games  anime  |  toys
Destructoid is gaming news, community, videos, and sometimes love. Take the tour or jump in with Facebook:

 




Uwe Boll making a third Bloodrayne movie photo

Somebody stop him, please. I don't want to kill him, just take out a part of the brain that makes directing movies impossible or something. If Bloodrayne 3: Warhammer, a movie based on a videogame that wasn't ever made, gets made as Uwe Boll wants to I will hold each and every person who reads this post responsible because you didn't stop him.

What is wrong with the world that this man keeps on being allowed to make movies? The man made Kirstanna Loken in skimpy clothing unwatchable. Do you know how immensely impossible that is to do simply with bad directing? And yet he did it! Her return in this third film brings me no joy as I know that he will once again turn something beautiful into the film equivalent of burning in hell for five thousand years.

We've had plenty of Boll rants here (some from the man himself), so I'm going to stop now. Just make it go away, for the love of everything holy, make it stop.


  33 comments   latest by Xzyliac:
"YES! I love Bloodrayne and I love Uwe Boll. Neither of these things are connected however. Also, I fear this will only remind me that we will never get a third Bloodrayne. I know why people ha..."...
read more


The Weekend Hotness: Jam out!

3 hours ago - 11:59 PM on 11.22.2009, Hamza CTZ Aziz


As seen on Weekend D: This Mega Man 2 cover was performed by the amazing Jam Project people. Fair warning: Your face will melt.

Left 4 Dead 2 is not an expansion, get a free comic from Sony, Noby Noby has reached Jupiter, a guy married a videogame and more happened over the weekend.

Destructoid Originals:
The Videogame Show What I've Done: Assassin's Creed 2
Weekend Destructainment: Mohawk grenades!
Think L4D2 is an expansion? You're a f*cking idiot
Ten Minute Taste: 1 vs. 100 Season 2
Best of the Network this week
The ultimate PC gamer to-do list
This Week in the Community: 'My bum'
Games of the week for 11/22/09: Get on mah horse edition

Community:

The wrong thing: Only cream and bastards catch 'em all.
The wrong thing: Finger relief = dead GF?!
The wrong thing: Because you had no idea
Community blogs of 11/21 & 11/22
Forum of the day: Thoughts on Time Travel

Contests:
Are you the ultimate Naruto fan? Prove it!

News:
More Project Natal at Gamefest 2010
Gameloft: Devs scaling back game development on Android
Actual good games are coming to the Wii Virtual Console
Get a free comic from Sony
PSN is Sony's basis for taking over the world
Noby Noby Girl hits Jupiter, new planet for all
Left 4 Dead 2 on the PC gets a patch
The amazing SixthSense is really NVGR... yet
Mass Effect 2 surprise coming this week
Aonuma - "Nowadays, OoT is not that good"
3D isn't everything says Miyamoto
Card game rips off NBA, King of Fighters simultaneously

Offbeat:
Man and videogame are wed, face and palm meet again
Mario teams up with Rex for co-op in Super Mario World
Flairs 'Truckers Delight' music video is awesome and NSFW
Random: Ref uses 360 controller to control replays

Media:

Today's TeeFury shirt wants you to play outside
You are so not ready: City Bus Simulator 2010
Learn about UPlay from soothing female voice
Digital Comics for PSP code hits; a look at the reader
New Sakura Wars screenshots dance in
See The Watchers in Dark Void
Need for Speed SHIFT delivers its first free DLC
Sony's newest 'everything' ad is ver - STICK


  4 comments   latest by Atheist Jew:
"Holy SHIT. Thank you Hamza, I had no idea JAM Project was amazing."...
read more




"Truckers Delight" is directed by Jérémie Perin who takes you on a ride full of rape and poop. It's all done in a 16-bit, Sega style game and at first glance, you would think this is a Paul Robertson animation. Really, you have no idea what you're about to watch.

Yes, the video is a few days old and Ha-Puken even posted it on the C Blogs. Deal with it. Check out the NSFW AT ALL video above and get ready for your eyes to explode.

[Thanks, Robert!]


  45 comments   latest by Gryzor:
"Demoscene a bit, too. I remember a couple of demos that squeezed an impressive amount of full-screen animation into a few scant kilobytes. Anyways, I thought the video was technically amazing; b..."...
read more



Random: Ref uses 360 controller to control replays photo

I dug this out from our "Late Night Sunday Post" file, but figured it was random enough to post. An ESPN viewer over at Kotaku was watching Mike Pereira, the NFL's chief of officiating, on ESPN during Pereira's weekly rundown of controversial plays, when he noticed that the man was controlling all his replays with a 360 controller. Now, it's probably just a 360 controller for Windows as the producers most likely run the entire thing off a PC and that was the easiest way to control it all, but I like to think there is a bigger conspiracy here.

We've been watching a game of Madden every Sunday for the past four years. They've got a super realistic looking Madden that they've kept secret so that the NFL can make more money. See, instead of paying all the players they simply pay two people to play the game. Instant profit. When you go to a game you're just watching holographic projections of the Madden game. Thus, these replays have to be controlled from a 360 because that is what they were developed on. It makes sense people. I'm not crazy!


  16 comments   latest by ArrestedDeveloper:
"So can I blame the 49ers performance on the crappy D-pad?"...
read more



Card game rips off NBA, King of Fighters simultaneously photo

[As posted on Japanator]

As seems to be the case with any Japanese franchise these days, there seems to be a trading card adaptation of The King of Fighters video game series. That's hardly news.

What is news is that a Chinese otaku, for whatever reason, decided to go and adapt many star players from some mysterious sporting group known to insiders as the "National Basketball Association" to said card game, expertly 'shopping their likenesses onto the game's many combatants, while adapting their names and statistics to fit the setting.

To spice it up further, the artist threw in various much-loved celebrities, such as Michael Jackson, Jack Nicholson and Megan Fox. I expect this to soon appear as DLC for The King of Fighters XII, or NBA Live 10.

See the gallery for athletic picture action. Can you identify who became who? Not being a fan of KoF or the Basket-Ball, I sure as hell can't.

[Via Deadspin


LAUNCH GALLERY (25 IMAGES)
Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo
 

  18 comments   latest by TehBuLL:
"When the japanese realize that none of those people actually have hair, they might be disappointed. Swear, this is some joke."...
read more




Old meme is old, I know, but I've been in Miami all week and Niero has not stopped playing it. It's stuck in my head and I feel I must exorcise the demon by posting it on the frontpage. So yes, do please look at my horse. My horse is amazing.

While I am here, I promised I'd give a shout out to Destructoid's new Steam group, since I am now a super PC gamer and have been rocking the computer games all week. So yeah, if you're a Steam user and love Dtoid, check it out!

Anyway, videogames. Hit the jump to find out about all the damn videogames.

view full story + comments


  43 comments   latest by ammoelf3:
"God of War Collection. Played the first one twice though already, got my first platinum trophy on it. On to the next one!"...
read more



3D isn't everything says Miyamoto photo

In a recent article in Nintendo Power Shigeru Miyamoto got to talking about 3D games versus 2D and voiced his opinion that going 3D isn't always the best thing. It's an age old argument, and considering Miyamoto has delivered unto us some of the greatest games in both styles in one franchise (New Super Mario Bros. Wii, FTW) his opinion on the matter should probably be respected.

"I don’t think everything needs to be 3D, or that just because we’re seeing more 2D games now, that everything’s going to shift back to 2D. Instead, I think that what’s going on is that people are realizing the benefits of a 3D game, and at the same time, remembering what the benefits of 2D games were," he said. "When going 2D, you need the courage to not be so attached to visual appearance of the games and to really pursue the gameplay experience.”

Amen, brother. This seems blatantly obvious, especially since most gamers who know their stuff have been screaming it at the top of their lungs for years. However, I have to agree with Miyamoto that it seems that developers are just realizing this. It took a while for the blind love affair with 3D to wear off of gamers and developers, but I think we're getting there.


  34 comments   latest by wonky360:
"we see in 3D."...
read more



Aonuma - 'Nowadays, OoT is not that good' photo

Here's a pet peeve of mine; people with a rose-tinting deification of Ocarina of Time. For me, that game, along with Mario 64, will always symbolize a personal low-point for my feeling of connection to videogames as a whole. Of course, I understand why people love both of those games, and it's totally understandable that they'd be a lot of people's favorites, but to unequivocally say that either of those games are "the best" in their respective series is just poppycock.

It's nice to hear that Eiji Aonuma, current overseer of the Legend of Zelda series, seems to agree with me. According to a recent interview (translated from Japanese to Spanish to English, so take it with a grain of salt), Aonuma feels that "If you play Ocarina of Time nowadays, you notice that it’s not that good. Sometimes it doesn’t move as fast as it should, graphics aren’t as beautiful as they should be; there are some confusing parts… Any present Zelda is technically superior."

Hear hear, Aonumu-san. Personally, I feel that every 3D Zelda since OoT has been a big improvement over the series' original outing into the third dimension. I still prefer Zelda in 2D, but if I have to play a "newer" one, I'd rather it be Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, or Twilight Princess.

For more on Aonuma's take on Zelda past and present, and the rumors of an OoT remake, hit the link below.

[via Gonintendo]


  89 comments   latest by Springsteen:
"The Legend of Zelda is heart-breakingly innovative and functional for its time. A Link to the Past is brilliantly executed, taking so many steps and learning so much from its predecessors it was..."...
read more



Mass Effect 2 surprise coming this week photo

Yes, it's another story about an announcement for an announcement. You can insert whatever excuse (it's the weekend, people want to know, Mass Effect 2 is a big game) you want here for reporting on it. According to the ME2 Facebook fan page a surprise announcement revealing something surprising will be hitting some time this week.

Chris Priestly (or his evil doppelganger) posted this news on the page: "Man, so much time tied up today in meetings and "secret stuff" I didn't get any time with ME2 at all. =( Still with the coming surprise for next week on the ME2 website, I'm sure fans will forgive me for no update. Did I, Evil Chris Priestly, just drop a hint? Yes. Yes I did."

What could it be? Let's hope it is an announcement about how the game's terrible box art is going to be changed to something that doesn't look like the poster to a Hallmark move. Really, couldn't you just see that thing captioned with "His struggles almost killed him, but then he found friendship, laughter and love?" You'd have to take the guns out of course, but I think I'm spot on there.


  30 comments   latest by Genebeef:
"see, at this point a ps3 announcement wouldn't be a surprise, it would be an expectant (especially from sony fanboys); they are aware people are expecting it and not too long ago officially annou..."...
read more



The wrong thing: Because you had no idea photo

[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our moms raised us. Want to post your own article in response? Publish it now on our community blogs.]

"Bey, old boy," I thought to myself as I lay down the shovel, "sometimes we get swept up in evil without realizing it. Even with the purest intentions, we might ignorantly fall to evil."

Wiping the dirt on my hands off on my jeans, I straightened up and reflected on Tetris and how the vibrancy of its bright colours belie its truly sinister workings. We believe we act only to fill in the rows, but examination reveals darker workings. The tetrominoes appear as if from nowhere, but conservation of mass tells us such cannot be the case. The only alternative is that the poor blocks are ripped from their lives and loved ones by the sheer force of our will to game, left to shiver naked in the wings before they're called to the play field.

And then their agony truly beings. The tetrominoes plummet down, seeing only the bodies of their fellows below them and as they fall, we make them dance according to our whims. They land hard and are smothered by more bodies from above. They live on in anguish until we relieve them of it -- by clearing a row, decimating blocks and often cleaving their geometric bodies in twain. Their screams are all but audible, though they fall on the deaf ears of the entertained gamer. 

view full story + comments


  12 comments   latest by 16bitmonster:
"You are a true gentleman. Do you have a publication or newsletter i could subscribe to and maybe pay for? also, keep up the good write ups :]"...
read more




[This Week in the Community is your weekly look at some of the best Community related work that has come from the Community Blogs and Forums.]

Anthony Burch, in a Phallus Knife Fight production: The Chocolate Taco. This video is based on a joke from one of the HAWPcast episodes which I have no idea if it's really funny because I haven't listened to it and may never will because ANTHONY BURCH IS A JERKFACE!

Togail draws, megaStryke guest starred on a Internet Web series, the C blogs have new features, Funktastic has over 1,000 games now and plenty more happened in the community over the past two weeks.

view full story + comments


  14 comments   latest by TehBuLL:
"ya...those things have been delicious since like 1990 in my parts....which is the middle of nowhere. eat the bitch today. also...dip it in beef gravy."...
read more



The ultimate PC gamer to-do list photo

Let it be known across the land that I am now a PC gamer. I have come into possession of a PC that has glowing green lights on it which means it's probably awesome, and I have been downloading games on Steam and playing them with a mouse. This qualifies me for membership in the prestigious association of PC gamers, and I couldn't be prouder.

Now that I am a PC gamer and have received my official PC gamer decoder ring, I must conform to standards so that I may gain social acceptance among my new peers. Fortunately, I have the social conformity skills of a highly intelligent psychopath, and thus have compiled a perfectly observed to-do list that will allow me to blend into PC society like a sex offender in France.

Read on to learn how this social chameleon will become the ultimate PC gamer.

view full story + comments


  226 comments   latest by klops:
"You are the loser."...
read more



Left 4 Dead 2 on the PC gets a patch photo

While those of us with laptops who couldn't process their way out of a simple algebraic equation are playing Left 4 Dead 2 on their 360, there is definitely a large chunk of gamers out there who rock zombie killing on the PC. However, like most PC games (and console games for that matter) the final build of L4D2 landed with some glitches. To fix this issue Valve has released a patch for the game via Steam.

You can check out all the things the patch fixes at the link above, but the ones you might actually notice are:

  • Fixed performance problem when rendering lots of decals, notably when fighting tanks with shotguns
  • Fixed rcon response not working on Linux dedicated servers
  • Fixed matchmaking problem matching into Advanced and Expert games
  • Fix bug that would cause other specials to try to pummel a player a Charger disconnects or reconnects
  • Fixed versus mode results panel being cut off in transition stats screen in non-english
  • Found games: fixed non-player entries drawing the wrong type of icon in the selected item name label
  • Game mode selector on main menu now takes keyboard input

Sounds like some solid fixes up in there. Have any of these issues been plaguing you guys? I'm going to be honest and say that this patch makes me excited simply because the word pummel is used in one of the fixes.


  21 comments   latest by TheStripe:
"@kevinsky - laden with flaws for some players. Seems more than a few of us are doing just fine. If valve is somehow on your shit list of developer/publishers, you're an idiot. I d I o t ."...
read more


Best of the Network this week

13 hours ago - 2:00 PM on 11.22.2009, Hamza CTZ Aziz

Best of the Network this week photo

[Best of the Network is a look at some of the hottest articles that came out of all the Modern Method Web sites this past week.]

It was Macross day over on Japanator on Saturday. Macross was my first real exposure to anime when I was a kid and the series still holds up to this day. By the way, you can watch the anime over on Hulu for free if you live in the US.

On Destructoid, see what games chill us out. On Japanator, f*ck dinosaurs. And on Tomopop, check out their Righteous Bison Indivisible Particle Smasher review.

DESTRUCTOID

JAPANATOR

TOMOPOP


  3 comments   latest by Everyday Legend:
"ROBOTECH was my jam as a kid, but I did take the chance to watch all 3 almalgamated series seperately in their original form about 5 years ago. It was totally worth it, just to see the juxtaposi..."...
read more




« OLDER

Scan news faster:   Try compact view or read our daily recaps



 
New on Destructoid.TV play all videos

Loading
Loading Destructoid Videos


    Win this!
    Dive in! meetup+play for a chance to win a PC

    Dtoid Twitter    Got news?   tips@destructoid.com

    Reviews & Previews
    Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles review
    Left 4 Dead 2 review
    Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Reflex review
    Arkedo Series - 02 SWAP! review
    EyePet review
    more reviews
    Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks
    Monster Hunter Tri
    Hooking onto, under and above Just Cause 2
    PS3's 256-player MAG
    Rooms The Main Building
    more previews


    - The Dtoid Army is 50767 strong -

    Showing Cblogs with 3+ faps   show all

    Call for entries: do the wrong thing

    New to Dtoid? Read the survival guide




     Originals
    Jim Sterling: The ultimate PC gamer to-do list





















    More Destructoid Originals




     Popular now more






















    Team Destructoid   tips@destructoid.com
    Nick Chester
    Editor-in-Chief
    Niero
    Founder, publisher
    Jim Sterling
    Reviews Editor
    Hamza Aziz
    Community Manager
    Dale North
    News Editor
    Rey Gutierrez
    Video editor & director
    Anthony Burch
    Features Editor
    Colette Bennett
    Tom Fronczak Brad Nicholson
    Ashley Davis Ben Perlee
    Conrad
    Zimmerman
    Chad Concelmo
    Jonathan Holmes Jonathan Ross
    Brad Rice Jordan Devore
    Will Maddock Matthew Razak
    Dyson Joseph Leray
    Topher Cantler Samit Sarkar
         
      Dexter
    Adam Dork
    Daniel Lingen
    Hollie Bennett
    Joe Burling
    Mikey
    Stella Wong

    Josh Tolentino




     

     
      get involved

    register or login
    post a blog
    post a forum
    enter a contest
    contribute a news tip
    suggest a feature
    be a guest editor
    support

    new member's guide
    login assistance
    tech support
    report abuse
    email our editors
    read our dev blog
    nuclear crisis?
    keep in touch

    RSS feed
    Twitter
    Facebook
    Myspace
    Flickr
    Game nights
    Meetup+play online
    seriously

    about Destructoid
    advertising
    terms of use
    privacy policy
    jobs at MM
    buy our crap
    our network

    Tomopop
    Japanator
    Despingation?




    Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming community's need of accountable enthusiast press
    living the dream since March 16, 2006