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The Dtoid PAX contest has finally come to an end, but I'm too busy tracking down videos and glamour shots of Ivanka Trump and Lonelygirl15 (the dead one) to care so here is a dude dressed up like Jenna Jameson's skeleton and the winner themself to make the announcement, live from Hooters in Hollywood, California. Special thanks to Husky Hizzle for putting all this shizzle together for Dtizzle.
 
Hit the jump to see what it takes to be a winner and why you don't have it.

Tristero has not only rocked the front page multiple times with his promoted community blogs and riveting romantic fan fictions, but he also jumped the gun on the finalist video which shows the kind of initiative employers are always on the lookout. Not me though, I just look for boobs and a total lack of self-worth, but that's probably why I don't run Destructoid.

It's also my understanding there was a great deal of fellatio involved, but it's still unclear as to whether Tristero was on the receiving or delivering end. With Workman around it's a heads or tails sorta thing... Here is Tristero's awesome amateur vid called "4 in 1 hole (part one incomplete MUST SEE) Linkin Park money cars The OC tits yellow Mega Man". Enjoy! 

And just in case any of you are as bored as I am and can't think of anything else to say to Jessica Chobot, here are some completely unrelated videos about two things that basically go hand in hand...

 

 






Contests Official Rules



No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 


Contests Official Rules



No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 




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43 comments | showing # 1 to 43
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Aequitas's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 14:48
Aequitas
Congratulations, you lucky bastard.
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 14:51
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
Good luck Tristero, WiiSucks and Distrato are nipping at your heels for that winning blog post...
Joe Burling's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 14:51
Joe Burling
Congrats, Tristero!
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 14:51
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
Good luck Tristero, WiiSucks and Distrato are nipping at your heels for that winning blog post...
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 14:53
Neonie
Lol @ "EAT A DICK!"
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 14:55
Copyright 2008 Agent Chieftain
So, who are the runner-ups? I doubt my satire placed me in the contest, but I want to see the other stuff.
Kif 's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 14:57
Kif
This is a private video. If you have been sent this video, please make sure you accept the sender's friend request.

:(
Das Inchworm's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 14:59
Das Inchworm
"Don't film the money" Fuckin epic. mucho congrats.
-D-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:01
-D-
Congrats Tristero!
Corncobtacular's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:02
Corncobtacular
Nice PBR shirt
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:04
AngelsDontBurn
Embedded video fails.
bluemeep's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:05
bluemeep
Attaboy!
William Haley's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:08
William Haley
Which video can you guys not see?
Snaileb 's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:09
Snaileb
Epic, but the first vid didn't load.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:13
Maurice Tan
Distrato without a mask, my eyesssssss!

This was cereal epic though. Gratz and good job you Ryan Gosling/Nicholas Cage crossbreed you!
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:16
Sharpless
Embedded video does not fail, sir. YOU fail. :)

Congrats, dude.
Jordan Devore's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:19
Jordan Devore
First vid is set to private.
Cowzilla3's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:20
Cowzilla3
Frickin amazing. Congrats.
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:23
Oni
1) Congratulations! May your journey to PAX be eventful and well documented with pictures

2) Dr. Tran for the mother fucking win, bitches!
Justin Villasenor's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:23
Justin Villasenor
That was an awesome video Tristero.

A WINNAR IS YOU!
Tiff's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:31
Tiff
Tristero is made of win and awesome.
Less than three, and can't wait to party @ PAX!
PacoDG's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:32
PacoDG
Well deserved.

Oh man, the video is good too, he went out of his way for this.

His picture should replace Summa's which is still up on the Podtoid.com page.
ChrisFurniss's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:34
ChrisFurniss
I had to read that first paragraph three times before I understood it.
William Haley's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:43
William Haley
Furniss, my writing transcends comprehension.
William Haley's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 15:48
William Haley
You guys can thank Husky for not setting the video to public. Check back a little later...
Kif 's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 16:24
Kif
Blowjobs for Dtoid staff only lemon! Control yourself, man!

But congrats to Tristero. You guys better bring back some awesome footage from PAX.
SLiFE's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 16:28
SLiFE
Fuck, I'm lamenting my inability to attend this year more and more every day.
Arcanum's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 16:31
Arcanum
Oh, darn it
slee's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 16:31
slee
Congrats man but I would like to point out that the fine establishment of HOOTERS is across the street.;) You are actually at Hollywood and Highland shopping plaza in front of the Kodak theater where they hold the Academy Awards!;) Actually you are standing where the red carpet would be!!! Ahh Greybush you have gone all Hollyweird!!!
vinnchan's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 16:40
vinnchan
Great work Tristero. Hope you have fun at PAX.
charliesuh's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 17:12
charliesuh
Whooooo go tristero!
Riser Glen's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 17:17
Riser Glen
I am now jealous of Tristero.
deanhatescoffee's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 17:55
deanhatescoffee
Congrats Tristero. I'll see you guys there. :)
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 18:36
king3vbo
better start warming up my jaw.... :(
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 19:47
Hoygeit
Congrats Tristero!

Those blog entries you put up were really something. Keep up the awesome work dude and have fun at PAX!
topgeargorilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 20:12
topgeargorilla
Cool! That'll be a blast, and keep up the good writing!
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 20:38
Bob Muir
Props to whoever put White Ash by The Pillows in that video, and additional props to Tristero for the awesome Threadless t-shirt. Oh, and I guess for winning as well.
Daniel Husky Lingen's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 21:17
Daniel Husky Lingen
Props to necros for reading who made the video :P

*ahem*

and yeah... The Pillows rule
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/15/2007 21:34
Bob Muir
Sorry Husky. The "Hizzle" slang must have thrown me off.
itemforty's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/16/2007 16:53
itemforty
Congratulations tristero. That should be a freakin' awesome trip what with all the sweaty people and alcohol.
MATTFOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/22/2007 10:37
MATTFOO
so im not apart of the dtoid staff but can i get a blowjob?
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