City of Heroes film in development; Owen Wilson to play sXeNightstabber1987

City of Heroes, NCSoft's superhero MMO, has been optioned by Tom DeSanto, the same Tom DeSanto whose upcoming Transformers film is poised to rape the collective childhoods of the Internet this summer. DeSanto's ultimate goal with this license, aside from painting flames on crude facsimilies of Wolverine, is to create a live-action feature, that could then be segued into a possible television program (which, in theory, could lead to lunchboxes, latex paint and fuzzy underoos).

Creating a film based on a title most notable for its robust character creation screen is certainly going to be a challenge, but if Mr. DeSanto has proven anything so far, it's that he has an innate ability to throw money at things that suspiciously resemble female genitalia. One might wonder how his talent can help in this situation, to which we answer: how can't it?