It's the classic story of four friends making great things happen until some psycho b*tch comes into the scene and ruins everything.

[As posted on Japanator]

And by "real girlfriend" I mean Real Kanojo, an upcoming title  from Illusion Soft, better known to most English-speakers as "The RapeLay guys."

It seems they've held off from causing immediate controversy and settled for trying - and failing - to claw their way out of the Uncanny Valley, this time with this freakish CGI woman.

I must say though that at least from the specs, Real Kanojo is an impressive technical achievement. The game supports full 3D graphics (the funky-glasses kind), Windows 7, multicore processing, widescreen monitors, and full-on motion-sensing technology. And I don't mean that Love Death 4 weak sauce, either. Webcams track the player's face and movements. The girl's animations are fully motion-captured as well.

And as above, you can poke her in the nose. Also squeeze her cheeks, and - this being a game from Illusion Soft - all sorts of NSFW deeds. Move over, Project Natal, this is PC gaming at its...err...best?

Is this the ultimate evolution of Illusion's other woman-simulators, such as Sexy Beach and Artificial Girl? Or is it just the slutty version of Love Plus? I'm not sure. I mean, she looks kinda-sorta similar to a real 3-D disgusting pig.That hurts her cosplay options! Check below for a gallery, and a decidedly inappropriate (and obviously work-unsafe) gameplay video courtesy of Kotaku.

"Truckers Delight" is directed by Jérémie Perin who takes you on a ride full of rape and poop. It's all done in a 16-bit, Sega style game and at first glance, you would think this is a Paul Robertson animation. Really, you have no idea what you're about to watch.

Yes, the video is a few days old and Ha-Puken even posted it on the C Blogs. Deal with it. Check out the NSFW AT ALL video above and get ready for your eyes to explode.

[Thanks, Robert!]

[As posted on Japanator]

As seems to be the case with any Japanese franchise these days, there seems to be a trading card adaptation of The King of Fighters video game series. That's hardly news.

What is news is that a Chinese otaku, for whatever reason, decided to go and adapt many star players from some mysterious sporting group known to insiders as the "National Basketball Association" to said card game, expertly 'shopping their likenesses onto the game's many combatants, while adapting their names and statistics to fit the setting.

To spice it up further, the artist threw in various much-loved celebrities, such as Michael Jackson, Jack Nicholson and Megan Fox. I expect this to soon appear as DLC for The King of Fighters XII, or NBA Live 10.

See the gallery for athletic picture action. Can you identify who became who? Not being a fan of KoF or the Basket-Ball, I sure as hell can't.

[Via Deadspin] 

No matter what your thoughts are on the odd little game that is Noby Noby Boy you have to agree that Noby Noby Girl is one of the coolest community features in gaming around. See, as Noby Noby Boy eats in the game Noby Noby Girl grows longer and longer into outer space, and her growth is affected by every person who plays the game. She's pretty long now; so long, in fact, that she has reached Jupiter, which is 576,682,810 miles away from Earth. 

A random multiplier was added to everyone playing the game recently, which helped Noby Noby Girl reach the planet, but it still took a lot of game time to get her there. Did you help out or have you not returned to the charming land of Noby Noby Boy recently? If not, now is the perfect time to do it as a new planet has been unlocked thanks to Girl reaching Jupiter. You can check it out below in video form.

Sony can't get enough of those weird PSP games. Following in the footsteps of such titles as LocoRoco, Patapon and Holy Invasion of Privacy, Badman!, we have a brand new bit of portable weirdness from the PlayStation C.A.M.P development program. This is 100-man Ton no Bara Bara.

Players take on the role of Titori, a man who must protect his town from a series of unmanned airships that descend from the sky to destroy things. Titori will need to latch onto the hull of the ship and tear pieces of it. If he can tear from one end of the ship to the other, a piece will break away. He will have to avoid missiles, robots and other obstacles like indestructible ship parts. He must also rescue prisoners of the ships, and it's hinted that those rescued will join Titori's forces and help take down ships.

The game's due for release in 2010 and looks set to be a cult favorite. Check out the teaser site while you wait!

We just got a press release for Mass: We Pray earlier today from Paryer Works Interactive and it's so ridiculous that we doubt that this is a real thing. Seriously, just look at the Web site or watch the video above. It feels like something College Humor or Adult Swim would do.

Cross-shaped controllers, Holy Water sprinkling mini-game, pressure-sensitive kneeling pads -- just wow. Bravo to the people behind this fake. And in the off chance that this is real ... Jesus Christ, seriously!?

What the buck? Exactly.

We get lots of things in the mail. Games, mostly. But games makers and PR companies send us all manner of things. I wasn't exactly surprised to see a massive inflatable buck head in my mail. You know you've been doing this for awhile when getting inflatable buck heads in the mail seems normal.

This is a strange promotion for Super Happy Fun Fun's Big Buck Hunter Pro, an iPhone translation of the popular arcade game. Killing deer made pocket-sized. Good times.

But rather than be that games journo that scoffs at something like this, I thought I'd put it to good use. While others that got this left it in its neatly folded deflated state, I blew lungs full of hot air into the buck head, and then proceeded to mount it on my office wall...after scaring the sh*t out of my dogs, of course.

This buck head is now a permanent fixture of my office. It will forever overlook my workspace, watching on as I play games and then write about them. Watching on as I blog about games news and and releases. Super Happy Fun Fun, know that your promotional dollars have been put to good use here. I think we'll become good friends, this buck and I.

What should I name this mother bucker?

You've no doubt seen the world's drunkest guy video by now. If not, you're in for a double treat as this spoof video takes the original and turns it into a videogame boss fight.

It's pretty funny at first, but the joke does get old pretty fast. Plus, the Super Mario music doesn't fit at all. Final Fantasy boss fight music would have been better suited. You also have to give the guy some credit. The fact that he was able to make it to a liqueur store at all is amazing.

[via Kotaku]

Ever since videogames evolved from the blips and bloops to real voices, there has been plenty of games with horrendous voice actors. From the TurboGrafx-16 to games in this day and age, there's always going to be some lazy and cheap director who'll hire the first chump they can to get the half-assed job done.

YouTube user dirtFilledCoffin went through hell to compile 50 of the worst voice acting scenes in gaming and put them all together in the video above. You're either about to laugh your ass off or go deaf from the atrocities blasting out of your speakers. 

My favorite voice clip is number 46 from the game Michigan: Report From Hell and number 3 from Mega Man 8. Which ones did you like to hate the most? 

Deadly Premonition looks frightening, but for all the wrong reasons. Developed by Access Games and published by Ignition Entertainment alongside Marvelous Entertainment, it's a third-person survival horror game due out early next year.

As an FBI agent trying to solve a murder case in a remote town, specifically the kind of remote town that seems to always breed insane locals, "terrifying" creatures, and cults, it is your mission to run around shooting things until the mystery unravels itself.

Yeah ... I know. That tree did just squirt blood everywhere, and that freaky girl did just stick her hand in the guy's mouth.

As a sucker for all things horror, especially when laughs are involved, I think this game might actually be perfect for me.

The Onion News Network got an exclusive look at the next Modern Warfare game. It's looking like it will be a lot more realistic as you'll be doing a bunch of boring ass sh*t throughout the game, just like in the real Army!

Modern Warfare 3 will have you talk to people, debate which actress is hotter and there's even going to missions set in America. Modern Warfare 3 will also hit the Wii with a 17 pound controller shaped like an M249 machine gun. Nothing says immersion like an oversized peripheral that's a waste of money!

Even though this is a spoof, you just know someone is going to make an M249 machine gun attachment for the Wii now.

[via dronkmunk's C blog]

You know what, I don't even need to sell you on the "Ultor Exposed" add-on for Saints Row 2. Volition somehow managed to capture Gary Busey's antics on tape just long enough to create an advertisement for the DLC, and its ability to sell is literally unbeatable.

Much to the delight of penny-pinchers everywhere, Major Nelson informs us that the Tera Patrick-starring download has been marked from 800 Microsoft Points down to 560 Points -- three whole dollars off!

Problem is, at the time of writing, the price cut hasn't yet been activated for whatever reason. Step to it, boys.

So ... this happened.

The picture was taken by Twitter user withgandana from some store's shelves stocking Snuggies, otherwise known as WTF blankets.

No word on whether the blanket will actually make you a better Street Fighter IV player. Oh, and it looks like the Street Fighter IV blanket is exclusive to Xbox 360 owners as the two douche bags on the cover of the box are holding 360 controllers. Sorry PlayStation 3 owners. Looks like you got screwed over again.

[via Jaredr's Twitter]

Brian May's signature hair had to be nothing short of perfect for his appearance in LEGO Rock Band.

Speaking to Yahoo! News UK, the Queen guitarist said "I think my LEGO character is wonderful. I want one. We had discussions about the hair, there were a few emails. They had to negotiate to use my likeness, but it's a nice thing."

For once, a musician was actually happy about their portrayal in a videogame. As phenomenal as Queen looks in LEGO Rock Band, I can see why. Better yet, Def Leppard's Joe Elliott called May to say "he was pissed off because they didn't make one of him."

A story like that's gotta be true.

[Via Eurogamer]

Budget dinosaur murder simulator Jurassic: The Hunted is out this week on all consoles, which is breaking news in and of itself. But to sweeten the deal, we have some unedited gameplay footage from the Wii version courtesy of Go Nintendo.

Judging by the same punch-a-dinosaur-in-the-face-because-you-can sequence found in the trailer for the Xbox 360/PlayStation 3 versions of Jurassic: The Hunted, I have a feeling it's the same exact game, just with lesser visuals; as if that even matters for this kind of, uh, "experience" in the first place.

Still, it's good to know everyone can get the same unintentionally hilarious fun from this game. I took the liberty of taking a few screencaps of the good parts. Enjoy!

Oh and by the way, what's up with the weird sound effects at 6:50? Do I even want to know?

I would take this over an Asteroids movie any day. And yes, in case you've been living under a rock, there really is an Asteroids movie in the works.

The funniest part about this trailer is a two-year-old joke from Dale North. College Humor did a Minesweeper movie trailer back in 2007 and Dale made a crack about how horrible a Sims movie would be. As a horror-comedy movie, The Sims movie could be good. Better than all that Saw sh*t anyway.

Also, Dale North is so dreamy. I would love to just sit next to him in a park as we hold hands and watch him talk sh*t about everyone that's walking by. This last thing has nothing to do with this post, but I thought I would share anyway.

Major games getting pushed back to next year? That's Modern Warfare 2's fault. The economy in the sh*tter? Modern Warfare 2's fault. Frankenstein defeats vampires? Modern Warfare 2's fault yet again!

Modern Warfare 2 isn't even out yet and it's caused so much pain and suffering on our world. You know how the planet is said to be ending in the year 2012? That's bullsh*t. The world is actually going to end next Tuesday, when Modern Warfare 2 is released.

Goddammit, Infinity Ward.

_{[Hot otaku news ripped straight from the headlines of Japanator]}

You read that right. Hideo Kojima, the man behind Metal Gear Solid, along with Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, the character designer and manga creator for Neon Genesis Evangelion, and Ryuji Gotsubo, the illustrator for the Twilight novels in Japan, are judging what amounts to a fanart contest for Twilight.

In conjunction with the Japanese website pixiv -- essentially a Japanese deviantart -- users will submit their fanart for Twilight: New Moon, whereupon Kojima will give one winner an autographed copy of Metal Gear Solid 4, Sadamoto will give an art kit, and Gotsubo will give them an autographed copy of the first three Twilight books in Japan (it adds up to the first book in the US edition.)

If you're interested in checking out some of the submissions, here's a link to the search for "New Moon" as a tag on the website. The question that's floating around in my head is: why, Kojima? Do you just have this much free time, or are you really that big of a Twilight fan? And will this have an impact on your future games? I'm afraid you're going to rename Raiden "Edward."

[Image via pixiv user kakeru]

[Editor's note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our moms raised us. Want to post your own article in response? Publish it now on our community blogs.]

Some of you may already know this, but I hail from a place that is both Mexico and not Mexico at the same time: the newer of the Mexican lands, specifically, a town called Albuquerque. It is a place famous for hot air balloons, Bugs Bunny’s poor navigational choices, and…we named our minor league baseball team after an episode of The Simpsons.

The evidence is incontrovertible: Albuquerque, New Mexico is truly the greatest place on Earth.

But what’s this? A hidden layer of this great city that has long been forgotten? Indeed, what very few know about Albuquerque is that it has offered the single greatest contribution to the world of videogames. Without it, the industry’s landscape would be nothing more than a disfigured scarecrow standing in a field of crap.

Yes indeed, Albuquerque is the home of American Laser Games, creators of laserdisc lightgun games.

So, come on your pilgrimage, all true believers in gaming, as we visit the one true gaming mecca and pay tribute to its incredible contributions to our lives.

The latest episode of There Will Be Brawl is finally here. The new episode focuses on Mario as he tries to build an army to go up against Bowser and his forces. A lot more Nintendo characters die this time and we have no idea where Luigi is.

This episode isn't as exciting as previous ones. There is just one episode left to go though so they're probably saving the big thrills for the finale. I wonder how this will end. Just who is responsible for all the tragedy in the Mushroom Kingdom?

[via GoNintendo]

Much to my surprise, we have talked about We Cheer 2 before on Destructoid. Not once, but twice. The game doesn't exactly mesh with our readership, so why would we do such a thing? We have our reasons, many of which could be considered immoral.

The clever folks at Namco Bandai have done the impossible: gotten us to break our vow of We Cheer 2 silence by pulling a weird marketing move. Panda from Tekken will have a cameo in the game's Workout mode, as seen in the attached images.

Cross-promotion at its finest or bats**t insanity? Can't it be both?

NSFW AUDIO!

Hey everyone! Been a long time since I first made Left 4 Bed. I had no idea how big that video was going to get! So with the release of the Left 4 Dead 2 demo on PC, I was finally able to make the long awaited (by me) sequel!

I'm fairly sure this one wont be as big a deal as the last one as there have been like a bajillion other knock off videos done, but I still had to do this. In any case, I hope you enjoy it!

CrispyGamer has a hilarious series called Great Moments in Voice Acting where they highlight the more memorable voice acting jobs in videogames. The latest episode takes a look at Mortal Kombat 4 and ... oh God!

I don't know what's better. The whole dialogue exchange, the horrid graphics of the Nintendo 64 or the show's host. Also, Sonya Blade has a nice butt.

Fun fact: Jax was voiced by the creator of Mortal Kombat, Ed Boone.

When Eddie Riggs isn't busy saving an alternate dimension from pure evil, he's helping out the most metal band ever, Dethklok. He gets the band women, saves them from a demon and even cuts the crust off their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Best roadie ever!

This is easily one of the best tie-ins to a game ever. What better way to promote your heavy metal game than by making a cameo on Metalocalypse? 

[via The Awesomer]

And by "horrifying," I of course mean "awesome."

The poster attached below could be yours, assuming reserving Renegade Kid's DS game Dementium II is something you wouldn't be opposed to doing.

While it won't be shipping until February, you'll need to pre-order the game before midnight on Halloween for this offer. Additionally, you will need to take a picture of your receipt and email it to DementiumII [at] southpeakgames [dot com] alongside your mailing address.

An unconventional method for an unconventional poster. Oh, and did I mention it'll be signed by Dementium II's creators? Seriously, who wouldn't want a giant picture of Hamza's hairy arm coming out of some poor soul's mouth?

In what is surely the biggest WTF moment of the day, Paramount Digital Entertainment decided adapting Pet Sematary into an iPhone game was a smart move. I'm still trying to figure out whether to laugh or to cry; perhaps I should do both.

The game received a relatively intricate press release, which you aren't going to care about, except for one key line I'd like to highlight: "Players in Pet Sematary take on the role of a lone hero uninterested in becoming cat food." This just keeps getting better.

Constant tapping makes up most of the shoot-anything-that-looks-evil gameplay, which makes perfect sense for Pet Sematary's $0.99 asking price. The terrible thing is, if I owned an iPhone I would inevitably get this game out of curiosity alone.

How did Koei Tecmo go about attaching some breasts to a wall? This is the sort of question you should be asking yourself late at night. And conversely, the type of answer you should be seeking out in the privacy of your own home, preferably during the nighttime hours.

Besides promoting Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 with the aforementioned shenanigans, the company went on to promote the game with more viral ads, some of which contained more gratuitous use of boobs, some of which didn't.

As stumbled upon by Kotaku, we now have the chance to see how this stuff was made. As to why it was made, well, we'll get back to you on that one.

Well this kind of snuck up on me. Last time we checked in on The Legend of Neil, it was a musical episode full of sex jokes! Somehow, four episodes flew under my radar since then and the final episode of this season premiered today.

In the final four episodes, Neil goes to a bar and makes friends with some Moblins, gets saved and almost sodomized by another Moblin, is forced to kill his Moblin friends and eventually gets captured by Ganon. Neil wants out of Hyrule, but Princess Zelda is still held captive by Gannon so Neil has to chose whether he wants to be a hero or run away like a coward. 

Episode four is above and the final three await you after the break. You guys like the series? Do you want a season three to happen? 

We've all wanted to drink a massive bag of blood before, and now our desires have finally been made real. Harcos, creators of the famous "mana potion" energy drink, have announced their brand new creation, a "blood bag" full to the brim with delicious redness.

Blood bags are an item you just don't see enough of in games. In Killzone 2, you can toss them on the ground as a Medic to heal allies, but even so, it's a form of health regeneration that there should be more of. This new energy drink isn't quite as game-centric as the mana potion, but it's still pretty damn brilliant and worth featuring.

What say you? Would these be enough to satisfy your cravings, or would you feel less like Dracula and more like Dickula?

Don't you just love live TV? The Home Shopping Network was selling a Wii with a 15 Wiimote accessory pack when the best thing that could have ever happen, happened. The host goes to swing the Wiimote with a tennis racket attachment and the thing flies off into the TV, damaging the screen. 

Props to the host for still going on with his pitch, despite his co-host laughing her ass off at him. And I just love how he tries to hide the damaged screen by standing in front of the TV. Even better, this YouTube video is hosted on Home Shopping Network's official YouTube page. Hilarity! 

[via Joystiq]

Over the past month, YouTuber daneboe has been mashing up videogame worlds together. First he dropped Contra into Duck Hunt's world. Then Sonic ran through Pac-Man's maze where those poor Ghosts didn't stand a chance.

The latest versus match up sees Scorpion from Mortal Kombat dropped into Donkey Kong's world and the results aren't pretty. Scorpion is merciless in his brutality on Nintendo's famous icons.

[via noobde's Twitter]

We know there's a lot of ideas out there for custom creations using the Wiimote and nunchuk, but this one might be one of the weirdest of all. How about a Nunchuk controller furry tail that you can wear and even make swish from side to side? 

Controlled by RFID "mood cards", you can use them to control which way the tail wags, or you can also use the Nunchuk to do so. So, uh, why would you want to wear a movable tail? Well, there's two options: either it's Halloween, and you're planning some sort or animal costume, or you're into this. It's not my thing, but you know , if it's yours, you can wag your tail with a Wii accessory. I'm sure Miyamoto would be thrilled to hear about that.

This viral ad is for Tekken 6. It features women in their underwear fighting for some reason. It has something to do with Tekken 6, I guess.

I’m all for foxy boxing, but I can’t help but feel this ad is a little offensive towards women. The tag line for these virals ads are “What will you fight for?” Apparently, these women will fight for shoes. Regardless, there’s some skin in this video and everyone on the Internet are perverts anyway so enjoy!

Perverts.

I'm a total dork when it comes to the Halloween rituals -- I love hanging the stupid skeleton on the door, going to pick out a pumpkin to carve, queuing up the scary movies. I'm not so sure how I feel about carving a pumpkin virtually, but if you feel good about it, now you can do it. Siliconera spotted indie game Pumpkin Carver on the Xbox Live store, which, as you can guess, is a pumpkin carving sim.

Sure, it's definitely aimed at kids with its simple interface, but considering it costs 80 Microsoft points (basically $1.00), you can't really complain. Thing is, all you really do is decorate the pumpkin with precut stencils, so if you're thinking you're gonna get fancy in there and make a Bayonetta pumpkin, I gotta shoot you down now. If you can do that to a real pumpkin though, send it to me, because I'll put it on the front page of Destructoid faster than you can say First Climax.

I know you're probably staring at that header picture in confusion, trying to figure out what Final Fantasy and Bon Jovi have in common. The answer is nothing, so don't struggle to figure it out. Well, nothing before the news report on Andria Sang this morning that Bon Jovi has been asked by Square Enix to provide the music for an upcoming commercial for Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers. I'm going to give you a minute to think about that and try to wrap your head around it.

The song being used is called "We Weren't Born To Follow" and comes from the upcoming album The Circle, which is due out November 4th. The single for this song is due out later this month. There's nothing wrong with the choice, it just seems a wildly different choice then, well, the J-pop I would normally expect. Bon Jovi will be in Japan October 26th-30th to promote the album. 

Not safe for work. Also, related (and not safe for work either). 

[via TinyCartridge]

Disclaimer: this isn't nearly as good as the Crysis "Raining Men" video, or most of the other "spawn a bunch of objects, it'll be funny" CryEngine 2 videos, for that matter. However, it is certainly worth watching anyway.

Before I get further ahead of myself, let me explain what it is I'm referring to. A dedicated Unreal Tournament 2004 player filled maps with many, many barrels, set the resulting massive explosions to the 1812 Overture, and created a video of the madness for our viewing pleasure.

Impatient readers will want to skip ahead, because the video spends a good time building up the suspense. Of course, that's part of the magic.

[Via Rock, Paper, Shotgun -- thanks, unangbangkay]

I have no idea what kind of men this expectant mother has been sleeping with, but it appears that the result has been a tummy full of Drybones. This ultrasound quite clearly shows an undead Koopa Trooper nestled within the belly of a woman called Amy. Seems that certain bones weren't quite so dry after all.

Yes, we know, this is a stupid story that doesn't belong on a journalistic news resource such as this, but it's also the most awesome ultrasound picture you're likely to see today, so just shut up and revel in the trite "gamer humor" that we're forcing upon you. It's been a rather slow news day, after all. 

Also, looks like the princess is in another womb.

When you take into consideration how I skateboarded off of an exploding parking garage while being chased by a runaway UPS truck full of bears only to land in one of those portable swimming pool trucks, saying how this hide and seek mod for Team Fortress 2 was the highlight of my week means something.

First thing is first, credit goes to Shacknews for finding the crazy thing. What makes the mod so great is that you aren't just hiding your character on various maps -- instead, you are a prop, and you have to position yourself in a believable way so you don't get found.

By the way, you absolutely have to see this mod in action before you brush it off. To be more specific, check out the epic frog chase about halfway through the clip.

Adding to Homeland Security's arsenal of x-ray and particle detecting technology is....a Wii Balance Board? A Wii controller is going to protect my country from foreign invaders?

Homeland Security is toying around with a new program called Future Attribute Screening Technology. It favors detecting body language over x-rays and bag checks. They look to physiological signs and visual cues to know if you intend to do harm to the United States of America. 

In their bag of tricks is the Wii Balance Board. They've altered it to better sense weight shift. A CNN article says that this would become a fidgeting monitor. Fidget too much and you might be a bomb smuggler. This, combined with other tech, could determine threats to our fine nation. I feel safe now.

What if you just really had to piss? I'd fidget. Would I be denied passage?

This program will start field testing in 2011. 

Remember Don't Copy That Floppy? A modern day sequel was made. Yeah.

Last week was full of violence as Karoshi (Japanese for "death by overwork") brought us countless levels involving suicide strategies. If you thought that was the peak of Japanese odd vocabulary and Japanese-themed games, well, then you haven't played many Japanese games before. Bizarre games like this get passed around behind the scenes at Dtoid pretty often, but after seeing this one today I just had to share.

This week we have a fantastically silly game called KOI2, which seemingly encourages mindless acts of repeated spousal abuse. The goal is as simple as poking a girl in the forehead as many times as possible in a certain amount of time. While this mouse button mashing game might not seem like your typical weekly mind teaser, it's at least educational. Apparently the game's name comes from the Japanese word koitsu, which usually means "this guy" when you use it. However, it can also be said to a stranger as a "how rude!" expression of anger.

And my favorite part of this exchange of words is the intended reply when a stranger calls you a koitsu. If anyone ever points at you and yells "koitsu!", then it's customary to turn around, point right back at them, and shout "soitsu!", which means "this guy" in Japanese. "That guy!" "No! This guy!" From now on when I'm in public I will randomly yell "koitsu" at people until one day someone finally responds with the proper reply. That day may very well not come until the next time I see Brad Rice in person. So be it.

If you're afraid to play this game that feels like a Freudian Katamari Damacy dream (and you should be), then feel free to first watch the video of it below the fold. It features just a few of the many random powerup ways to poke her in the forehead. Hammers, rabbits, summoning genies, etc. You know, the usual.

You can play Party-Tencho's game here, or try their other equally crazy games here. [Thanks for finding this game, Travis!]

Remember a while back when Raskulls develop Halfbrick sent out an unusual email asking if we believed in the teapot? Well, looks like the Australian studio is not quite done. Yet another email has been sent, this one proclaiming that we WILL believe in the teapot.

In addition to that message, Halfbrick sent a link to a new teaser site, Believeintheteapot,com, which shows only one image -- some sort of Loch Ness Teapot, photographed in its natural habitat.

I am looking forward to Raskulls like crazy. The peculiar sense of humor that these guys have should make for a really fun game, and the sidescrolling puzzle racing aspect looks really tight. Can't wait to see more of the game, and we shall of course keep your posted on any developments surrounding this promising XBLA title.

Of all the times I’ve played the Grand Theft Auto series, it never once crossed my mind how easy it was to get out of jail. Just give up some of your money and all your weapons and you’re a free man once again. 

This video from Atom.com points out the unique justice system from GTA and it made me realize that I would prefer a little mini-game over just getting a slap on the wrist in the GTA games. I avoid getting sent to jail as it is (I’ve reloaded save files just so I could avoid getting jailed off my stats) but I wouldn’t mind it if it involved some Splinter Cell style jail breakout.

Granted, that would get really annoying after awhile if you kept getting arrested. 

[via ToplessRobot]

A Spanish forum has posted an absolutely wonderful set of pictures depicting Master Chief eulogizing and mourning a lost friend at a funeral attended by a gathering of grief-stricken consoles. The friend in question is, of course, a failed Xbox 360 and the pictures are, of course, quite hilarious.

Weep openly as Master Chief and an artist's mannequin console each other over the loss of a deceased console, and share the sorrow as the Spartan hero reads out his final farewell. The text is all in Spanish, but the pictures say it all. Check them out, they're really quite amazing. 

[Thanks, Fernando]

You’ll never play Super Mario Bros. 2 the same way again after watching this video. So someone that sounds like the Power Thirst announcer found out about Super Mario Bros. 2 and recorded himself playing the game. The result is pretty hardcore.

It’s mostly just the guy saying what he’s seeing out loud, but there are a lot of funny moments. I have a feeling I’m going to be doing this myself a lot from now on. 

Also, Toad gets all the b*tches. 

In the first Paperboy in real life sketch, a man deals with the Paperboy who continually ruins his morning. The man strikes back by attacking the Paperboy with various obstacles, such as Japanese BBoys, but isn't successful futile until he takes things too far.

The second Paperboy sketch is a movie trailer spoof where a boy is forced into becoming a man by becoming the Paperboy. His dad gets shot four times too.

Both videos are oddly full of violence, which is really weird considering that this is Paperboy after all. Still, you might get a chuckle or two from watching these. Maybe.

[Both videos via Geekologie]

PopCap and Square Enix's Final Fantasy Bejeweled, or as I like to call it, Gyromancer, started similar to how most videogames do: as a joke. Alright, maybe that's just how it happens in my mind and isn't at all indicative of real life. Maybe.

Jason Kapalka, co-founder of PopCap, told GameLife that he was "half-joking" when he pitched the original concept for Gyromancer to Square Enix. Since Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords borrows from Bejeweled, he thought it would be "karmically neutral" for them to make a puzzle/RPG hybrid game in the same vein.

But instead of PopCap straight up copying a company who copied them, which would have been hilarious and probably ended tragically, they took the high road and gave Gyromancer the mechanics from Bejeweled Twist. Kapalka says it feels more "strategic," and better suits "their vision for the game’s storyline and world."

If only the jokes we made here on Destructoid would get turned into videogames. Oh wait, that totally happens already. How silly of me.

Last week we played through a game where your future self torments you. This week we just plain old fashion torment ourselves. "Karoshi" is a Japanese word for "death by overwork" and with our hard working staff home from TGS 2009, I figured taking another look at this series was appropriate.

The goal in this series is simple: beat every level by finding a way to kill yourself. Jump into spikes, let boxes fall on your head, shoot bullets at bouncing surfaces, and the list goes on and on. The controls can be a bit over sensitive and fast paced, but in a suicidal puzzle game it only ends up lightening the mood of the journey as you burst into bloody fireworks over and over each level.

Two of the games you can play right in your Web browser, while the other three are offered as free downloadable PC games. Feel free to dive into any of the five games here on Jesse Venbrux's site.

[Weekend Destructainment is a collection of funny videos brought together from all across the Internet to bring you entertainment on these slow and boring weekends.] 

Real life invasions, songs and remixes all fill up Weekend D this weekend. The first two videos after the break see videogames invade and terrorize real life. Then it's the "Zombies on your Lawn" song with real people. Next, Dtoider Mr PORC sings the Super Mario Bros. theme sadly.

Then check out the full recap of the Lo-Tek Resistance concert from PAX. Next, 36 skaters go downhill and do some Tetris. Followed by Kon riding the Darksiders horse. Then it's the ODST OST. The Destructainment ends with brentalfloss giving the Zelda theme lyrics.

What the hell, right?

If you've already watched the above video, I bet you've come back for some context. Without context, this has to be one of the strangest things I've ever seen. Even with context it's still pretty strange. 

So here's the deal: We went to Tecmo's TGS party, much like we do every year. Well, this year, thanks to the recent merger, it's now the Tecmo Koei party, but it's still in the same Kaihin Makuhari hotel, and there's still the same drinking and debauchery as always. This year they decided to throw an air guitar contest, and our own Rey Gutierrez decided to join in the fun. Rey was dead set on winning the prize, a guitar controller autographed by the Tecmo Koei staff.

Rey competed in all four rounds and did well, judging by audience response. For the last round, though, he had a solid plan: he would be as over-the-top as needed to win this prize. It turns out that Rey's boldness was contagious, and soon all contestants were dancing shirtless. I'm still nodding in disbelief. Nick stood behind me the whole time, quietly muttering "what is happening?" over and over.

In the end, Rey won. Thanks for taking one for the team, man. I don't know if you'll ever win this one down.

Mega64 discovered Scribblenauts recently and thought it would be a good idea to make the Scribblenauts technology work with Mega64's videos. Good idea in theory, but letting the Internet have creative control on anything is a HORRIBLE idea. 

As funny as the video is, I'm pretty sure most of those comments are real YouTube comments the guys get on on a regular basis on all of their videos. Of course, it's not surprising since YouTube commenters are some of the worst. 

... or we all get swine flu. When Ormagoden demands something, everyone has to listen. With a name like that, he means business.

Thankfully, Double Fine will be doing its part to lessen the possibility of widespread torment. On Rocktober 1st (aka next Thursday), the team will be partaking in a live Dem-o-Thon starting at 12:00 PM PDT. Hijinks are bound to ensue, so don't forget to check back on the official Brutal Legend site for the live stream.

Additionally, Q&As plus giveaways will be taking place via Twitter.com/BrutalLegend. At the very least, it'll hopefully lessen the pain of our impending doom.

A dog with cannons attached to its back? If someone hadn't told me such a thing wasn't really coming to Team Fortress 2 (at least not yet), I probably wouldn't have known otherwise. This mockup of Valve's class updates looks surprisingly real -- it's even got Steam achievements -- but a few things give it away.

All in all, it's definitely one of those "A for effort" scenarios. Personally, I found this MANN CO. letter to be quite a bit more entertaining than the user-created faux update page, but then again, one wouldn't work without the other. In my current sleep deprived state, I think the Guard Dog idea is just ridiculous enough to work.

I suggest Valve should go all out and bring the idea to Team Fortress 2 for one day of the month. If playable dogs in a first-person shooter for 24 hours doesn't end the world, nothing will.

[Thanks, Timdabrat and the twenty other people who sent this in]

Remember when Cabela's Trophy Bucks came out in 2007? If you say yes, then you're a f**king liar. It was the same week that Halo 3 came out, so of course you don't remember. The Cabela guys found this out too late, though, and needless to say, Bungie ruined their party.

Well, it looks like Bungie did it again. Those jerks are releasing Halo 3: ODST tomorrow, the SAME DAY that Cabela's Big Game Hunter 2010 is coming out. The Cabela guys thought it was safe to release their new game, but it seems like Bungie wants to do nothing more than to destroy the poor developers behind the animal hunting series. 

The Cabela guys try to stop Halo 3: ODST from going on sale, but are unsuccessful. You can watch them try after the break. 

I used to think Piranha Plants were cute. That’s all changed after seeing this Piranha Plant model by Deviant Art user Kalapusa.

The extreme Piranha Plant was made out of acrylics, clay and a wire skeleton and you can see a making of video after the break. It was also made with pure evil. Even though it’s scary as hell, I really want one for my front yard now. It’ll keep those damn kids off my lawn, that’s for sure. And lucky for me, Kalapusa will be selling this model on eBay pretty soon!

Kalapusa also has a regular Piranha Plant model that’s worth checking out. Don’t worry, it won’t give you nightmares. Check out more pictures of the monster Piranha Plant here.

[via CraziestGadgets]

In my ongoing quest to find a mod for Half-Life 2 that is simultaneously the dumbest and greatest thing ever (at least for today), I think I can finally give my life's work a rest.

Thanks to the boys at Giant Bomb, my journey has come to a close. They spotted this magnificent mod which replaces practically all of Half-Life 2's sound effects, excluding character voices and a few other minor effects, with the creator's own voice.

Thankfully, you don't have to actually install the thing to get the gist of the hilarity -- just click the header image to watch a video of the silly mod.

Japan will make a videogame out of anything it seems, including domestic violence and anger management issues. The rage of frustrated civilians has been condensed into a new arcade game, in which players must literally pound on a table and then flip it over in frustration.

Cho Chabudai Gaeshi -- based on the Japanese phrase "upending the tea table" -- places players in front of a plastic table peripheral, which they must slam their fists on in order to score points. It's a bit like Taiko Drum Master, but with a lot more intimidation and fury. As players bash their way to victory, they'll eventually get to score a coup de grace -- flipping the table over for the big finish. 

The best thing about this game has to be the kind of scenarios you can re-enact. The settings include a host club, a wedding party, an office and a Japanese living room. You can terrify a date or silence a nagging family by throwing the table over and shutting them up. 

So yeah, this is basically the best game ever. Hit the link for a video.

It's hard to say "I'm officially over videogames with zombies in them" when I keep having to go back on my word. The latest in the long line of zombie games to make a liar out of me? Zombie Tycoon.

We briefly talked about the PSP Mini title during gamescom, but now we have actual pictures and not just an ooze-covered logo. Besides the concept art itself looking pretty terrific, I must say I'm really digging the goofy art style for the zombies.

Make sure to click on the link above to see more images of Zombie Tycoon, and don't forget to write a small note on your calendar next to Halloween; developer Frima is hoping to release the game around then.