Destructoid review: The New Xbox Experience

11:26 AM on 11.19.2008   |   Jim Sterling

106 comments

Today marks what Microsoft is calling the most significant event in entertainment since the birth of color television. Most of us just call it "that thing MS is doing so it can be like Nintendo."

Yes, it's the launch of the New Xbox Experience, the Xbox 360's dashboard update with a brand new look, functionality and avatars. Naturally, we have all downloaded it and are working our way around, getting ourselves a sweet taste of THE FUTURE.

With a morning spent pottering around the NXE, what does Destructoid think? Read on for the Destructoid review of the New Xbox Experience.

Once you get the prompt to download the update and sign in, the first thing you'll have to do is create an avatar. It's not an option and you can't save it for later. There are a selection of starting avatars to help and this is where, I think, the 360's install base is going to have its first problem.

The lineup of preset avatars looks exactly like a gay pride march.

This is not something that is going to please the general Xbox 360 population, considering 90% of them are homophobic. Nevertheless, if they want to get back to Gears of War 2 and feel like a man again, they will have to play a glorified version of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.  

Avatar creation is very straightforward and, shockingly, quite similar to the creation of Nintendo's Miis. Choosing from a variety of pre-made shapes, you can pick out noses, eyes, hairstyles and mouths to try and create yourself. A soulless, creepy, living-doll version of yourself.

It feels a bit more personal than the Mii system, especially with the ability to choose some real clothing and accessories. As much of a girl as it makes me feel, I can't deny that it was quite enjoyable to rifle through clothing to find a look that I feel is very "me." I also think the NXE is making me more gay than I already was.

Also, yes, my avatar has a monocle, and yes, I appreciate the messages I'm getting sent telling me that my monocle is awesome. 

Here I am. And before any of you mention it, that's as fat as they make them. Wankers. 

Once the avatar business is out of the way, it's time to truly experience the future of home entertainment. The first thing I noticed was that the future cuts the themes in half. Yes, themes have been incorporated into the NXE, but they've basically been ruined. Half of the background is always a kind of grey floor, which means only the top 50% of your chosen theme is visible.

It also only really shows one of the theme's blades, with other backgrounds only showing up if you click on specific items. It's not very good, and I'm somewhat shocked that Microsoft was still selling themes once the NXE had been announced, knowingly taking money for something that was due not to function properly ... oh wait, I just described the Xbox 360.

The overall look of the NXE itself is very trendy, but surprisingly not that bad at all. Despite glitzing it up with pretty pictures, the menus are functional and easy to use once you know where stuff is. The friends list is a bit longer to scroll through, since you are now cycling along images of peoples' avatars with huge background pictures and the box art of whatever game they are playing. That said, it provides a bit more information at a glance, with the option to click on a friend and see more if needed. 

The one huge compliment I have to give to the NXE is that it's fast. Compared to the old dashboard, it is a hugely significant improvement. There's no more waiting for the 360 to load the menu, and everything feels incredibly fluid. The ability to cycle through a table of contents instead of the old blades feels a lot easier and looks so much more clean. You no longer have to wait for your list of XBLA games to load up, something which used to take quite a while for someone like me, who has a lot of games on the hard drive.

I am very impressed with the loading speeds so far, especially since I'd feared that all the new aesthetics and avatar bullshit would slow the whole thing down even more. The fact that Microsoft somehow made it faster as well as prettier is a nice surprise.

Looking through the Marketplace is also a lot more enjoyable now that box art is used for XBLA games. The only problem is that with some of the games, it's hard to read the title on the box art, and you have to squint at the tiny descriptive text underneath. Some games don't even have box art yet, so you just get a placeholder image, which defeats the purpose. Fortunately, you can get into a deeper browser, which is a lot clearer. You can also sort through games by alphebetical categories, making it easer to track down a title.

One issue I am having at the moment is that a lot of the Marketplace is sending me back error messages and claiming that information cannot be retrieved from Xbox Live. I cannot, for example, download A Kingdom for Keflings. I would imagine these are teething bugs that will be fixed soon, if they're not already resolved as I'm typing this.

Unfortunately, I am having the same trouble with the new Community Games feature, which is basically Xbox Live Arcade, but cheaper. I did manage to try out one game, Colosseum. Quick two-word review on that game -- it's shit.

On the subject of games, pressing the guide button while playing now brings a different result. Rather than the old singular blade that swept in from the side, you basically get a mini-dashboard with its own small set of blades. I really like this, as it provides you a lot more control in a far easier way while you're in the middle of a game. Finding friends and checking up on a game's Achievements is a lot quicker and simpler now, and everything has its own very obvious section.

The NXE is pretty good, but I never expected it to be terrible. Is it the future? Hardly; it's just a new and prettier dashboard. Avatars are stupid, but they're somewhat fun to dick around with, and maybe they will have a use one day. The aesthetics and the faux-Apple trendiness of it all is something I can take or leave, but the speed and fluidity of the NXE is a real winner for me. 

Bullshit aside, Microsoft did some good work with this. The themes situation will be annoying for people who paid for them, but outside of that, everything on the NXE is either inoffensive, or an improvement.

It's still not better than color TV, though.