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Well kids, here it is. Weighing in at just over a minute long, the Duke Nukem Forever teaser is just as cheesy as you'd hoped it would be, and then some. As you might expect, there isn't much of anything in the way of actual gameplay footage to be seen here, but if the game has been in development for over ten years, it's bound to be incredible, right? Right?  

Of special note is the one-liner at the end of the video. I won't spoil it for you, but watch the trailer and then come join me in the comments to make fun of it, won't you?


Continue: More Duke Nukem stories





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130 comments | showing # 1 to 50

SteamyV's Avatar
SteamyV at 12/19/2007 11:41
balls of steel?
MaxVest's Avatar
MaxVest at 12/19/2007 11:42
I'm looking for some overhyped trailer to park my bricks.

Found it.
BluDesign's Avatar
BluDesign at 12/19/2007 11:45
Yeah, are we supposed to get excited over shitty graphics like this?

http://www.shacknews.com/images/image-o-matic.x?/images/sshots/Screenshot/8921/8921_47694dab5485e.jpg

That looks like garbage. It looks like it's half assedly skinned and poorly modeled. That bus has wheels that look like octagons.

I wasn't looking for something that trumps Crysis, but this is barely above what they showed us in 2001.
Zarathustra's Avatar
Zarathustra at 12/19/2007 11:45
You know, I've been looking for a new way to say "I gotta take a crap". Thank you Duke Nukem. Thank you.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I gotta go park my bricks.
BlindsideDork's Avatar
BlindsideDork at 12/19/2007 11:46
Is it so bad that it will become a cliche-catch phrase that catches on with all gamers and be like viral campaign or something?
Teta's Avatar
Teta at 12/19/2007 11:46
Stay tuned.... for another 6 years.
sleepingagain's Avatar
sleepingagain at 12/19/2007 11:46
thats taken way too long
doctorjones's Avatar
doctorjones at 12/19/2007 11:47
What in the hell was that? Alien Toilet - is that the name of a band? Seriously, 10 years in the making and that's the best fuggin' line that they could come up with...
weedgan's Avatar
weedgan at 12/19/2007 11:47
This game will undoubtly have something good about it, i mean ten years for a game, you think they'd put something amazing in it.

Trailers cool, and im excited.

Please relase on 360, i dont need to buy another PC.
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar
EternalDeathSlayer at 12/19/2007 11:47
That sucked
Rosseh's Avatar
Rosseh at 12/19/2007 11:47
Since when did Duke Nukem have a speech impediment? The way he says bricks he sounds like a husky Jonathan Ross.
Puppetpallmich's Avatar
Puppetpallmich at 12/19/2007 11:48
fuck u i liked it
Snaileb 's Avatar
Snaileb at 12/19/2007 11:50
If it comes with pinball then I'm stoked.

MaX Vest wins this round...
ZMTToxics's Avatar
ZMTToxics at 12/19/2007 11:53
ME! I AM FIRST! PARK YOUR BRICKS HERE! I LOVE YOU DUKE NUKEM!
kaneka's Avatar
kaneka at 12/19/2007 11:54
Was the first one amazing? NO. Was it fun? Yes.(especially coop with friends) It will be a good time.
ZMTToxics's Avatar
ZMTToxics at 12/19/2007 11:54
Also, why is this in the 360 section, its a PC game :p.
Kryptinite's Avatar
Kryptinite at 12/19/2007 11:54
I need a demo first before I pass any judgement.

Hell I need a firm release date!!!
FiXXXerX's Avatar
FiXXXerX at 12/19/2007 11:55
Fuck it all guys... Duke Nukem 3D provided some of the best FPS experiences I've ever had.

That trailer looks great, and its good to know they still know who Duke Nukem is, even if most of you don't.
Mozgus's Avatar
Mozgus at 12/19/2007 11:56
Dammit dammit. No. This is wrong.
Topher Cantler's Avatar
Topher Cantler at 12/19/2007 11:56
@ ZMTToxics: Because it's coming out for the 360. :P
Colette Bennett's Avatar
Colette Bennett at 12/19/2007 11:56
Ew. Brick parking.
nagolttam's Avatar
nagolttam at 12/19/2007 11:56
I still think that this game is a forever long April fools joke.
robcat09's Avatar
robcat09 at 12/19/2007 11:56
SUCK IT DOWN!

Looks awesome - nice teaser of all my favorite baddies. I look forward to kickin some pig-cop ass :-D
kaneka's Avatar
kaneka at 12/19/2007 11:57
to clarify---> "first one" = N64 port
RICHARD BLOCKER's Avatar
RICHARD BLOCKER at 12/19/2007 11:58
Stay with me here......

It kindof sounds like R. Lee Ermey(drill instructor) and Leonard(retard) from Full Metal Jacket Had A butt baby, and he's trying to sound all hard.
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar
s0lesurviv0r at 12/19/2007 11:58
I see that over the years it has aged like fine cottage cheese. I'll still check it out if it manages to come out during my lifetime.
007's Avatar
007 at 12/19/2007 11:58
hmm, looks like the franchise is finally starting to go towards a more family friendly feel now.
fonz's Avatar
fonz at 12/19/2007 12:00
Duke has been parking his bricks for 10 years! Let's get on with the game!
Chad Concelmo's Avatar
Chad Concelmo at 12/19/2007 12:02
Um ... wut?
DeusPayne's Avatar
DeusPayne at 12/19/2007 12:03
There's not much to say other than "not worth the wait".
ScottEFresh's Avatar
ScottEFresh at 12/19/2007 12:05
Pure awesome. They better actually make this Fn game.
B-Radicate's Avatar
B-Radicate at 12/19/2007 12:11
This games looks like Prey took a shit and rubbed itself with a dirty vagina.
bruceleethree's Avatar
bruceleethree at 12/19/2007 12:15
Every 10 years we'll get a trailer with a catch phrase, after 100 years we'll have a full game with full dialogue.
robotplague's Avatar
robotplague at 12/19/2007 12:17
Is this supposed to be like Snakes On Plane where the product is self aware that it's sensationalized garbage and makes the most of it?
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 12/19/2007 12:17
Need to park my bricks brb.
Pepillou2's Avatar
Pepillou2 at 12/19/2007 12:23
So he will shit bricks? Is he gonna see something? Know what I mean?
He´s a redneck.
njsykora's Avatar
njsykora at 12/19/2007 12:24
'I need to park my bricks' is going to become almost as much of a catchphrase as 'the cake is a lie'.

All joking aside though, every fibre of my being hopes that 3D Realms can actually get it out and have it be a good game. I think that deep down, every gamer is cheering this on because we all want to see it come out.
Justin Villasenor's Avatar
Justin Villasenor at 12/19/2007 12:24
Wow...nice ending line.
IceMax's Avatar
IceMax at 12/19/2007 12:27
the nanoseconds flashes look pretty good, but duke himself looked like total shit
RskimB's Avatar
RskimB at 12/19/2007 12:31
Looks like crap, hopefully it wont play the same.
Netrat33's Avatar
Netrat33 at 12/19/2007 12:33
People talking about the graphics are retarded. Although the game had good graphics for the time, this game was all about the over the top violent humor (comical way) When I saw Duke, immediately thought "people are goign to think he is lame. But that's the point!" I just hope this game pulls of the wait.
DJDuffy 's Avatar
DJDuffy at 12/19/2007 12:35
omg! They've casted Bruce Willis as Duke Nukem? Cereally...he looks like a pumped-up Bruce Willis with a flat-top.
flaming burrito's Avatar
flaming burrito at 12/19/2007 12:35
hahahaha 10 years for this crap... if this game ever comes out in my lifetime, i'll have to get it out of principle.
Oni's Avatar
Oni at 12/19/2007 12:38
Wow. I never ever thought I'd see the day when Duke Nukem Forever actually had a teaser trailer. I guess now we've just gotta wait another 5 - 10 years for the actual game.
elsiluro's Avatar
elsiluro at 12/19/2007 12:39
enough is enough. i have had it with these motherfucking bricks in this motherfucking alien toilet.
Bans's Avatar
Bans at 12/19/2007 12:41
Can't believe there is a trailer out. I loved Duke Nukem, it's the "Snakes on a Plane" of video games. Too awesome.
BlueJester's Avatar
BlueJester at 12/19/2007 12:41
meh, anyone else think he looked weird? Like a Ken doll or something. A really ripped Ken doll.
monosylabik's Avatar
monosylabik at 12/19/2007 12:42
is it wrong that i went "fuck yeah!!" ?
whatever. ill play it for 10min and go back to halo 3 soon after.
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 12/19/2007 12:44
I think I prefered the fanmade trailers :(
Twosixteen's Avatar
Twosixteen at 12/19/2007 12:47
This game is going to sail the failboat into Failtown.

You know it.

I know it.

And so does 3DRealms. That's why they're going for the "so bad it's good" vibe on this over hyped PoS.
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