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Home Castlevania updates

Castlevania Judgment's Maria wants bigger breasts
5:56 PM on 11.23.2008, Hamza CTZ Aziz 57 comments

     Castlevania
 
Castlevania Judgment recently came out and a lot of people think it’s nothing special. The only person I know that seems to like it is Jonathan Holmes.
 
Whether the game really sucks or not is not the point of this post. The point is boobies. More specifically, one of the characters in Castlevania Judgment story involves her wanting bigger breasts. Maria, who uses an owl as a weapon, (don’t tell PETA!) can’t help but notice how the other fighters in the game have some big melons. In fact, she thinks giant jugs are a “sacred gift.”
 
Greatest story line ever? Also, the voice acting is horrendously funny.    
 

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Placentasaurus's Avatar
Placentasaurus at 11/23/2008 18:03
That's hilarious in a pitiful and depressing way.
mikeyed's Avatar
mikeyed at 11/23/2008 18:05
It's not the boob in the fight, but the fight in the boob.
Charles Sharam's Avatar
Charles Sharam at 11/23/2008 18:05
Also notable is that her opponents' breasts are progressively larger as she move through the game's "story." Presumably, for climactic plot development.

Or maybe they just like tits at Konami.
mix's Avatar
mix at 11/23/2008 18:05
About time small breasted women are recognized in video games!

If he whole point of this game is to get larger breasts consider it sold as that's pretty much the most randomly awesome story line I have ever heard of.
MrSadistic's Avatar
MrSadistic at 11/23/2008 18:10
boobs
Mikey's Avatar
Mikey at 11/23/2008 18:12
Okay... okay,


okay...


What?!

That was ridiculous.
Mista Smegheneghan's Avatar
Mista Smegheneghan at 11/23/2008 18:20
...

very strange indeed. also, crazy camera angles annoy me.
Blind assassin's Avatar
Blind assassin at 11/23/2008 18:26
That's probably one of the most absurd things ever.
MotoRobo's Avatar
MotoRobo at 11/23/2008 18:32
lolicon?
That's realistic. A girl growing up wants bigger tits when she notices women have 'em. Yet when her butt's good'n big she starts wishing it were smaller...
If women had real-life dials to modify their figures, like models in a character creator, they'd fiddle w/them throughout the day.
ThunderHeartXI's Avatar
ThunderHeartXI at 11/23/2008 18:33
I've been looking at stupid animu shit all day, but I think this tops it.

Congratulations CTZ, you've managed to find something that makes me cringe an ungodly amount.
GohanGVO's Avatar
GohanGVO at 11/23/2008 18:34


Sold.
DemonEyes23's Avatar
DemonEyes23 at 11/23/2008 18:36
@mikeyed
truer words were never spoken
grafkhun's Avatar
grafkhun at 11/23/2008 18:44
Sacred gifts indeed, Konami always sneaking in breasts in CV games, gotta love it. Anyways, still not interested in CV: Judgement, despite Maria commentating on boobs.
SuitcoatAvenger's Avatar
SuitcoatAvenger at 11/23/2008 18:52
Look, if you dedicate your entire living to hunting down and killing fiends of the night there should never be a case where you utter "omigod vampire!"

You don't see people who work at McDonald's yelling "omigod pickles!" as they prepare your burger.
Aziel13's Avatar
Aziel13 at 11/23/2008 18:54
*fap fap fap fap*
=0.0=
I mean *clap clap clap*
whormongr's Avatar
whormongr at 11/23/2008 18:55
SuitcoatAvenger "Look, if you dedicate your entire living to hunting down and killing fiends of the night there should never be a case where you utter "omigod vampire!""
...
don't you mean udder "omigod vampire!
Mikey's Avatar
Mikey at 11/23/2008 19:00
I'm pretty sure he meant utter.
carg0's Avatar
carg0 at 11/23/2008 19:18
i...have not the words
Christiangamer's Avatar
Christiangamer at 11/23/2008 19:23
What the final boss for her? Ivy?
ParaParaKing's Avatar
ParaParaKing at 11/23/2008 19:26
What? I want this game. In a strange perverted way, that has nothing to do with Maria's breasts.
RAB's Avatar
RAB at 11/23/2008 19:28
dare I say.. she's on a ... BOOBIE-QUEST?!
Cough's Avatar
Cough at 11/23/2008 19:29
Powerful stuff.
SuitcoatAvenger's Avatar
SuitcoatAvenger at 11/23/2008 19:31
@whormongr;

Dictionary.com.
kapshhh's Avatar
kapshhh at 11/23/2008 19:32
That's a big owl. Also boobs.
RAB's Avatar
RAB at 11/23/2008 19:42
or even a.. BREAST-QUEST?


amirite guyz?
Arcanum's Avatar
Arcanum at 11/23/2008 19:44
what.
Jayson Napolitano's Avatar
Jayson Napolitano at 11/23/2008 19:51
Haha, I sent this to your tips line on the launch day (Tuesday?). Looks like you guys skipped over it.

She talks about boobs pretty regularly. Three separate times, actually.
The Amazing Shenazin's Avatar
The Amazing Shenazin at 11/23/2008 20:03
wow, now I actually want to rent the game for laughs
MaximusDarr's Avatar
MaximusDarr at 11/23/2008 20:20
Udderly fantastic! See what I did there?...God, I'm lame...Seriously, breast storyline ever! Dammit!
Jellybean Quisling Man-cheese XII's Avatar
Jellybean Quisling Man-cheese XII at 11/23/2008 20:35
Too bad she's only got one owl, cuz then it ain't hooters, get it? You know hooters, funbags, sweater meat, breasticles.
MF DOOM's Avatar
MF DOOM at 11/23/2008 20:44
sacred gift is awesome!
Rosseh's Avatar
Rosseh at 11/23/2008 20:50
Poorly written and poorly spoken. How does this trash still keep coming out?
Qalamari's Avatar
Qalamari at 11/23/2008 20:53
She sounds like Dot from Animaniacs. That just gives it a whole 'nother layer of WRONG.
Kyousuke Nanbu's Avatar
Kyousuke Nanbu at 11/23/2008 21:25
That's supposed to be Maria after SOTN?

This game just gets worse and worse the more I hear about it.
Crunshii's Avatar
Crunshii at 11/23/2008 21:43
"Those are sacred Gifts!"

Other from the boobs... nothing else looks good. I really hate those timed dialogs that are not fluent...
F Whipple's Avatar
F Whipple at 11/23/2008 22:38
Those silly japanese...INSTA-BUY!!
Chocobo Knight's Avatar
Chocobo Knight at 11/23/2008 22:44
Oh good grief!
Dexter345's Avatar
Dexter345 at 11/23/2008 22:47
Best storyline ever? YES.
Danzflor's Avatar
Danzflor at 11/23/2008 23:08
One More Reason to Love Konami :3
Xhumation's Avatar
Xhumation at 11/23/2008 23:38
I had a really crappy sunday.

and this made me laugh so much, thanks Hamza

..Also Bewbs
Cutie Honey's Avatar
Cutie Honey at 11/24/2008 00:09
@Kyousuke:
No, that's around Rondo of Blood.
She's 12.

Also, Kyousuke is spelled 'Kyosuke'.
Syn's Avatar
Syn at 11/24/2008 00:16
That's a shame. She turns into a super-hottie later when she's older. Breast size is basically irrelevant until they become nonexistant.
Im OK's Avatar
Im OK at 11/24/2008 01:13
What.
BattyAdroit's Avatar
BattyAdroit at 11/24/2008 01:40
cho-mo approved.
Mr Wrighty 987's Avatar
Mr Wrighty 987 at 11/24/2008 03:03
boobies!!!!
Cowzilla3's Avatar
Cowzilla3 at 11/24/2008 08:01
Breasticles! That's pretty much the most ridiculous thing ever.
Transbot's Avatar
Transbot at 11/24/2008 11:00
Right. Carry on.
Face's Avatar
Face at 11/24/2008 12:00
As a huge Castlevania fan, I find this deliciously awful. I must have it.
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