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When I went to visit Rare's Studio and check out Viva Piñata: Pocket Paradise for the DS, one couldn't help but consider the future of the franchise. VP is an incredibly original and inventive IP, one that most definitely deserves a long future, but I realized there was a crucial flaw in the game -- Rare can only continue the series for as long as they can think of animal/candy wordplay.

Or can they?

As this musing reached its climactic peak, I imagined the bleakest future possible, a future where Rare had run out of candy portmanteaus and had to move onto chemical substances. In order to help my pals at Rare, I have taken it upon myself to draw up their concept art ... concept art from Hell ... and design creatures for the latest installment in the franchise -- Viva Piñarcotics!  

[Drawing by Jim Sterling, coloring by the awesome Topher Cantler]

Appear Requirements: Have a set of weights in your garden
Visit Requirements: Have an intense pressure to perform at physical peak
Resident Requirements: Have a "best of Chris Benoit" DVD in your garden
Romance Requirements: Under cook dinner and cause a hyper violent 'roid rage fit

Appear Requirements: Have strobe lighting in your garden
Visit Requirements: Garden is 90% water (bottled)
Resident Requirements: Free glowsticks
Romance Requirements: Vomit onto the back of the person you're screwing in a dehydrated stupor

Appear Requirements: Grow some perfectly legal, unprepared mushrooms
Visit Requirements: Pick some perfectly legal, unprepared mushrooms
Resident Requirements: Maaaaybe do something with a perfectly legal pot of boiling water
Romance Requirements: Put your head in the boiling water after tripping out and thinking that Spidorpions are coming to stab your face off

Appear Requirements: Lose your girlfriend
Visit Requirements: Lose your job
Resident Requirements: Lose your house
Romance Requirements: Lose your razorblades

Appear Requirements: Build a Starbucks
Visit Requirements: Build another Starbucks
Resident Requirements: Build another Starbucks
Romance Requirements: Build two Starbuckses

Appear Requirements: Chemical set in your garden
Visit Requirements: Magic eye charts on all the walls
Resident Requirements: Some Hendrix on the radio
Romance Requirements: Stop having horrific hallucinations about the killer brainroaches

Appear Requirements: Jack Daniels
Visit Requirements: Southern Comfort
Resident Requirements: Smirnoff
Romance Requirements: Aftershave chased up with floor polish

Appear Requirements: Build a porn-and-booze-filled squat in your garden
Visit Requirements: The first hit is free
Resident Requirements: Have a wallet that keeps having cash "disappear" from it in your garden
Romance Requirements: Go on the game to support the skag habit

Appear Requirements: One radiator
Visit Requirements: One set of handcuffs
Resident Requirements: One bloodstained mattress
Romance Requirements: One television playing Trainspotting all day, every day


LAUNCH GALLERY (9 IMAGES)
Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo Photo
 

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garrfunkel's Avatar
garrfunkel at 06/18/2008 06:59
Your brilliance never fails to amaze me.
Half left's Avatar
Half left at 06/18/2008 07:00
You'll wanna copyright this quick like.
Totally Tubular Thomas's Avatar
Totally Tubular Thomas at 06/18/2008 07:01
That was hilarious. I didn't know you could draw Jim, yet another skill added to the list of being able to argue with idiot attorneys and saying the word 'cunt' in a manner which makes it the best word to be said in a British accent.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 06/18/2008 07:05
"I didn't know you could draw Jim"

I can doodle silly cartoons. Huge credit for how good they look really should go to the coloring and shading that Topher brought them to life with.
Totally Tubular Thomas's Avatar
Totally Tubular Thomas at 06/18/2008 07:14
Of course. Said huge credit is given to Topher.
nebones's Avatar
nebones at 06/18/2008 07:22
I don't think I've ever seen anything better then this in my life.
David Houghton 's Avatar
David Houghton at 06/18/2008 07:29
Hats off Sterling. Hats very much off and a hearty round of applause.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 06/18/2008 07:31
It was enough to get David Houghton himself to make a post. Now that's a seal of approval!
AfroJoel's Avatar
AfroJoel at 06/18/2008 07:36
this is gritty and compelling
The Incredible Edible Egg's Avatar
The Incredible Edible Egg at 06/18/2008 07:37
That is some great shit, but what about the stoner giraffe, marigiraffe or a hedgehoke, the coked up hedgehog?
Alexradl's Avatar
Alexradl at 06/18/2008 07:39
Woah, those are fucking awesome. Applause, Jim and Topher. Poor Cold Turkey.
Jim Sterling's Avatar
Jim Sterling at 06/18/2008 07:45
The Incredible Edible Egg:

My original sketches DID include a Marijuaffe, actually. I also had Sea Weed planned out too.

The final drawings are only some of the ideas I had. I may do another in the far flung future if this one proves to be popular enough.
Drunken Haze's Avatar
Drunken Haze at 06/18/2008 07:52
Adding drugs to the incest and canabalism makes for possibly the best game ever.
The Incredible Edible Egg's Avatar
The Incredible Edible Egg at 06/18/2008 07:55
Oh snap, were on the same wavelength Jim. Must be all the dynasty warriors I've been playing.

Btw, that random message from "wired ronin" was me cause I want to kill some ghosts as Lu Bu
honey's Avatar
honey at 06/18/2008 07:58
Ha! Nice! Do any of the new pinatas lead to other pinatas? Gateway pinatas, if you will?
adultswim810's Avatar
adultswim810 at 06/18/2008 08:33
HAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAAAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!oneoneoen!1112 ecstaseal owns so hard
aborto thefetus's Avatar
aborto thefetus at 06/18/2008 08:47
You are such a silly man Mr. Sterling.

Although I can see some assholes coming in here and insulting this. In fact, I can almost guarantee that will happen.
hoyt414's Avatar
hoyt414 at 06/18/2008 09:05
heheh pure awesome
Trevsweb's Avatar
Trevsweb at 06/18/2008 09:25
alcomole is my favorite and one i would bond with the most
Yashoki's Avatar
Yashoki at 06/18/2008 09:43
to fucking good :)
Professor Pew's Avatar
Professor Pew at 06/18/2008 09:44
This is the most amazing thing EVER!
elliott20's Avatar
elliott20 at 06/18/2008 09:47
it's... it's so beautiful...
Shinu's Avatar
Shinu at 06/18/2008 10:02
omg this is SOOOO funny!!!

Plus clever names

ergo, i dig!
topgeargorilla's Avatar
topgeargorilla at 06/18/2008 10:09
it's cute. You could do the same thing with pokemon too. But what will you do after narcotics?
pendelton21's Avatar
pendelton21 at 06/18/2008 10:42
Love the Trainspotting joke.
007's Avatar
007 at 06/18/2008 11:03
So funny... yet so sad.
Chad Concelmo's Avatar
Chad Concelmo at 06/18/2008 11:08
OMG DAVID HOUGHTON IS UP IN THESE COMMENTS!

So good, Jim. Poor Cold Turkey ... :(
Cheeburga's Avatar
Cheeburga at 06/18/2008 12:17
haha, i love these. :D
KARMACON's Avatar
KARMACON at 06/18/2008 13:15
@topgeargorilla: probably move on to deviant sexual acts like - impotentguana, dirty trombear, reverse cow. Granted, Jim could probably think of some better ones!
SLiFE's Avatar
SLiFE at 06/18/2008 13:40
You've made my day Jim.
MechaMonkey's Avatar
MechaMonkey at 06/18/2008 13:46
I came, I saw, I came. Brilliant.

Though those are clearly not piñatas. I demand that they be made more frilly and flamboyant.
moot button's Avatar
moot button at 06/18/2008 13:48
Aww, Cold Turkey looks so sad! Also wasn't 'Cold Turkey' Shaft's arch-nemesis?
TrailerParkJesus's Avatar
TrailerParkJesus at 06/18/2008 15:38
oh you!
loopholezero's Avatar
loopholezero at 06/18/2008 16:03
so, no one likes the Mushrew, then. no problem, i'll take it.
it's no Marijuaffe, but it'll do.
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 06/18/2008 16:15
Kudos.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar
Samit Sarkar at 06/18/2008 16:47
I think I have a Best of Chris Benoit DVD lying around somewhere...

(kidding)

Fantastic work, Jim and Topher. The captions had me in fits of laughter!
Bioautographical's Avatar
Bioautographical at 06/18/2008 17:41
So. Fucking. Dugg.

Dugg like woah.
Murumasa123's Avatar
Murumasa123 at 06/18/2008 17:47
Bloody Brilliant.
It needs a big picture with them all interacting in a garden now. That would be perfect.
DaedHead8's Avatar
DaedHead8 at 06/18/2008 18:48
Oh good lawd that was funny.
Kapkomi's Avatar
Kapkomi at 06/18/2008 23:57
they're adorable
Blake's Avatar
Blake at 06/19/2008 02:30
Your talents are being wasted Jim.

I think we need a fundraiser for a Dtoid game studios. NOW.
nintendoll's Avatar
nintendoll at 06/19/2008 02:48
I'm hoping for some sort of 'Tussin related Pinata. Appear Requirements: Cold medicine. residence requirements: throwing up red and thinking that you're going to die because you're bleeding on the inside. Romance Requirements: Sporadically roll on the floor and scream, then fall asleep (this is what a friend of mine did robo-tripping, because he is a dumbass)
bioshocked's Avatar
bioshocked at 06/19/2008 10:51
I was thinking of adding another few pinatas based on some lesser known drugs to this list. But then I realized such an action would only expose me for the stupid old junkie I am...
naib's Avatar
naib at 06/19/2008 13:26
Robo-tripping? I really worry for you kids these days.

Down in H-town it's called gettin' wet. Nothin' like some Screw and syrup.
4knuckleshuffle's Avatar
4knuckleshuffle at 06/19/2008 17:44
Oh gawd. DO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!
BlackSunEmpire's Avatar
BlackSunEmpire at 06/20/2008 20:41
Ummmm, I missed this on the day, but this shit is awesome.
gokhan's Avatar
gokhan at 11/07/2008 03:40
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