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For the New York Yankees’ sake, I sure hope Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels continues his sub-par playoff performance tomorrow night in Game 3 of the World Series. But as much as I want to see him crash and burn against the Yankees, I have to hand it to him -- this public service announcement imploring Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 players to avoid throwing grenades randomly is pretty damn funny (its NSFW language contributes to that).

At this point, I’ve just about hit “information overload” on Modern Warfare 2 -- the game’s going to be out in a week and a half, and I’m just going to play it when it releases. But unlike some controversial footage from earlier in the week, this doesn’t spoil anything; it’s just a good bit of fun. (And for some reason, I find it funny to hear a baseball player swear. I can’t explain it.)

I, for one, strongly suggest that you all follow Hamels’ sage advice, because like him, I’m tired of seeing a killcam replay where someone merely runs forward and tosses a grenade as far as they can in the general direction of the opposing team. Remember: that bush-league stuff is for pussies.

[Update: For the record, everyone, I completely missed the "Fight Against Grenade Spam" thing the first time around, and I didn't realize it until after I saw everyone lambasting Infinity Ward on Twitter and the Web. Obviously, that (apparently anti-gay) message is not something that Destructoid or I endorse, and had I noticed it before this story went live, the tone of the post would've been completely different.

As it turns out, Infinity Ward has pulled the video; you can check out their official response here. -Samit]


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49 comments | showing # 1 to 49
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casualweaponry's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 21:36
casualweaponry
Speaking of grenades, I really hope they nerfed martyrdom. Last Stand can die in a fire too.

But will the AI stop throwing grenades like they're going out of style? I doubt it.
akathatoneguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 21:38
akathatoneguy
Well, when video games become a real way to prove one's manhood, I'll start worrying about being a "pussy" when I throw random grenades. It's not like we're talking about kicking one's balls during a fight or something. I'm pretty sure the top of the CoD 4 leaderboards aren't filled with the toughest people on the face of the planet. Actually, it's pretty much just shut-ins.
akathatoneguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 21:39
akathatoneguy
Also, Cole Hamels is on my fantasy team, and he needed to pitch like less of a pussy this year. Maybe instead of playing MW 2 he can work on that.
artha14's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 21:39
artha14
Funny. My friends always random nade when they spawn. It's retarded. It's for pussies.
cockaroach's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 21:44
cockaroach
Fight against grenade spam? really? what are we, twelve?
akathatoneguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 21:48
akathatoneguy
Also, I don't usually indulge in trolling, but knowing that so many people hate random grenades makes it that much sweeter when one kills an opponent. It's the same way with martyrdom. You toss a random grenade (or in the case of martyrdom, simply die) and then a moment later you see that wonderful "+10" on the screen. So awesome.
Zippyduda's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:16
Zippyduda
So, snow ghillie suits, silenced snipers and a new look for grenades confirmed?

Also, random grenades aren't always random. A lot of spots that are areas of high congregation. If you've played any FPS there's going to be strategic points to lob grenades.
Anthony Burch's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:17
Anthony Burch
Here's an idea -- if you, the designers of a game, want the players of your game to not throw grenades randomly, then maybe you can DESIGN A FUCKING GAME WHERE RANDOMLY THROWING GRENADES IS NOT A REASONABLE STRATEGY.
PreacherMan89's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:29
PreacherMan89
*Throws a random grenade*

Seriously though, a lot of the 'random grenades' are actually strategically thrown. It just looks like they are random because seasoned players throw them without even having to think about it. They just target spots where there is high traffic and n00bs just happen to be there to complain about it when the 'nade kills them.
FalconReaper's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:29
FalconReaper
That was the funniest shit I've seen in a while.

@casualweaponry

Only rookies get hit with martyrdom...which is why I'm hoping it gets nerfed the shit out of
AOClaus's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:34
AOClaus
akathatoneguy....thanks for once again proving the theory to be true

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-34640480252896_2073_17071686
The Silent Protagonist's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:46
The Silent Protagonist
My grenades just have a way of finding people dumb enough to try and chase me. Nothing random about that.

If the game had throwing knives, I'd just use those. Much more fun than shooting people. Grenades and Proxy Mines are the next best thing, particularly in bottlenecked areas. Vehicles in inappropriate corridors can also be fun.

Really though, I have yet to play any FPS that didn't consist of whiny brats crying about "random grenades" or how using a sniper rifle is "cheating."
Haizeus's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:48
Haizeus
This vid is bro-tastic. My collar popped itself and a natty light materialized in my hand.
Bigmoose85's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:52
Bigmoose85
Cole Hamels says MW2 is for pussies

/fixed
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:57
Dexter345
Agreed. Anybody who plays like that is a douche, and I hope they get a badge for douchiness.
Kflame210's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 22:58
Kflame210
Wow Hamels is growing some nads. He said Pussy anf Fuck in the same video..... GO YANKEES!!!
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 23:05
Samit Sarkar
@The Silent Protagonist: Modern Warfare 2 WILL have throwing knives, actually.
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 23:05
Dexter345
@Zippyduda, Preacherman: just because you know where the high traffic areas are, and you know how to arc your grenade from across the map to hit that area, doesn't mean it's not a douchey tactic. It may not be "random" in the truest sense of the word, but my view is that grenades are for when you know an enemy is in a fortified position, where simply rushing in would spell death, the more honorable player can flush them out. Yeah, you are putting it in a place that statistically has a better chance of hitting somebody, but you don't *know* people are there, and that you can kill somebody from across the map based almost entirely on luck is ridiculous.
PreacherMan89's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 23:22
PreacherMan89
@Dexter245
I see your point. I myself do not throw random grenades and to be honest I don't have a problem with those that do. I do however understand that it is apparently a big issue within the community.
PreacherMan89's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 23:25
PreacherMan89
*Dexter345, my bad.
Saturn118's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 23:31
Saturn118
Funded by F.A.G.S Grow up IW
colt4by5's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 23:33
colt4by5
I totally agree Samit, making fun of gay people is hilarious! I hear the gayness removes their feelings, so you don't have the guilt like when harassing minorities and such.
TREND-KILLER's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 23:46
TREND-KILLER
they should make an achievement for random grenade throwing
because the games A.I. will be able to tell the difference between a random grenade and a strategic one
I mean I can tell when someone sees an enemy then throws a grenade
v.s.
when someone just thinks an enemy is there
right ...
ArrestedDeveloper's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/30/2009 23:53
ArrestedDeveloper
This video alone prove why the Phillies should win the world series, well that and that all the Yankees are c**k gobbling prima donna jack asses.
IRHari's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 00:40
IRHari
Fuck this article. Go Phillies!
Bigmoose85's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 00:40
Bigmoose85
I plan on spamming grenades just for watching that video
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 00:49
Samit Sarkar
Hey, for the record, folks, I legitimately missed the "F.A.G.S." thing until someone pointed it out on Twitter. (Call me stupid, but I have a knack for missing stuff like that.) That's definitely not funny, and it's not cool, either.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 01:03
ZekeThePlumber
Hey Samit, what kind of Yankees fan are you? A bandwagoner or a banker?
ArcticFox's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 01:04
ArcticFox
I DEMAND A PHILLIES HAT FOR MY MW2 CHARACTER!

That said, Cole Hamels is awesome. GO PHILLIES!
brainderailment's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 01:29
brainderailment
So, grenades are sticky now? That sucks.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 01:31
Samit Sarkar
@ZekeThePlumber: I've lived in New York my entire life. I hope that answers your question.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 02:39
ZekeThePlumber
Then how come you aren't a Mets fan?
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 02:56
Samit Sarkar
@ZekeThePlumber: What can I say? I grew up a Yankee fan; my brother is a Mets fan.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 05:06
Sharpless
"F.A.G.S."? No, it's cool, guys. See, it's also a British anti-smoking PSA.
PiKo's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 07:17
PiKo
Yea the fags thing is over the line for any business.
Tonks01's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 07:23
Tonks01
Personally I would like to see Destructoid update the article to point out they don't support the FAGS message. What a bunch of idiots (activision/IW) Online gaming is really going to become a horrid place to be if we let things like this slide.
psycho terror2's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 08:37
psycho terror2
if you throw a grenade, and it kills someone, you did good. if you throw one and it doesn't kill someone, you're a grenade down and you should have saved it.

stop whining about it, you pussy bitches. stop trying to homogenise COD.
Jon B's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 08:44
Jon B
Yeah, this is hilarious.

WE CAN'T STOP YOU THROWING RANDOM GRENADES BUT DON'T LIKE IT DON'T DO IT... PLEASE ;_;

I for one are in support of random grenades, although Martyrdom can go DIAF. Until they think of a way to prevent grenade kills from spamming, then I'll happily continue spamming grenades.
MetalRufflez's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 09:13
MetalRufflez
I'm totally down with the FAGS XD
andycadaver's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 10:04
andycadaver
Yeah, hopefully the AI doesn't have a gigantic bucket of grenades that they each carry around and toss handfuls at a time like its a fucking parade. That made me want to end my life. Also, I'm all for getting rid of martyrdom. I hate that perk so much. It's just sad that you have to train yourself to avoid dead bodies, which is what happens unless you want some stupid asshole getting a cheap kill on you. Its not like it even helps with a kill streak, you're already dead! Very lame.
JoeCamNet's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 10:15
JoeCamNet
When did the entire world turn into little girls about the word "fag"?
sire masta's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 10:20
sire masta
What i would like to know is was that word intended? cus if it wasn't, certain people have some homophobic problems
Grandmas Boy's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 11:48
Grandmas Boy
I went to school with Cole. Also, go Phillies and grenades!
Sanious's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 14:11
Sanious
So, I guess with the F.A.G.S thing, IW/Activision are just proving that they have just as much of a mentality as the 13 year olds on xbox live. I'm usually not that bothered by things, but honestly what the fuck were any of them thinking?
Justin Gordon's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 14:11
Justin Gordon
Fuck the Phillies and fuck the Yankees. This is like some AvP shit, no matter who wins, we lose. Props to Cole though for doing the sketch. Side note: Did anyone else notice that the player's tag in the video was "Blunt Trauma", with a little weed leaf next to it? Good to see IW officially endorsing the stoner user base that makes up the tolerable demographic of Xbox live.
TheBigFeel's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 16:24
TheBigFeel
I agree with Anthony; design around it, IW

Random grenading for points goes away if grenades TK and players spawn in random locations at the start

Just sayin...
beef's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 17:05
beef
Private video FTL. Anyone have a mirror?
Char Aznable's Avatar - Comment posted on 10/31/2009 18:07
Char Aznable
Phillies fans apparently have you outnumbered on Dtoid. You goin' down, Samit!
akathatoneguy's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/01/2009 01:51
akathatoneguy
AOClaus-

What? That most posters on Dtoid without avatars add nothing at all to any particular thread?
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