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EGM reveals Guitar Hero 80s Edition; Winger still sucks

6:29 AM on 01.14.2007, Nex 43 comments

EGM reveals Guitar Hero 80s Edition; Winger still sucks photo
     Drugs

The latest issue of EGM reveals the next step for Red Octane, the developers behind every geek's rock and roll dream machine Guitar Hero. Apparently during the new year, they will be releasing an expansion pack of sorts to their beloved Guitar Hero II in the form of Guitar Hero: '80s Edition. The news overwhelmed many of EGM's readers with joy for at least a minute or two until they realized they weren't alive during the 80s and their parents probably don't want them touching "the damn Hi-Fi".

The game, will, of course, be a huge hit regardless of what they do with it, but we would like to suggest a few steps to ensure that the newest member of the Guitar Hero franchise can be considered the Randy Rhoads of rhythm games.

Hit the jump for our suggestions. 

Red Octane, if you're reading this, you should probably start taking notes. This is the kind of gold that you can't get from focus groups or peyote hallucinations (unless you're Burroughs or Wilson, but I think they're both dead). 

No Kip Winger. If I have to hear his goddamn psuedo-Jesus-rock music coming out of my speaker system I will smash the damn guitar. Not in some kind of angst-filled-Nirvana-aping-Hendrix post song orgy of destruction either, I'll probably just back over it with my car.

Themed Mini Games. You want me to feel like a rockstar from the 80s? Then I damn well better be able to snort lines of ants with Ozzy and subsequently get banned from Texas for pissing on the Alamo. If you can include a dongle for me to e-pee into, I'd be devoted to you guys for life.

Grrl Rock. Chicks are rad, okay? The Go-Gos made a celebrity sex tape before that kind of thing was chic and I think that alone should get them included in the game. Plus, back in the 80s Joan Jett was a fox. I want to remember her as she was then, not as the whithered corn husk she has metamorphosed into.

Satan. The 80s were the decade that propelled Tammy Faye Bakker into the limelight and she was the embodiment of a reaction to the twin evils of rock and roll and a countrywide surplus of eye shadow. We could definitely have done without her, but rock wouldn't have been the same without His Dark Holiness. (Double points if you can get Dave Grohl to guest star as Ol' Scratch himself.)

Obscurity. If you want to win points with the Vice-magazine-reading, American-Spirit-smoking, Momus-eyepatch-wearing hipsters of today, you need to go "unknown". I wanna hear The Cars, sure, but I also wanna see some Slint and Andrew Wood on there as well.

Dragonforce. Yeah, I know they weren't around in the 80s, but do you have any idea how much of a fucking crime it is that they aren't in any of these games? They are the definition of shred and while it would lead to a few lawsuits when kids' hands start bursting into flames, I am prepared to make out with each member of your development team if you make it happen. In a totally masculine way, though.

That's all I've got. What about you guys? What do you wanna see from this game? Hell, were any of you guys even alive in the 80s?


Next page: More Guitar Hero stories




GiomBee's Avatar
GiomBee at 01/14/2007 06:50
Given how hardcore Dragonforce tracks are on DDR/Stepmania, I predict a lot of accidents and broken guitars in Guitar Hero II ... but as long as they put Kiss, Whitesnake and other glam bands in the damn game, that's fine with me I guess.
wintermute's Avatar
wintermute at 01/14/2007 06:55
Steve Vai's version of "God Gave Rock n Roll to You" FTW
5lectro's Avatar
5lectro at 01/14/2007 07:27
Did the guy on the right wet himself or is my mind playing tricks on me?
blu3steel's Avatar
blu3steel at 01/14/2007 07:53
Dream Theater
thisissami's Avatar
thisissami at 01/14/2007 08:39
oh man i love the 80s!!! my fave stuff from then doesn't really have that much guitar in them though... but maybe some genesis! or yes! that would be great!!! progressive rock man! maybe led zeppelin (did they play in the 80s?) or pink floyd, or queen, or a flock of seagulls! or gentle giant! :D 80s FTW!!! :D :D :D
CannibalCalvin 's Avatar
CannibalCalvin at 01/14/2007 08:50
I spent a month and a half in the 80's, and that was too much.

The 80's sucked...

Srlsy Cold war amiright?
PKN's Avatar
PKN at 01/14/2007 09:04
I hated the 80's. I want to see a 60's-70's game.
zaqu's Avatar
zaqu at 01/14/2007 09:07
good way to take money away from people who shouldnt have it
mikethered's Avatar
mikethered at 01/14/2007 09:07
how about some fucking Metallica this time? Master of Puppets came out in 1986 and I'd be ok with any song on there. ACDC? Just because they're making an 80s game doesn't mean that the music has to be shit
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 01/14/2007 09:43
@ wintermute:

Yes! That cover is better than KISS's original.

I vote for Midnight Oil: Beds are Burning.
GiomBee's Avatar
GiomBee at 01/14/2007 09:57
Mxyzptlk : Maybe, but does Steve Vai have fireworks and ridiculous make-up and stuff like that ? I don't think so^^
thisissami's Avatar
thisissami at 01/14/2007 10:29
I hated the 80's. I want to see a 60's-70's game.

I agree with all that except for the "i hated the 80s"

i'd love to see some michael jackson in there!!! :D great bass parts (though admittedly too boring for this game)

or actually i'd love any game that involves a lot of the who!
Aetsen's Avatar
Aetsen at 01/14/2007 10:43
Hopefully it's not all shitty glam-metal and def-leopard and shit like that.
Joseph Leray's Avatar
Joseph Leray at 01/14/2007 11:08
@bluesteel - +1 to Dream Theatre.

Also - Quiet Riot - Come On Feel the Noise. Or the original, whatever.
Colette Bennett's Avatar
Colette Bennett at 01/14/2007 11:15
I heart the 80's. Best genre for Guitar Hero ever.

Def Leppard. YES.
Colette Bennett's Avatar
Colette Bennett at 01/14/2007 11:16
Also, if you look at the hair of the guys in the pic for too long, you'll go mad.
wintermute's Avatar
wintermute at 01/14/2007 11:25
@Giombee: Steve Vai is famous for wearing eyeliner on stage and as his six-finger fireworks.

@thisisami: Good call on Michael Jackson, especially Beat It, no way that song is boring especially as you shred Eddie's legendary guitar solo.
GiomBee's Avatar
GiomBee at 01/14/2007 11:47
wintermute : In that case, that's fine, nevermind what I said ;)
brad drac's Avatar
brad drac at 01/14/2007 11:51
Gots to be some overkill on there. Also some megadeth, judas priest, rush, thin lizzy, slayer, primus and faith no more. Dream theater would be good, but if conveyed accurately, you'd probably need 2 people playing petrucci's shreds at once.

Also, dragonforce suck nuts(live at least) and all those people saying 80's music is bad suck also.
Cheesyhoboe's Avatar
Cheesyhoboe at 01/14/2007 12:04
80s means METAL. If there's STILL no Metallica or Slayer this time around I think I'm going to start a riot or something.
John B's Avatar
John B at 01/14/2007 12:25
Let's see. Here are a few from the decade that housed all of my teen years...

Guns N Roses "Sweet Child of Mine" -- that definitive, opening guitar riff alone makes it one for the game.

Quiet Riot - "Cum on feel the noise"

Queen - "Stone Cold Crazy" (Okay, that's 1974 but it still rocks)

There are others, of course, but these are the only ones that I can think of until I wake up...

And those who say that the 80s sucked are either clueless or taking chemical substances that they shouldn't be taking. :P Watch what you say about the 80s or I'll tie you to a f**king chair and make you listen to Dexy's Midnight Runner's "Come on Eileen" 24 hours a day. You'll be begging for mercy before the first play is done.
mikethered's Avatar
mikethered at 01/14/2007 12:33
psst... sweet child of mine is in guitar hero 2.

ding, try again
rcf1105's Avatar
rcf1105 at 01/14/2007 12:36
Eh, I want to see the playlist first. The less hair metal, the better.
Joseph Leray's Avatar
Joseph Leray at 01/14/2007 12:38
How about some Jethro Tull? Aqualung ftw.
John B's Avatar
John B at 01/14/2007 12:45
"psst... sweet child of mine is in guitar hero 2."

Well, Guitar Hero has been one of the main reasons why I've wanted to get a PS2. Shows that I don't have one. ;)

My comments on whomever busts on the 80s still stands. >:)
rdaneel72's Avatar
rdaneel72 at 01/14/2007 12:58
The 80s were the Golden Age of Metal. But not because of poser bands like Crue and Ratt and Poison. NO CHICK METAL!!!!!

Maiden
Metallica
Megadeth
Anthrax
Slayer
Testament
Overkill
Exodus
Suicidal
Nuclear Assault
Death Angel
Morbid Angel
Venom
Motorhead
Ozzy and Randy

How about some Merciful Fate?

There's your playlist right there. Now get the licensing!
Magesx's Avatar
Magesx at 01/14/2007 13:06
For God's sake, RO, please get some Steve Vai in this thing.
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 01/14/2007 13:19
Isn't Guitar Hero a lot of '80s anyway? Regardless, this makes me happy.
The Mental Challenger's Avatar
The Mental Challenger at 01/14/2007 13:48
Bathory
Blind Guardian
Danzig

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

I think they need to come to me to license Guitar Hero: Mentally Challenging Edition and I'll give them an awesome line-up.
Aaron Linde's Avatar
Aaron Linde at 01/14/2007 14:21
I just want an All Iron Maiden/Slayer/Judas Priest/Queen kind of deal. One full album -- that'd make for around 40 songs each, yeah? And it'd rock harder than everything ever before EVER.
Aaron Linde's Avatar
Aaron Linde at 01/14/2007 14:22
Er, one full album each, making for 40 songs total.
JuanClaudius's Avatar
JuanClaudius at 01/14/2007 15:32
I wonder if they'd have the guts to put Swans on there. Half the audience would be pissed off at how easy it is, the other half would be freaked the fuck out that such music had ever been made.
Wedge's Avatar
Wedge at 01/14/2007 15:38
I tend to hate (playing) most metal songs in the game, and thus, have little interest an 80's edition short of mebee som AC/DC. Doing repetitious fast riffs wears me out, and I can never keep combos on them. I want 70's rock =/
djomg's Avatar
djomg at 01/14/2007 16:15
They Might be Giants
Talking Heads
Anything/everything from AC/DC
Quiet Riot fer sur.
Kings X (didn't really get popular until the 90's tho. actually didn't really get popular.)
Van Halen 1984 (any song)
The Replacements
The Smiths
REM maybe?
Scorpions
Judas Priest
Ratt
more Crüe
Twisted Sister
Devo
The B-52's
Mr. Bungle
Ohio Players
Bootsy Collins
Cinderella

But, I agree: Keep Kip Winger and his shockingly white teeth out of the game!
Mxyzptlk's Avatar
Mxyzptlk at 01/15/2007 02:20
@djomg:

I like your list. I'd throw in Echo & the Bunnymen & Blue Oyster Cult too.
tehuberone's Avatar
tehuberone at 01/16/2007 01:46
drools...
Ninjajuice66's Avatar
Ninjajuice66 at 01/20/2007 14:06
Only REAL metal from the eighties, please. None of this whitesnake, Van Halen pussy cvrap.
Ninjajuice66's Avatar
Ninjajuice66 at 01/20/2007 14:06
*crap
grendeltheone's Avatar
grendeltheone at 05/03/2007 19:30
What has nine arms and sucks - Def Leppard And if love bites and love bleeds love needs to be less toothy.

seriously there are alot of good 80's rock artists listed above especially by djomg and Bon Jovi needs on too.
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