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Destructoid: The Italian Restaurant

1:55 PM on 04.01.2007 // Niero Gonzalez
  @destructoid

Diversification is important for a growing gaming business, as is stockpiling marinara sauce and not making offensive Mario impressions when Italian people visit. This is why we broke in a local Bucca De Beppo and completely vandalized their restaurant, temporarily taking over the San Francisco franchise for a few minutes before we were calmly instructed to "stop being complete assholes", as  whispered softly by a large midwestern woman standing line.  Her tender chin jiggled with content! I guess she took offense to our suggestion of fat nuns rampaging through the ocean with a large Destructoid sign.  I'm like "lady what the hell, that would totally sell spaghetti!"

While it was fleeting and the chef wrestled us to the ground when Husky attempted to steal his hat, it was a milestone moment in Destructoid restaurant history. Aggressive expansion plans across Tibet and Nigeria begins in 2008. If you're interested in becoming a part of this lucrative opportunity, start sharpening your scissors and doing triangle push-ups.

 

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Niero Gonzalez, Internet Slumlord
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