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Cliffy B blames tech for bald space marine overload photo

Have you ever wondered why this generation's games are full of bald space marines in brown and gray environments? Of course you haven't, but don't worry, Cliffy B explains it all -- a bit like Clarissa, except you never wanked over Maxim pics of Cliffy B when you were fourteen.

"The technology of this generation just happens to be very good at rendering metals and stones and dramatic lighting," Cliff notes, explaining why games like Gears of War are so gray. "The tech is good at showing off armor and it's not that good at doing hair ... that's why we have bald space marines."

So, it's the technological limitations, and not the lack of imagination from game developers, that is apparently to blame. Doesn't quite explain why the brightly colored and marine-free Viva Piñata games are the best looking titles this generation, but there ya go!


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28 comments | showing # 1 to 28

Soulwax's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 08:28
Soulwax
A bad workman blames his tools.
Drauglim's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 08:30
Drauglim
Gears of War 3 with pinatas. NOICE!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 08:31
GuitarAtomik
Not to mention that if you're in the military, you have to shave your head (or at least keep it really short). From a fiction point it just makes sense.
VodRedB's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 08:38
VodRedB
Last time I checked hardware only rendered what the software engine gave it to chew on ...
JustLikeBuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 08:48
JustLikeBuck
Doesn't explain how they can make Ratchet's fur look like Pixar had a hand in developing it, or how Nathan Drake and Heavenly Sword's Nariko's hair look fantastic. Lets not mention Beyonetta, who's whole outfit is made of hair ;)

I'm cherry picking games that don't use the Unreal 3 Engine, but no Cliff, it's a problem with every game, isn't it?
Volomon's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 08:48
Volomon
I honestly haven't notice this, but I'm playing on the PS3. Nathan drake has hair. Folklore characters have hair. Killzone characters have hair.

I don't even know what he's talking about.
Usedtabe's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 08:53
Usedtabe
No, it's just the unreal 3 engine that has a problem with. IT also has a fuckton of problems with netcode. See: Gears of War 2 and any other MP game that uses UE3.
whormongr's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 09:09
whormongr
@Volomon I am on the ps3 too, though most everything on ps3 seems to be the havok engine
CocoJambo's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 09:17
CocoJambo
Bald rendering technologies.
Chronic Logic's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 09:25
Chronic Logic
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ASpaceMarineIsYou
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 09:27
wardrox
As he says, it's to do with the way light dispersion exists and how it's rendered. And some other stuff.

Basically, he's right, but dumbed down his point quite a bit.
ChaosTeaCup's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 09:35
ChaosTeaCup
It works doesn't it!?!? You ever look at Giger paintings? Easily one of the best Sc-fi painters ever, and yet seldom a colour seen. It's the sci-fi look. It works. Some of us don't mind it, hell some us even love it. As much as I love Viva pinata, it's no way one of the best looking titles this generation. I used to like cartoons when I was younger, but now not so much. Call me an old-fashioned male, but I like gritty stuff. And so do a lot of us. Sorry about that...
whormongr's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 09:39
whormongr
ChaosTeaCup is an old-fashioned male
Rockvillian's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 10:17
Rockvillian
I agree with Wardox, he dumbed down his point quite a bit.

Also Cliffy's thinking too much. Shadow of the Colossus had me believe there was hair on the Colossi, the horse, and the protagonist, but it didn't have to go to the great lengths of dynamically lighting and adding physics to every single hair follicle - it knew what to focus on. You could give our game characters working endocrine systems cause your tech can do it, but what the hell does it add to the game?
F Whipple's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 10:32
F Whipple
I'm just here for the Clarissa Explains it All reference. Made my day
MuddBstrd's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 10:32
MuddBstrd
"Cliffy B explains it all -- a bit like Clarissa, except you never wanked over Maxim pics of Cliffy B when you were fourteen"

I can assure you that, were there a spread of CliffyB in Maxim when I was fourteen, I would have.
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 11:21
ikiryou
Cliffy B upon first realization that he doesn't have the skills necessary to "draw" hair on a digitally designed character:

That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
ikiryou's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 11:24
ikiryou
Oops! Sorry for the F-Bomb o_0

Edit button, please!
Nitex's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 11:29
Nitex
I'm just sticking to the Cliffy B is a douche bag deal. I swear him and Dane Cook are cousins. Annoying fucktards.
wanderingpixel's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 12:04
wanderingpixel
Space Marines live in space.
PwnanObrien's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 12:28
PwnanObrien
The PS3 can dedicate a couple hundred more polygons to a character's limit, which doesn't really buy you much in terms of silhouette but you can make hair a bit smoother. Thus you get shit like Heavenly Sword.
Los255's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 12:42
Los255
He should use either Okami's engine or Viewtiful Joe's engine.
brainderailment's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 12:43
brainderailment
Correction

"UE3 just happens to be very bad at rendering anything other than metals and stones and dramatic lighting, The tech is only good at showing off armor and it's not that good at doing hair ... that's why we have bald space marines."
Dexter345's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 13:49
Dexter345
Yeah, it might explain the lack of hair, but it doesn't really explain the lack of color.
boots555's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 13:49
boots555
What about Snakes hair from MGS4? EPIC!
Grasshopper7's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 15:25
Grasshopper7
"Cliffy B explains it all -- a bit like Clarissa, except you never wanked over Maxim pics of Cliffy B when you were fourteen."
Get out of my head Jim! Get out of my head!!!!
Syn's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/03/2009 18:21
Syn
Cliff notes?
Cliff's Notes?
Cliffy B's Notes!
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