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Tell me a joke

Hollowbrain posted this one: Ok, so a family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, and a daughter. The mother has an immaculately quiet newborn child in one of those baby slings. The family enters the office and the father is holding on to a leash of sorts that leads outside of the doorway to the office. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The father yanks on the leash and a gimp comes sauntering in a black S&M outfit, leather mask and all, carrying a big boom box in one hand and a large silver case in the other.

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

The gimp shuffles over to the other side of the office, takes the infant from the mother, plugs in the boom box, and opens up the case, its takes out one CD, inserts it into the boom box, and on comes Green Peppers by Herp Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. As soon as the music starts all the family save for their father goes on their knees. The father takes off all of his clothes and is fully erect. He proceeds to cocksmack each family member, each with a smile on their face. This warm up continues until the next song the gimp plays which is A Hard Rains A-Gonna Fall by Bob Dylan, at which point the cocksmacking ceases and the rest of the family strip The son is bent over sucking on the nipples of his sister and out of nowhere his father rails right into him causing the son to bite one of his sisters nipples off spits it at the, you know for a souvenir and blood starts to squirt. While this is all going, he mother is going at it by herself right in front of agents desk with a letter opener that was on his desk, and shes getting messy on her own, occasional squirts of blood hit the agents unimpressed stare. Meanwhile the father is reaming his son so hard that its actually building up pressure inside the son, who is now sucking one of his sisters nipples and licking the open wound where her other nipple was. The son lets out a horrible fart followed by a long burst of diarrhea onto his fathers abdomen, but after the shit stream his sons internal organs start pouring out his ass until the son is hunched over with no chest, and a wad of wet organs on the floor coming out if his smelly cheerio. Music changes to the Beatles Something; the father slides on the floor to his wife whose pussy looks like a bloody mess. They share an intimate gaze and then the father bends over in front of his wife and proceeds of shit on her face. Shes rubbing it all over her face. Offering some to the agent who quietly declines. The daughter is now sucking the son off while at the same time shoving is internal organs back through his prolapsed asshole. The gimp is sitting down feeding the baby a bottle. The father and mother switch places, and now the mother is pissing and dripping cunt blood on the father, who is singling along with George Harrison something in the way she moves.

The Gimp puts the baby down and switches CDs.


The next track that comes on if Bad Companys Feel Like MakinLove, and this is when the show gets really good the father and his one nippled daughter start going at it, slow at first to go along ith the music, but they get quite vicious during the songs chorus. The mother takes the baby from the Gimp and sticks the babys head up the outstretched asshole of her song. She then gets under the child and starts sucking on the infants tiny cock, while her son jerks of while watching his father and sister screwing. Next song: Let The Good Times Roll by The Cars. The Gimp walks into the middle of the action and takes off the outfit to reveal: Grandma, who has no jaw, and a horrifying set of extremely saggy breasts. She gets on her knees and relieves her grandson of what he was doing by using drool that is just falling off of her tongue. The babies head slowly oozes out of his older brothers asshole and hits the ground with a thud muffled by the music. Grandma picks up the baby and starts licking the shit, and blood of the childs face, and the older sons organs fall out completely leaving a pile of organs and a pile of skin and bones. The final song comes on, Cinderella's Dont Know What You've Got (Till Its Gone). The mother starts taking her sons bones and uses them to build a cross which she then crucifies her own baby with. Grandma goes into her silver case and pulls out a pair of small bolt cutters. The father snaps his daughters neck and continues fucking his daughter in the ass. He stops and drags his daughter to the center of the room where the grandmother holds the daughters body upside down. The mother sticks the crucified baby in the daughters cunt, and the baby is crying. The father takes the bolt cutters and starts cutting off the fingers on the right hand of the baby, each one pops off and the mother catches each one in her mouth. She then spits them at the agent. The father moves on to the left hands, fingers fly and mom catches them and spits them out. Grandma drops the daughter and Mother, Father and Grandma all take a bow at the end of the song.

The agent stares straight at them, blinking and wiping the blood off of his face. He picks up a thumb. That was something alright. What do you call yourselves?

The Father steps forward takes one of the fingers off the desk and eats it like a french fry. He smiles and says "The Aristocrats"

Reviews

Uncharted 4: A Thief's End"Sic parvis magna"

 

Bazaar"No, not that Magic Carpet"

 

Thrustmaster TMX Force Feedback Wheel"Basically the T150, but for Xbox One and PC"

 

Fragments of Him"Great writing and performances, terrible pacing and gameplay"

 

Push Me Pull You"Playing Nightcrawlers"

 

Chronos"I keep getting older, but they stay the same age"

 

The Climb"You rock, rock"

 

Hitman: Sapienza"Molto buono"

 

Ray Gigant"Challenge not included"

 
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DISCUSSIONS | setupPosts by everyone - post yours

FakePlasticTree

For those who wanna follow the Persona 5 crazyness as it gets Heres a stream for all of Get hyped! #TakeTokyoTower

 
Steven Hansen
 
gajknight

Why is it that all the girls I wanna bang turn out to be lesbians? Happened at least 5 times so Perhaps my gaydar is

 
Nekrosys

Considering that when the PS Vita first came out, it used an almost identical CPU/GPU to the current iPad at the time (albeit with more cores and a greater clock speed), Im somewhat curious as to what a new handheld with an iPad Pros hardware could

 
Dreamweaver

After finding out what this months Bloggers Wanted prompt is, I decided to commit blog necromancy and revive a post I wrote about Mass Effect 3: Citadel DLC AND the anime Angel Beats! Thats right, I used to write blogs before doing Comments of the Week!

 
medicamecanica

After thinking it was a moba, I finally understand Overwatch and I think its going to be my multiplayer game Favorite character so far? Mercy, thats right Im a fuckin

 
ObliqueZombie

Yeah, Overwatch is fucking fun as hell! But a bit hard on Not awkward for every character, but some are obviously gimped with a controller

 
Occams

Lordy, Overwatch is fun! Bastion is gun mode as a defender if very

 
Fuzunga

I hope Overwarch finishes downloading before the beta period is

 
Parismio

I have Shantae and the pirates curse for wiiu Who wants it? I figured itd be gone by

 
Dangus Taargus

I just spent an hour setting my Steam Controller to treat only the bottom half of my DS emulator window as a mouse zone for the touchscreen in a Big Picture It kinda works better than I thought it but still doesnt really feel

 
KnickKnackMyWack

People seem pretty insistent on the idea that Zelda NX will be vastly superior to Wii why? When OoT was ported to GCN all it had was Master TP on Wii was almost no different from Unless its a remaster it wont be significantly

 
Gundy

Im gonna miss I never enjoyed getting my ass handed to me so

 
Torchman

God damn I want to be so mad at how little screen time Gunbuster itself has gotten and the pacing of the But then I find out Gunbuster is a combination And then it gets a hype battle versus an YOURE TEARING ME APART GAINAX

 
Memolestas

Ive been working a lot in YOLO Animals, but peoples responses worth it:) Take a look at the game:

 
ACESandElGHTS

In celebration of my finally having finished MGS V: full motion Quiet/ Stefanie Joosten

 
siddartha85

I didnt expect to like Overwatch this Anybody else using Lucio? Im shocked at how much I now enjoy using He seemed so lame at But hes secretly

 
CoilWhine

Played and streamed some more Yakuza 3 (that shibe is so cute!), made a few memes for YouTube but nothing really

 
Torchman

When your title mech doesnt show up for over half the shows length, maybe, juuuust MAYBE, you shouldve had more Too rushed for some moments to have any real Mechs been pretty badass so far

 
Inquisitive Ravenclaw

Im physically/emotionally exhausted and fed up with

 
Parismio

Since I now have Runbow, it occurs to me that no one has mentioned its new DLC and that Lilac from Freedom Planet is a free character!

 
Jonathan Holmes
 
Sr Churros

Saw this on Twitter, had to share

 
Sarah Jane Farron

:( Today has been pretty bad for Really dislike Nioh and stuck with terrible players on my teams on both Overwatch and TF2 with the latter taking an hour to figure out how to launch it without it I say! Sleep and onwards to tomorrow!

 
Pixie The Fairy

Thing Im trying to sort from the Avengers movies: Everyone is absolved for succumbing to mind control except for Tony And Scarlett Witch sends Hulk to terrorize a Loki gets out of warping minds with a But hes my brothe from

 
Parismio

Alright i got two codes Wiiu versions of affordable space adventures and Shante: Pirates Curse

 
Nathan D

Oh shit, its only

 
worm jerky

Just discovered the Yakuza series after buying 5 on sale and finally putting some real time in with 4, which I got with PSPlus a while Now I dont even care about anything else its like Im trapped in Yakuzaville!!

 
AvtrSpirit

While debate rages on over who is best waifu and best robotu in Overwatch, its abundantly clear that Hanzo is best

 
lewness

Was nervous because I thought you botched getting the Morion Blade if you didnt get Yuria to talk about Orbeck before finishing the Usurpation Turns out you can still do I did do it right after killing Dragonslayer so that helped?

 

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