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Contest: Become Mr. Destructoid for an hour at PAX photo

The excitement at Destructoid HQ is bubbling like dynamite in my grandma's toilet, as PAX is just three weeks away! There are a ton of people planning on going from the Dtoid Community, and we have a surprise to share with you for all of you guys and gals going to PAX on Friday. We're going to be busy running around on Friday, so we have a special yob for anyone that's interested doing something unusual.

Be Mr. Destructoid for an hour. Yup. Best job ever.

All you need to do to become Mr. Destructoid is call dibs in the comments below and meet us at a secret location to arrange costume logistics and wacky pose training. YOU MUST HAVE NO SHAME, DECENT COORDINATION, A STRONG NECK, AND AN IRON-LIKE FOREHEAD. The helmet weighs about ten pounds and has a built-in iPod that plays a video game mix through a built-in internal speaker for maximum peyote effect, as well as batteries and LED lights. However, seniority will be granted to long-time members of Dtoid (and people who actually show up on time!). It is preferred that you wear a suit if you're not going to fit in Niero's 5'1"1 170-pound sexy pants. You too, ladies. We don't discriminate, but we'll get you out of that dress and do you up like Hefner. The silliest person we can find may be asked to do something special at our PAX panel.

What does Mr. Destructoid do? Mostly grope people. You’ll be taking turns with your fellow Dtoiders for an hour each as you ham it up, take photos with people and do things that will make you question your sexuality.

Everyone that helps out by becoming Mr. Destructoid will get one of our new "Become" T-Shirts and a neck rub. The PAX show hours haven't been released yet, but the gig is only for an hour at a time, and you'll be asked to sign a waiver that you totally love possible brain damage and whiplash.

Until then, go call dibs!






Contests Official Rules



No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 




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Hamza Aziz, Destructoid's Community Director, has been here since day one. He was born when a tiger coughed up a hairball into a pool of ooze. He was one of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before budget cuts. Hamza works as a previews editor and manages a team in San Francisco. To date he has given away tens of thousands of dollars in prizes to readers. What a dick. Actually, Hamza is as kind as he is hairy. Likes Super Mario RPG, Halo, iPhone, Videogame cover bands, Super Nintendo Meet the rest of the team



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76 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Roager's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:02
Roager
DIBZED!

except i wont be there. DAMN!
Amolloy's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:03
Amolloy
I would love to help. Lost my jobz, going broke. I will live the dream visiting the site. Have fun!
Geoff Henao's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:04
Geoff Henao
Dude, that is so fucking awesome. I wish I was going to PAX. Niero has like 5 inches on me. Everybody does. :/
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:08
Daxelman
DAMNIT SOMEBODY BUY ME A TICKET TO PAX SO I CAN CALL DIBS.
CWal37's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:11
CWal37
Hahaha, so far no one going to PAX wants in? Wish I was going.
TurboKill's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:14
TurboKill
Dibs.






























Get me a ticket.
Andrew Kauz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:15
Andrew Kauz
Were I able to attend PAX, I'd most definitely do this. An hour seems like a good limit to avoid death from that crazy ass helmet.
Cataract's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:16
Cataract
Dibs!

Oh wait, I can't go.

;_;
Stella Wong's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:18
Stella Wong
I'm afraid my neck will break if I wore the helmet. Though wearing my cosplay with the helmet is kinda tempting...~! I'd have to do it at night though.
Hollie Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:19
Hollie Bennett
Damn it! I call dibs!
Hollie Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:19
Hollie Bennett
Damn it! I call dibs!
drewloid's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:19
drewloid
Dibs
Stella Wong's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:19
Stella Wong
DIBS!!! I'm afraid my neck will break if I wore the helmet. Though wearing my cosplay with the helmet is kinda tempting...~! I'd have to do it at night though. This just proves that Neiro is a superman in that helmet.
Brass's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:19
Brass
Dibs! Going to be there - nothing like a big helmet in a hot suit to start off the event.
GrumpyTurtle's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:24
GrumpyTurtle
I'd call dibs, but I worry I wouldn't live up to the awesome awesomesity that is Mr. Destructoid. But if you want someone flexible in that head for even more sexually awkward photos, toss it on me
KrazyKraut's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:25
KrazyKraut
ppl....please tell a little poor german like me wtf PAX is....
RoboLeader's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:26
RoboLeader
DIBS!

God this would be hilarious.
TheCleaningGuy's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:29
TheCleaningGuy
DIBS! I'm 6'4", going to pax, and have a strong neck.
thepelkus's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:29
thepelkus
Dibs! And here I thought I wouldn't get laid at PAX.
AstralDrmz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:32
AstralDrmz
Just once, we'd all like to feel what it's like to be Mr. Destructoid. Too bad a lot of us (including me) are too far away from PAX. :(
elem08's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:33
elem08
DIBS!

I have no shame, usually walk straight, a neck that could break dreams, and a forehead that is the envy of even the most stalwart of maritime vessels!
Passionate Styos's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:33
Passionate Styos
Awwww! Why the year when I can't go? You better do this next year damn it!
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:35
Justice
Dammit something this awesome better be going on next year!
Knivy's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:38
Knivy
Crazy, now that I think about it... i've never worn the helmet :O.
Is the old one still around? could I wear that with a mexican hat and become "el destructoide"?
nukka jdav's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:40
nukka jdav
HOLY FUCKING DIBS MAN
Jesse Cortez's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:40
Jesse Cortez
DIBS! And like Knives, could I attach a fedora to the top? :-P
power-glove's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:42
power-glove
Dibs.
Holyetheline's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:43
Holyetheline
Wish I could be there :(
casualweaponry's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:43
casualweaponry
Oh shit I totally call dibs! I question my sexuality every time I look at my 360 avatar! Exclamation point!

Seriously, I'll be at PAX and I call dibs.
Silverback 55's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:43
Silverback 55
I shall also call dibs.
Ganjookie's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:52
Ganjookie
Who is giving the neck rubs???
Shadd0wz's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:53
Shadd0wz
I will be present at PAX... And I'd like to say the following.

I was at PAX last year, and I was happily groped by Mr. D.

Hell, I have the sticker on my laptop to prove it.

I, Bryant Kazmerzak of Puyallup, WA, hereby call DIBS, and I will do it not only for one hour, but I will put the lifetime compression of my upper spine on the table for 3 agonizing hours, so I may happily grope, hug, and be the icon of many a Facebook and/or MySpace profile photo, for the glory of the motherland (Internetia).

If you fellow DToiders out there support my post, then Speak Up.

Peace.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:58
mix
Awesome idea for a contest!

Last person to wear the helmet must be the true winner as I imagine it will be quite smelly and sweaty under there......
Zen Albatross's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 15:59
Zen Albatross
DIBS.

Big money, big money.
Darren Nakamura's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 16:02
Darren Nakamura
EFF YEAH DIBS.
falinter's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 16:13
falinter
I wish my head could sport such a sexy helmet
Arttemis's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 16:16
Arttemis
I'm totally up for this! I might actually have to pack my suit now (if it still fits, though I am 5'11" 170lbs like Niero).

DIBS!
Pangloss's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 16:28
Pangloss
I am going to go ahead and call fucking dibs, and I am definitely going to PAX. Niero looks like he's my size, too, so (even though I'm bringing my own) I am totally ganking his awesome white suit.
The GHost's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 16:35
The GHost
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBS!

Please? :D
Artemus's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 16:50
Artemus
Now that would be a privilege!
Wish I was going to PAX. =`(
Have fun, you guys! =)
king3vbo's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:06
king3vbo
Dibs, motherfuckers
Half left's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:07
Half left
dibs I guess. Though I am invalidated for being British and pessimistic and indifferent and I'm gonna go cry in a corner, bbl.
DJDuffy 's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:09
DJDuffy
Dibs!!! Let the groping commence!
ScottyG's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:11
ScottyG
dibs!!dibs!!dibs!!dibs!!PENIS!!PENIS!!PENIS!!dibs!!dibs!!dibs!!dibs!!
ScottyG's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:12
ScottyG
Also, I have a suit I'll be bringing for suit night, so no worries squeezing my fat ass into something made for Niero's svelte frame. <3
TurboKill's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:15
TurboKill
Dibs again.

Get me a ticket so I can actually go and I'll make the face rape even more painful.
KyleGamgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:23
KyleGamgee
DIBS!

Also, "what does Mr. Destructoid do?"

Answer: [b]HE SWAGGERS/b]
KyleGamgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:24
KyleGamgee
Ahem,

HE SWAGGERS
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 08/11/2009 17:44
Bob Muir
This sounds like an awesome honor, but am I the only one who doesn't want dibs? I'm not sure I could handle the responsibility for being Mr. Destructoid for an entire hour. Have fun, though, people who do, and don't you let me down.
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