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5:00 PM on 01.11.2015

Give me games inspired by weirdos and madmen

Celebrities are making games now, this is a thing we're going to have to live with. Kim Kardashian's done it, RuPaul's done it (and apparently her game is surprisingly fun, as our Jonathan Holmes discovered), and of course, 5...

Nic Rowen

2:00 PM on 01.09.2015

2014's Game of the Year from 2006 because 2014 kind of sucked for games

Yes, it's now 2015--though I'm still writing 2014 on all my checks!!!--but how can anyone do a definitive Game of the Year award until the year is officially over? Until that big dang ball drops down in The Big Apple, the Big...

Steven Hansen

8:00 AM on 01.07.2015

The best One Direction songs to describe indescribable gaming feelings

It's 2015. It's an age of sexiness and carelessness, a time when Snapchat and Tinder are far more popular than table etiquette apps (much to my chagrin). Yet, this blasted Internet webpage is writing about decidedly unsexy to...

Brett Makedonski

10:00 AM on 01.03.2015

Assigning New Year's resolutions to major videogame studios

It's an annual tradition: Making resolutions to kick off the New Year. There's a whole new arbitrary set of twelve months in which to better ourselves. Or, you know, make the same mistakes we made in the last dozen. It's finally time to quit smoking or start going to the gym. Whatever. Here's a bunch of words about what videogame companies should do to shape up in 2015.

Kyle MacGregor

5:00 PM on 12.31.2014

GOTY 2014: Best evidence that we should go full communism

I'm back, baby! You thought Steven Hansen's Destructoid's 2014 GOTY awards were done at three, come sambuca con la mosca? That we want health, happiness, and prosperity, rather than four (death)? We're up all night to get unl...

Steven Hansen

1:00 PM on 12.19.2014

GOTY 2014: Best interpretive representation of Jeff Goldblum

Someone once told me I talk like Jeff Goldblum. This is not true. I also don't look like Charlie Day, Peter Frampton, Bret McKenzie, Michael Sheen, or Dikembe Mutombo. But at least I appreciated the former (tip: don...

Steven Hansen

10:30 AM on 12.19.2014

Predicting the next Telltale Games series

The people at Telltale Games are wizards. There's no other explanation. They have an uncanny ability to coax money men into handing over the keys to some of the most valuable properties in the entertainment business. Then the...

Kyle MacGregor

4:00 PM on 12.17.2014

GOTY 2014: Best musical

What a dismal showing this year. Last year had Frozen, which tailed into this year, world without end, amen, with a long icy tail like Halley's comet. When are we going to have the "Let it Go" of videogames? We'll never ...

Steven Hansen

2:00 PM on 12.17.2014

GOTY 2014: Best willful misspelling in a title

Might be your taste makers on this webpage made a Huge™ boner and left Samurai Gunn out of its 2014 game of the year plans. Because of its mid-December 2013 release, it was left out last year, too, and should ...

Steven Hansen

2:30 PM on 12.04.2014

The perfect games for your holiday get-togethers

The holidays are fast approaching, and that means quality time with all the family you haven't seen since last year. Unfortunately, "quality time" can quickly devolve into awkward small talk and watching It's a Wonderful Life...

Nic Rowen

2:00 PM on 11.14.2014

Horrible words we should ban from videogame titles

Lords of the Fallen and Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare just came out and they should be laughed out the damn building for their horrible, generic videogames names. I originally typed "Armored Warfare" and ...

Steven Hansen

4:00 PM on 11.09.2014

Majora's Mask is my favorite game about being a young adult

Ocarina of Time is one of those incredibly well made games that just never clicked with me. Maybe it's because it was too much like A Link to the Past, except everything looks worse and takes longer to do. Maybe it's bec...

Jonathan Holmes

3:00 PM on 10.23.2014

Dr. Capcom's monster: Resident Evil 5 blows

Halloween approaches and my evenings have been filled with practical effects and Italian prog rock as The Thing, Inferno, Suspiria et al. grace my TV. Dale North recently wrote on why survival horror might just be old ha...

Steven Hansen

3:30 PM on 10.17.2014

Confessional: I make up my own stories for games

So here is a dumb thing I do: I make up my own stories in games. No, I'm not just talking about RPGs like Fallout or Skyrim where the entire point is to go out and make your own mark on the world. I'm talking about just about...

Nic Rowen

2:00 PM on 10.15.2014

Is classic Survival Horror considered old fashioned now?

I like to be scared. I'm not some kind of dark-obsessed weirdo, though. I just really enjoy the feeling of being tense or terrified, so much so that I used to think that there was something wrong with me. Maybe there is. A fe...

Dale North

2:00 PM on 10.13.2014

Bored of the things: Shadow of Mordor should've been a dating sim

I was reading Weird Dad Andy Astruc's loving look at Shadow of Mordor's menus, which is basically praise for Mordor's Nemesis system. The same system left our own Nic Rowen giddy and, uh, shitfaced. N...

Steven Hansen