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Well kids, here it is. Weighing in at just over a minute long, the Duke Nukem Forever teaser is just as cheesy as you'd hoped it would be, and then some. As you might expect, there isn't much of anything in the way of actual gameplay footage to be seen here, but if the game has been in development for over ten years, it's bound to be incredible, right? Right?  

Of special note is the one-liner at the end of the video. I won't spoil it for you, but watch the trailer and then come join me in the comments to make fun of it, won't you?


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129 comments | showing # 51 to 100

Hitogoroshi's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:54
Hitogoroshi
LOL @ elsiluro

Teaser trailers are such a waste of time.
konchu's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:57
konchu
Ok they fanned the fires we are good for another 10 years of them not releasing Duke Nukem Forever.
Corak's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:07
Corak
Still not sure about this, I'll have to see more but something tells me I'll skip it.
ShadowXOR's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:08
ShadowXOR
I'm excited. :) What a bunch of haters.
sirjester's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:08
sirjester
maybe he'll have sex with the alien toilet....whenever he finds it.
emuscles's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:08
emuscles
looks bad, probably a joke.
LostCrichton's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:09
LostCrichton
I'm glad to see something, anything from the 3D Realms guys on DNF.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:09
Samit Sarkar
I was wholly underwhelmed...and I wasn’t expecting much to begin with. Notice how his arms are very detailed, with bulging veins and such, but his jeans look solid blue. Where are the textures? This is 2007, not 2003.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:19
Holyetheline
I really used to like the old duke nukem games a lot... the 2D one's... you know.
weedgan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:19
weedgan
I like how people only talk about the graphics.

I think mario galaxy looks like complete shit, but does that make it a bad game? Nope.

People that base games of graphics are complete tools.

And DNF isn't overhyped, I mean look how long It's taken to get this out and people jsut wanna jump on the bandwagon and talk shit about it.


Fuck all you naysayers and your judging ways, GTFO!
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:26
vexed alex
Why does this CG trailer look like a Resident Evil 2 cut scene?
fonz's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:31
fonz
Maybe in another 7 years we'll get to see some actual gameplay.
Kif 's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:31
Kif
Yay, judging games to death which aren't out only on their teaser trailers!
topgeargorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:41
topgeargorilla
actually looks ok, IMO.

I just don't care. All it does is make me remember the 2d Duke Nukam, which just make me remember Jill of the Jungle, one of those awesome platformers made by the Cliffy B Developers.
braulio09's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:45
braulio09
the badassery was incredible

until he wanted to park his bricks, that is
Redzie's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:56
Redzie
I think they were trying to run the their new engine on hardware from 8 years ago to make this trailer. That's why it took them so long.
pierrerodriguez's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 13:56
pierrerodriguez
looks like 3drealms parked their bricks all over that fucking trailer.
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:01
Shin Oni
10 years in the making an he's talking about parking bricks?

come on. I expected more. Lets continuing parking bricks on Duke Nukem Forever.
AnUUb1s's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:03
AnUUb1s
3D realms are making fun of us for ten years now,
no really im really superHappy, they have toped all
my expectations by making that logo with the burning
emerican flag after ten years, wow was realy worth
waiting
i cant wait for the next trailer to come out...
"Duken Nuken Never.....coming septmber 2028"
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:03
king3vbo
LAME LAME LAME. That was a worthless and lame trailer, and I'll tell you why... on the Failcast
Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:08
Cheeburga
HAHAH
FUCK YES.
LordRegulus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:12
LordRegulus
Wait. So when he said "Who's first?", was he referring to his enemies as alien toilets? Or are his enemies actually toilets? Or do the aliens come from a dimension where everyone looks like a toilet and the toilets look like gun-toting aliens, so he would actually be fighting against gun-toting alien toilets in the future... with... dumbbells...?



JESUS FUCK THE PAIN.
Phoenix0783's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:15
Phoenix0783
Oh Jesus and baby, YES!
SourGr8pes's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:16
SourGr8pes
Looks like it's been sitting in an alien toilet for 10 years.
DV2FOX's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:18
DV2FOX
Ummm please make this 3D Realms stop...i mean,they could use a better engine,not this..reminds me of DOOM 3...i guess 3D Realms are doin' the same as DN3D...Shitty graphics,lots of levels,boring concept
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:29
Sharpless
One moment, parking my bricks...



Okay. I'm going to side with Nex, here. It's not life-changing, but it looks awesome in a dumb sort of way. Like Gears of War, only dumber.
vishusdelishus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:34
vishusdelishus
Just had a coffee and a smoke.

Gwan park some bricks...where's my crossword?
SchickOuttaShape's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:36
SchickOuttaShape
Did anyone else think he sounds like Thurston Howell III ??
poonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:43
poonster
Duke Nukem Roids Forever
tkyy's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:46
tkyy
the video takes forever to load for me.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 14:51
MrSadistic
I remember 10 years ago, most of the people would of laughed at that toilet joke. I mean I knew I started to shed a tear at the thought of classic, tasteless Duke Nukem one-liners making a return.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 15:10
Mxyzptlk
You know everyone's going to buy this just for a chance to piss all over it.
NyghtcrawleR's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 15:28
NyghtcrawleR
If everyone buys it I dont think 3d realms will care how the people feel.

Plus who cares, its duke nukem 1000x better looking than the original.
Andrew5329's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 16:15
Andrew5329
OMFG OMFG THE PIGGYS ARE BACK THE PIGGYS ARE BACK =D =D =D =D =D
collegeGirls's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 16:27
collegeGirls
Holy fucking shit. This is the most remarkable event of 2007. I can't believe this trailer, and the laundry list of shit it does wrong. How long has this game been in development? 10 years or so? And this was their choice footage? Amazing. And the blowing smoke into the camera animation... whoa, that's bad ass. What douche came up with that one.

I hate to criticize peoples work, I'd like not to say it's terrible, and worthless. But this, this is by far the worst. And I'm going to be a dick head and say this team, whoever they are, have to be so fucking stupid. 10 years... no matter what, no matter what you go through in life, you have to be the most incompetent director if your project takes this long, and is this piecemeal, and this is what you have to show for it. This Duke Nukem situation... it's just dumb.

I love this teaser / trailer.
macr's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 16:28
macr
It was thrown together for fun at their xmas party... i doubt they are too arsed about comments on the graphics.
toast!'s Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 16:29
toast!
zomg this game is going to kick so much ass... i cant wait
Dr Milkdad's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 16:35
Dr Milkdad
I love it.. I love it
Mekanikles's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 16:54
Mekanikles
Heh, so they licensed the Doom 3 engine this time...
HighVoltage's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 16:56
HighVoltage
Could be fun. The models could look better though. Duke's hair looks like crap.
MasterMS's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:00
MasterMS
I wonder how 3d realms can stay in business when they take 10+ years to make a game
Jinky Williams's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:06
Jinky Williams
"I remember 10 years ago, most of the people would of laughed at that toilet joke. I mean I knew I started to shed a tear at the thought of classic, tasteless Duke Nukem one-liners making a return."

Roger that.

I am so jazzed about this game.


Oh, and for you youngins who were too young to play the game back when it came out in 1996 (or who just didn't play it), his quote references his last interaction with the final boss of DN3D.

I think everyone who wants to comment about this game should be required to play Duke Nukem 3d through, first.
RWarrior1CO's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:10
RWarrior1CO
Ergh, the trailer gave me epileptic seizures. But I'm not going to get excited by any means--3DRealms made a trailer for this game a LONG time ago, then sat on their butts and didn't finish their product. If they did that again I wouldn't bat an eye.
Jetsetlemming's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:11
Jetsetlemming
No. Fail. It's not the graphics, it's the lack of ANYTHING really there. This is complete shit, and fails at even showing that 3D Realms has been doing anything at all. In Brussard's announcement yesterday of this trailer he sounded shocked that someone had bothered to do the work needed to put it together.

Fuck 3D Realms. The only way we'll ever ever see Duke Nukem: Forever is if they drop the project and another developer picks it up, finishes it, and releases it, just like Prey. 3D Realms hasn't done jack shit besides produce and publish since Duke Nukem 3d.
corneliuscack's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:14
corneliuscack
i think this trailer just parked its bricks all over our faces.
Elrando's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:30
Elrando
park my bricks = suck it down.
WastelandTraveler's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:33
WastelandTraveler
bahahah this was fucking awesome. And btw, since when are they actually supposed to show shit in a TEASER?
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:39
Rockvillian
I'm buying 10 copies.
joeisremy's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 17:49
joeisremy
good thing i'll be able to run it on windows 95 still
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