Ten years of talk, constant controversy. A messy lawsuit, multiple generations, several consoles and endless media coverage have all gone into Too Human, and with Silicon Knights' child having finally survived a difficult birth to be released in North America and Europe, we finally got to see what all the fuss was about.
With so much hype and expectation, it would take no less than something spectacular to make Too Human worth the time and the effort. Has it all paid off? Is Too Human really the hallmark of innovation and storytelling that it was promised to be? Or rather, is Too Human an overdeveloped, underwhelming collection of bad ideas and even worse pretention?
Hit the jump to find out.
Too Human (Xbox 360)
Developed by Silicon Knights
Published by Microsoft
Released on August 19, 2008
Too Human attempts to blend Norse Mythology with science fiction to retell the beginning of The Ragnarok, that which the Vikings considered their end of the world, when their Gods, the Aesir, would be destroyed in a war with Loki and his children. Playing the role of Baldur, it is your job to wage war against the mechanical horde with whom Loki has sided and protect humanity as an Aesir.
While an interesting concept, the premise for Too Human quickly becomes absurd as the Norse mythology is shoehorned in, often awkwardly, and with no degree of subtlety. As much as I respect what the writers have tried to do, having what amounts to a glorified Space Marine refer to a woman as a "wench" before talking about his "weird" just comes off as ridiculous. This chapter of the series -- part one of a proposed trilogy -- is very shallow beyond its Norse roots and seems to exist solely to show how clever Silicon Knights is for referring to robots as goblins and pretending Odin is some kind of artificial intelligence.
The story has its redeeming qualities of course -- Loki fulfills a stereotypical but enjoyable role as the sneering, gloating villain while the disembodied talking head of Mimir can be somewhat amusing. In this suspiciously short eight-hour game, however, very little exposition is actually had. It takes eight hours for the game merely to say "Loki is a bad guy. You will probably have to fight him in the sequels." Ultimately, despite a few glimmering moments of promise, the game ended (abruptly) with me feeling flat, unfulfilled and frankly not very interested in what might happen in Too Human 2.
Sadly, the story is Too Human's best feature and things roughly go downhill from there. When it comes to gameplay, Too Human's is some of the worst action roleplaying I've ever had to encounter. Much like the storyline, everything works well in theory -- you use the right analog stick to control Baldur's attacks, pushing it in the direction you want him to attack, and using some button presses and stick twitching to create a few extra moves. Sadly however, when put into practice, the combat falls flat on its face. The analog controls lack depth of any kind, get really old really quick and are unresponsive, only working when they want to, the controller input struggling to cope with the various commands Too Human demands of it.
The combat is incredibly badly designed, and to further add to the frustration is the fact that it is incredibly unbalanced. Baldur has no ability to block, nor can he regenerate health without relying on item drops (unless you choose the right character class). His only means of defending attack is a pathetic dodge move that more often than not sees you rolling right into one of the thousand bullets that fly across the screen at any given moment. The game throws hundreds of ridiculously strong enemies at you, some of which are nearly impervious to bullets but will explode when defeated in close quarters, showering you with status effects that sap your health (and seem to last forever) and some giant foes with a tutorial for killing them that appears only AFTER you have defeated two of them.
And why is the game so hard? It's because it's not actually hard at all. Silicon Knights, seemingly knowing that they have made a game that would be impossible to beat by conventional standards, has made Baldur invincible. If you die, you will respawn with very little in the way of punishment -- except for one big problem.
The Valkyrie cutscene.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the worst piece of game design I have had the displeasure of suffering through in the past five years. Every time you die, you are forced to watch a 25-second-long cutscene in which a Valkyrie descends and carries Baldur off. It is the same scene every time -- the same animation, the same awful music, and the same length. All of it unskippable, and all of it happening often. It may not sound like much, but when you experience it for yourself, the frustration is almost unbearable. The game itself has been designed to kill you, and often, and one can only surmise that it's because the developers have found this idea of the Valkyrie so important, so damn compelling, that we all have to pay attention to it over and over again. Well it's not important, nor is it compelling, and it's not clever in the least. If you are going to play Too Human, then it is advisable that you bring a book with you. You are going to need something to do during the regular, obnoxious periods of forced downtime.
The worst part about the game is that it could have been excellent. Many times during the course of the experience, Too Human threatens to be a fun and engaging experience, only for those threats to remain empty. It can sometimes be a thrill to move your analog stick from goblin to goblin, hacking and slashing away before knocking some foes skyward and finishing them off mid-air. However, it's not long before your enjoyment is broken utterly and completely by yet another unavoidable death, or Baldur choosing not to obey your limited commands.
The action is also broken up by numerous trips to Cyberspace -- utterly pointless little exercises in which Baldur visits a virtual reality to push over trees and open doors. I don't know if they are supposed to be puzzles (none of them are puzzling in the least) but I do know that they are incredibly boring.
There is at least plenty on offer for loot fans, as the amount of armor and weaponry you can pick up or create is staggering. In true RPG form, you can level up and assign skill points, but the RPG elements are very limited indeed and it never feels like skill points really matter. You will also be able to choose from one of five classes, including the vanilla Champion who is capable with both melee attacks and guns, the Bioengineer who can heal himself and allies, or the melee-specializing Bezerker. The classes are at least interesting, and sorting through ones loot to create the perfect set of armor is rather enjoyable, but these high points only serve to make you wish they were part of an altogether better game.
Graphically, things aren't much better either. There is significant framerate dropping from the very first moment the game starts, and some of the animation is incredibly crude. There are also bugs and glitches, such as enemies that stop moving. On the sound front, there is some solid voice acting, but the actors are struggling to make credible an absolutely ludicrous script and the amount of times characters regurgitate lines during the game is atrocious. I really don't need to hear one of my allies say such inspired phrases as "I didn't even break a sweat" and "I almost broke a sweat" three-hundred times a mission.
The in-game camera is also the worst one of recent memory, and I found myself having to wrestle with it countless times as it wildly swung around and attempted to fight my character's movement with every step. There are various camera modes to choose from and all of them are bad. It's 2008, not 1998, and there are ways of positioning the camera these days that don't see your character flailing around like a maniac while you try and cope with the spastic visuals.
At least the artistic style is damn good. The way the Aesir and their robotic enemies look is fantastic, as is the architecture of the game. The world of Too Human is fully realized and were the writing or gameplay just as good, I'd have loved to engross myself what Silicon Knights has created.
I want to say that Too Human is flawed, but it's not. A flaw would suggest that mistakes were made, but when you see the game in action, it becomes quite clear that everything has been done on purpose. Silicon Knights made no mistakes when it chose unresponsive analog controls, nor was it an accident that the game is designed with regular player death and repetitive unskippable cutscenes in mind. These arrogant decisions were all made on purpose and as such, Too Human is its creators' perfect vision. It's just a shame that the vision is absolutely terrible and should never have been turned into a videogame. Thank God it's as short as it is, because I was more relieved than disappointed to find it was suddenly all over.
Score: 2.0 (Awful. Maybe the idea was kind of clever, or you may have fun accidentally, but everything else is horrendous.)
Also, I'd just like to mention that Jim has been an article writing BEAST the last couple of days. Aces Jim, Aces.
It's not great but the LEAST I would even think about giving it is a 5 :|
Also whyd u wait so damn long to review it? It's not like the review is gonna help a single person who wants to purchase it now.....
So I guess I shouldn't buy this, huh?
Go Fuck Yourself.
-Scrixx
Workman totally called a 2.0 destructoid review in the video-game jocks podcast
I've been playing the game with no problem and it is fun. Maybe if you tried looking a little deeper you wouldn't have had to see the Valkyrie so often.
It's like the encounters are as randomly and ridiculously generated as the item names. No one in their right mind could possibly design the encounters like that.
The combat works when you have lots of little guys that die with one hit, it's pretty fun when you slide around butchering countless minions.
But the combat system instantly breaks when you encounter foes that take like dozens of hits to die. Because then you have to stand still, and that's when you really see how awful the analog stick combat is. And then it breaks further because you fight those guys who take lots of hits by the dozen.
And then it breaks even more because there are enemies shooting freakin' grenades and lasers and big guys with AoE ground attacks all coming for you, while you are stuck in the middle of a pack of enemies that all take forever to die.
And then it breaks yet again because some of those guys explode and leave you on fire or poisoned and there's nothing you can do about it, even if you survive the battle you can only watch as Baldur's health drops until you die.
I really believe Too Human could have been good. It's just that all that potential was completely runied by bad ideas and even worse execution of those bad ideas. I feel cheated. I feel personally insulted by Dyack and co. Their incompetence robbed me of a game that could have, and in capable hands, would have, been good.
It's TWICE as good as Eternity's Child.
So will Dyack be getting a "owned by 'Toid" tattoo on his forehead or what? That's what I've been hearing...
Because it was only released in England this Friday. Not even I can break street dates and for some reason, nobody at Microsoft wanted to give me a review copy ;-)
I need to relieve my stress with some Mario. And maybe some Zelda. And Double Dragon 2.
Besides, bad game is bad. I once knew an old man. He must've been like 70, and he was a jerk. A genuine asshole. He had 70 years to NOT be a jerk anymore. This game had ten years to not suck. That old man must be dead by now. I hope Too Human is dead as well before the trilogy comes to an end. The other 2 games may be wonderful, but the series will always be bloodstained by this obnoxious effort.
Where are all the anti-Sterling trolls? If a nit-picky, no life-having fanboyish attention whore is one thing, it's punctual.
Business as usual.
Do not even mention Denis Crackass in the same sentence as (moving on to the next sentence). As aforementioned, Kojima, Will Wright, or Sid Meier. They would all bury that fat bastard.
I barely even NOTICED he was playing Too Human.
Shall not buy game. Check.
I can say that I agreed for a 2.0 score until I played as the commando. I'm now giving it a 4.0... hehe
I like the concept of being able to shoot two different targets with a pair of pistolas. Other than that addition of style, the game fell flat and I'm glad to have played it, just in case Denis Dyack pulls his head out of his ass and makes the next sequel playable by all classes and has a writer that doesn't force too much and not enough all at the same time...
YES! I agree 100 percent...Also, Who the fuck thought that spinning the camera around like a moron while you are in the middle of a fight was a good idea? I mean, how much Canadian kind bud where theses guys smoking when they made Too Human?
The good part of all of this is most of Too Human's problems can be patched.
The really fucking bad part is it probably won't be patched because Denis doesn't think there are any problems.
I had my fun with it...Now it is time to move on.
Mr. Dyack didn't send you a copy? Every post from that guy had you believing that game was pure money, and like you said in your review, maybe he did create his vision of the game perfectly, in his mind. You know Dennis can make a game though, at least I've heard they had a couple sucessful titles before Too Human.
Ah well, at least I can pick this up in a couple weeks from the bargain bin.
WiC bored you and this shit entertain you?
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On topic: I didn't care for the demo, but I will give the game a rental. Who knows, people said Kingdom Under Fire:Circle of Doom was shit, but I played the hell out of that game. Good review either way.