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Diary of a PSPgo upgrader

4:00 PM on 10.02.2009   |   Jim Sterling

Diary of a PSPgo upgrader photo

I've been speaking ill of the PSPgo (or more specifically, Sony's handling of the PSPgo) for a few weeks now, but let it not be said that I won't put my money where my mouth is. Quite a lot of money, in fact, as I visited GameStop yesterday and acquired the latest PlayStation Portable. As I've said many times, I am a PSP fan and I wanted to love the new system, and I decided the only way to judge this machine was to have this machine. I now have one.

When I got home, I tried to get all my data and information from my old PSP-1000 to the PSPgo. However, Sony has not considered the idea of anybody wanting to do this, and decided to not only make it needlessly difficult, but to provide no instructions on how to do it. I've never really messed around with data transfer on the PSP before, so I was stumbling in the dark. I now present to you a detailed log of my first three hours with the PSPgo, and the eventual slip into insanity that it wrought. 

The diary may differ ever so slightly from reality for comedic effect, but the miserable, embarrassing experience is based on a true story and pretty much everything detailed in the diary happened. Please read on and share my suffering in this diary of a PSPgo upgrader.

6:00pm: Have purchased a PSPgo using obscene amounts of store credit. Technically didn't cost me any money, and I have some work-related reasons for owning one. Despite convincing myself that I had a legitimate reason to purchase a PSPgo, I still felt very ashamed when buying it, similar to the sense of guilt and remorse that comes with buying a pornographic magazine from a seedy newsagent. You can feel the judging eyes of the store clerk, knowing that there's something wrong with you. At least with porn, they give you a discreet brown paper bag to hide your terrible wares inside. No such luck with the PSPgo. Everybody saw me buying it, and knew of the dirty thing I had done.

7:10pm: Returned home after a brief dinner stop. Time to get this thing going. Switched on the PSPgo; it took a while to come to life, but no matter. Already weirded out by the fact that many of the buttons are situated behind the screen. Only a minor issue, though; nothing to worry about. The first thing to do is to get all my old information from the PSP-1000 to the PSpgo. I've gotten very comfortable on my old PSP, with a wallpaper I like, all my PlayStation Network information and, most importantly, the games. Should be easy enough to take out my Memory Stick Duo and put it in the PSPgo. 

7:16pm: What's a Memory Stick Micro?

7:18pm: Oh. Oh, I see. The PSPgo doesn't accept the previously standard Memory Stick Duo, because that would be a sane and sensible thing to do. Things have gotten difficult. How on Earth am I going to get all the data from one PSP to another if I can't put the Memory Stick in? Please don't tell me I'm going to have to connect my PSP-1000 to my computer, rip all the files from the PSP to the computer, then connect my PSPgo to my computer and copy all the files from the computer to the PSPgo. 

7:20pm: Connecting my PSP-1000 to my computer so I can rip all the files from the PSP to the computer before connecting my PSPgo to my computer and copying all the files from the computer to the PSPgo. 

7:30pm: There are several gigs of this stuff, by the way.

7:40pm: Okay, it's time to play some videogames! I'm going to give Final Fantasy VII a quick spin to see what it looks like on the smaller screen ... oh. I don't have the correct copyright stuff. Of course, that's all on the old PSP, isn't it? Should be easy to find instructions on how to do that, right?

7:41pm: Nope.

7:42pm: At the moment I can't connect my PSPgo to the Internet because my wife is out of the house and she knows the WEP key. I am bad at technology. I had hoped to copy the Internet information from my PSP-1000, but we've already determined that it'd be easier to pull my fingernails out with a bar of soap. For the record, there is not a single shred of information in the PSPgo manual telling upgraders how to successfully upgrade. The Sony apologists weren't kidding when they said the PSPgo wasn't designed for upgrading customers. Also, did they seriously have to change the USB port on the PSPgo? Why was that even necessary? Is Sony doing difficult shit just for the fun of doing difficult shit? Wait, don't even answer that.

7:45pm: Have decided upon a new course of action, or at least something to do to pass the time and feel like I'm accomplishing a single thing today. I've put the Media Go CD into my computer in the hopes that it will make data transfer much easier and allow me to put all my PSN information onto the PSPgo without any fuss. Should be a quick and easy bullshit-free installation, right? 

7:50pm: Why the fuck is it installing QuickTime on my fucking computer?

7:55pm: Seriously, why the fuck is it doing this?

8:00pm: With some Adobe update and QuickTime now randomly installed, the Media Go CD finally decided to install Media Go. Who'd have thought an installation CD would install the thing it's supposed to install? I now have this awesome media management tool on my computer. My plan is to connect to the PlayStation Store and then get all my PSN account information nice and snug on my PSPgo. Hopefully that will be the quickest way to make my PSPgo feel like home and then I can finally settle down to play some rockin' videogames!

8:00pm: "A new update is available for Media Go. Please install this new update before proceeding."

8:01pm: ...

8:02pm: ...

8:10pm: WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCKING CHRIST ALMIGHTY FUCKING PISSING FUCKING FUCK SHIT IN THE FUCKING WIND UP A FUCKING BELLTOWER OF FUCKING FUCKED SHIT!? This CD was released to the public TODAY! Why do I need to update it already!? I JUST CUNTING INSTALLED IT! I have been in my house for an hour ... an hour ... and I have done nothing but download, rip, copy, install, update, install, rip, copy, install, install and install. I just want to play some videogames! Sony, why won't you let me play some videogames? I promise I'll try to be a good person from now on. Do you want me to go to church?! I'll go to church if that's what it takes, I'll believe in God if I have to, I'll fucking kill and eat a baby if that's what you command JUST LET ME PLAY SOME VIDEOGAMES -- PLEASE!

8:20pm: Oh, thank fuck, the wife's come home. Have aborted the whole Media Go idea and decided instead to get the WEP key, connect to the PSN, get all my account info and do things the old-fashioned way. Oh, now we're making headway! Now we're cooking with gas! Now we're going to get rolling, son! I've got a good feeling this time. Everything's gonna be alright from now on. 

8:25pm: Oh, for fuck's sake. 

... You guessed it. I have to update the motherfucking firmware.

8:26pm: Downloading firmware v6.10 or whatever the latest bullshit number it is. It's hilarious that Sony has seen fit to change everything about the PSP with this brand new model, but if one thing must stay the same, it's the fact that customers will be downloading firmware more than they'll actually be downloading games. It's great that Sony saw fit to take the good things away and leave all the horseshit behind.

Ah, firmware download screen, my old friend. I haven't seen you since ... well, a few hours ago when I had to download you on my PSP-1000. And when did I see you before then? Oh right, it was just a couple weeks ago. And before that? A couple more weeks ago. I love you, firmware; I love you so much. In fact, I love everything Sony has ever decided to do. I love how unfriendly and needlessly difficult everything is. I love how Sony has its fucking head up its arse. This is so much better than the days of the Game Boy, when I could switch a games machine on and it would suddenly be able to play games right out of the box. Those days fucking sucked. 

8:30pm:

The battery level is low. Connect the AC adaptor and then wait for the battery to charge. The update will start automatically when the charge level is high enough to perform the update.

9:00pm: Still charging. Nothing has happened. This must be how Captain Oates felt on that doomed expedition to the South Pole. Isolated. Lonely. Totally without hope and in desperate search for a salvation that will not come. Frostbitten and faced with the knowledge that his continued existence brings pain and misery to all about him. I am just going outside and may be some time. 

9:07pm: Switched my DSi on. 

9:10pm: Oh Flipnote Studio Frog, you make everything better.

9:15pm: Singing Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" and pretending that I'm singing it to Samit. 

9:20pm: Finally started installing. 5% ... 10% ... In a way, I kind of don't want it to reach 100%. I'm hoping perhaps a crazed rapist with a fetish for fat Englishmen breaks in through the window before installation can finish and buggers me violently, slits my throat and shits into my mouth so that the shit comes out the hole in my neck, which he then fucks. I would prefer that to dealing with whatever fresh Hell awaits me in the next phase of this awful, awful saga called "trying to have fun with a PSPgo."

9:27pm: Firmware installed, got onto the PlayStation Store. Not sure what to do now. That hasn't made my PSPgo realize that I'm the same person who bought the games now lodged within its internal memory.

Where's that rapist?

9:38pm: Just decided to throw files onto the PSPgo and see what happens. Oh, look, there's a LICENSES folder. That must be all I need to get this shit working. Oh wait, no it doesn't; it's just changed the error message rather than fixed the problem. Instead of being told I have invalid copyright information, it's telling me I must "activate the system" in order to play them. I have never been told to do this before. I am not being told how to do it. I am guessing this means putting the PlayStation 3 on and connecting the PSPgo to it. 

It's at this point I realize that if I had done this in the first place, then this whole sorry mess might have been over sooner. Or at the very least, I would have not had to deal with Media Go until tomorrow, when I would have the strength to face such utter crap.

For those keeping score, I have so far had to use a PSP-1000, a computer, and now a PS3 just to try and get my PSPgo operating on the same level I had my old PSP operating at. I love simplicity. 

9:51pm: All done! In a way, I was kind of making things harder than they had to be, but considering that NONE of the instruction material for the PSPgo provides ANY details on how to transfer data efficiently, I was kind of stumbling in the dark. Still, the games are here, the licenses are in place, and now I can finally start playing videogames. 

9:52pm: Ooh, Rock Band Unplugged Lite. That should be a cool game to try out. Let's download it. 

9:55pm: This download is fifty minutes long. 

10:00pm: I'm going to bed.








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Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize. Likes PS2, iPod Touch, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid, Dynasty Warriors 3 Meet the rest of the team



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120 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

marxistforlife's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:09
marxistforlife
@mkshiranui
And that target is Jim Sterling.
Defunkled's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:10
Defunkled
How can you have a PSP-1000 for so long yet not know about things like activating the system and transferring data from Memory Stick to Memory Stick?
CitizenErased's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:10
CitizenErased
Sounds like a "must-buy".
Antwhan's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:11
Antwhan
I shure am glad i stopped messing around with the PSP, It had so much potential, but no Sony couldn't let simplicity get in the way of enjoying the system.

I think they really should work on making things easier for people upgrading from old psps, because umds are really annoying to maintain...
Anifanatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:11
Anifanatic
I don't understand what they're thinking with the PSP Go. Sony needs to get off it's high horse and stop thinking "We're the best so they'll put up with this kind of crap".
dwolfwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:12
dwolfwood
You're like a modern day explorer, going where no gamer has gone before.

/salute
evolution1ne's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:12
evolution1ne
lol what a douch
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:13
vexed alex
Hahahahahahahahaha!
T-rav's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:13
T-rav
I really do sometimes miss the days where we could just buy a game and play it without worry of updates or bricking or any other number of inconveniencing issues. Although, I don't miss the ever constant DISC READ ERRORS older gens.
Xzyliac's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:13
Xzyliac
Haha!!! That was hilarious! Ohmigod. Also I never knew "cunting" was a verb. Sweet. A new obscene word to say in inappropiate places.

Also, this only cements the evilness of this Nazi machine called the PSPgo.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:14
vexed alex
@Defunkled: Because he never had to do that, you walking, talking ass.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:15
Jim Sterling
"How can you have a PSP-1000 for so long yet not know about things like activating the system and transferring data from Memory Stick to Memory Stick?"

I obviously had a residual memory of system activation since I guessed what to do correctly. As for memory stick transfer, again, I did that, but the point is I should have had to. I should been able to put my Memory Stick into my PSPgo. Having to copy shit off and into the go's internal memory is fucking horseshit.

Also, as the diary states, I've never had to fuck around that much with the PSP 1000 so I really didn't know the ins and outs. The PSP 1000, you see, worked pretty well without the stupid hoops that the go makes you jump through.
Airbr1dge's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:17
Airbr1dge
Ahh DSi fixes pspgo problems.
Roager's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:20
Roager
Yeah... I don't care how exaggerated that was. I lol'd. And I'm not gonna get a go. Not least because I already have a 1000. (which I am proud to say I bought used for about 70 bucks)

Honestly, even if I didn't have a PSP already, I still wouldn't do it. You can easily buy a cheaper system that does the same thing and more. (downloads AND umd) Yeah, yeah, 16 gigs of space or whatever... Eh. I like physical media more anyways.
Super Drybones's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:20
Super Drybones
PROGRESS!!!!!!!!
Los255's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:21
Los255
Totally worth it.

"9:15pm: Singing Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" and pretending that I'm singing it to Samit. "

LOL
bart999's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:22
bart999
I'm a fan Jim but getting that piece of crap PSPgo has lowered you in my estimation...I-I-I I can't even look at you right now. If you'll excuse me I'm going to pick up my Hanna Montana Purple PSP3000.
Catmurderer's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:22
Catmurderer
FUCKING ANTISONY BIAS GAWD
LokiTerjesen's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:23
LokiTerjesen
Not looking forward to this for multiple reasons. I already knew I was sticking to my good ol' 2000. But the above diary, (however exaggerated or not) turns me off completely.

Regardless of fanboyism, I think we can all agree that Sony just isn't making things easy for most consumers and that's why the success of the PS2 isn't being replicated this generation. I'm pretty disappointed, because I WANT to support them, but damn if they don't make it tough.
BlackSymbiote's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:25
BlackSymbiote
What would happen if you didn't have a PS3, and were just upgrading from one PSP to the PSPgo? Does that mean you'd be S.O.L.?
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:27
Jim Sterling
"What would happen if you didn't have a PS3, and were just upgrading from one PSP to the PSPgo? Does that mean you'd be S.O.L.?"

My research indicated yes.
Filt's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:27
Filt
Jim, hilarious and fitting for such a pile of trash. Sony really hit the mark with this one. I seriously hope that the PSPGo fails hard and costs them a really nice chunk of money. I can't believe that they even made this piece of flaming garbage.

Anyway, I loved experiencing your experience with the PSPGo in my head, it was amazing. Thank you for this! ;)
Jack Maverick's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:28
Jack Maverick
Why does the battery level need to be pretty high for an update to happen? Does it cause problems for the system if it accidentally turns off while updating or what?

Sure, this was mostly exaggerated, but it's understandable since anything that involves jumping through a million hoops to get something simple done can drive anyone insane.
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:28
mistic
Lol this is hilarious :)
-PL-'s Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:29
-PL-
PSPgo-wned.
Evergreen's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:30
Evergreen
I'm glad my experience with MediaGo wasn't the only bad one. And my experience was using my PSP-2000! I'm definitely glad I didn't throw down any more money for a new one, that's for damn sure.
PappaDukes's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:30
PappaDukes
That was a great read! Funny as hell.
Agent Raz's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:31
Agent Raz
My PSP1000 recently died (through my own fault) and I was toying with the notion of getting a PSPgo. Not anymore! PSP3000, here I come.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:32
Jim Sterling
"Why does the battery level need to be pretty high for an update to happen?"

Because Sony.
Filt's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:32
Filt
@Jack Maverick: even if you have it plugged into a wall socket, you can't update it until the battery level is high enough. That in itself is just the most pants-on-head retarded thing I've ever heard of. What a piece of trash.
Wolfrider's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:33
Wolfrider
10:00am: Bought PSPgo.
10:30am: Arrived home and charged PSPgo.
11:00am: Powered on PSPgo and downloaded new firmware.
11:15am Signed into PSN and downloaded one of my old games.
11:30am Handed over old PSP to GF so she could take advantage of the fact that we have one library of games shared over two (three if you count PS3) consoles.
11:35am Smile upon realizing that I don't have an old man brain incapable of dealing with technology.
Trev's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:36
Trev
"Why does the battery level need to be pretty high for an update to happen?"
Because if the battery dies or the power cord gets knocked loose while flashing the firmware, it will probably brick the system. It's the same reason updating a router explicitly discourages doing so over wireless; any interruption equals a fucked up device. This is the "warning: coffee may be hot" for retards that would, well, be retards and blame Sony when they try to upgrade with 1% battery power left.
Filt's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:36
Filt
@Wolfrider: Well, kudos to you for being one of the 0.5% of consumers who won't be as fucked over by "upgrading" to the PSPGo. At least you have a girlfriend that can enjoy your UMD library. For the rest of the general populace, they won't be as "lucky".
Moloks's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:40
Moloks
9:07pm: Switched my DSi on.

Yeah, it's that easy to use the DS, that's why it's for kids and the PSP is for hardcore gamers.
/sarcasm
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:40
Jim Sterling
Trev: The main problem though is that it waits for the battery to charge for way longer than it needs to. This isn't the first time I've had to charge the PSP before installing Firmware. The actual install process is a matter of minutes. The battery does not have to be that high. S'fucking retarded.
Ghost2047's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:43
Ghost2047
That sounds like under 3 hours of utter ball ache, the kind you get when the seam of your underwear starts to ride high and starts cutting away at your scrotum, you spend ages adjusting it for a minute's relief only for it to once again creep up with agonising discomfort once again.
Question: What IS the point in a new firmware update for a brand new machine? Why not have the firmware installed from the get go?
bardock's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:43
bardock
"The update will start automatically when the charge level is high enough to perform the update."

this is something i hate about psps. you need roughly 85% battery life to update the damn things but you probably only burn through about 3% doing so.

assuming you ever actually got to use it, how do the buttons feel? they look remarkably uncomfortable and not nearly raised enough in every picture ive seen, and its d-pad looks just as terrible as the 1000's.


also cunt is the greatest verb ive ever heard and i need that zhang liao gashapon thing.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:48
Jim Sterling
"assuming you ever actually got to use it, how do the buttons feel? they look remarkably uncomfortable and not nearly raised enough in every picture ive seen, and its d-pad looks just as terrible as the 1000's."

Surprisingly not as bad as they look. This is coming from someone with massive fat man hands, too. It takes a moment to get used to the fact that the analog nub is indented, but once you do, it's actually not bad at all. Might even feel a little more comfortable than the older model PSPs, but I've not had a hugely intense play session on the PSPgo yet to test that theory.
Guncannon's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:52
Guncannon
"I am just going outside and may be some time."

I never expected a video games blog to reference Scott's Antarctic expedition. Again, Jim has proven that he is the King of Blogging, in addition to being King of Games.
byrc's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:52
byrc
WOW!

My experience was nothing like that.

*Note I have a wireless N router, a ps3 slim, an iMac 24" with bluetooth, and psp-3000

Here's mine:

10:30am: bought pspgo (black)

11:00am: charged it

12:00pm: connected to wifi (i know my WEP key)

12:05pm: Updated my pspgo

12:25pm: Update finished (took about 20 minutes, installation took longer than the download process)

12:30pm: Decided to redownload my ff7 copy I bought a couple of weeks ago. I switched on wifi, login to my psn account and went to my download list and downloaded ff7

12:50pm: FF7 download complete (1.3gb file, took about 20 minutes)

01:00pm: I wanted to transfer my psp game saves, psp/psone games and other files. I hooked my memory stick to a memory card reader to my iMac.

01:05pm: After 5 minutes of syncing my psp's bluetooth to my iMac. I finally got a connection

01:10pm: I transfer about 3.5gb of files to my psp, took about 5 minutes, through bluetooth

01:15pm: I was playing with my copy of FF7 on my pspgo with my psp game save.

This is pretty damn true. Actual time stamps maybe off but the amount of time it took to do everything is completely true. I actually timed my downloads, transfers, and installations.


I have no idea why Jim had such a hard time.

It's really goddamn easy. Just make sure you sign in to your psn account and you shouldn't worry about licenses and all that other nonsense.

Jim WTF is wrong with you? Are you that technologically disabled?
Aurain's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:53
Aurain
Why's it so fucking small.

As for the battery needing to be pretty high?
If it's making changes to the BIOS, it'll be trying to avoid Data Corruption at all costs. If you fuck your BIOS, you're not in good shape.

3003 ftw dogs.
JulianProxy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:53
JulianProxy
Okay, I think I would have started with the PS3 after Sony failed on the Pro Duo to Micro thing, but considering that the PSP should be independent of the PS3 it's completely understandable that you'd try the software that they fucking bundled with the PSP Go.

If I sound all, "Well, I could have figured it out," I don't mean to. I don't have Windows at home, so the Media Go software wouldn't have been an option for me, anyway.

Also, where the hell was the manual in all this? This seems like a pretty common task for a first time user. The manual should explain this. That's, you know, why they printed it.

Sony fucked this up big time. All on their own.
Trev's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:57
Trev
Jim: They're playing it safe. Lets say 5% (just to pick a number) battery power from a brand new battery is just barely enough to upgrade the system, so they set the minimum power requirement to that. Someone with a older battery tries it and their system is literally ruined forever because 5% is actually less power on their tired old battery. Maybe it should have been 10 or 20 percent, or maybe they set it to 80 percent so no one can possibly fuck it up unless they unplug the system and yank out the battery half way through.

You and I both know better but there are people that don't. If the safety net wasn't there, people would throw fits over firmware upgrades ruining their system "because it just shut off and now it doesn't work!"
byrc's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:59
byrc
I have no idea where people get the idea you need a ps3 to make your games and game save work on your pspgo.

Just make sure you login to your psn account

You don't need media go either. It's just a lazy man's sync software for retards
Primo's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 16:59
Primo
7:50pm: Why the fuck is it installing Quicktime on my fucking computer?

7:55pm: Seriously, why the fuck is it doing this?

That was my favorite part.
ghets's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 17:00
ghets
Ive never understood why the PSP wont let you do the firmware shit when you have the charger plugged in and its got all the juice it could possibly need. Having to wait 30 minutes for a fully charged battery is fucking ridiculous.
Aurain's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 17:06
Aurain
@ghets

Pretty sure mine does...

The fact the Charger Cable is 2 inches long is the big problem with that.
pedrovay2003's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 17:07
pedrovay2003
@ byrc

That's still like 3 hours, dude. You shouldn't have to wait 3 hours to get everything set up. It's a damn handheld on top of that.
Destin Legarie's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/02/2009 17:07
Destin Legarie
I stopped reading when I realized Jim purchased a PSPgo. I have lost all respect.
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