Every year, all of the videogame Web sites put together a list of predictions of what games they think will be hinted at, talked about, or dramatically unveiled at the world’s biggest annual gaming convention: E3. In fact, we tend to do the same thing -- just last year we did one of those traditional predictions posts as well.
This year, however, we decided to do something a little different (this is Destructoid, after all). Instead of a normal list of educated guesses based on the varying leaks and rumors that have been cropping up as of late, I decided to explore the seedy streets of Los Angeles to find a real-life psychic to do the predicting for us!
And, boy, was my journey a resounding success!
The psychic I discovered -- she goes by the name Madame Christine, or her full name, Madame Christine of the Ether (amazing!) -- sat down with me and did full readings on the three major videogame companies: Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony. In addition, she asked her magic pendulum (I kid you not) a slew of questions provided by you, the community, about specific topics concerning playable games and what-could-be shocking announcements.
So, what was the result? Could a random Los Angeles psychic who knows nothing about videogames make more accurate predictions than someone in the gaming industry? What did Madame Christine have to say about next week’s big show? You really have to hit the jump to find out the absolutely fascinating results. You don’t want to miss this!
First, a little setup.
I met Madame Christine -- who I agreed to not photograph -- on a late Friday night in her own studio apartment on the east side of Hollywood. Fortunately for this article, the excitement I had to talk with her superseded my practical side that was telling me to not wander into a psychic’s apartment alone and in a rough neighborhood. Did I mention I was alone?
Lucky for me, I wasn’t murdered. Instead, I was greeted with a warm smile and a nice cup of amaranth tea as I entered the very accommodating psychic’s incense-filled home.
The first thing I had to do was pull out my three videogame controllers -- I had brought along a Wii Remote, an Xbox 360 wireless controller, and a DualShock 3 to help with the readings.
After she finished lighting the last of her (what seemed like) thousands of candles, the two of us sat down on a luxurious red velvet cloth ... and the predictions began.
The first thing Madame Christine wanted to do was a very detailed Tarot Card reading for each of the three main companies (Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony). After setting out the appropriate controller (first up: Wiimote!), Madame Christine began shuffling the mysterious deck.
Okay, a side note: I had no idea how Tarot Cards worked before this night. The only knowledge I had was from fortune tellers in movies, and, according to Madame Christine, those portrayals were borderline offensive.
So, for the uninitiated, here is a breakdown of what goes into a Tarot Card reading:
There are ten cards chosen by me, the person being read. Before choosing the ten cards, I had to channel the company Madame Christine was going to predict. In this case, I tightly held the controller representing that company, cleared my mind, and tried to think of an image of the respective console. And, no, I’m not kidding: once I was there, surrounded by the mysticism of it all, I took all of this really seriously. It was amazing.
Each of the ten cards represents something about the subject’s past, present, and future.
The breakdown works out to be something like this:
Card #1 – The current situation that the company is in.
So, as you can see, I got much more than just a simple “Will Microsoft do a good job at E3?” reading. I got a freakin’ detailed breakdown of these companies’ futures for the entire next year! And it was all endlessly fascinating!
You might want to go grab a drink or a quick bite to eat before reading on. This post is epic!
Let’s start with Nintendo. Here is what the company's Tarot Card reading looked like:
And what did the psychic have to say about each card?
Card #1 – Four of Cups
Card #2 – The Star
Card #3 – The Moon
Card #4 – King of Swords
Card #5 – The Empress
Card #6 – Seven of Wands
Card #7 – King of Cups (reversed)
Card #8 – Nine of Swords
Card #9 – Judgment
Card #10 – Two of Wands (reversed)
Microsoft's Tarot Cards came out like this:
And what did the psychic have to say about each card?
Card #1 – The Chariot
Card #2 – Queen of Pentacles
Card #3 – The Magician
Card #4 – Page of Pentacles
Card #5 – Queen of Wands
Card #6 – King of Pentacles
Card #7 – King of Cups
Card #8 – Eight of Pentacles
Card #9 – Page of Wands
Card #10 – Five of Cups
And, finally, let's take a look at Sony's Tarot layout:
And what did the psychic have to say about each card?
Card #1 – The Sun (reversed)
Card #2 – The Eight of Pentacles
Card #3 – Ace of Cups
Card #4 – The Devil (reversed)
Card #5 – Queen of Pentacles
Card #6 – Seven of Pentacles
Card #7 – Six of Pentacles (reversed)
Card #8 – Temperance
Card #9 – The Magician
Card #10 – The World
The cards speak for themselves, but it looks like all three companies are going to have a very interesting E3 and an even more interesting year!
While I tried to stay completely silent during the dramatic readings, I couldn’t help but gasp ever-so-quietly at a couple of Madame Christine’s predictions: They seemed to be pretty dead-on! Do you agree? Most interesting (to me, at least) was the revelation that Nintendo would be focusing on a lot of sequels at E3 and that this may be -- finally! -- the year of Sony (something the company has been promising since the PS3 was released).
But now I know you want some real specifics about what may happen at E3, right? This is the part where you (unknowingly) got involved!
A couple of weeks ago I posted a very cryptic community blog post asking you guys for a list of yes/no questions pertaining to things you were generally curious about, concerning what may or may not happen at this year’s E3. Well, to say you were responsive is putting it very mildly: You left more than 100 really good questions in the comments! (Sadly, I could only use half of these -- if your question wasn’t selected, don’t be offended!)
After the Tarot Cards were finished, Madame Christine lit another candle, surrounded it with various stones and gems, and pulled out a clear crystal hanging from a skinny chain.
Madame Christine was going to answer all of my community questions using something called pendulum divination.
Basically -- I say “basically,” but there is absolutely nothing basic about all of this -- Madame Christine holds the pendulum in one hand and dangles it over the other, palm up. After I ask a question, Madame Christine closes her eyes and, no joke, the pendulum starts to spin either clockwise or counter-clockwise.
Now, I never really believed in any of this psychic craziness, but, let me just tell you, after meeting with Madame Christine, I am a believer! True, Madame Christine could have been moving the pendulum herself, but I saw that thing swinging like crazy with my very eyes, and her hand was perfectly still. It was some crazy shlt, I’ll tell you that right now.
So let’s get to the very specific (and super fun!) E3 prediction questions! (Thanks again for all the amazing input -- you guys rule!)
KyleGamgee asks: Will Rare announce Killer Instinct for PSN/XBLA?
MrSadistic asks: Will Sony announce The Lost and Damned (GTA IV expansion) for the PlayStation 3?
Pedrovay2003 asks: Will Nintendo announce it is publishing Fatal Frame IV in the US and Europe?
SilverDragon1979 asks: Will Capcom announce a new Strider game for the Xbox 360 and the PS3 that will release a couple of months after a remake of the original Strider game for PSN and XBLA?
SilverDragon1979 asks: Will Nintendo announce a new Star Fox game?
SilverDragon1979 asks: Will Sony decide to add a party system and cross-game XMB voice chat to the PlayStation 3?
SilverDragon1979 asks: Will Sega announce a new, current generation Ecco the Dolphin game?
Tubatic asks: Will a new Mega Man 2D side-scroller be announced?
AKK asks: Will No More Heroes 2 be playable?
eternalplayer2345 asks: Will Rare announce Blast Corps 2?
eternalplayer2345 asks: Will Sin and Punishment 2 finally get a release date?
Mirax asks: Will the new Zelda game for the Wii be at least mentioned?
Bluexy asks: Will Square-Enix finally announce their new MMO?
Bluexy asks: Will Heroes of Telara, from Trion, be the surprise hit MMO announcement?
Sweetchuck asks: Will LostWinds be announced as a full retail game?
FalconReaper asks: Will Square Enix announce the release date of Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days?
HarassmentPanda asks: Will Sony drop the price on the PlayStation 3?
Takeshi asks: Will there be any HUGE unexpected exclusives revealed?
Takeshi asks: Will Microsoft reveal the new Xbox?
Takeshi asks: Will Sony reveal the new PSP?
BS3 Owner asks: Will a brand new Yakuza game for the PlayStation 3 that is set in the West be revealed?
DanlHaas asks: Will we see Fallout: New Vegas?
DanlHaas asks: Will Capcom announce yet another retro-style game to follow up Mega Man 9?
Daxelman asks: Will Platinum Games announce a spiritual successor to Okami?
Corak asks: Will a Destructoid editor get lost on the way back to their hotel and meet another strange homeless person?
Corak asks: Will there be swine flu masks for sale at inflated prices, perhaps branded with developer logos?
Artemus asks: Will Accolade rise from the grave and announce a new Bubsy game?
Puppy Licks asks: Will LucasArts announce a new Full Throttle game?
Garrison asks: Will Nintendo release Mother 3 on the DS?
gatorsax2010 asks: Will all the recent 3D Realms/Duke Nukem Forever revelations turn out to be some elaborate marketing scheme?
gatorsax2010 asks: Will 2K have someone in a creepy Big Sister costume roaming the floor?
CelicaCrazed asks: Is there a Sega Dreamcast 2 in existence?
CelicaCrazed asks: Will a new 2D Sonic game for PSN/Xbox Live/WiiWare be announced?
Tubatic asks: Will Dragon Quest IX make an appearance this year?
DanGale asks: Will we see anything of a new F-Zero?
DanGale asks: Will Mirror's Edge 2 be officially announced?
DanGale asks: Will a new Treasure game be announced?
kagatoASUKA89 asks: Will Modern Warfare 2 be playable?
Guagloves asks: Will Nintendo announce a Paper Mario game for the DS?
Guagloves asks: Will Microsoft reveal a motion controller?
Guagloves asks: Will Eternal Darkness 2 get announced?
Cowboy TTop asks: Will Assassin's Creed 2 be playable?
Tha Meat asks: Will Apple be at E3 promoting the iPhone/iPod Touch’s gaming capabilities?
Eagle 88 asks: Any new information on Valkyria Chronicles?
Perri asks: Will Red Steel 2 be playable?
Perri asks: Will EA announce an exercise game for Microsoft's rumored motion device?
Perri asks: Will God of War III be playable?
And, finally, a few from me:
Was the recent announcement of the Metroid Prime Trilogy for the Wii planned to coincide with the shocking announcement of a brand new Metroid game?
Will Pikmin 3 be playable?
Even though Ubisoft said there would be no Beyond Good & Evil at the show, will Beyond Good & Evil 2 make a surprise appearance?
Pretty gosh darn interesting, huh?
While some of these predictions may seem obvious (the announcement of the new PSP), others come as a huge surprise (Strider game!). And some ... well, no offense to the psychic ... but some of these don’t have a chance in hell of being true (a Blast Corps sequel? Really?). But, then again, who am I to question the power of the spirits?
After all of this (epic) information, what do you think? Do you think Madame Christine of the Ether was dead-on, or does she need to throw away all those magic crystals? Which predictions do you think are the most accurate? The most insane? There is only one more week before we find out exactly what will happen at E3. Will Madame Christine reveal how gifted she truly is ... or will I not be calling her back for another reading next year?
Sound off in the comments!
Final Fantasy: Record Keeper is out today, and it kicks the crap out of All the Bravest
10:30 AM on 03.26.2015