I just got out of the Microsoft Press Conference and, boy, are my arms tired.

All I got was this lousy t-shirt?

No? Dag, people, what do you want from me? It’s been a long day!

In only one night it is already certain that this E3 is going to be very different from years past. Riding from one random place to the next in shuttle busses full of fellow chatty nerds is a very foreign experience when compared to the giant, centralized convention center from days of yore.

It came as a nice surprise, then, to show up at the Santa Monica High School (um, yeah) and see it completely decked out in green lights and over the top bombast. Yay, I thought to myself, this is the E3 that we all remember! High-def plasma screens! Loud music! Spectacle!

The Destructoid gang and I were front and cent … well, front and side for the big Microsoft event that kicked off this new and (hopefully) improved E3. How was the show? Was it full of any shocking revelations? Or was it more of the same?

Hit the jump for my impressions (as well as minute by minute commentary) and check the below gallery for some fancy Linde-style pictures.

Overall, the conference was a pleasantly mixed bag.

On the one hand, the presentation was great and entertaining from start to finish. Besides the fact that everyone was forced to sit on awkward Microsoft cushions (the conference was in a stone auditorium) that didn’t hold up their comfort level after an hour and a half, the show was paced well and offered a little bit of everything.

On the other hand, what was presented didn’t feel all that new. Sure, there was some interesting (if not that exciting) new information to be had (Scene It! on Xbox Live Arcade, Disney movie downloads), but everything else was just elaborations on stuff we already knew about.

Mass Effect and Assassin’s Creed and Halo 3 and Project Gotham Racing 4 and Resident Evil 5 and Grand Theft Auto 4 all looked fantastic, but we knew about these games months, almost years, in advance. Where were all the big bombshells (and, no, Viva Piñata: Party Animals does not count)?

Regardless of the lack of shocking new info, the conference was well put together, very entertaining, and really made me feel a surprising maturity from Microsoft. For the first time maybe ever I really saw Microsoft as a competitor in gaming, not just technology and bells and whistles.

If I had to grade it on a scale of 1 to 10 I would give it a … hmmm … 7. Solid show, but lacking in innovation.

Since this was originally going to be a live post (don’t ask – I am cursing the Internet gods), I took streaming notes as the events were happening on stage. To get a more detailed idea of what all went down, take a look below for a minute by minute commentary of the entire event.

Enjoy.

8:33 - Lights fade down. Live band comes out and starts playing the theme to Halo. A kickass girl playing the violin is leading the fray. A violin! Images of Halo 3 play in the background on the giant screen.

8:37 - Peter Moore comes out to thunderous applause. 11 more weeks until Halo 3! Woo hoo! Fanboys go nuts! Woo hoo! Every game shown at this conference will be coming this year.

8:38 – Moore claims it is the best lineup of the year on all consoles.

8:39 – Harmonix comes out and plays Rock Band. Awesome! The crowd goes wild.

The game looks great – nice, realistic graphics. No joke, it is like they are a real rock band. I just took off my panties and threw them on stage. Peter Moore is playing guitar. WTF! Rock on! The Hives. Main Offender. Peter Moore is playing the guitar and is officially the whitest person alive. And I love it.

8:42 – Moore accidentally pauses the game right before the big finish. Hilarious.

8:43 – Viva Piñata comes on and the animals do a parody of red carpet antics. Weird. Their new game looks like Mario Party with the Viva Piñata characters. It is called Viva Piñata: Party Animals. Based on the T.V. series with 50 mini-games. Pass.

8:44 – Mass Effect. Exclusive (of course!). Footage is shown.

The game is gorgeous, to say the least. The voice acting is amazing, Very cinematic. It is like watching a movie. Awesome, awesome, awesome. Officially coming out in November! Yay!

8:46 – This year, more people will spend more money on games than music.

Surprisingly interesting section of graphs and charts. More units sold than any other consoles (in the U.S.). The rate of growth is clearly in the lead. 2/3 of all 3rd party games are on the Xbox 360. Woo hoo? No 3rd party games have cracked the top ten on any other system. Impressive? Half of consumer spending is on the Xbox 360.

Top 5 bestsellers of the last 5 years. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Grand Theft Auto III. Halo 2. Halo.

Grand Theft Auto, Madden, Halo are all coming out for the holiday. This holiday will be unlike anything that has come before it.

8:51 – Games coming out this year: PGR4, Dynasty Warriors Gundam (what?), Call of Duty 4, Stranglehold, Guitar Hero III, Beautiful Katamari, Lost Odyssey, NBA Live 08, Mass Effect, Fatal Inertia, Medal of Honor: Airborne, Tiger Woods 08, Ace Combat 6, NHL 08, Assassin’s Creed, The Simpsons Game, Splinter Cell: Conviction, NASCAR 08, Eternal Sonata, Bioshock, Madden 08, Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground, Crash of the Titans, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Orange Box, Bee Movie, Rock Band, NARUTO.

8:55 - Jeff Bell comes out.

Scene It! on 360! WHAAAAAT? Xbox Live Arcade. New controller! It looks just like the Wiimote – what the heck is going on? The controller looks like a remote with one big button. Please don’t have motion control, though. Okay, it doesn’t!

NARUTO exclusive – Rise of the Ninja. Completely cell-shaded. It looks pretty good, actually. Very colorful graphics. But I don’t really care about NARUTO, so …

8:59 – EA has a commitment to Xbox. All EA games that come out this year are twice as fast, twice as smooth. Meh.

Heisman trophy winner, Reggie Bush comes out! I don’t know who that is!

Preview of Madden 08. They play the game together. Well, three of them play. The teleprompter was playing along with them as well. Wow.

Okay, wait, Reggie Bush is hilarious! He should write for Dtoid!

9:02 – Largest community of sports enthusiasts. 7 million Xbox Live users. A new member every 8 seconds. 10 million by next year. I’ll hold you to that, Jeff.

9:03 – 100 games by the end of the year. Xbox Live Arcade! Bomberman Live! Sonic! Wing Commander! Feeding Frenzy 2! Track & Field! Golden Axe! Space Giraffe. Super Puzzle Fighter II. Word Puzzle. Marathon: Durandel. Poker Smash. Switchball. Tetris Splash. Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords. Nice selections!

Sonic and Golden Axe are available tonight. Jeff Bell is all full of the jokes! “Let’s give a shout-out to that Golden Axe!” Priceless.

9:07 – Xbox is leading the way in digital distribution.

Disney is bringing all of there classic hits to Xbox Live! Wow! That is pretty huge! Disney overload! Hercules! Unbreakable! Sorry, I just got excited about those two. Why do they keep showing Emperor’s New Groove?

All of these movies will be available tonight! I know what I am doing when I get home!

Marketplace is coming to Canada and Europe. August 24 Elite in Europe! Woo hoo! Jim Sterling!

9:10 – VP – Shane Kim – “Everything starts with the games."

New titles from the creator of Final Fantasy. Mass Effect. Halo 3! Forza is the #1 seller in Europe. Jim Sterling must be playing it!

PGR4 presentation. Brian Woodhouse and Craig Howard come out. They look cool. Wow, and British! Bikes in PGR4. They look pretty good! Kudos are awarded for wheelies and tricks. Cool. The water effects are nice. Very nice weather effects. The only racing game to let players share photos and video.

9:15 – The trailer for PGR4 comes on and it looks really, really good. And I don’t even like racing games! I just can’t stop looking at the snow and rain. Great addition.

9:17 – The future. Halo Wars. Banjo. Too Human. Xbox 360 is the most powerful system on the market.

A new Peter Jackson game? Halo Wars, I guess, That was confusing.

Lost Odyssey is exclusive on 360. They show a trailer for Lost Odyssey. The scope is epic. The graphics are stupendous. It really looks like a Final Fantasy game. Seriously, the graphics and battles look awesome! I have no idea what happened in the trailer, but it looked pretty. Yay Xbox 360 struggling RPGs!

9:20 – Viva Piñata on Windows! Gears of War on Windows! New content! A game editor!

Lead designer Cliffy B comes out! He is too cool for school! #1 game on Xbox 360 is Gears.

He plays with Ron on-line. 5 new chapters! New content! You get to fight against this giant creature. Wow. Looks f-in’ amazing. That boss is sick! Take out different guns and take him down! Sweet!

9:24 – Partners for Games to Windows: SEGA. Eidos. THQ.

Games to Windows is built into the Unreal Engine 3. That is great for PC gamers. Unfortunately, that’s not me.

More charts and graphs about how successful Vista and games for Vista are.

More than 60 titles will be Games for Windows this year. Crysis. Hellgate: London. World in Conflict. Nice.

9:29 – Bioshock hits next month. COD4: Modern Warfare. Takes place in modern times (no way!). Trailer for COD4 comes on. The graphics look nice – kind of like a fancier, well, Call of Duty. The modern setting is a nice change. Nothing so different to blow me away, though.

9:31 – Jason West comes on stage to talk about COD4. Aaron and I are getting uncomfortable in our seats. “Deep and hard!” LOL! Jason plays a level in a field. I change my mind a little bit. The game looks great! The camouflage looks good. Head shots! Classic! The animation is pretty great. The details are incredible. I may actually play this. Go Microsoft!

Exclusive to 360 is an online multiplayer beta.

9:37 – Splinter Cell: Conviction is coming out this year. Sam Fisher is back! Exclusive on 360.

9:38 – GTA4! Huzzah! The same trailer is shown again, but it looks great on the big screen! I am still impressed. Can’t wait to buy it! October 16. Episodic content is exclusive on 360.

9:40 – Partnering with Tokyo to release tons of games. Trying to win back Japanese gamers. Good luck, Microsoft!

9:41 – RESIDENT EVIL 5! ZOMG! Not releasing until next year, but DAMN does it look good! Wow! YAY! July 26 you can download the trailer on Xbox Live.

9:42 – Assassin’s Creed. Jade Raymond plays a sequence. The game looks absolutely amazing. The scope is unreal. You can go anywhere and do anything. Sneak around. Wow. Looks great! Just like Prince of Persia, but kind of to the next level. The lighting looks great. The battle system is a little shaky, but it seems to have potential. The guys attack one at a time, which is a little odd. Chase AI! Each chase scene is different each time! The animation seems a little strange sometimes, but it looks great! November, like all the other games.

9:49 – Comparing Star Wars to Halo. Okay? Bungie shows a short live-action film about Halo. What the heck? It is a real mini-movie! Is it Halo: The Movie? Sure looks like it. The Warthogs are there! Okay … that was weird. It was like a live-action preview for Halo 3.

September 25 will be the biggest launch in entertainment history. A new console to launch with Halo 3. Halo Special Edition Xbox 360! It is green and pretty much the same.

9:53 – Best holiday line-up EVER says Moore.

9:55 – Final Halo trailer. Man, this game is looking better and better. Can’t wait to play.

9:58 – The lights come up and everyone piles out. Good job, Microsoft. Solid show!