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Cashwh0re shirts are finally available and you can win! photo

Destructoid is proud to announce... well, maybe not proud, but, let's say ashamed to admit? We now have Cashwh0re shirts on sale on our marketplace. Stop reading this post and go buy now! At only $14.95 you can't go wrong.

Tralse things about our shirts:

Each shirt may or may not come with 100 bucks and a Nintendo Wii!

If you buy this shirt, Adrianna Lima will seduce you... or not!

No Paris Hilton's were harmed in production... Unfortunately!

Each shirt is or isn't made from endangered baby snow owls!

So click Here now and make your dreams all come true! Exclamation points! Hit the jump to find out how you can win and maybe how you can save Nick Chester's life by buying these shirts... Or not.

 

 

hot

Celebrating Cashwh0re's 6 year anniversary and also our 2 month anniversary of lying about it, we have to have a way of enjoying it with you. Destructoid loves our community, and we also love, need our life juice, overly enjoy, sometimes imbibe in the spirits. So to combine these two great things we will be buying the booze for you. This could be the best $14.95 you will ever spend. Especially if you are underage! Destructoid.com does not condone the use of alcohol by minors... but Cashwh0re does. So next week if we spot you at GDC, or around San Francisco, in a Cashwh0re shirt, we are buying you a drink. (Bail money not included in T-shirt offer)

 But wait! How can you win? Well, for no clear reason, I cannot control my hate for Paris Hilton. So make me laugh by adding a caption to the attached Paris Hilton picture, and we will send out shirts to the 3 funniest entries.

LAUNCH GALLERY (3 IMAGES)
Photo Photo Photo







Contests Official Rules



No Purchase Required to Enter or Win

1. Eligibility: Destructoid.com contests are usually provided by sponsors who, due to customs and shipping costs (yay budgets), often limit participation to individuals who are legal residents of the fifty (50) United States (unless otherwise stated) and are 12 years of age. We encourage our overseas friends to be super sneaky and make a friend in the United States who can receive your prize, and then you two figure out the customs/logistics. Be cautious about who you trust, obviously. Employees of destructoid.com, their advertising or promotion agencies, those involved in the production, development, implementation or handling of Contests, any agents acting for, or on behalf of the above entities, their respective parent companies, officers, directors, subsidiaries, affiliates, licensees, service providers, prize suppliers any other person or entity associated with the Contests (collectively “Contest Entities”) and/or the immediate family (spouse, parents, siblings and children) and household members (whether related or not) of each such employee, are *not* eligible and will be fired and publicly beaten if are caught participating. All U.S., federal, state and local and regulations apply.

2. Agreement to Official Rules: Participation in the Contest constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to and acceptance of these Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

3. Entry Period: The start and end dates/times of each Contest (the “Entry Period”) will be posted on the applicable Contest site.

4. Entry: To enter a Contest, follow the instructions on the Contest site. Submission will result in one (1) entry. The number of times you can enter the Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The use of any agencies or automated software to submit entries will void all entries submitted by that person.

5. Drawing: At the conclusion of the Entry Period, we will select the names of the potential winners in a random drawing of all eligible entries received during each Entry Period. The number of winners to be selected in a specific Contest will be posted on the applicable Contest site. The odds of being selected as a potential winner depend on the number of eligible entries received during the Entry Period. Potential winners will be contacted via email and will be asked to provide their full name, age and mailing address within a specified time period. If a potential winner does not respond within the timeframe stated in the notification email, we may select an alternate potential winner in his/her place at random from all entries received during the Entry Period. Limit one (1) prize per household per Contest.

6. Requirements of the Potential Winners: Winners will be notified by the e-mail address associated with their account on destructoid.com.com and/or receive a Private Message on destructoid.com.com or through a Twitter Direct Message/Facebook message. Winners have five (5) days from the original message alerting them of their winnings to respond and claim their prize. If no winner comes forward within five business days, the prize will be forfeited and raffled again where Destructoid's hardcore fans are most active (forums/community blogs/facebook group).

7. Prize(s): The prize(s) (including each prize’s approximate retail value) available to be won in a specific Contest will be posted on the Contest site. No cash or other substitution may be made, except by the Sponsor, who reserves the right to substitute a prize with another prize of equal or greater value if the prize is not available for any reason as determined by the Sponsor in its sole discretion. The winners are responsible for any taxes and fees associated with receipt or use of a prize. Prizes will be mailed between 1 to 45 business days after winners have replied with their required info.

8. General Conditions: In the event that the operation, security, or administration of the Contest is impaired in any way for any reason, including, but not limited to fraud, virus, or other technical problem, the Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, either: (a) suspend the Contest to address the impairment and then resume the Contest in a manner that best conforms to the spirit of these Official Rules; or (b) award the prizes at random from among the eligible entries received up to the time of the impairment. The Sponsor reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, the Sponsor reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. The Sponsor’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. In case of a dispute as to the owner of an entry, entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the screen name from which the entry is made. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, online service provider, or other organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.

9.Release and Limitations of Liability: By participating in the Contest, entrants agree to release and hold harmless the Contest Entities from and against any claim or cause of action arising out of participation in the Contest or receipt or use of any prize, including, but not limited to: (a) unauthorized human intervention in the Contest; (b) technical errors related to computers, servers, providers, or telephone or network lines; (c) printing errors; (d) lost, late, postage-due, misdirected, or undeliverable mail; (e) errors in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (f) injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt of any prize. Entrant further agrees that in any cause of action, the Contest Entities’ liability will be limited to the cost of entering and participating in the Contest, and in no event shall the Contest Entities be liable for attorney’s fees. Entrant waives the right to claim any damages whatsoever, including, but not limited to, punitive, consequential, direct, or indirect damages.

10. Disputes: Except where prohibited, entrant agrees that any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of, or connected with, the Contest or any prize awarded shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, entrant’s rights and obligations, or the rights and obligations of the Sponsors in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the Commonwealth of Virginia or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the Commonwealth of Virginia.

11. Contest Results: To enter the contest without needing to buy/sell anything or request a written copy of the name of the winners, send a self-addressed stamped envelope (stating the specific Contest you are requesting the winners for) to destructoid.com Contest Winners 260 King Street Suite 883, San Francisco California 94107. We run many contests, so please be specific in what you are requesting. Winner requests must be received within thirty (30) days from the end date of the applicable contest (they're always posted on our site though). Winners are usually posted the day following the contest on our contest section.

Lastly, Destructoid has the right to kick your ass and take away your prize if you are a total dickhead, so be cool and don't kick any puppies on your way to victory. Have fun with our contests and be a good sport when you win or lose. Remember: First you get the power, then you get the money, then get the baby.

 




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120 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:51
Coonskin05
First
Tino's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:51
Tino
Were selling Paris Hilton?
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:51
wardrox
TSHIRTS YOU SAY?
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:52
Bob Muir
Oh boy!
KamikazeTutor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:53
KamikazeTutor
Free syphilis?
tsunamikitsune's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:53
tsunamikitsune
Dtoid condoms? Dtoid themed Mountain Dew?

WHAT COULD IT BE? The suspense is killing me!
Pygmy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:54
Pygmy
100 twitching eyes?
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:54
blehman
Let's see...It's a Benjamin Upstanding Citizen! Must be a watch then...
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:54
EternalDeathSlayer
The picture is genius, tells me all I need to know.

Definitely picking one up.
Pedro Blandino's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:54
Pedro Blandino
ill buy it
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:54
MaxVest
You're paying for my droopy eyelid surgery? The suspense is killing me!!!!
Gregor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:55
Gregor
wooohooo!!!
Tino's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:56
Tino
I'm also fairly sure someone all ready C-Blogged this.
WDot's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:57
WDot
Wait, Niero in Dtoid mask and Hilton unreleased sex tape?
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:57
Hoygeit
I'm already sold.
Simon's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 16:59
Simon
Colour me interested
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:00
mix
I totally agree, that write up is amazing! For anyone who skipped out on parts and skimmecd through it not grasping the entire concept of beauty you are all douche bags.

Ok, you peaked my interest, I will buy destructoid for $100 and I will raise you whats in my pocket.
stevephoenix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:00
stevephoenix
this is relevant to my interests.
Gregor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:00
Gregor


PREPARE YOURSELVES
HarassmentPanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:02
HarassmentPanda
oh, he can and WILL sell it
BluDesign's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:03
BluDesign
Finally, my 100 copies of "One Night in Paris" I sent to Ron months ago are going to be handed out. I'm glad I spent that $3,000 on something worthwhile.
Tino's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:06
Tino
I totally know what it is.
Jaren Face's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:07
Jaren Face
...Destructoid hoodies?
I'd totally buy those.
foxhound009's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:08
foxhound009
KamikazeTutor:

hahahha I totally see it xD it's the only facial expression she knows :D ..

What could they sell... hmmmmm... Is jim becoming a prostitute?
niero? Collette? ok, who's becoming whore? I need to know..
haven't prepared myself to it.
MrPeenie's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:08
MrPeenie
Give me Ps3 PLZ!
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:08
Kryptinite
I finally get my own robot head?
JRisJunior's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:09
JRisJunior
oh man i figured it out!! lol i hope i have enough money to buy it, seriously.
Knivy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:09
Knivy
Could you tell me now, please?
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:09
the GAMEGOBLIN
Sauceome.
Silverback 55's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:10
Silverback 55
I figured it out.

/dancing & singing like an annoying 6 year old/
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:12
mix
To all these people that know what it is: how?

$100 is not expensive for something sweet, so if it's sweet I will buy it!
broonor's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:12
broonor
Excellent how no one has been artardy enough to spoil it :P
Niero's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:12
Niero
oh, I see what you did there.
BoXDoS's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:13
BoXDoS
Already have 4.
Silverhertz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:14
Silverhertz
Destructoid brand gerbils?! What kind of madness is this!
fyre's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:15
fyre
I wanna win Paris.......well.....maybe I don't, does she come with a 30 day return policy?
ian_esq's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:17
ian_esq
I want to win this
LostCrichton's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:19
LostCrichton
can't wait.
Kryptinite's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:20
Kryptinite
You're taking me to GDC??? Ron that's fucking awesome. You rock but I don't see how this has anything to do with merchandise.
kaz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:21
kaz
You're auctioning off a date with Paris Hilton? I guess so long as she's been taking her valtrex.........also take a box of the Dtoid condoms.
that1dood's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:21
that1dood
wha wha what? GDC? Do want! So bad DO WANT!
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:22
Y0j1mb0
Can I has a ....Ca$hwhore T-Shirt??

O_o
Neonie's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:24
Neonie
One...hundred...hilton.

Hundred Dollars Hilton

Money Hilton.

One Hundred Paris.

Hundred Dollar Paris....

Money paris.
Genki-JAM's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:24
Genki-JAM
Oh snap! $100 AND Paris Hilton?!

Um.. maybe I could just auction Hilton off on eBay.. or something...
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:26
wardrox
If this is a US only competition again, I will be mailing you mu Poo.
Clockwork's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:29
Clockwork
OMFG PARIS HILTON?
iRaf 's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:31
iRaf
Got it. It's a new universal currency, with the dtoid robot, that paris hilton likes, and will be revealed at GDC, and people will like it soo much that there will be parties, with lots of alcohol.

also, run-on sentence.
Tino's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2008 17:35
Tino
Who said it's a contest.
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