Welcome to Destructoid's second game review with our new format -- we're looking churn out at least one of these babies a week, so either get used to it, or type the phrase "wtf u gave zelda 4/10 why should I listen" into Word so you can copy and paste it as frequently as you like.

This week, Chad Concelmo and I have tackled Mario Party 8, the first-ever Mario Party title with Wii functionality. Not only that, but we've also got an exclusive Destructoid video review of the game, as well.

Are you a bad enough dude to read our reviews and then respond to them with unbridled agreement and/or vitriol? Let's find out. Hit that jump.

And always read the alt text.

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Chad Concelmo  

Wow, Anthony, regarding the gameplay aspects of Mario Party 8, you pretty much took the eight paragraphs out of my mouth. Everything you said is spot-on: from the single-player monstrosity to the unique and pleasantly varied board maps, all the comfort food you remember from past Mario Party games is here, only this time it's served up with a little Wii point and waggle.

And that's the thing: when it comes to the core mechanics of Mario Party 8, everything is, well, what you come to expect. And that, for me, is usually just fine and dandy.

I loved each and every one of the seven previous Mario Party games (okay, stop laughing), so needless to say, I was very much looking forward to this new Wii version. I love Nintendo. I love the Wii. And I love Mario Party. How could anything go wrong?

Oh, my fellow Mario Party loving friends, it pains me to say this; things went slightly awry this go-round.

My disappointment (and that is the perfect word) all comes down to the one big problem I had with Mario Party 8: the presentation.

But a Mario Party game should primarily be about the minigames, right? Trust me, that is exactly what I thought and never in a million years did I think I would harp on something like aesthetics. I mean, the other Mario Party games weren't graphical works of art by any means. But when you start to play a game that actually (and obviously) takes a step back in terms of graphics and overall visual presentation you have to take notice (especially when it's on a shiny new system that should be doing these things better).

First of all, not counting the opening menus, the entire game (when played on a widescreen display) has two annoying, patterned borders on either side of the screen. And they are there through the game's entirety (yay, plasma burn-in!). True, these bars won't even show up for people playing on a standard television, but that doesn't mean their limited inclusion should just be ignored. If you, like many people out there, own a widescreen television set, be prepared to have all of your on-screen antics compressed into the center of the screen. It sounds like a minor thing, but it makes the numerous split-screen minigames look very small when next to a sea of wasted space. There is no excuse why a Nintendo-published title would choose to not support a widescreen mode on the Wii. It really makes no sense.

To make matters worse, the graphics have moved from the cute, colorful variety to a strange kind of grainy, neutral, almost "realistic" look. It is nice to see things changed up a bit, with the camera being moved more behind the characters, giving the boards a more engaging feel (complete with some nice soft focus backgrounds). But this change in graphical style, for some strange reason, doesn't mesh well with the Wii hardware and results in major slowdown throughout much of the game, completely ruining what could have been a welcome stylistic choice.

All of this sloppy presentation is a tough first impression and really detracts from the overall experience. As mentioned before, the Mario Party we know and love is there once you have the visual patience to find it, but why should you even have to search?

Without repeating too much of what Anthony said, yes, the Wiimote is used in some clever ways and, yes, of course, playing with four players is (still) a blast. But there is nothing revolutionary enough in the final product to warrant the glaring shortcomings plaguing the overall presentation. The lack of innovative between the Nintendo 64 Mario Party games and the ones on the GameCube was a lot more excusable since that console transition was more of a graphical one than anything. If this new Wii version can't even improve upon the graphics, at least offer more advanced and innovative Wiimote functionality to help launch the series forward. If anything, Mario Party 8 is a step back.

Sure, the game is fun in the long run, but I feel the only way the inevitable Mario Party 9 will genuinely innovate is for people to finally say "no" to a mediocre, rushed final product. Hopefully Mario Party 8 will be the final nail in the lazily produced coffin.

While Pushover Chad goes back and plays another round on Goomba's Booty Boardwalk with a goofy smile on his face (you get to ride dolphins, for crying out loud), Hardcore Chad is sticking to his guns and not offering his recommendation. Rent it for a series of satisfying thrills if you must, but try your best to hold out for a future, hopefully much improved, sequel.

Verdict: Rent It!
Score: 5.5

Destructoid Review Final Verdict

Final Score: 6.3 

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Also, a special request:

Does anyone know how to easily connect a camera/computer to a TV so you can take screenshots and/or footage from it directly? My inability to do this is why that one screenshot in this review has been from IGN, and why I simply shot the screen with my camera in the above video review. Any suggestions would be appreciated, as I do not know my technological thumb from my technological dick. This is the Reverend speaking, by the way, not Chad. I'm sure Chad knows exactly where his dick is.

It also bears mentioning that this article was proofread using the handy-dandy guide from the guys over at the Videogame Style Guide (that's right, it's one word). Unless I missed a typo or something somewhere, in which case said mistake is not their fault at all.

We're also fully aware that this score ended up almost identical to last week's Odin Sphere review, but them's the breaks with conflicting opinions.