hot  /  reviews  /  video  /  blogs  /  forum

Destructoid vs. Frontierville: Talking sh*t

4:00 PM on 07.27.2010 // Jim Sterling
  @JimSterling

The fine editors of Destructoid are hard-hitting journalists dedicated to giving you, the hardcore gamer, all the facts fit to flaunt. This is why, for the past several days, we have been clobbering snakes, scaring bears, and feeding chickens in the name of science and JOURNALISM. That's right, folks ... Destructoid has been playing FrontierVille

Today, we compare our poop. This is the most low-brow discussion of FrontierVille yet, and considering we've already made countless jokes about "whacking" and "bonus wood," that's really saying something. Let's read on!

From: Nick Chester
To: Dale North, Conrad Zimmerman, Jim Sterling
Subject: Let's compare our animal dung collection!

So far, I have only collected a single pile of pig shit. I'm wondering if anyone else has amassed a more sizable collection. Please share, my FrontierVille friends!

From: Conrad
To: Nick, Dale, Jim

I have a lot of chicken shit and a few brush brownies, which I think were dropped by my sheep. Also, this may not be the last time I send you a gift-wrapped pile of feces, Nick. UPS tracking number inbound...

From: Jim
To: Conrad, Nick, Dale

Considering the amount of chickens I have, it's hardly surprising that most of my shit has come out of a clucking anus. I've got one lump of crap from my sheep as well. I've been trying to make my pig blast out a chocolate slurry of backdoor clay, but unfortunately I can't get its gasping squinter to squirt any muddy treacle no matter how hard I try.

From: Nick
To: Jim, Conrad, Dale

What? Why do you have so much chicken crap? Mine have never pooped. Do you guys think they're sick? I'm worried. 

From: Jim
To: Nick, Conrad, Dale

You can have some of my chickens if you want, Nick. They shit everywhere.

From: Nick
To: Jim, Conrad, Dale

I appreciate the offer, but I'm concerned about my own right now. I only have a few (two, actually), but neither have taken a dump and I'm already level 7. This doesn't seem right. Attached is a picture of my chickens; do they look okay to you? That's Dale, by the way, who is getting way too close to my chickens for my liking. In fact, I'm not exactly sure what he's doing to it. Dale looks surprised and the chicken looks... pleased. 

From: Dale
To: Nick, Jim, Conrad

Oh scat!

Photo Gallery: (3 images)
Click to zoom - browse by swipe, or use arrow keys




 Reblog (or) Blog Reply

Jim Sterling, Former Reviews Editor
 Follow Blog + disclosure JimSterling Tips
Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f... more   |   staff directory

Get more destructoid:   We're indie-run, blogging for the love of it, and our site will always be free. Optionally, you can support us and get: (1) Faster pages from our cloud server (3) Wide(r)screen (3) No big ads on Dtoid, Japanator, Tomopop, or Flixist (4) Auto contest entries, and (5) Dibs on betas & downloads. Try it out

 Setup email comments

Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our moderators, and flag the user (we will ban users dishing bad karma). Can't see comments? Apps like Avast or browser extensions can cause it. You can fix it by adding *.disqus.com to your whitelists.


  Around the web (login to improve these)




Back to Top


We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -