Calling all plastic guitar jockeys: Activision wants to put you in Guitar Hero

1:42 PM on 03.24.2008   |   Niero

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Class clowns, singers, gymnasts, flexible accountants and pyromaniacs: listen up.  Activision has launched www.releaseyourrockstar.com and looking for some freak-nasty Guitar Hero home video performances for a chance to win stuff! (as if the Internet wasn't already full of these). I know that some little hearts out there just peculated at the thought of this. You know who I'm talking about. Hell, maybe you're one of them. Had you not taken that irresistible job at the meat packing plant your emo goth band Red Scrotum Torment would have been an international sensation. Instead, your rock talent lies repressed within, and you've been subjecting friends to your performances since the game came out.  Finally, a chance to crawl out of your grandmother's crack house and be recognized by the world! 

Why bother? The grand prize winner be flown in a cloud of VIP euphoria to Neversoft in California to get immortalized in the next Guitar Hero game and others will win a plethora of piñatas including HD TVs, consoles, face plates, and more. This sure beats the authentic rock and roll experience which consists of long smelly drives across the desert with unbathed men, certain liver damage, collect all the STDs your groupies can deliver, and spending your gray years at a mental ward dousing Vicks Vapor Rub on your cheap snake tattoos. In diapers. Crying.

So get out there, break everyone's legs, rock out with your penis exposed, and tell them we sent you. Destructoid would also like to see your videos, so link us out from your cblogs and we'll support our community entries.  So best of luck to you and your stiff little fingers! Remember, its not about how well you play -- its about how far you can dress up like a girl without getting beat up by guys who also look like girls, but to a lesser degree. Check out the official press release:

Activision Scours Internet for Hardest Rockin’ Mortal to Feature in Next Guitar Hero!

The right planets have finally aligned. The time has come for the world’s rock messiah to come forth and offer up face-melting salvation to the masses. Activision is looking to finally crown the one true Guitar Hero and create a character in his or her likeness to be featured in the next Guitar Hero!

Anyone can shed their mortal coil and see themselves scorch the stage like their glorious icons. How do you do it? It’s very simple: make a video recording of yourself imbuing anything from a guitar to a Guitar Hero controller to a tennis racket with the mystical power of rock; shred to the best of your ability to your favourite rock song and administer lordship over the universe through whatever axe you choose to wield. Then register on www.releaseyourrockstar.com and upload your video. Every week we will take the best clips and put them together in a righteous montage that may very well offset the Earth’s axis. The videos will also stand alone as their own competitive submissions.

The video which receives the most diggs, blogs, views, and online postings will win its creator the Grand Prize, not to mention eternal glory—a character created in his or her likeness in the next incarnation of Guitar Hero! We’ll give you a new video camera and laptop so you can document the entire experience once we fly you out to Neversoft in sunny California! Runner’s up prizes will include an incredible VIP rock experience on our dime as well as loads of Guitar Hero prizes like controllers, games, game consoles, faceplates, and HD screens.

This is your chance to prove to the galaxy your insane skills and to prove it over and over again, right in the faces of your fellow gamers, as your likeness wails on stage in Guitar Hero.