E3 08: Sega's Bayonetta is a fetish freak's dream

7:29 PM on 07.16.2008   |   Dale North

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Oh. My. God. Sexy witch time. Call me.

I made my way into a meeting room to see Mad World, but Platinum Games had something else lined up first. Imagine a game where the main character is a shapely witch that wears tight black vinyl, high heels, sexy glasses, and has an ass that won't quit. Bayonetta is your fetish fantasy come true. 

When our heroine is not busy independently moving her ass cheeks, she's beating the hell out of mystical baddies with her high heels or her hair. That's right: hair. Her hair can appear through a portal from another dimension and form a foot or a fist to beat her enemies down. It sounds stupid, and probably is in concept, but it's so crazy that it works on screen. 

In fact, Bayonetta's attacks are crazy all the way around. Aside from her handheld guns, she has pistols on her ankles. In our demonstration, she did a handstand and began to flail her legs about to fire the guns on her ankles. That's my kind of girl!

Dodging incoming attacks lets her slow down time, leaving baddies open for devastating combos. And if the vinyl and glasses didn't fill your fetish quota, know that Bayonetta is also into torture devices. During battle, she can summon various torture and killing devices. The Iron Maiden wall was cool, but I really liked the huge guillotine. Heads were flying, friends.

At the end of the demonstration, our lovely witch took on a massive, screen-filling baddie. He was decked out with armor, and Bayonetta had to use all of her attacks to break this armor down before doing any serious damage. Her otherworldly hair played a major role. In a final sequence, her hair transformed into a massive dragon that demolished the boss. It sounds silly, but it was actually quite impressive in person.

This game is crazy stylish. Sega says that they aim to set the bar for stylish games with this title. So far, as far as E3 press members go, others are saying that Bayonetta reminds them of Devil May Cry. They do have a similar type of gameplay, and the action and pacing also compare, but Dante simply can't walk like that. Seriously, Bayonetta walks like she's more concerned with how her ass looks than anything else. 

Too bad we couldn't get our hands on it. In fact, it does not look like they're releasing gameplay footage. The art and short trailer we've attached will have to suffice for now. Sega will be catering to your every fetish on both the Xbox 360 and PS3 some time in 2009.