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E3 2008: Can't we all just get along? photo

Following Nintendo's underwhelming dog and pony show at E3, a whole slew of folks happily jumped on the Nintendo bashing bandwagon. Which really was the only appropriate response. Perhaps not bashing per se, but lambasting, rebuking, chastising, criticizing, and other words that end in "ing" and mean calling someone out for epic failure most definitely. Considering Nintendo's been in business for over 100 years now they should know better than to expect warm fuzzies and lengthy litanies on how just how gosh-darn proud everyone is of the effort they put forth in disappointing the everliving crap out of their fans.

Naturally that spawned a backlash of its own. A chorus of kinder souls calling foul on those among the gaming community that had the sheer audacity to say anything about Nintendo's display other than "Man, Miyamoto simulates clumsy oral sex flute-playing so good!" Which, in all fairness, would actually have been kind of true.

According to anyone not utterly dismayed by Nintendo's brief window into a mediocre, suburban nightmare, we are "haters". Nothing more than a pack of disloyal, fair-weather fanboys that hopped on the hate bandwagon the second the blood hit the water. I'm big enough to admit that there are those among us that are exactly as I've described; people that criticized Nintendo for criticism's sake alone. But that doesn't mean that anyone expressing disappointment is traitorous, and confusing that fact is dangerous.

The problem here is the brand loyalty that inspires that kind of reaction. Brand loyalty is a concept that I've never fully understood and has always just seemed ridiculous at best. Just because you've really enjoyed something a company produced previously -- lauding them for their achievements and innovation throughout the years -- doesn't mean you're obligated to like what they produce later. And it definitely doesn't mean you're precluded from calling them out if they go from producing "good" products to producing "bad" products.

This isn't a war being fought for higher ideals, it's three companies making electronics that (for most of us) are supposed to provide you with an experience that's as far removed as possible from the constant aggravation every day life. Currently, Nintendo isn't doing that, so they aren't getting my money and that's that. But some people feel the need to vocalize their frustration at the failings of an organization they've held dear for years, and they're well within their rights to do so. The mere request to remain tight-lipped over their disappointment in a company that used to be on top of the industry is fanboyism bordering on insanity.

Granted, the same could be said for the reverse. If you've gotten so worked up that you boycott Nintendo over them showing up to E3 with their WiiDick in their hands and a smile instead of something amazing you're similarly psychotic. But you're not necessarily to blame.

The whole environment of fanatical brand loyalty is encouraged by the "Big Three". They want us to fight amongst ourselves, because it means you'll keep buying their products regardless of the actual quality of what they're producing. I'd say that these companies don't care in the least about whoever's buying their products, but that's not totally true. They care just long enough to separate you from your money. Like a prostitute in a business suit grinning up at you with all manner of bad intentions and a piece of complicated plastic in their grip that's about to ruin your day.

And the only thing standing in the way of you and the great white sullying are the two others waiting in the wings that want to screw you just as bad as the first -- they've just got nicer equipment. Unfortunately, the battle for highest market share in the games industry only results in one casualty, gamers as a whole. Rather than duke it out themselves, they let us do the dirty work by instilling a sense of singular loyalty when it comes to what you game on. By creating this schism within a community that came together because of a shared interest game companies have insured their continued survival with a fanbase that would put the most zealous Jihadists to shame.

It's a matter of perspective. Of realizing that by being "loyal" you're just missing out on the fun that we Benedict Arnolds are having. In all fairness, my own perspective could be skewed by dint of a largely video game-less childhood and the undernourished sense of system allegiance that results from such a thing. Brand apathy is great! It's incredibly freeing to realize that just because Company N sucks at what they're renowned for usually doing well doesn't mean that Company M's awesome stuff is any less fun. And hey, Company N could get its act together, right?

I'm not recommending we all gather 'round the camp fire for Kumbaya and hugs. I totally have the desire to kick each and every one of your asses over your favored online multiplayer network -- which, of course, will never happen thanks to my chronic Stupidfingeritis. That's part of what we're all about as gamers. Competition is healthy and should be fostered. It inspires innovation and creativity, even if it's just to figure out a slick way to screw over everyone else. The problem arises when we mistake allegiance for competition; when we forget that the battle for supremacy between Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo is their battle alone. We're just responsible for reaping the benefits of their fight, not painting ourselves with the colors of whomever we've decided to ally with and jumping into the fray.

So let's all take a deep breath, relax, shut the fuck up, and just play games.

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31 comments | showing # 1 to 31

SpunkyLoveChild's Avatar
SpunkyLoveChild at 07/29/2008 16:01
Kudos. This needed to be said.
aaronf's Avatar
aaronf at 07/29/2008 16:04
Nintendo's keynote was indeed an epic fail, but I don't feel the need to sit around and whine about it all day.
kalidanthepalidan's Avatar
kalidanthepalidan at 07/29/2008 16:13
Well said.
Infinitestrike's Avatar
Infinitestrike at 07/29/2008 16:14
I agree with this 100%.
MaximusPaynicus's Avatar
MaximusPaynicus at 07/29/2008 16:24
Here, here. Though, I do have one minor complaint/clarification: From what I read, most of the truly bitter, angry bile was directed more towards Cammy "I brokeded my wrist trying to snowboard" Dunaway than at the company itself. I've been just as vocal in my general distaste for that woman, but most have gone well beyond the limits of professional critique and straight into the area of personal attacks which, frankly, are unwarranted.

As for Nintendo itself -- I refuse to buy a Wii. Partially because I can't find one and Nintendo seemingly doesn't consider increasing unit production to be a high priority. Partially because I tried their cute little gimmick some twenty years ago with the Power Glove. Mostly, though, it's because of their oversaturation of the market with their mascot characters, specifically Mario. That doesn't mean I wouldn't play Galaxy (if I could find a Wii), but it does take away from the experience knowing that for every one decent Mario game, there are at least four pieces of trash with his face slapped on it.
Fat Beezus's Avatar
Fat Beezus at 07/29/2008 16:28
It seems there is a glimmer of reason in the retard rodeo known is as the internet.
KMCC's Avatar
KMCC at 07/29/2008 16:34
Whichever side is taken, I do think this issue is starting to get a little blown out of proportion.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar
EternalDeathSlayer at 07/29/2008 16:34
@ MaximusPaynicus: That equation is a bit off. Even the endless Mario Party games are well designed and accomplish exactly what they're meant to.

SMG is the best 3D platformer I've ever played, and it's for that reason alone I'm glad I own a Wii. I don't care what shit they release, just so long as I get another Mario title down the fucking road at some point. Mario platformers are the selling point of Nintendo's consoles, at least for me.

Anyway, fulton said what needed to be said. STFUAJPG. I love it.
king3vbo's Avatar
king3vbo at 07/29/2008 16:38
I sold my Wii for a reason. E3.
RawwrBag's Avatar
RawwrBag at 07/29/2008 16:39
True dat.
pedrovay2003's Avatar
pedrovay2003 at 07/29/2008 16:41
I have such a big smile on my face after reading this. You are now one of my favorite editors, Sir.

@Maximus Paynicus

Seriously, don't compare the Wii to the Power Glove. That thing was an abomination.
killsmooth's Avatar
killsmooth at 07/29/2008 16:47
Extremely well-written. Verbose in parts, but an excellent read overall. Indeed lets just shut the fuck up and play games.
ajay42's Avatar
ajay42 at 07/29/2008 16:56
There is another possibility that doesn't really get voiced: believe it or not there may be gamers out there (actually, there are, take my word for it, they just tend not to frequent the hardkorez sites) who are not soccer moms or retirees or little children but that do not find the latest testosterone filled action game or shooter even the slightest bit appealing and find quirky unique titles like those that have been popping up with a fairly under-appreciated frequency on the Wii, much more exciting. Nintendo's conference did seem remarkably lackluster but i have to admit that watching the sword fighting with the new peripheral was one of the most enticing things I saw in all 3 presentations.
And that there is also the rub: what in the name of god are we all doing watching industry marketing conferences? Its downright bizarre and feeds into the exact kind of mentality that Mr. Fulton was originally addressing and which I agree is a ridiculous situation.
chuckles's Avatar
chuckles at 07/29/2008 17:00
I completely agree. It is because of events like E3 that gamers end up acting like haters and loyalists. They encourage us to act just like idiots because company A gots this game, and company B is planning to do this, and company C is being a douchebag. Who gives a f***? I just want to play my games thank you very much, and E3 makes me excited about what is to come, that's it. I don't care about this war of words. And I have a feeling that you won't be bitching to me this much until E3 next year.
Charedj's Avatar
Charedj at 07/29/2008 17:02
Good one Fulton. How dare you bring a level head into a fanboy debate? So what if you completly right. Kudos on that by the way. But I'm sorry, I have to push the rabbid fanboys back into the fray.

Fuck Nintendo.
Fuck Microsoft.
Fuck Sony.

And....Go!
MisterMingo's Avatar
MisterMingo at 07/29/2008 17:05
@king3vbo: You want a gold star? If you were really smart you'd have gotten the hint after E3 '07 and sold it then.
Blind assassin's Avatar
Blind assassin at 07/29/2008 17:10
I don't think this article was that well written. Nintendo did fuck E3 up bad enough for the company president to apologise for it and ongoing complaints about it are getting quite annoying at this point but it really only takes two or three paragraphs to say that. Everyone already knows that fanboys and haters alike are blind idiots and legitimate criticism is necessary in any field. Why go at such extensive length to cover three points that I just covered in two sentences?
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar
EternalDeathSlayer at 07/29/2008 17:13
Sold your Wii? Must of been broke then, cause that's pretty foolish. You'll regret it when a new Zelda or Mario game comes out.

I would never sell any of the three consoles from this generation.
MaximusPaynicus's Avatar
MaximusPaynicus at 07/29/2008 17:13
@EternalDeathSlayer
What you call well designed, I call utter garbage. All a matter of perspective, I guess.

@pedrovay2003
It's a refined version of the Power Glove on a stick. Better?
Qais Fulton's Avatar
Qais Fulton at 07/29/2008 17:28
@ajay42: I've got something along those lines cooking actually. Should be done soon.
notdryad's Avatar
notdryad at 07/29/2008 17:41
Jesus fucking christ, can we get over E3 already? All the conferences were awful. Microsoft brutally raped the dashboard, Sony played up the PS2, and Nintendo showed off their arrogance and how much money they make.

Just shut the fuck up about it and why don't you just play some good games? No, Wii games don't count.
Phantom Spaceman's Avatar
Phantom Spaceman at 07/29/2008 17:43
I think we're all missing something very important here: complaining is what this country(US) was built on. If our founding fathers hadn't complained about the British, we'd all be speaking English right now... think about it...
YONKE's Avatar
YONKE at 07/29/2008 18:00
respect +1
boxhound's Avatar
boxhound at 07/29/2008 18:09
Alittle wordy, but you hit the point dead on. And most of all, wasn't this years E3 just a big bag of shit to begin with?
The-Excel's Avatar
The-Excel at 07/29/2008 18:49
Virtual Boy.

Enough said.
Im OK's Avatar
Im OK at 07/29/2008 20:08
I agree with this pretty much completely (filled with hypocritical hate and rage though I may be a lot of the time lately).

My problem is not that people are bashing Nintendo for E3. That's fair enough and to be expected. It did suck after all, much like the rest of it. I am, however, completely and totally fed up with the fact that E3 is being used by many as simply yet another lame-ass reason to just bust out the same trite Summa-esque crap that has been repeated ad nauseam for the past couple of years now. All right, already. We get it. E3 sucked. You hate Nintendo. You think they're just a money grubby entity of pure evil. Mario and Zelda are lame. You're selling your Wii. Casual gaming is the devil. Yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah so on and so forth. We heard you the first several dozen times you said it. Give it a fucking rest already. The world is not going to end because of this. Hardcore games are not going to simply disappear off of the face of the earth, no matter what you may think.

And, with this parting shot, I'm going to take my own advice and the advice of this article and simply shut the hell up about this topic. It's futile to keep harping on it anyway, in either direction.
DynamicSheep's Avatar
DynamicSheep at 07/29/2008 21:15
smoooooth, brotha. It's certainly ok to have a preference, but if you're going to say that Nintendo's presser wasn't disappointing, then you are an uninformed consumer simply being herded along by a giant meat man to be sheered of your money.

If, instead, you refuse to "believe", you'll be keeping yourself warm while denying these wool-mongers their hearts' desire.

The choice is a simple one... don't go cold for waggle's sake.
newsguy777's Avatar
newsguy777 at 07/29/2008 21:29
Dude. Seriously. I went to e3 for my paper and ... well I don't want to repeat what you just said, but I agree completely.
Sharpless's Avatar
Sharpless at 07/29/2008 23:36
So... can I keep hating Nintendo?
Cletus the Fetus's Avatar
Cletus the Fetus at 07/30/2008 00:55
By now I've mostly gotten over my initial ex-nintendo-fanboy rage at their E3 Conference (though I haven't started liking them again). Hopefully Leipzig and TGS won't bring back the hate. I have a good feeling that they won't, though.
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 07/30/2008 02:37
BRAAHH NINTENDO BRAAHHHH
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