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Well kids, here it is. Weighing in at just over a minute long, the Duke Nukem Forever teaser is just as cheesy as you'd hoped it would be, and then some. As you might expect, there isn't much of anything in the way of actual gameplay footage to be seen here, but if the game has been in development for over ten years, it's bound to be incredible, right? Right?  

Of special note is the one-liner at the end of the video. I won't spoil it for you, but watch the trailer and then come join me in the comments to make fun of it, won't you?


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129 comments | showing # 1 to 50

SteamyV's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:41
SteamyV
balls of steel?
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:42
MaxVest
I'm looking for some overhyped trailer to park my bricks.

Found it.
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:45
BluDesign
Yeah, are we supposed to get excited over shitty graphics like this?

http://www.shacknews.com/images/image-o-matic.x?/images/sshots/Screenshot/8921/8921_47694dab5485e.jpg

That looks like garbage. It looks like it's half assedly skinned and poorly modeled. That bus has wheels that look like octagons.

I wasn't looking for something that trumps Crysis, but this is barely above what they showed us in 2001.
Zarathustra's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:45
Zarathustra
You know, I've been looking for a new way to say "I gotta take a crap". Thank you Duke Nukem. Thank you.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I gotta go park my bricks.
BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:46
BlindsideDork
Is it so bad that it will become a cliche-catch phrase that catches on with all gamers and be like viral campaign or something?
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:46
Teta
Stay tuned.... for another 6 years.
sleepingagain's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:46
sleepingagain
thats taken way too long
doctorjones's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:47
doctorjones
What in the hell was that? Alien Toilet - is that the name of a band? Seriously, 10 years in the making and that's the best fuggin' line that they could come up with...
weedgan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:47
weedgan
This game will undoubtly have something good about it, i mean ten years for a game, you think they'd put something amazing in it.

Trailers cool, and im excited.

Please relase on 360, i dont need to buy another PC.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:47
EternalDeathSlayer
That sucked
Rosseh's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:47
Rosseh
Since when did Duke Nukem have a speech impediment? The way he says bricks he sounds like a husky Jonathan Ross.
Puppetpallmich's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:48
Puppetpallmich
fuck u i liked it
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:50
Snaileb
If it comes with pinball then I'm stoked.

MaX Vest wins this round...
ZMTToxics's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:53
ZMTToxics
ME! I AM FIRST! PARK YOUR BRICKS HERE! I LOVE YOU DUKE NUKEM!
kaneka's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:54
kaneka
Was the first one amazing? NO. Was it fun? Yes.(especially coop with friends) It will be a good time.
ZMTToxics's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:54
ZMTToxics
Also, why is this in the 360 section, its a PC game :p.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:54
Kryptinite
I need a demo first before I pass any judgement.

Hell I need a firm release date!!!
FiXXXerX's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:55
FiXXXerX
Fuck it all guys... Duke Nukem 3D provided some of the best FPS experiences I've ever had.

That trailer looks great, and its good to know they still know who Duke Nukem is, even if most of you don't.
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:56
Topher Cantler
@ ZMTToxics: Because it's coming out for the 360. :P
Colette Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:56
Colette Bennett
Ew. Brick parking.
nagolttam's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:56
nagolttam
I still think that this game is a forever long April fools joke.
robcat09's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:56
robcat09
SUCK IT DOWN!

Looks awesome - nice teaser of all my favorite baddies. I look forward to kickin some pig-cop ass :-D
kaneka's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:57
kaneka
to clarify---> "first one" = N64 port
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:58
RICHARD BLOCKER
Stay with me here......

It kindof sounds like R. Lee Ermey(drill instructor) and Leonard(retard) from Full Metal Jacket Had A butt baby, and he's trying to sound all hard.
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:58
s0lesurviv0r
I see that over the years it has aged like fine cottage cheese. I'll still check it out if it manages to come out during my lifetime.
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 11:58
007
hmm, looks like the franchise is finally starting to go towards a more family friendly feel now.
fonz's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:00
fonz
Duke has been parking his bricks for 10 years! Let's get on with the game!
Chad Concelmo's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:02
Chad Concelmo
Um ... wut?
DeusPayne's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:03
DeusPayne
There's not much to say other than "not worth the wait".
ScottEFresh's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:05
ScottEFresh
Pure awesome. They better actually make this Fn game.
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:11
B-Radicate
This games looks like Prey took a shit and rubbed itself with a dirty vagina.
bruceleethree's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:15
bruceleethree
Every 10 years we'll get a trailer with a catch phrase, after 100 years we'll have a full game with full dialogue.
robotplague's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:17
robotplague
Is this supposed to be like Snakes On Plane where the product is self aware that it's sensationalized garbage and makes the most of it?
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:17
Jim Sterling
Need to park my bricks brb.
Pepillou2's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:23
Pepillou2
So he will shit bricks? Is he gonna see something? Know what I mean?
He´s a redneck.
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:24
njsykora
'I need to park my bricks' is going to become almost as much of a catchphrase as 'the cake is a lie'.

All joking aside though, every fibre of my being hopes that 3D Realms can actually get it out and have it be a good game. I think that deep down, every gamer is cheering this on because we all want to see it come out.
Justin Villasenor's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:24
Justin Villasenor
Wow...nice ending line.
IceMax's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:27
IceMax
the nanoseconds flashes look pretty good, but duke himself looked like total shit
RskimB's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:31
RskimB
Looks like crap, hopefully it wont play the same.
Netrat33's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:33
Netrat33
People talking about the graphics are retarded. Although the game had good graphics for the time, this game was all about the over the top violent humor (comical way) When I saw Duke, immediately thought "people are goign to think he is lame. But that's the point!" I just hope this game pulls of the wait.
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:35
DJDuffy
omg! They've casted Bruce Willis as Duke Nukem? Cereally...he looks like a pumped-up Bruce Willis with a flat-top.
flaming burrito's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:35
flaming burrito
hahahaha 10 years for this crap... if this game ever comes out in my lifetime, i'll have to get it out of principle.
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:38
Oni
Wow. I never ever thought I'd see the day when Duke Nukem Forever actually had a teaser trailer. I guess now we've just gotta wait another 5 - 10 years for the actual game.
elsiluro's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:39
elsiluro
enough is enough. i have had it with these motherfucking bricks in this motherfucking alien toilet.
Bans's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:41
Bans
Can't believe there is a trailer out. I loved Duke Nukem, it's the "Snakes on a Plane" of video games. Too awesome.
BlueJester's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:41
BlueJester
meh, anyone else think he looked weird? Like a Ken doll or something. A really ripped Ken doll.
monosylabik's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:42
monosylabik
is it wrong that i went "fuck yeah!!" ?
whatever. ill play it for 10min and go back to halo 3 soon after.
Professor Pew's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:44
Professor Pew
I think I prefered the fanmade trailers :(
Twosixteen's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:47
Twosixteen
This game is going to sail the failboat into Failtown.

You know it.

I know it.

And so does 3DRealms. That's why they're going for the "so bad it's good" vibe on this over hyped PoS.
myaimistrue's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/19/2007 12:53
myaimistrue
Holy fuck, this is bigger than god and satan combined in a cinnamon bun. Come on people, it had THE OCTOBRAIN! Jesus christ! Octobrain!
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