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I still can't believe this is coming out. What the hell, EA? Who the f*ck are these people? It's one thing to have celebrities guest star in FaceBreaker, but this? At least I can punch the sh*t out of people like Kim Kardashian in FaceBreaker. I'd rather donkey punch her, but beggars can't be choosers.

Who are these people? Paul Pierce? Kristi Yamaguchi? Keith Urban? The only people I recognize are Nelly Furtado and Fergie. I actually like Nelly Furtado's music and as far as Fergie goes, they modeled her all wrong. She is one fugly ass b*tch in real life. She actually looks f*ckable in these screens, unlike her real self. Josh Duhamel needs to dump her ass. What? He's hot. If I was a chick, I'd let him do me. Plus, the c*nt can't hold her piss, so she's definitely a horrible choice to play sports. 

Funny thing is, I know this game was at the EA Showcase, but my brain didn't register it. Every time I walked past it, my brain was like "naw, bitch, this s**t ain't gonna register with yo eyes," so my brain just has a black screen in place of what I should have seen every time I try and go remember it. Also, my brain is totally gangsta, apparently. 

This post was totally inspired by, and is nowhere near as awesome as, WWTDD.

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Hamza Aziz, Destructoid's Community Director, has been here since day one. He was born when a tiger coughed up a hairball into a pool of ooze. He was one of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before budget cuts. Hamza works as a previews editor and manages a team in San Francisco. To date he has given away tens of thousands of dollars in prizes to readers. What a dick. Actually, Hamza is as kind as he is hairy. Likes Super Mario RPG, Halo, iPhone, Videogame cover bands, Super Nintendo Meet the rest of the team



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25 comments | showing # 1 to 25
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Cartman's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:00
Cartman
Um, Keith Urban is a country singer. Thats all.
Amaru's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:06
Amaru
You don't know who Paul Peirce is? Not a fan of sports, eh?
Uziwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:06
Uziwood
Fergie is hawt man!
CALkulon's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:07
CALkulon
Best article ever?

Thanks Hamza, best laugh I've had all day.
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:09
CelicaCrazed
Paul Pierce is part of the NBA Champions Celtics. Yamaguichi is a world class figure skater. They're actually pretty famous >.>
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:12
Justice
Did anyone actually expect otherwise?
made of spam's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:13
made of spam
Anyone who buys this game is a communist.
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:22
Cheeburga
I love you.
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:23
Aaron Mxy Yost
Hamza's brain is straight up ballin'. Isn't Keith Urban the country singer who's banging Nicole Kidman?
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:39
mix
Awesome!

I hope you do a full review on this game!
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:39
king3vbo
I want to fuck your brains out
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 16:41
PappaDukes
I'm buying this game! *Runs to gamestop to pre-order*/*slashes wrists*/*Buys keith urban CD*
kevkevblazini's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 17:01
kevkevblazini
Is this assessment based on actual playtime with the game?? Or is it based solely on the fact the game is based around various X-list celebrities??? Just wondering...

Also Uziwood...Fergie is only hot if you are looking to paper bag the head before you tapped it.Great "assets", fobugly face.To each his own, though.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 17:05
Darren Nakamura
Damn, I was really hoping for an in-depth hands-on with how awful it is.
mikeyed's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 17:09
mikeyed
They're like weird anorexic midgets with absolutely no self esteem who've had way too much plastic surgery.
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 17:09
Brian Szabelski
I want to destroy this game.
van's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 17:42
van
cunt.
Chocobo Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 17:44
Chocobo Knight
...Why does this exist?
pizzaface's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 19:13
pizzaface
Fergie sings "Big Girls Don't Cryyyyy"

IT'S IRONIC BECAUSE BIG GIRLS ALSO DON'T PEE THEIR PANTS
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 20:38
MechaMonkey
Why would I want to play sports with these people?
jamo's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 21:01
jamo
Well Fergie is hot.I have seen her live.Nelly Furtado is one ugly man faced bitch.
carrma's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 21:24
carrma
I can honestly say I don't recognize any of those people by the avatars... was one of them Connie Chung?
GohanGVO's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 23:05
GohanGVO
ATTN: EA

You are doing it wrong.
The Unforgivable's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/18/2008 23:28
The Unforgivable
highlarious!
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/19/2008 15:18
TrailerParkJesus
I've seen about three different concert pics of Fergie pissin on herself. That just ain't right.

and lol @ pizzaface
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