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Could Close Range be the funniest faux FPS ever? photo

It's highly possible that it is the funniest faux FPS ever, but I've been known to get worked up over incredibly stupid things before. Then again, haven't we all? The Onion has a first-hand report on Close Range, the anticipated new game that "consists solely of shooting people point-blank in the face."

As if that weren't enough in and of itself, there's also multiplayer where players take turns capping one another in the head, and let's not forget about the side missions which pit you against deadly creatures like horses and ostriches.

"Who cares. This isn't even a real game, and you're a madman for getting so carried away." Wrong, my friend. I may be a madman, but Close Range is a playable game. Seriously, go give it a spin.

[Via Giant Bomb]


Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face

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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28

Saint Demon's Avatar
Saint Demon at 04/07/2009 00:24
I think I might actually buy a game like this. And the part where the ostrich is shot in the face is hilarious. I guess PETA would have something else to rally against.
vexed alex's Avatar
vexed alex at 04/07/2009 00:32
I love the Onion so much.
poonster's Avatar
poonster at 04/07/2009 00:40
lol i guess if you mega simplify a FPS thats pretty much the jist of it lmao
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 04/07/2009 00:43
Ahahahah... I'd play it.
Paul Soth's Avatar
Paul Soth at 04/07/2009 00:48
Wasn't this the selling point of the Soldier of Fortune series?
13thDragon's Avatar
13thDragon at 04/07/2009 00:57
Greatest game ever.
Harris Hatsworth's Avatar
Harris Hatsworth at 04/07/2009 01:12
Is it playable on Sony's Stupid Piece of Shit?
Chronic Logic's Avatar
Chronic Logic at 04/07/2009 01:19
This is FPS game boiled down to it's purest form.
The Grudge's Avatar
The Grudge at 04/07/2009 01:20
GOTY! The shotty is my favorite!
NOOOOOOOO! I LOVED HER!
JynxShot's Avatar
JynxShot at 04/07/2009 01:47
God I fucking love The Onion. When they do game satire, they get that shit spot-on. I thought World of World of Warcraft couldn't be topped.
Neonie's Avatar
Neonie at 04/07/2009 01:58
I played this.. but now I really wanna know! Why did they kidnap his brother? What was their motive? Was it a set-up and now he has to fight his way out of the office, only to learn they burned down his apartment while he went to go save his brother, and then rally against the evil government run cooperation FOR GREAT JUSTICE?!?!?!
thisissami's Avatar
thisissami at 04/07/2009 02:33
@Neonie

you'll find out in the sequel!
Reginald's Avatar
Reginald at 04/07/2009 03:42
I'm stuckkkk in this geame

in level 3, where do you find the purple key in the graveyard ?

k thx bye.



...also nice ostrich headshot
Monodi's Avatar
Monodi at 04/07/2009 04:13
It's thanksgiving, kids!
PhazonYoshi's Avatar
PhazonYoshi at 04/07/2009 04:24
GOTY 2009-2020 inclusive.
Drach's Avatar
Drach at 04/07/2009 06:19
Nah, Chainsaw Dawn will be better. "I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TRUST ANYMORE!"

"NOOOO I LOVED HER!"
wanderingpixel's Avatar
wanderingpixel at 04/07/2009 06:33
Now all we need is an RPG that consists only of level grinding to beat one boss. The boss is level 50 and you are level 1. So you just grind for hours, beat him, and you win.
XanderSan's Avatar
XanderSan at 04/07/2009 07:08
Again, I'm too busy finding the first 1:45 funny that I get destroyed by whatever random quip they use to fill the time at the end.

"A new cure to stop children from crying; Smothering!"
Cynical Gamer's Avatar
Cynical Gamer at 04/07/2009 08:05
We need more games like this. I'm tired of shooting guys with shotguns or rocket launchers in most of today's FPSes only to have them fall over.
Kraid's Avatar
Kraid at 04/07/2009 09:06
Shooting people in the face is quite amusing
DaedHead8's Avatar
DaedHead8 at 04/07/2009 10:26
Instant Classic. I'll be expecting Rev to do an Indie Nation on this game.
silvain's Avatar
silvain at 04/07/2009 11:02
@SnipeU2day

Go check the indie games series for a game called "the linear rpg".

That comes close :)
Count Grishnack's Avatar
Count Grishnack at 04/07/2009 11:22
The Onion, like real onions, make me cry...laughing!

I'll show myself out.
BulletTrain's Avatar
BulletTrain at 04/07/2009 12:09
Oh god, the ostrich getting blasted in the face is the funniest thing I think I've ever seen.
NihonTiger90's Avatar
NihonTiger90 at 04/07/2009 12:21
The Onion is, as always, fantastic and amazing :D
PappaDukes's Avatar
PappaDukes at 04/07/2009 12:54
this is an actual game, there was a website listed during the news report:

http://www.closerangegame.com/

I played it, and it was awesome.
Danzflor's Avatar
Danzflor at 04/08/2009 00:29
I can't wait for the sequel :D
The Amazing Shenazin's Avatar
The Amazing Shenazin at 04/08/2009 01:44
I just shot Marvin in the face!
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