Have you ever wondered why this generation's games are full of bald space marines in brown and gray environments? Of course you haven't, but don't worry, Cliffy B explains it all -- a bit like Clarissa, except you never wanked over Maxim pics of Cliffy B when you were fourteen.
"The technology of this generation just happens to be very good at rendering metals and stones and dramatic lighting," Cliff notes, explaining why games like Gears of War are so gray. "The tech is good at showing off armor and it's not that good at doing hair ... that's why we have bald space marines."
So, it's the technological limitations, and not the lack of imagination from game developers, that is apparently to blame. Doesn't quite explain why the brightly colored and marine-free Viva Piñata games are the best looking titles this generation, but there ya go!
Jim Sterling serves as reviews editor for Destructoid.com, head of the Podtoid podcast, and produces a number of news stories, original features, one-of-a-kind videos. With his passionate argumentative style, controversial opinions, harsh delivery, and dedication to brutal honesty Sterling is a name that you can't help but recognize.
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Contest:
8:20 AM on 07.03.2009
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I'm cherry picking games that don't use the Unreal 3 Engine, but no Cliff, it's a problem with every game, isn't it?
I don't even know what he's talking about.
Basically, he's right, but dumbed down his point quite a bit.
Also Cliffy's thinking too much. Shadow of the Colossus had me believe there was hair on the Colossi, the horse, and the protagonist, but it didn't have to go to the great lengths of dynamically lighting and adding physics to every single hair follicle - it knew what to focus on. You could give our game characters working endocrine systems cause your tech can do it, but what the hell does it add to the game?
I can assure you that, were there a spread of CliffyB in Maxim when I was fourteen, I would have.
That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
Edit button, please!
Get out of my head Jim! Get out of my head!!!!
Cliff's Notes?
Cliffy B's Notes!
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