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Home Industry Bullshit updates

EA has enough money to hire ridiculously hot actors for crap cutscenes

12:33 AM on 03.27.2007, Anthony Burch 59 comments

     Industry Bullshit

It's more or less an accepted fact that nobody gives a damn about FMV scenes anymore, but that hasn't stopped EA from including dozens of cutscenes using live actors to introduce the missions in Command and Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars.

While the use of live actors isn't particularly surprising -- FMV cutscenes have been a mainstay in every C&C game save for Generals -- what is surprising is how...well...attractive the cast is.

Including Grace Park and Tricia Helfer from Battlestar Galactica, Jennifer Morrison from House MD (I have dibs on her, by the way),  Josh Holloway from Lost, Billy Dee Williams from How Can They Be Jamming Us If They Don't Know We're Coming, and Michael Ironside from every Splinter Cell game, the new C&C cast proves something we've all known for a very, very long time: EA has more money than God.

There's no other explanation for why these otherwise-successful actors would stoop to starring in undeniably cheesy video game cutscenes.Except for Billy Dee Williams, anyway -- it's not like he's got anything better to do. If the way he screams at the end of the trailer doesn't make you cringe so hard your face hurts, then you're probably not human.

And yes, I called Michael Ironside doable. Don't even pretend like you wouldn't hit that. 


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Niero's Avatar
Niero at 03/27/2007 00:44
sex
Quix's Avatar
Quix at 03/27/2007 00:47
Wow. Just wow. What more can be said?
Aetsen's Avatar
Aetsen at 03/27/2007 00:52
Michael Ironside makes me wet.
Namelessted's Avatar
Namelessted at 03/27/2007 00:53
I am totally ok with that. They are getting REAL actors, something that needs to be done. So many games have shitty ass pathetic excused for voice acting and EA is doing it right with C&C3
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 03/27/2007 00:57
And yet, it still sounded like B movie material. I can only hope that was intentional.
cjpkiller's Avatar
cjpkiller at 03/27/2007 01:08
I think the b movie feel was intentional, its a clearly fictional game.

surprisingly I have a strong desire to get this game now

wave after wave nostalgia is hitting me...
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar
s0lesurviv0r at 03/27/2007 01:12
FMV is back, baby! Can't wait to see the trailer for the other side, maybe Michael Ironside plays both sides and the other has a metal leg and an eyepatch. I can't get enough Ironside. So when are we going to see Mad Dog McCree 3?
Creamsnake's Avatar
Creamsnake at 03/27/2007 01:12
Okay, so I really tried hard to think about having sex with Michal Ironside. I was thinking I'd have him bent over a stainless steel table. The only problem is whenever I imagine it he's taunting the shit out of me.
Burnt Meatloaf's Avatar
Burnt Meatloaf at 03/27/2007 01:41
Michael Ironside! Michael Ironside! Michael Ironside!

...

Sorry, was that out loud?
Niero's Avatar
Niero at 03/27/2007 01:44
I can't believe how cheesy that was. So cheesy!!!! That's like Sega CD-rom cheesy, I don't know how else to describe it.
Anthony Burch's Avatar
Anthony Burch at 03/27/2007 01:53
Creamsnake, his taunting is what makes him hot. Michael Ironside is so manly, he makes penises look feminine by comparison. Even when the sex is consensual, it feels like rape.

Awesome, awesome rape.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 03/27/2007 02:00
That is an outrageously doable cast.

I also could not keep a straight face, especially with Billy Dee. I'm going to cry throughout every cutscene. That, and masturbate furiously. To Michael Ironside. And Grace Park. But mostly Michael Ironside.
nea's Avatar
nea at 03/27/2007 02:12
This is a B-Movie Story with the exact right people to play such a cheesy alieninvadingtiberiumbrotherhood Story!

The main reason I buy that game are those Cutscenes! The game itself is nothing special, just plain cc rts. I love that, but what makes it fun is the storyline presented by some cool oldskool B-Stars!
William Haley's Avatar
William Haley at 03/27/2007 02:25
Jesus... some of these actors are a bit young to be throwing in the towel like that, aren't they? I'm reminded of the scene from Family Guy where Brian is auditioning for a commercial...

Toucan Sam: H-how would you do it?

Brian: Oh I don't know, I was thinking like... good. Like an actor.
DeusPayne's Avatar
DeusPayne at 03/27/2007 02:37
As much as it pains me to say it, EA is doing the industry good with this. Movie and TV actors tend to have a way with the general public. So, their indulgence of the video game industry may legitimize the gaming industry for some nay-sayers. Hopefully HD graphics, 'real' actors, and engaging story lines will push this entertainment medium to new heights.
KraazyCraig's Avatar
KraazyCraig at 03/27/2007 02:44
That reminded me of the cutscenes in NFS Carbon... so 90s, so cheesy, so awesome!
Keep up the good work EA. Good to see the million dollar budgets put to good use
AndyCat's Avatar
AndyCat at 03/27/2007 02:47
Holy overacting, Blackman!

BFeld13's Avatar
BFeld13 at 03/27/2007 04:05
Billy Dee Williams!!!
nademagnet's Avatar
nademagnet at 03/27/2007 04:47
it HAS to be cheesy. Haven't you guys seen any of the FMVs from the previous C&C games? OMFG! Those over-the-top cut scenes are a part of what made these games great.
Ndizi's Avatar
Ndizi at 03/27/2007 04:53
The only reason I hve plenty of love to go around for EA is because they do the FMV clips. I even bought the whole Command and the conquer the first decade just because of the FMV clips.
Aequitas's Avatar
Aequitas at 03/27/2007 05:06
Rev: Just so you know, I would stab you in the face and kill everyone in your city for Jennifer Morrison, dibs or not. You have been warned.
some_dude's Avatar
some_dude at 03/27/2007 06:14
I think Billy Dee had a few too many Colt 45's before he filmed his scenes, that was painful to watch. Other than Billy, I think the cut-scenes are kinda cool, defiantly cheesy, but cool.

@creamsnake: Puleeze, Ironside is a pitcher, not a catcher, better lube up before you get wit dat. He'll split ya wiiiiide open. (Cripes, did I fall asleep at Destrutoid and wake up at GayGamer?)
Danzuke's Avatar
Danzuke at 03/27/2007 06:36
Niero:

Like Sewer Shark cheesy?
tonymas13's Avatar
tonymas13 at 03/27/2007 06:37
@Ndizi

"I even bought the whole Command and the conquer the first decade just because of the FMV clips."

Well let's not forget that westwood started the madness, and EA actually took it away in Generals. The fanbase went apeshit because of it too. I recently played Red Alert 2, with the FMV sequences. Not too long before that I played through the Allied campaign without FMV sequences (some pirated version that was stripped down.) The difference was huge, as cheesy as they were it added a sense of depth to the game that was missing before. When I played it without the FMV sequences I wasn't as interested in playing the "next mission." I would play one or two missions and the game would sit for a week or two. The FMV sequences got me involved more, I ended up playing the campaign all the way through in two days. It's not exactly scientific. I guess what I'm saying is I'm glad there around, and I still miss Westwood badly.
Ndizi's Avatar
Ndizi at 03/27/2007 06:57
Yeah of course. I was more thinking of the Need for speed games when I was talking about the FMV things. As far as I know EA is the only one doing the FMV thing today or maybe I should rephrase it to the only major games-whatever doing it as opposed to back in the westwood days when every single games company was doing it. Doesn't make Kane less awesome though.

I can understand why many people was getting bummed when EA took over westwood and with generals nonetheless. Luckily I wasn't a fan of C&C at the time so why should I care? For all I know EA could've been the savior bringing sexy back while Louis Castle himself was occupied in the middle of a mustard party back in 2003.

But yeah definatly. I was playing the first game, I kind of hated it a bit towards the end but the FMV clips kept me going. Didn't bother with the Covert operations because of the lack of Kane. Speaking of that I need to play those secret dino missions at some point.
JamesSorensen's Avatar
JamesSorensen at 03/27/2007 07:16
i still enjoy cutscenes whether it be game engine, live action, or prerendered... but ya was playing cc3 last night and in the game the GDI girl came up, i was like "Hey girls, whats up?"
Van the Nasty's Avatar
Van the Nasty at 03/27/2007 07:28
Wow Billy D is really shooting for an Oscar in that one....anyone tell him its just a video game
BlindsideDork's Avatar
BlindsideDork at 03/27/2007 07:33
No..I wouldn't hit Ironside!
chadandjody's Avatar
chadandjody at 03/27/2007 07:54
@Kannon: Is that a hot chick or Michael Jackson?
FiXXXerX's Avatar
FiXXXerX at 03/27/2007 07:56
<i>"Billy Dee Williams from How Can They Be Jamming Us If They Don't Know We're Coming"</I>

.... I chuckled
Mrs_Violence's Avatar
Mrs_Violence at 03/27/2007 07:58
haha i played red alert.thats tonya. lmfao!!! thats what i was thinking about when i read the title. but i didn't expect them to be like famous actors..thats funny..where is josh hollwell.i didn't see him at all.
scottus's Avatar
scottus at 03/27/2007 08:11
They must have spent hundreds, literally hundreds to get billy dee williams on the project.

The huge budget for FMV actors must be the reason they had to borrow those costumes from the "sci-fi original movies" wardrobe department.
parrothead's Avatar
parrothead at 03/27/2007 08:25
I have had dibs on Jennifer Morrison since I saw her in Grind
Antimat3r's Avatar
Antimat3r at 03/27/2007 08:37
ahahah Kannon ~ awesome photostich!

Though the demo made the game seem very promising, it also had the cheesy overacting (to use Niero's term) and all the hotties that accompany it.

All in all, I'll take hotties over bad overacting any day. Just turn off the volume and enjoy the show. When the action starts, turn up the volume for maximum carnage!
PetiePalo's Avatar
PetiePalo at 03/27/2007 08:41
Don't you worry! Han'll have that shield generator down. Or this will be the shortest offensive ever.
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 03/27/2007 08:51
yeah C&C red alert 2 had some of the best cutscenes ever filmed
BahamutZero's Avatar
BahamutZero at 03/27/2007 08:51
so uh, is the game any good?
Anthony Burch's Avatar
Anthony Burch at 03/27/2007 10:30
Aequitas:
TRY IT.

Summa:
Kari Wuhrer and two nameless EVA chicks < The entire cast of Battlestar Galactica
Anthony Burch's Avatar
Anthony Burch at 03/27/2007 10:35
Er, Kannon. You all look the same to me.
Detry's Avatar
Detry at 03/27/2007 10:47
Cheesalicious.

I half expected it to turn into a porn flick.

You've seen those porn movies, the ones with a plot.
Rockvillian's Avatar
Rockvillian at 03/27/2007 11:03
Oh man, anyone remember Captain Power??? I hope to god this really means FMVs are coming back. I miss the cheese. So much. Almost as much as I miss the over-abundancy of Laser Tag places.
KyleGamgee's Avatar
KyleGamgee at 03/27/2007 11:43
I love you all. This has been a fun line of comments.

You can each have Jennifer Morrison first, but I want my chance. Maybe then she can actually enjoy some satisfaction.
John Martone's Avatar
John Martone at 03/27/2007 12:29
They still can't top James Earl Jones from the earlier C&C games. How I love me some James Earl Jones.
John Martone's Avatar
John Martone at 03/27/2007 12:29
They still can't top James Earl Jones from the earlier C&C games. How I love me some James Earl Jones.
Maclintok's Avatar
Maclintok at 03/27/2007 13:49
How'd they manage to make Grace Park look crappy?

Oh, and dibs on Billy Dee...
jeffstart's Avatar
jeffstart at 03/27/2007 13:57
That's some of the lamest shit I've ever seen in any videogame ever. Good goin' EA; ya buncha d-bags.
Lezbro's Avatar
Lezbro at 03/27/2007 14:47
>> EA has enough money to hire ridiculously hot actors for crap cutscenes

Not quite.

Yes, EA has a shitload of money.

No, hot actors for crap cutscenese do not cost a lot of money.

EA is in LA and hot "actors" are a dime a dozen. Literally. You can go into Costco and buy them in bulk.

They're like phone books. When you come home from work at the end of the day, they're sitting in your driveway wrapped in plastic. You just stack them by the door and recycle them every Thursday.
Lezbro's Avatar
Lezbro at 03/27/2007 14:52
The best part was watching Billy Dee Williams trip on the name of his character while reading the cue card.

I also like how Williams was channeling Shatner and Tony Curtis in his spastic over-acting (nice swinging lightbulb, by the way).

Also, how is it that Michael Ironside (Michael Ironside is obviously not this guy's real name, right? What is it? Josiah Lipstein?) has been doing these low rent gigs for what... four decades and he STILL hasn't amassed enough wealth or influence to move up to something a little higher profile.
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