But what's really going on here? What's Ellie doing? Where is she? Who are those guys?
We asked our staff to weigh in. All in good fun. You weigh in too.
Horse is all like:
You guys see a bow, but my first thought was that the guys behind her are coming for her because she didn't do a good job hiding her lizard tail. -- Darren
Katniss Everdeen accidentally ended up in a daft punk music video -- Jonathan Ross
Ellie apparently has the time to learn to play guitar but still couldn't manage to find the time to learn how to swim. -- Brett Z.
"Hi guys, you got any requests?" "Uhhh.... do you know "Fear of Drowning" by British Sea Power?" -- Alasdair
The Beygency just heard a white girl playing some Tori Amos -- Jonathan Ross
It's those SWAT guys from Beyond: Two Souls. They're in the wrong game. They're going after the wrong Ellen Page! -- Hamza
The police are getting rid of everyone who plays their shitty acoustic cover of Under the Bridge. And I thought this was supposed to be a dystopia. -- Ben Pack
Tired of doing her own charity work, Lindsay Bluth hired a local hipster to fill in at the Save the Wetlands protest. -- Brett Makedonski
No "Stairway." -- Patrick
The Last Emo Kid. Hunt her down. Use horse if necessary. -- Niero
This poster for Juno 2 suggests the sequel is going to take a darker turn. -- Mxyzptlk
I LARPed once in High School. I didn't get to be anything cool though. I had to be a goblin because goblins get in for free and I didn't have any money.
I went because I was in love with a beautiful Mormon girl who was afraid to date because it was sinful. It was her idea to go to the LARP. I thought it was her way of escaping the tyranny of the Mormon government that ruled her household and give into her secret desire to make out with me.
I was right. She did want to go there to make out. While at the LARP, she took on the identity of a prostitute named "Flower" who'd have in-game sex (meaning kissing and back rubs) with just about anyone... except me. Because I was a goblin.
I ended up spending most of that weekeng playing Blister in the Sun on an unplugged electric bass guitar that only had two strings, totally lost in my own world. As I played, knights and wizards battled each all around me, seeking to claim dominance on the country side, loudly announcing the amount and type of damage they were inflicting on each other as fought. "Two Normal!" a prepubescent boy in full chain mail repeatedly screamed as he bludgeoned his in-game arch nemesis and real-life little sister Bianca (in-game name "Ginny Grimsley") on the head with a foam rubber sword.
When I look into the eyes of the girl in this artwork, I see myself that day -- internally preoccupied, surrounded by inappropriately serious douche bags, vaguely aware of the ridiculousness of my situation, but God damn it, they'll have to kill me before I'll give up on this luxurious, self-indulgent, "fuck the world" private solo jam.
BREAKING: LILITH FAIR 2014 LINEUP CONFIRMED
Ellie was also apparently laid off from Naughty Dog recently. -- Brett Zeidler
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