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Daily irrelevance: Gears of Phwoar with Lucy Pinder photo

British journalism, best in the world! Good old UK "paper" The Daily Star has an in-depth and engaging feature on British model Lucy Pinder, making a big deal of the fact that she is, in fact, a gamer. This is important videogame news that demands thought, so I am posting it so we can all have a good, long, firm, hard think about things.

Yes, apparently Pinder and her tit-laden friends have become Gears of War 2 regulars. 

A source close to the busty star said: “Watch out next time you go online with your Xbox for a battle – you could be fighting Lucy. She takes NO prisoners and she takes it seriously.”

Gears Of War 2 was released on Friday to a rapturous reception in the multi-billion pound gaming world.

And Lucy has got her Page 3 model pals including Malene Espensen and Michelle Marsh involved.

She has organised her own model league of gorgeous gaming babes.

The source said: “These girls have busy lives but they do like to relax with their consoles after a hard day’s modelling. They love taking each other on with their Xbox games.”

The reason why this is news is simple. For the first time ever, Xbox Live players actually have a chance at seeing the breasts of a female gamer they meet online. For the vast majority of them, this as close to losing their virginity as they're ever going to get.

By the way, I'd perform an "active reload" on Lucy.


Continue: More United Kingdom stories





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74 comments | showing # 1 to 50

Ninja In Distress's Avatar
Ninja In Distress at 11/12/2008 06:12
Aw c'mon Jim; a nerd virgin joke? On a site that worships a giant robot head and cocks? Thats a little too obvious.
covah's Avatar
covah at 11/12/2008 06:12
Oh god... Lucy Pinder... Gears of War... booooooooooooobs
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 11/12/2008 06:18
"Aw c'mon Jim; a nerd virgin joke?"

No, an Xbox Live player virgin joke. They're a special type of scum that deserves special treatment.
Slique's Avatar
Slique at 11/12/2008 06:19
I wouldn't mind helping close Lucy's Emergence Hole.

If you know what I mean.
Kasmodiah's Avatar
Kasmodiah at 11/12/2008 06:21
Look folks, when you meet this voluptuous young woman on Xbox Live there is no need to be rude. Just tell her: TITS OR GTFO!

Goddamnit, i need to get my ass to repair shop ASAP.
Bennyishere's Avatar
Bennyishere at 11/12/2008 06:31
I came here for Lucy Pinder.

Read that however you want.
The Young Scot's Avatar
The Young Scot at 11/12/2008 06:31
I'd grind her gears, if you know what I mean.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 06:33
I'd tag her with a frag grenade.

And by tag I mean have sex with her.

And by frag grenade I mean my penis.
Soulwax's Avatar
Soulwax at 11/12/2008 06:44
"...hard day’s modelling..."

What?
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 06:46
Lucy Pinder is pretty much the pinnacle of glamour models.

Anyway back to the innuendo, I'd stick my Torque Bow arrow in her anyday, and let it explode with fury!

Also, lol @ Bennyishere.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 06:46
I'd beat her to death with my own two fists after I down her.
Demtor's Avatar
Demtor at 11/12/2008 06:46
Lucy who?

*runs off to google*

Ohhhhhhh, cool.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 06:47
I'd chainsaw her meat after taking her down.

>_>
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 06:49
I'll give her MY headshot.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 06:51
I'd roadie run up in her faster than a Reaper in flight.
IzekialRage's Avatar
IzekialRage at 11/12/2008 06:51
Active reload indeed.
Rosseh's Avatar
Rosseh at 11/12/2008 06:51
Wait until her nexus gets a load of my light-mass bomb.
Clance's Avatar
Clance at 11/12/2008 06:51
I'd tell her to lose the "X" and just let me have a go on her Box.
Slique's Avatar
Slique at 11/12/2008 06:52
I'd let her ride me like a Brumak.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 06:53
I'd bring my hammer of dawn down on her all night long.

ALL NIGHT LOOONG, ALL NIIIGHT
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 06:53
I'd ink grenade her anyday and have her coughing it up!
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 06:54
I'd kill her.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 06:56
I'd shoot my machine gun into her until shes down, and have her bleeding, yet crawling for more.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 11/12/2008 07:06
I'd initiate a takedown during a round of Submission.
Trowble's Avatar
Trowble at 11/12/2008 07:06
Yowza!

I'd put my money on it that her boyfriend is a douche.
CALkulon's Avatar
CALkulon at 11/12/2008 07:07
I'd curbstomp that ass.

Am I doing it wrong?
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 11/12/2008 07:08
I'd ... make her ticker explode?

Fuck you guys for taking all the good ones.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 07:09
I'd spread my flamethrower all over her, till shes burning hot underneath AMIRITE?

I'd General RAAM my Coletrain into her anytime!

OK I think I'm done.
Clance's Avatar
Clance at 11/12/2008 07:14
I'd have Pinder up against the wall and given her a red ring of death
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 07:16
I'd take her out for a nice dinner and possibly a movie followed by a night of sensuous love making down by the fire.

Then I'd kill her.
NotAZombie's Avatar
NotAZombie at 11/12/2008 07:16
Justice + Tazar = Epic innuendo team.
Mushman's Avatar
Mushman at 11/12/2008 07:34
LOL at the comments.

Also, I call bullshit on the supposed notion that she is a gamer, please, the daily star isn't known for it's 'true' journalism, I bet her dick bag boy toy plays it and she just sits there, the cheap slut.

No way does she game a lot, she too busy taking her clothes off and making a ton of money 'modeling'.
Clance's Avatar
Clance at 11/12/2008 07:38
@Mushman,

How do you know she doesn't play it? Seems a little sexist if you ask me.

Also, she took a couple of years to get her norks out so, for a glamour model, she is lower down the slut scale.
Timmeh's Avatar
Timmeh at 11/12/2008 07:44
This is about as genuine as all those interviews where the ditzy Page 3 girls say "I'm attracted to normal men, not just footballers - a great personality is more important than looks or money"

Then you look at the same paper the following day and see they've added yet another premiership notch to their bedpost.

And yes, I think she's probably already ridden a Cole Train or ten.
Mushman's Avatar
Mushman at 11/12/2008 07:56
@Clance

Hey, dude, it's nothing to do with sexism, it's kinda obvious.

I, sadly, knew girls like her, girls who only desire in life was to fuck, make money, sell themselves and be surrounded by an army of yes people, fake friends and money, hell they asked me at a party my good friend threw what I was interested in, I said gaming, one asked, 'what is it'? They have no interest in gaming, their only real hobby is to bitch about each other, which I admit, is entertaining to listen to, even now. I know a girl who is currently trying to be a glamor model, let's just say she ain't exactly the best person I know, but she is good to talk to.

These so called women have simply no interest in gaming, simply because they would rahter party and make fools of themselves. They live very materialistic lives.

Plus, it's from the Daily Star, not since I was five do I trust a single word on these articles, especially after thier stance on violent games.

I'm sorry, but this stinks of the Daily Star garnering to get the gamers interested in their shitty newspaper.

Hope this helps. :)
Slique's Avatar
Slique at 11/12/2008 07:57
Oh, man. I go out for half an hour and you guys go and take all the best innuendos. All I can come up with now is:

I'd let her rev my lancer.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 08:01
Woah woah, what's with all this seriousness!
Back to the innuendo folks!

I'd let her grab my mortar anytime, yanking it as she likes, firing all over the rest of her team.
Slique's Avatar
Slique at 11/12/2008 08:03
I'd lick her ticker.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 08:12
Not saying I would, but I know a few guys would Reaper repeatedly.

>_>
Half left's Avatar
Half left at 11/12/2008 08:19
I'm not normally a fan of puns. But that made me laugh =P
CALkulon's Avatar
CALkulon at 11/12/2008 08:20
I'd bloodmount her.
CALkulon's Avatar
CALkulon at 11/12/2008 08:23
I'd let her gnash my shotgun.


(I don't even have a 360, just loving this too much)
Slique's Avatar
Slique at 11/12/2008 08:30
I know what you mean, Justice. I'd totally Mulcher myself.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 08:30
She can DOM my FENIX any day of the week.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 08:32
I'd love to show her my CliffyB's.
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 08:34
The things I'd do to her would be EPIC(Megagames Trademark 1994)
tazarthayoot's Avatar
tazarthayoot at 11/12/2008 08:35
Off topic, but I have the sneaking suspision that Gears of War 4 will be subtitled Saving Private Carmine.
Clance's Avatar
Clance at 11/12/2008 08:38
Sorry Mushamn, but I still think you're generalising. I know plenty of birds like this and most of them wouldn't play games at all.

I'll give you an example: Katie Price (aka Jordan), the biggest name in British glamour. She is in fact cpncentration very hard on horse riding and could well be representing team GB at the next olympics showjumping. I just think you never know. Ths story may not be true but it's like saying all rock stars throw TV's out of hotel windows.
Justice's Avatar
Justice at 11/12/2008 08:39
CALkulon I think you mean you'll let her cock your shotgun!

The things I'd do to her would be UNREAL!
CelicaCrazed's Avatar
CelicaCrazed at 11/12/2008 08:41
I'd NOT Resistance 2 her....screw you guys for taking all the good ones!!
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