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Darksiders vs. Zelda: A compelling argument

1:00 PM on 02.07.2010 // Jim Sterling
  @JimSterling

Like other Destructoid editors, I get a lot of messages from readers. Some of them agree with my gaming opinions, some of them disagree. Some of them are so world-changing that they totally tear apart my view of the world and make me completely change my stance on a subject.

Meet "Saria's Song," a Destructoid user who messaged me to express his dismay at a recent article I published called How Darksiders is blatantly better than Zelda. He was moved to write a very interesting response. So interesting, in fact, that it was decided you all deserve to read it. Check below the fold.

You're right about darksiders. It's for men who like men. Link doesn't even wear a skirt. He wears shorts as a kid and a a tunic which goes below the waist as an adult. Graphics are the least important part of a game, n00b and the graphics aren't better, they're just a higher resolution, retard. Zelda is played by many adults. It's not Link going off to daisy land to save the flowers from meaniedorf. The story for Zelda games is quite mature and it's way too hard for a little kid to get the story let alone finish the game. Link isn't a sissy or he would piss himself when he fight Ganon and run away. Zelda game are hugely different for each one.

Zelda 1:Obviously new concept
Zelda 2:The game was a completely different Genre
LttP:New Genre and much better graphics
LA:New island theme
OoT:3D, Hundreds of new items, a great storyline, the best in game music ever, a targeting system,etc
MM: Unique plot, effective masks,better graphics
WW:New gaphics style, completely new theme
TP:Realistic graphics, new appearance for link, redone Hyrule, Wolf transformation, Different controls.
PH:Touch screen peripherals, a new story,etc
ST:Train riding, New Hyrule, different story.

Darksiders is a homo blood fetish copy of Zelda, f*cking piece of Sh*t. Go fuck your boyfriend, Brucie Kibbutz.

I would like to thank Saria's Song for setting me straight on a few facts that I unprofessionally posted in an article that was intended to inform and educate. It's very clear that I did not do the required research. I checked the facts in this message and it's true, Link does wear a tunic, not a skirt as I had claimed. After speaking with scholars on the subject, I was informed that Link would indeed piss himself if he was a sissy, and since Link does not piss himself, I was wrong to claim that he was. 

I hereby revoke all statements in my piece. It is the last time I will attempt to write such a serious piece without getting my facts together. I apologize to Link and Ganon for the things I said, and hope they will forgive me.



Jim Sterling, Former Reviews Editor
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Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular f... more   |   staff directory



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