Our friends over at Bitmob recently scrounged up some ancient videogame magazines that date all the way back to the mid 1990s, and yes, they were nice enough to share their shocking archeological find with us.

Depending on where you live, it's probably way past your bedtime, so allow me to express my thoughts on a few of these game ads in bullet point form:

•  The only way to successfully attract my attention is to use violently bright colors the likes of which my eyes have never seen
• I owned one of those Power Rangers LCD handhelds. Using barcodes to change the action EVERYTIME was exactly as sh*tty as you'd imagine it would be
• In retrospect, Wolfenstein 3D would have been cooler if B.J. Blazkowicz was blind
• My burning desire to play every game with "super" in the title almost caused me to rent Super Alfred Chicken once. Almost

If any of you happen to be in the business of making coffee book tables, here's my bright idea that I totally didn't just come up with fifteen seconds ago: go out and create a book filled with nothing but aged videogame ads. Would that not be the perfect lazy Christmas gift for a geek close to your heart?