Contests Official Rules
No Purchase Required to Enter or Win
1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.
2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.
3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.
4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.
5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.
6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).
7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.
8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.
9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.
10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.
11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.
Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.
for the fact I cannot win I dont have the ps3 version
Fat dude=gold
Bewbs and zombies what more can you ask for?
This is what happened when the prince could no longer stand hearing "FERTILE GROUNDS" said over and over.
You guys should post the movies that you are using as I want to know what clips are from Coraks, Silverhertz and enanograndes posts!
Dead Alive!
OM NOM NOM NOM-- OH FU-
From Alone in the Dark, which from what I hear is one of Uwe Boll's most heinous travesties
It will eat you!!
sorry@ unangbangkay I thought no one else posted it, I missed yours =[
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/jason-10kills/kill9c.gif
Take that Prince of Persia sword!
[b]i present to you, destructoid, the horrific saga of...
...Pedobear...[/b]
Once upon a time, there was a dance teacher at a college in a small town college in Western Massachusetts named Pedobear. Once the economic recession in America began taking place, he lost his job since the college decided that it would cut costs by dissolving the dance department. As such, he started looking around for a dance teaching job elsewhere. He eventually found an elementary school that wanted to start teaching its students dance that gave him a job. On his first day there, he realized that he loved those little kids so much more than the young adults he used to teach.
He soon noticed that this love for kids wasn't just a mental thing. Every day after class he noticed that there was a hard thing throbbing in his crotch region. After scouring the library, he eventually figured out what that meant, and decided that he would do something about it. Unfortunately for the kids, cartoon bears don't exactly have the same morals as humans.
He eventually got kicked out of the school when parents started to inquire why their kids always came home sleepily 20 or 30 minutes late. However, having taught where he did, he knew that kids loved candy.
Once word of mouth got around about the fact that there was no candy, he started to find other means of getting kids. sometimes it was a surprise kidnapping.
sometimes it was through elaborate designs that he built
and sometimes it was through some form of disguise
after a while, once he really became addicted to kiddy-sex, he decided that he didn't want to waste hours and hours preparing to defile all sorts of youngins. as such, he began practicing blatant flat-out rape.
sometimes it involved hiding in the bushes for an unsuspecting stranger to walk by
sometimes it involved chases through streets and meadows
but it eventually turned to just breaking into random houses until he found a kid that was home alone
once he had break-ins listed under the offenses that he committed, the police started to look for him. at this point in time, however, pedobear finally ran into a true slut of a kid who asked him to return every single time he raped her (though technically it isn't rape). he came again...
...and again...
...and again.
it was impossible for the police to track him down, since there weren't any break-ins or reportings of rape anymore where the rapist was described as a brown bear. luckily for them, however, pedobear's "girlfriend" refused to try anal sex with him, which is the next thing he wanted to try. when she said no, he proceeded to attempt to do so anyway, at which point she threw him out and told him to never come back. she phoned the police and told them all about pedobear. she said that she feared that he was going to come back and try to have buttsecks with her all day, which she really didn't want to do.
it was very fortunate for her that she did tell the police, since the next day, pedobear came back! the police, however, were there to deter him from trying any funny business.
since pedobear knew he couldn't get past the police, he decided to disguise himself as a pizza deliverer giving free pizza to children. he got past the police successfully, since he was being a really nice guy that gave free pizza to children out of his own money, but his ex-girlfriend was a bit more intelligent than that.
unfortunately for her, the reason she this realization was because the pizza tasted funny. it tasted funny because pedobear replaced the cheese on the pizza with roofies.
once it was obvious that she was gone and that she wasn't picking up her cell phone, the police decided to give pedobear an undercover call, since they obtained his number when his ex-girlfriend told them everything. unfortunately, his good friend admiral ackbar came to his rescue.
this didn't mean anything to the police, however, since they already figured out where his phone number was located at currently. since he ran off and they had a relatively good psychological profile on him, they decided to just blow up the nearest sketchy van to the location that he was at.
they picked the right one!
THE END! I hope you enjoyed!
[b]i present to you, destructoid, the horrific saga of...
...Pedobear...[/b]
Once upon a time, there was a dance teacher at a college in a small town college in Western Massachusetts named Pedobear. Once the economic recession in America began taking place, he lost his job since the college decided that it would cut costs by dissolving the dance department. As such, he started looking around for a dance teaching job elsewhere. He eventually found an elementary school that wanted to start teaching its students dance that gave him a job. On his first day there, he realized that he loved those little kids so much more than the young adults he used to teach.
He soon noticed that this love for kids wasn't just a mental thing. Every day after class he noticed that there was a hard thing throbbing in his crotch region. After scouring the library, he eventually figured out what that meant, and decided that he would do something about it. Unfortunately for the kids, cartoon bears don't exactly have the same morals as humans.
He eventually got kicked out of the school when parents started to inquire why their kids always came home sleepily 20 or 30 minutes late. However, having taught where he did, he knew that kids loved candy.
Once word of mouth got around about the fact that there was no candy, he started to find other means of getting kids. sometimes it was a surprise kidnapping.
sometimes it was through elaborate designs that he built
and sometimes it was through some form of disguise
after a while, once he really became addicted to kiddy-sex, he decided that he didn't want to waste hours and hours preparing to defile all sorts of youngins. as such, he began practicing blatant flat-out rape.
sometimes it involved hiding in the bushes for an unsuspecting stranger to walk by
sometimes it involved chases through streets and meadows
but it eventually turned to just breaking into random houses until he found a kid that was home alone
once he had break-ins listed under the offenses that he committed, the police started to look for him. at this point in time, however, pedobear finally ran into a true slut of a kid who asked him to return every single time he raped her (though technically it isn't rape). he came again...
...and again...
...and again.
it was impossible for the police to track him down, since there weren't any break-ins or reportings of rape anymore where the rapist was described as a brown bear. luckily for them, however, pedobear's "girlfriend" refused to try anal sex with him, which is the next thing he wanted to try. when she said no, he proceeded to attempt to do so anyway, at which point she threw him out and told him to never come back. she phoned the police and told them all about pedobear. she said that she feared that he was going to come back and try to have buttsecks with her all day, which she really didn't want to do.
it was very fortunate for her that she did tell the police, since the next day, pedobear came back! the police, however, were there to deter him from trying any funny business.
since pedobear knew he couldn't get past the police, he decided to disguise himself as a pizza deliverer giving free pizza to children. he got past the police successfully, since he was being a really nice guy that gave free pizza to children out of his own money, but his ex-girlfriend was a bit more intelligent than that.
unfortunately for her, the reason she this realization was because the pizza tasted funny. it tasted funny because pedobear replaced the cheese on the pizza with roofies.
once it was obvious that she was gone and that she wasn't picking up her cell phone, the police decided to give pedobear an undercover call, since they obtained his number when his ex-girlfriend told them everything. unfortunately, his good friend admiral ackbar came to his rescue.
this didn't mean anything to the police, however, since they already figured out where his phone number was located at currently. since he ran off and they had a relatively good psychological profile on him, they decided to just blow up the nearest sketchy van to the location that he was at.
they picked the right one!
THE END! I hope you enjoyed!
FAIL!
I JUST WANT THAT THANG SO I CAN GET MY GAME ON!
<img src=http://www.die-space.com/Images/Humor/Funny_Animated_Graphics/images/Stop_Making_Stupid_Posts.gif>
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I think the scariest thing in life, is life!
But in life, we go through alot and laugh!
I think it's the best image here!
So yeah. =D Think about it!
<img src=http://images.stanzapub.com/readers/2008/08/30/one_1.gif>
SORRY IM NEW HERE, SO I HOPE THE FIRST POST DIDNT COUNT!
Sorry if this is a stupid post!
I JUST WANT THAT THANG SO I CAN GET MY GAME ON!
I posted, scary shizzz and funny and something in between!
I think the scariest thing in life, is life!
But in life, we go through alot and laugh!
I think it's the best image here!
So yeah. =D Think about it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No6GtzfLTKYBack to results
Credit where credit is due. You should click that link anyway, it's much better with the Chariots of Fire theme in the background.
sry about the previous post lol.
its too early in the morning
Hmm... not sure what the problem is hopefully will work this time
That would be an epic win....or even some Toxic Avenger, hahaha.
i know i already entered, but if anyone can find something better.. hahaha i win