With the release of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night this week on XBLA, gamers new and old to the series have had a chance to get in on one of the best 2D games since Custer’s Revenge. And like Custer’s Revenge, Castlevania is all about one thing: raping Indians. But that's beside the point. While the majority of XBLA in-game leaderboards focus primarily on high scores, Castlevania’s are focused on how fast you can get your undead pretty boy arse from point A to point B.
So in celebration of speed and perhaps to help make your way around the inverted castle a bit easier, follow the jump for a collection of speed run videos for SOTN. As an added bonus, a Maria speed run is thrown in despite her only being playable in the Japanese Saturn version. Take that democracy!!
For those of you who don’t know, the art of speed-running came about during the 1930’s when gamers who could only afford Yellow Megaman and one game a year had to find a way to feel superior over the kids whose families could afford multiple systems, a bigger TV, and food.
From top to bottom, you get the Alucard speed-run, then Richters which is flaccid and much shorter, and finally Maria. Obviously these videos contain spoilers, and it should be noted that the scene with Alucard urinating on the three German school girls may be considered to be NSFW in certain countries (Germany not being one of them).