Our friends over at Bitmob recently scrounged up some ancient videogame magazines that date all the way back to the mid 1990s, and yes, they were nice enough to share their shocking archeological find with us.
Depending on where you live, it's probably way past your bedtime, so allow me to express my thoughts on a few of these game ads in bullet point form:
- The only way to successfully attract my attention is to use violently bright colors the likes of which my eyes have never seen
- I owned one of those Power Rangers LCD handhelds. Using barcodes to change the action EVERYTIME was exactly as sh*tty as you'd imagine it would be
- In retrospect, Wolfenstein 3D would have been cooler if B.J. Blazkowicz was blind
- My burning desire to play every game with "super" in the title almost caused me to rent Super Alfred Chicken once. Almost
If any of you happen to be in the business of making coffee book tables, here's my bright idea that I totally didn't just come up with fifteen seconds ago: go out and create a book filled with nothing but aged videogame ads. Would that not be the perfect lazy Christmas gift for a geek close to your heart?
Jordan Devore is Destructoid's PC gaming manager and founding ginger editor. He is said to be easy to love but difficult to know. When Samit inquired about his curious bio photo Jordan simply replied:
"bitches love sandcastles" ... yet, there is no sandcastle in that photo. We may never truly understand his ways.
Likes
Platformers, Pixel-based graphics, Stickerbrush Symphony, Pokemon, Leaderboards
Meet the rest of the team
| BBcode help |
| [b]Bold text[/b] |
Bold text |
| [i]Italic text[/i] |
Italic text |
| [url]http://www.dtoid.com/[/url] |
http://www.dtoid.com |
| [url=http://www.dtoid.com/]Web link[/url] |
Web link |
|
| [img]http://www.example.com/robot.jpg[/img] |
 |
Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:
Comment with Facebook
Click connect and comment instantly!
|
Comment with Dtoid
New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds
|
24 comments | showing # 1 to 24
|
Comment with Facebook
Click connect and comment instantly!
|
Comment with Dtoid
New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds
|
Comments policy
Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?
Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!
Contest:
5:00 AM on 10.01.2009
| 
Hey is that you down there BM ??
PS3: um..meh
*disclaimer: no PS3's were verbally accosted during this comment.
Better than the 70s, easier to take seriously than the 80s, but still not enough personality to outdo the damn 60s.
http://www.infendo.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/ad1.jpg
Coming spring 2010.
Not too much has changed.
And that is how you lay down the smack on your opponents and rouse up your fanboys.
It's full of articles like this and the whole feel of the magazine reminds me of Mean Machine, CV&G and ZZap (if you know them lol) - half the bloody staff from those mags work on it anyway.
Makes you wonder how far game marketing has come, I think if I saw something like this now for a current gen title I'd be extremely put off.
Secondly, that guy who wrote the article is doing it wrong. The article itself is very douchey, and his jokes are stupid. It's nice to see some ads, but he did so just to make stupid remarks about them.
ahhh the awesomeness of the late 90's....
I should probably hang on to my memory and not replay it.