Quantcast
E3: Skyrim will make you feel as powerful as God's cock - Destructoid




Game database:   #ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ         ALL     Xbox One     PS4     360     PS3     WiiU     Wii     PC     3DS     DS     PS Vita     PSP     iOS     Android


E3: Skyrim will make you feel as powerful as God's cock


9:25 AM on 06.08.2011
E3: Skyrim will make you feel as powerful as God's cock photo



The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is one of the most talked about games on the E3 show floor, and with good reason -- it's f*cking ridiculous!

The demonstration's first example of combat features a wolf getting KICKED IN ITS STUPID WOLF FACE! That's the opening gambit, and it only gets better from there. Finishing moves are just part of a completely overhauled combat system in which you STAB GOBLINS IN THE BACK AND SKEWER ELVES THROUGH THEIR DUMB NECKS! 

The Plasmid-like magic system is absurd as well. Maybe you'd like to dual-wield a Detect Life and Frenzy spell SO YOU CAN SEE TWO IDIOTS THAT ARE A MILE AWAY AND THEN MAKE THEM GO BERSERK AND FIGHT EACH OTHER AND THEN YOU JUST STROLL UP LIKE A TOTAL PIMP AND FINISH THE PRICK LEFT STANDING!

Oh, and let's talk about dragons ... AWWWW YEAH, RANDOM DRAGONS, FOOL, THAT CAN BREATHE FIRE OR ICE OR WHATEVER AND YOU MIGHT RUN AWAY FROM ONE AND DO A QUEST IN A DUNGEON AND COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE BUT .... DAAAAAAMN, SON, THAT DRAGON WAS LOOKING FOR YOU AND IT FOUND YOU!

AND THERE ARE GIANTS HERDING MAMMOTHS, AND YOU CAN CLIMB UP A MOUNTAIN, AND YOU CAN CHANGE THE ENTIRE GAME'S WEATHER AND MAKE A STORM ATTACK A MONSTER, AND FOR GOD'S SAKE A GIANT SPIDER IS IN IT AND A DRAGON PRIEST WHATEVER THAT IS AND OH GOD THIS GAME IS GRRRRRNNNGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAARRRGGGHH!






Comments not appearing? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this.
Easy fix: Add   [*].disqus.com   to your software's white list. Tada! Happy comments time again.

Did you know? You can now get daily or weekly email notifications when humans reply to your comments.



Review: The Evil Within photo
Review: The Evil Within
5:30 PM on 10.15.2014






Role-Playing Games

12:15 PM on 10.24.2014
Treat for Sony fans: PlayStation gets temporary Costume Quest 2 exclusivity

This ain't no trick -- things are lookin' pretty sweet for PlayStation owners that want to do battle with some Grubbins just in time for Halloween. Sony's announced that it has a temporary console exclusive for Costume ...more



12:00 PM on 10.24.2014
The Witcher 3 intro cinematic: Yep, still want this

Eye-boring crow! Eye-boring crow!  Gameplay, of course.more



11:30 AM on 10.24.2014
Review: Fantasy Life

One of the biggest gripes I hear from friends interested in but hesitant to play Japanese role-playing games is that they're too "complicated." It's a sentiment I've never understood; several take great pains to be accessible...more



View all Role-Playing Games






Back to Top




All content is yours to recycle through our Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing requiring attribution. Our communities are obsessed with videoGames, movies, anime, and toys.

Living the dream since March 16, 2006

Advertising on destructoid is available: Please contact them to learn more