from a chocolate pudding cup, dust, and black flecks. To top it off, a used napkin and spoon were left beside the console.
I have to admit though, the ice cream (not pictured) on the Vitamin Water side of the Wii tasted pretty good despite its warmth.
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Just like Pixelated Geek says, this videogame cutscene is not about sex. It is very serious business and it is about keeping a young girl alive. If you can somehow extrapolate a sexual subtext from this sensitive and heartwarming portrayal of a girl whose very existence is born from struggle and pain, then there is something really very wrong with you.
It's a slow news day, so let me take the opportunity to share with you some irrelevant garbage dug out from a dark corner of the Internet. Did you know that the Sega Mega Drive classic VectorMan was once going to be a movie? Didn't you? Well it was!
On July 22, 1996, Sega of America announced that it had signed a deal with Ideal Entertainment for movie, TV and merchandising rights to VectorMan. The film was described as "Toy Story-like" in presentation while the IP itself was lauded by Ideal Entertainment as "suitable for mass exploitation." Not suitable enough, it would seem, since this move never happened.
VectorMan was a 2D action platformer that used 3D rendering to create very impressive graphics for its time. It was both critically acclaimed and incredibly popular with consumers, and remains one of the highest-ranking Mega Drive games in history.
Not a relevant story, but amusing to consider. Despite its popularity, VectorMan has never seen a revival, and seems strangely obscure these days. Oh well, I'm sure Sega will get around to dragging the IP from its coffin eventually. Hit the jump for the press release, as written in 1996.
"I haven't seen Wall-E yet, but from what I hear about it, there are some slight similarities. Vectorman was a sludge barge pilot, and one of many 'orbots' left behind to clean up Earth."...
[Update: It looks like this video has been pulled from YouTube with the quickness. But trust me, it was shocking. Info below.]
Depending on your level of "germophobia," you may want to look away from the above video. What you're seeing is "spy cam" footage of the inside of a GameStop employee restoom, and yes, it looks like it's where they store some of their consoles.
Disgusting? Maybe. Depends on how much faith you put in the ability of a GameStop employee to not miss the bowl, I suppose. Here's a news flash, though -- an endless warehouse does not lie beyond the metal door that sits at the back of most retail stores, GameStops included. Considering the number of SKUs being dumped onto retail, space for storing inventory is a precious commodity. And have you seen the size of the box that Guitar Hero World Tour comes in?
Engadget writes: "On a serious note, we're telling ourselves that there's just no way this happens in even a meaningful amount of GameStop locations." Well, as someone who worked for the specialty retailer at a number of locations for more years than I'd like to admit, this is more common than you'd like to think.
So is something like this a deal breaker? I mean, between the fact that they sell people used games as new (arguably not the case) and won't leave you alone about their discount card, will you never step foot inside a GameStop again?
"Space is a huge issue with GameStop stores. I've been lucky to work in some of the larger ones, so it has never been an issue for me. In fact, it's never really been an issue in the smaller, shoe..."...
Someone's got to track this crap, right? The Entertainment Software Association has done that for us, and they say that 38 percent of gamers are female. These gals spend 7.4 hours a week playing games, and the survey says that the majority of them prefer casual games. They usually use the Nintendo DS or a PC get their game on. Whatever.
A CNN article ties these statistics into how many women are actually making games. They say that women represent just under 12 percent of the game industry and quote attendees of the San Francisco G.I.R.L. event we attended a few weeks back.
While I'm all for the push for more women in the games industry, I can't get behind making these girl gamer statistics big news items. Yes, it's great that that almost half of gamers are females. But guess how many gamers were female the previous year? According to the ESA, 2006 had the exact same figure, 38%. What's even more eye-roll-worthy is that 2005's number was higher: 43%. And 2004? Yep, 38% again.
Can we stop making this a news item? Girls play games, we get it!
Channel Frederator just earned me as a lifelong fan with this Mike Tyson's Punch Out spoof video. I suppose it helps that Mike Tyson is a moron and morons are funny, but every time he delivers that uppercut, I lose it and fall on the floor laughing. I'm going to shut my trap now so I don't spoil it, but seriously, this is good stuff. I wonder what Mike is doing right now? Why hasn't he tried to kill anyone lately?
This comes from a tip dropped over on Ectomo: a post on gaming blog Yahuda that challenges the universally-held notion that the primary, and perhaps sole purpose of games is to be fun.
Games are not supposed to be anything. Games are a medium, like movies, books, and painting. The problem with games, and the game industry, and gamers, is that no one has ever thought about games as other than a) how fun they are, and b) how many people play them. Everyone believes that a better game is one that sells more or that more people play.
Bollocks.
The author goes on to point out that paintings, books, movies, and other media have long since moved on from pure entertainment purposes, to a zone where they can serve alternative or additional purposes. Paintings, the author points out, are no longer required to be purely decorative to be worthy of praise and appreciation.
I've presented this hypothesis to several people and receive similar responses: if fun is no longer required in games, what's the point?
"To me, explaining my passion towards gaming is like a hobby more than an artform, and I approach it that way. Some people get enjoyment from painting, some from making wooden furniture, others d..."...
Gather close and listen, o ye sons of men, o ye prodigal daughters, o mine long lost droogs: to hell with Florian Eckhardt.
We had a deal. It’s always been about solidarity. Whether he was lambasting my BBW status, or I was railing against the filthy way he insists on covering his trepanation pit with that crusted fez, we stood together. I think by now, the felt has actually grown into the scabby keloids that crest his saurian head.
But this morning I awake to find his verbal diarrhea hosed all over the front page, describing a celestial visit to Dtoid HQ, and all without me. Me, who wedges him under the faucet whenever he’s tippled overmuch and soiled himself, then comes stumbling to my door, mistaking me for one of his ex-wives and crying out for respite and nepenthe and a soothing session over the sawhorse with a riding crop. Do I criticize him? Do I take his crumpled bills, scattered at my feet in paroxysms of drunken, misdirected remorse?
Merry Sabbath to thee, my gentle children and welcome to the sixth installment of the Non-Newsround. I'm running on the small amount of sleep that killed Leonardo da Vinci so excuse me if this week's edition bears more than a passing resemblance to a Sony fan video. I shall endeavour to provide at least a small amount of entertainment that you can enjoy on your internetted computertrons.
In this week's concise edition, see what Microsoft really thinks of its software lineup, rock out with the most unwell looking band alive and then gawp at Princess Peach's ... princessy peaches. Hit the jump for the best non-stories of the week.
[This week's Non-Newsrounders were SuMizzle and of course, Joe Burling who also made the image above]
To add to today's essential collection of non-news, I offer you this absurd commercial we just received from the ooVoo people aimed at gamers. The video shows a trio of British blokes entering a deathmatch session engaged in proper trashtalk aimed at the newb on the left, played by our very own Jim Sterling (I wish). As he gets completely pwned in the game he also literally takes a beating, a faithful nod to the retro HUD in DOOM. Hate to call them out on it, but the irony is that the app only works with windowed-mode games. You can't run ooVoo and a full-on DirectX shooter at the same time and still see your friends. Oops! At the very least, you can get your mom's makeup out and blow kisses at Workman in the comfort of your home.
While the ad is cute at best, I wish there really was a function in the software that did some kind of simple overlapping face-mapping effects. Maybe Microsoft will someday do this on their Live Cam -- don't you sometimes wish you could shovel UNO cards into the mouths of lamers?
I hate that fairy so much. I'd pull its wings off and throw it to the spiders, that's what I'd do. Hello and welcome, of course, to the Non-Newsround, your weekly round up of the news tips that Destructoid's body of editors just didn't think were worth your time. You know the drill by now. After the jump, I'll take you on a cruise through the past week's less than stellar industry news, because everyone's special, even the unremarkable. That's what they teach you at school. I'm rambling.
Hit that jump to learn how to unbrick your PSP (maybe), how to get free movies from burger people (num nums) and how to conduct a shady meeting with Jack Thompson (if you're Take Two). What are you waiting for, your mother's permission? Get to clicking!
[This week's non-newsers are Joe "takin' Jim's schtick" Burling and ... actually, that's it. Joe's been doing nothing but sending in tips this week, the mad fool.]
"Simon Quinlank is absolutely legendary, and Kevin Eldon's one of Britain's greatest gifts to comedy, from FoF all the way through to Jam.
"What do I look like, f***ing Noddy!?""...
Since starting a weekly round up of news tips that aren't good enough to grace Destructoid with their own posts, the biggest challenge to become evident is finding entertaining ways to write from sources that, at heart, range from unexceptional to simply dull. So far I've gotten away with it, but today's edition may very well be the ultimate test of my writing ability, since I almost decided it just wasn't worth it this week.
Join me after the jump for this Sunday's Non-Newsround, as BlindsideDork shows us his box, I urge suicide among the masses, there is a magnificent hat and also, a giant NES controller.
[This week's non-newsrounders are BlindsideDork, Ry C and Santos Gonzales]
Good people of the Imperial City, welcome to the arena! It's Jim Sterling, your debonaire prince, here once again with another dirty wad of non-news. If you haven't been with us for previous installments, the format is very simple; I spend the week gathering news stories and following tips that just aren't noteworthy enough to make their own Destructoid posts, gather them all together and unload them with a thick, creamy sauce in one almighty post of pointless tripe. Basically, it's a waste of my time, your time, and the government's time.
Not got a huge deal of non-news for you this week, but after the jump you'll get to hear about a NEW EUROPEAN AGREEMENT OH MY GAWSH, saucy videogame covers and Dr. Zoidberg. It's all dog poo!
Sometimes, I like to wrap my fingers around the shaft, press a thumb on the end, and pretend that my penis is some sort of warm joystick, and that I am playing video games with it. When I'm not indulging in crude genital make-believe, however, I am gathering uninteresting, boring, and generally annoying video game non-news.
Every week, Destructoid gets sent news tips, many of them awesome, several of them rubbish. Last week's debut of the detritus went over really well, so let's try it again. This week features yet more porn stars playing video games, some videos that Hamsa deemed too crap to be part of Weekend Destructainment, and exclusive Starcraft II footage! Hit the jump for your Sunday dose of non-news.
[This week's non-news tipsters are: Topgeargorilla, Paco DG, Dr Dykes, DrHairyDwarf and Joe Burling. Love and kissies for them all]
The culmination of this weekend shall mark the completion of my first week here on the marvellous pages of Destructoid. It's been a wonderful week, all in all. I took my lumps, and still nobody knows who the %*$£ Jim Sterling is; but I feel I've hit the ground running and am learning the ways of the Dtoid collective. I have come to understand many things already when it comes to writing about the games industry. The chief lesson I have learned, the premier information that is most pertinant, however, is this:
Destructoid gets sent a lot of crap.
We have a fantastic group of guys who send the editors tips each and every day, and it's something that's definitely appreciated. Sadly, however, not everything we get sent is a pure nugget of news gold. There are some tips that are cool enough, but not exactly noteworthy, and then there are pieces of news so mindnumbingly dumb and awful that we wouldn't want to run them in a million years.
Until now.
I don't like to waste anything, which is why I'm so fat, and it broke my heart to see all these news tips going to waste, doomed to disappear into the ether without so much as a squeak. That's why I staggered up to Niero and told him we need a Non Newsround, where we celebrate the sub-par and revel in the rubbish. God help him, he approved. For the past week I've been saving the best of the not-so-great, the disappointingly average and the just plain awful. Here are the fruits of my labors.
So hit the jump for the first (and likely last) Non-Newsround.
Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press living the dream since March 16, 2006
3:00 AM on 11.18.2009, 
The ultimate PC gamer to-do list
Think L4D2 is an expansion? You're a f*cking idiot 
The Memory Card .76: Brotherly love
The Zen of Gaming: What games chill us out
Do the wrong thing: Breaking Sasha's promise
A spotter's guide to videogame bosses
My sexy, nerdy, fertility boosting ReBirth wish list
Revisited: the ending of Prince of Persia is broken
The Memory Card .75: The blind fighting the blind
Game SERIES Debate to the Death! The Legend of Zelda
Attention, everyone buying L4D2: I have dibs on Ellis
Does sexual orientation have a place in games?
The art of Once Upon a Pixel: Katamari Damacy
How to respond to a videogame review
Ten 'classic' games that did not age well
Attention, everyone buying L4D2: I have dibs on Coach
The Memory Card .74: Crono's trial
Attention, everyone buying L4D2: I have dibs on Nick
Why the Left 4 Dead survivors may secretly be infected
