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Destructoid review: Escape From Bug Island photo

Once in a long while, there's a game that leaves an indelible impression on your mind. It's the type of game that will stay with you for years to come -- so vivid, that you can imagine what the game was like years after without having to have ever replayed it. Needless to say, Escape From Bug Island is one of those games.

"Wait a minute, Brad! The game came out back in late July of last year! Why are you reviewing it now?" Why, that's a good question, nameless reader! I had been asking Eidos for a copy of Escape From Bug Island since May, but they had forgotten to send it to me. Instead, I was sent every other game that Eidos released (including Kane & Lynch), but never Bug Island. So, I attempted to track one down once I had given up on Eidos send me a copy, I ran into a bit of trouble.

Searching around stores, I wasn't able to find the game. In fact, Gamestop had removed it from their listings. Yet, a ray of light finally came last week, when Goozex user yoursisterispretty shipped me the game. Salvation! I finally got the chance to sit down and play Escape from Bug Island. Needless to say, this is a review you must read.

In other words, WELKUM 2 BUG ISLANDZ.

 

Escape From Bug Island (Wii)
Developed by Spike
Published by Eidos
Released on July 24th, 2007

"Hey guys, I heard about this place called Bug Island. You wanna go camping there?"
"Bug Island? Haven't people, like, never come back from there?"
"Ray, quit being such a pussy."

And thus, Ray, Michelle, and Mike make their way to Bug Island for a little camping trip. As the instruction manual dutifully told us, Ray, the protagonist, has a crush on Michelle, as they go to school together, while Mike is their friend who is too cool for school, or more notably, any sense of caring or friendship. Mike is well aware of the fact that you, Ray, have a crush on Michelle. So, in order to "help," he starts hitting on Michelle, creeping her out. If, say, you try to interject, Mike will just point his shotgun at you. And thus, your love runs off into the untold wilds of Bug Island, and Mike is going to go after her in order to "make out." But not before he teaches you how to fight!

Thankfully, Bug Island has a decently competent control scheme. You use the control stick to aim your attacks either high or low, and the strength of your swing determines how powerful your attack is. I've got a small problem with that, but we'll deal with it later. Shaking the controllers will have you dodge back and forth, or shake off attacking bugs. Well, that's all good and well, save for the fact that Mike will abruptly confess his love for you before the tutorial ends.

Now, armed with your trusted pointed stick, it's time to go off in sear--ohmygod that mantis is eating that man's face! The game's enemy designs stick true to the title of "Bug Island" for about 15 minutes. The insect kingdom is vast and varied, with a myriad of choices to choose from in terms of enemies. So, what do we get? Fish that are straight out of Gyo, attacking from the water, giant toads, and King Kong. The bugs of Bug Island are not really your main concern in terms of enemies -- instead, they tend to just be pests, and nothing more. No, the giant apes and lizard women with their razor vaginas are your main concern.

As I mentioned earlier, I had a slight problem with the controls. It's the fact that the game's hidden agenda is to train people to be abusive spouses. As I had to swing at a praying mantis, or for that matter any enemy that was more than a slight nuisance, I would have to swing the Wiimote rather forcefully. As I swung the remote down again and again, making mock beating motions, I progressively became more and more irritated by the refusal for this bug to die, and took a sick satisfaction once the beating was done with. I had re-asserted my manliness, and showed that bug who wore the pants on this island.

So, as you can see, the game has a target audience built into it. My rage also swelled from an inner hatred of the weapons the game gives you. There's not a marked difference between killing things with a pointed stick and using a lead pipe. The pipe just takes a few less swings (I'm talking about going from 9 to 6 swings or so), and that's about it.

Now, to answer a question: is the game truly unplayable and an absolute travesty? No, but it is one that's severely flawed, and is something to learn from. The game's level design is almost unbearably linear. You have fairly straight trails that will take you from destination to destination, and you'll ocassionally run into a large field within which you need to find an item -- which is never hard to do, considering it's a glowing dot on your mini-map -- and then return it to someone who's too much of a wimp to go out and find these things themselves.

The weapons don't provide enough variety in them, makes things get repetitive much more quickly. There is a slight differentiation in terms of the amount of power and range. Usually, as you pick up more and more powerful weapons, each weapon only takes one less swing to kill some enemies. So, there is an appreciable difference between a hunting knife and a steel pipe, but as you pick up weapons, they're not extremely different from the other things that you have in your inventory, unless it's bug spray or a gun.

How could this game have been improved? Well, my best suggestion would have been to take the game off of its rails and give the player more of a chance to explore around the island. When I first encountered a giant praying mantis, I was actually scared of it when I had to fight it, beause they nearly killed me. For a while after, as I had to walk around, the cries of the praying mantis had me scared, and running for the nearest shelter, while I waited for them to go away. After I got used to him, a new type of monster did appear that would have scared me, provided I wasn't already totally cynical about the game by this point.

Besides that, Eidos' "localization" of the series did not help the game out that much. It's not really Eidos' fault, though, because the game was already bad to begin with, and so they were just trying to make the most fun of the game. Who knows how it could've worked out, but the story was far from the biggest problem with the game.

So, now that this is all over, run out to your nearest store and plop down $30 for Escape from Bug Island, provided you can find it. While the game is utterly terrible, it has that B-Movie sentiment to it that does make you laugh at just how horribly bad it is. It's something to play with friends and have a laugh about, and hopefully you can find the game for a relatively cheap price, so that you don't regret the purchase so much.

Final Score: 3.5

LAUNCH GALLERY (2 IMAGES)
Photo Photo








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54 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

God Len's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:12
God Len
FIRST!!
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:13
the GAMEGOBLIN
SNAP OH NO YOU DIDN'T
madninja's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:13
madninja
Second!!!
Lord_Satorious's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:14
Lord_Satorious
If I want to go kill legions of bugs, I'll go play Earth Defense Force 2017. Plus, EDF has giant robots and a Godzilla-like thing to shoot as well. Overall, much more fun than it's given credit for.
broonor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:14
broonor
It's tried something new, i guess... but that's not enough to be even a rental in my book. When is the waggle stick finally going to become a controller in games?
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:16
Darren Nakamura
Hmm. I'd almost want it, but only if it were actually a complete travesty. Like Superman 64 or E.T.
JDUB X's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:16
JDUB X
Wait..........

3.5 = RENT IT

wut?
AngelsDontBurn's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:19
AngelsDontBurn
Shouldn't it be, burn it?
FuSoYa's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:19
FuSoYa
You found Mango (Is it rotten?)
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:20
Sharpless
I'd love to play this. It's like a video game b-movie.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:20
Samit Sarkar
Jeez, DMV, thanks. Those creatures will haunt my nightmares.

Otherwise, though, I enjoyed the review!
taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:22
taumpytears

Did somebody say mango?
Stonedfox's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:23
Stonedfox
Now if they had based it off that crappy MTV movie with Carmen Electra (Monster Island), it could have been terrible AND licensed.

And did anybody consider how useful it would be to have a Lizard-Wife with a razor vagina?

"Oh shit, I keep cutting myself peeling these potatos. Hey honey, could you stick this in your hoohaw for me?"
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:30
MechaMonkey
"I had re-asserted my manliness, and showed that bug who wore the pants on this island."

I would imagine that bugs wouldn't wear pants, even given the chance, as the amount of legs they possess would logically make the pants three times as expensive.
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:31
F Whipple
based on this review i am going to buy this game
Luigi takes over's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:35
Luigi takes over
sometimes poor controls are tolerable if the game is generally a lot of fun.

For example, God Hand's camera control was AWFUL but I loved that game just because of the over-the-top style and sheer amount of intensity the ridiculous difficulty provided.

This looks more like a Street fighter EX:3 kind of fun. My friends and I laughed so hard we cried at that game. It was absolutely terrible but that moment I spent on my friends floor in tears of laughter was definitely worth the $15 I paid for EX:3
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:35
Jonathan Holmes
This review is pure lulz. But I have to read it a few more times before I'll be convinced to buy it.
Bluefusion's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:42
Bluefusion
Man, I rented this game and couldn't stand it, and I'm the kind of guy who likes oft-maligned games if they have something special to them.

And let me tell you, this game has nothing special.
LordRegulus's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:45
LordRegulus
"Ray, quit being such a pussy."

Every video game ever made, from this day forward, is now required to begin with that sentence. Sheer poetry.
Amaru's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 22:53
Amaru
bug island... more like dumb island.. heheheh. uhhh i have no life
Aaron Mxy Yost's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:06
Aaron Mxy Yost
A review for Escape From Bug Island was absolutely the last thing I expected to see when I loaded up this site tonight. My mind is blown.
Brad Rice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:10
Brad Rice
Mxy, my job here is to blow minds. Also, this is one of my few contributions from the future.
taumpytears's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:13
taumpytears
From the future?
Quisling's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:14
Quisling
I was actually looking for the 11/10, but then I suppose the cashwhore joke is a little old.

*sigh* back to some measly 9/10 game...
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:16
ArrestedDeveloper
3.5 is a rent it?
Boolean's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:20
Boolean
I remember calling this game shit on the IGN forums when it was first announced and being raped by a swarm of angry Wii fans. Fuckers.
Bluefusion's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:25
Bluefusion
@ Boolean

You made me have a random thought:
Now that Wii owners are the majority, soon they will enforce strict rules on the pagan PS3 and 360 owners, making a walkthrough of Bug Island mandatory as penance for their infidelity.
Jaren Face's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:27
Jaren Face
aha, I was sort of hoping you'd expand upon the brief impressions you gave on that Podtoid a few weeks ago. This delivered.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:39
AgentMOO
OMG U LIEK BUG ISLANDZ???
joeisremy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:42
joeisremy
renting it and buying it are almost the same price
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:43
tazarthayoot
Wait...a 3.5 constitutes a rent?

And an 8.0 also constitutes a rent?

Uh...alllrighty then.
manta's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:48
manta
"...and took a sick satisfaction once the beating was done with. I had re-asserted my manliness, and showed that bug who wore the pants on this island."

I lawled hard at this.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:50
vexed alex
@ all confused about Rent It

I think what he was trying to say was that, it's so bad you have to try it. It's kind of like 2girls1cup. You know in your mind that it's gross and wrong, but it's something that you have to experience because looking back, it's pretty damn funny. And the experience may be funny rather than gross and disturbing (even though it is).

No? Correct me if I'm wrong.
BlackSunEmpire's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:51
BlackSunEmpire
To everyone who is asking whether 3.5 is a rent it. I was under the impression that the review system here was rated once between 1-10, and then given a buy it, rent it, ignore it type device.

A 'rent it' means it may entertain you for a little while before the flaws make you cry like a little girl.

3.5 is half way between

3 – Bad. Some aspects are terrible, others are either so-so or kind of fun.

4 – Poor. An admirable effort with a sliver of promise, but essentially mediocre.

This review appears to offer possible fun with a rental (now thats a good claim).

For those of you who missed it
http://www.destructoid.com/destructoid-reviews-the-official-guide-54570.phtml
Trowble's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/12/2008 23:55
Trowble
Were they expecting tiny bugs from Bug Island? Fucking Dawson Creek wannabe videogame teenagers.
Dynamic Sheep's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 00:21
Dynamic Sheep
Final Score: 3.5

...and you wonder why your review copy of the game "got lost in the mail". They knew they would be better off without a review.
mistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 00:40
mistic
even though I like B-movies, I never really liked B-games so I prolly won't play this :-)
Drift64's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 00:53
Drift64
You should see broken pixel where the 1up guys plays it, pretty funny.
Nubc4kes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 01:06
Nubc4kes
The reason I don't think the "B Movie" game has caught on is it requires much more time that it's cinema couterpart. A laughable movie lasts 1-2 hours. A laughable game requires you to invest 20+ hours. I can waste the time it takes to watch a terrible movie and not feel to bad, but I can't justify slogging all the way through 20+ hours of horrendous gameplay. It's too much...
Bluefusion's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 01:19
Bluefusion
So, wait a second, this gets a 3.5 but Zelda:TP gets a 4?

I kid, I kid. Couldn't resist. I love these reviews.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 02:22
Bob Muir
Epic review is epic. I wish you got this game earlier so I could have tried it out.
KamikazeTutor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 05:09
KamikazeTutor
I've noticed this, the score can sometimes be independent of the verdict. In this case, I taken that it's such a bad game that people must at least try it.
drMario1337's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 06:30
drMario1337
Im not getting it. I really don't care about it.
copulatingduck's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 06:37
copulatingduck
Reminds me of Assassins' Creed. That game was a blast to play with a group of friends shouting "kill the retard," but it pretty much sucked by yourself.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 08:55
Holyetheline
That was pretty fun to read. I found the review to be quite positive.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 09:24
Maurice Tan
I wonder if this game would make people more aggressive than Manhunt 2.
deaddays's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 10:19
deaddays
Didn't this game come out several months ago?
ajay42's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 10:55
ajay42
for everyone who said "3.5 = RENT IT?" or something along those lines:

There are all these words above the numbers and grading. It helps to read them on occasion.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 13:01
Sharpless
Why are people still confused about the "3.5 = Rent It" thing? This was explained a long time ago. The two scores are unconnected. Sometimes shit is worth renting, while good games aren't worth a buy.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/13/2008 13:11
AgentMOO
I guess we need a "RENT IT FOR THE LULZ" badge too
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