If you love Monster Hunter games and think cheating is brilliant, Capcom's here to make your life difficult. Unless you're immortal, that is. According to the above image, anybody caught cheating at Monster Hunter 3 will face a 7,000 year ban, able to play again in the last month of 9999.
Hilariously, however, that's just strike one of the ban. In 7,000 years, Capcom intends to make good on its promise to let you play again, promising a lifetime ban on the second strike, not the first. The best part about this is that Capcom warns players as if a lifetime ban is somehow worse than a 7,000 year ban. I mean, it technically is, but you'd have to be Thor himself for it to have any effect.
"Because you used modified data to connect online, you're now banned. The ban will be lifted at 22:49 on 12/12/9999," explains the message to cheaters. "In the future, if you violate the terms of service, it is possible that you will be banned for good."
Don't say you haven't been warned.