Will Smith (back when he was a non-threatening hip hop artist, instead of a non-threatening movie star) released a song called Summertime along with the Robin-to-his-Batman, DJ Jazzy Jeff (who you might remember from Will Smith's sitcom, and absolutely nothing else). It was an urban ballad to the joys of summer. The cook outs, the 40's of malt liquor, the fly-a@# b*tches in thongs... no, wait... that was Dr Dre's Let Me Ride. Hell...
Ok, so Summertime is really easily forgettable, and it may or may not have actually been about the summer time, but it brings me to a good point; summer has arrived.
The sun is out, flowers are blooming, giant insects are eating our children and the elderly are dying with impunity. While it may seem terrifying after 10 months of utter, Siberian darkness filled with kindly yetis and even more kindly St Bernards, I'm here to help you get through this rough, shiny, happy, deadly time.
Here are a few pointers to help you make it through.
It's my sincere hope that these tips will help you to survive what may very well be your final days. God speed.
(Editor's Note: Nex panders to our Latino audience out of spite for our Alaskan audience.)
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