E3 2007: Burnout Paradise gameplay will rape your face

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7:43 PM on 07.10.2007, William Haley

48 comments | 13674 views

Behold, Burnout Paradise! Developer Criterion is a company that continually does the unthinkable: it actually makes sequels... that are good. *gasp* I know, right? We can all sit around and argue about how Burnout 3 was or wasn't the pinnacle of the series, but since I am a white belt in Tae Kwon Do, I wouldn't advise it.

Of note, the crashes seem to have gotten far more realistic, while the airborne stunts have gone all Spielberg-like (meaning they're completely ridiculous and make no sense whatsoever). I doubt aliens will appear at the end of the game and waste thirty minutes of your frickin' life for no reason at all, but with Spielberg you never can know. You never can know...

[Via Joe Burling / Filefront]

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43 comments | showing # 1 to 43

some_dude

Those physics are sick, sick I sez!

Salamande

That blue car that got pancaked near the end was basically Criterion taking a vacuum to my wallet and sucking it dry. Guaranteed purchase, if it lives up to that.

xBBx

If I didn't already wet myself before I saw this trailer, I'd probably wet myself again.

Zero Iscariot

but will it blend?

seriously though, if they can put half of that coolness into the online portion, sign me up (at least for two years until EA pulls the plug on the servers in anticipation of whatever game they want you to buy next).

Burnout is one of the few EA franchises that is still fresh year after year.

BluDesign

It's a nice visual upgrade, but the game's locations look identical. Would it kill them to build new cities?

I mean, they're asking us to buy the 5th game in a row that has the same basic layout and structure.

And I'm guessing they still don't have any licensed cars?

I'll have to wait and see, the achievements on the 360 version of Revenge were a waste of time and punishingly hard.

SpencersGifts

The only thing that would make the crashes better, would be the uninsured mexicans trying to drive away...

I kid ofcourse...

Zero Iscariot

dvd: It is free roaming, no? I can imagine driving around with my buds soing some slow motion ballet all over town. Probably will disappoint in the online aspect though, prove me wrong Criterion, PLEASE?

Zero Iscariot

Sorry about the typos, currently getting bent for the MS conference

mikeohara

I might have to buy another 360 just for this. and Zero, I hear ya there.

zardoz

Burnout is a cool series of games, but why do all car games look the same? Yes I know, there's only so much you can do with a road and a car, but it's interesting that as the graphics and mechanics of the series has improved, the locations and tracks have become so predictable.

I'm afraid I'm a jaded gamer, I haven't played or seen one game which truly looks or feels like a "next generation" of anything. Developers have been cutting and pasting it since around the early 90's.

Will still buy this though.

Tron Knotts

Looks exactly like the other ones.

Why do people re-buy the same game every year?

TheBrain

I absolutely loved Burnout 3: Takedown...then I played Burnout Revenge and was disappointed that it made you hit cars. Then I heard Burnout Dominator was coming out and that it would basically be Burnout 3-2...then I played it and realized that it was Burnout 3-2 and that I was burned out on Burnout. It was a sad realization :(...

Epitaph

Looks nice, but I won't be running to my local store just to get it. Speed, crashes and the (expected, obviously) visual upgrade. Just like... the other 3 sequels :)

jerrt

well, i liked it. [:

Tempus

There are no Burnout's after Revenge in my book. Revenge was the pinnacle of the arcadey feeling smash 'em all up gameplay. Then they took away my traffic checking. Hrmph.

J03yyz

i need to phone the police
there was just a sex crime
ON MY FACE
HAYOOOOO!

those accidents are f'n amazing

Milofo

I loved Burnout 3 as well but I didn't buy any of the Burnouts after that so this one should still feel fresh to me. The Burnout series is one of the few racing games that I like.

Altair78

Burnout Paradice FTW!!

Consider my face raped...

<And please stop thinking about rape and my avitar in the sane activity...>

Altair78

*Same activity even...

typos 4 teh winn

JohnnyGoTime

Woman Drivers: The Game

SecretOfMyst

Damn, imagine that in all of its free roam goodness... =)

jerrt

oh, and face melted. [;

rcf1105

Does it still have rubber band AI? Yes? Then I refuse to play it.

/Takes ball
//Goes home

deiga-the-semivaliant

My face has been raped.

narcosis219

Guys... tell me... is it wrong to fap to car porn? I hope I'm not wrong =(

Joe Burling

TheBrain... that was intense. I read it twice.

Zanch

Holy shitballs on a stick!

SpencersGifts

I got the accordion, where do you wan...

O wait, its a car!

Detry

BUT I EAT FROM THERE!

ran24

This is bullshit. How can you call it "Burnout Paradise" when it's the same shitty city environments from Revenge. Go back to the tropical & arcadey environments from Burnout 3.

@Detry

NOT RIGHT NOW YOU DONT

BahamutZero

rape is never funny. Unless it is.

viewtifulmom

Everyone makes such a fucking pissfest about having to hit cars in Burnout Revenge, so fucking what?

Wedge

All I can really say is...

DO A BARREL ROLL!

Tempus

People just got used to avoiding cars, thinking it was the in thing. God forbid you CHANGE something :P

This is from the same company who recently claimed they were boring it's customers to death. I for one shall drink to that.

emotaku

EA != Criteron

Promagnum

Woman Drivers: The Game

Haha...Steven Spielberg.

sushi111

Holy Fuck. This game literally blew my fucking mind.

Mxyzptlk

Love Burnout, but wasn't a fan of traffic checking in the last one.

Detry

My first xp with Burnout was with Revenge. I'm not all that into racing games but I kept hearing it was awesome, so I picked up Revenge. Loved it.

Traffic checking? Well since it was my first Burnout you can probably guess how I feel about that. KILL TEH CARS.

Burnt Meatloaf

Looks good, concept is good, but they really need to work on sound design.

Zlimness

I'm buying this. Oh fuck yes

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