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Did Annabel Chong get the idea from Dynasty Warriors? photo

FOXTOID returns with yet another shockingly sexy videogame revelation! Our expert scientific researchers have used science to prove an unequivocal link between former pornographic sex starlet Annabel Chong and ultra violent videogame series Dynasty Warriors. Hey,  maybe the game should be called Die Nasty Whore Areolas from now on, right?

As we all know, Chong shot to fame for engaging in 251 sexual acts with 70 men in a single glorious session of unChristian depravity that we at FOXTOID condemn in front of our mothers. In the Dynasty Warriors series, you can kill over 70 enemies at any given time -- coincidence? We think not.

Dynasty Warriors and Annabel Chong's life may as well be mirrors of each other -- both of them feature Asians taking on hundreds of men with their weapons in their hands and both of them have led to young males engaging in repetitive hand actions for short periods of time. In the opinion of this humble reporter, and it's the correct opinion -- videogames and the porn industry are working together to corrupt young minds. 

You cannot draw another conclusion. Look into my eyes and know this to be true.








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Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28
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Tragic Hero's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 08:57
Tragic Hero
How does Zhang Hei fit into all of this though? I need answers FoxToid...
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 08:59
Aaron Mxy Yost
I also condemned Annabel "harlot" Chong's depraved actions. I condemned them quite often while I was alone at night in bed after Mother and Father had gone to sleep and would be unable to hear the sounds of my condemning.

*CONDEMN CONDEMN CONDEMN*
Topher Cantler's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 09:01
Topher Cantler
Surely you would never spy Geraldo Beedog engaging in sexual acts with numerous asians. Geraldo Beedog is...


...not that lucky.
slapme7times's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 09:03
slapme7times
251 sexual acts with 70 men? Reminds me of my baptism!
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 09:04
Justice
Enemy Officer's Dong - DEFEATED!
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 09:14
MaxVest
The words in this news column are simply deplorable. Would you kiss your mother with that tongue?
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 09:16
tazarthayoot
HIP HIP HIP! SCURRY SCURRY, RAAAATHAAAR!
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 09:17
king3vbo
DYNASTY WARRIORS IS A SHAM
cbre88x's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 09:31
cbre88x
I've gotta give it to Dtoid this time..the gamespot parody was good, but this is nearly perfect. haha. good job guys.
Nogarda's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 09:45
Nogarda
Buy jim sterlings book entitled 'your all a bunch of c***s' which has been praised for its overabundance of the word /*cunt* which is featured 4739 times. rated ***** and includes his master plan for assassinating wardrox.

*collects his plugging fee*
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:00
AgentMOO
Scandalous!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:10
GuitarAtomik
I learned of a new porn star today. Thanks FOXTOID!
tkyy's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:21
tkyy
This is true. You told me to believe it and I do.
Velt's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:37
Velt
my eyes burn!!! I want ten copies of that movie!!

I mean... to... ergh... burn all of them in church while singing cumbaya.
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:54
Red TheHaze Veron
ching chong ching!!!











PS Im asian.
brosef's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 10:59
brosef
IT'S A CONSPIRISAH!!
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:34
Maurice Tan
These games are hidden motivators for our children. Do we really want to let them play these kinds of violent videogames where they learn only about Chinese history. Is American history not enough? We have had more than 200 years of it, by golly!

Next thing you know, our teenagers will be speaking Chinese instead of Spanish. My God....
13thDragon's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:37
13thDragon
I wonder what her Musou attack is?
BigBadJuan's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:43
BigBadJuan
That is one good looking moustache... I should grow me one of those.
Chocobo Knight's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 11:51
Chocobo Knight
I wield my spear in the name of justice!
Robert's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 12:41
Robert
Come! Feel the weight of my spear!

It all makes sense now...
wario67's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 15:32
wario67
how does this game have T rating? it needs to be AO!
HideousKojima's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 18:02
HideousKojima
The only selectable character for the Dong empire.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/01/2008 22:28
Bob Muir
More proof that Dynasty Warriors is terrible.
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/02/2008 11:25
HarassmentPanda
"Die Nasty Whore Areolas"... I LOLed.

Jim, you've taken this mockery up to a new level.
vespoharte11's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/14/2011 17:28
vespoharte11
be as little alone as possible; you should take plenty of exercise. order zyrtec
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