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 Seriously, don't do it. The KGB will find you, and they will break your legs before sending you to jail for three years for tampering with Ragnarok Online's original code. 

Ok, maybe OSP International isn't reporting the guy's broken legs, but I'm pretty sure we can take that as a given. More importantly, how did RO, that cheeky Korean MMO that continues to keep every country east of the U.S. in its spritey clutches, get connected to the Russian mafia?

Sweeping, ethnocentric generalizations and non sequiturs aside, Moscow native Valentin Kiseliov faces up to 3 years in a gulag for violating Russian copyright law -- specifically, article 145, part 3, paragraph 'in'. GRAVITY, RO's publisher is accusing Comrade Kaseliov of using official code to emulate an RO server. Kiseliov claims, in turn, that he wrote all of the code from scratch, and that he really would like for someone to apologize for shattering his tibia.

But seriously, any country that uses prepositions as section markers in their penal code has way bigger problems than some guy's emulator.

Editor's note: I pride myself on having been able to avoid all "In Soviet Russia ... " jokes, and I didn't name-drop Friedrich Engels. Not even one, single time.

[Big ol' thanks to Buck F1tches, who isn't nearly as misogynistic as his name, and to the lovely Beedog Studios for its fine, fine artwork.]


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9 comments | showing # 1 to 9
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Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2007 02:00
Topher Cantler
You know, when I was looking for poring pics to do that, I came across this site, which is a million times funnier.
PockyBum522's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2007 02:24
PockyBum522
AHA! That poring tripod site rocks my left sock, and comrade poring rocks my right sock!

I wanna buy the guy some self defense lessons, I loves me some eAthena, oh yes I do.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2007 03:03
Mxyzptlk
That is the most adorable communist ever. You should make a chiba-Stalin and they can play together!
Ndizi's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2007 04:34
Ndizi
3 years!? I think I should better stick to rape then.
phatinc's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2007 05:28
phatinc
I soviet russia, porings rape you!
Joe Burling's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2007 08:19
Joe Burling
Orcist, I actually had to go look up "misogynistic" in the dictionary.
Joseph Leray's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2007 08:30
Joseph Leray
Did you like what you found?
J03yyz's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/19/2007 10:40
J03yyz
in soviet russia, groceries do you!
owen123's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/22/2007 04:34
owen123
We should eliminate communism.



Owen
http://www.spaml.com
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