This morning I set out to purchase a PS3 for our contest winner of the month, Matthew in the UK. Our neighboring Europeans can't buy the damn things for another 3 months so he's more than happy to get an NTSC version from Destructoid, and we are much abliged to make this happen. We've all heard that PS3s have become more available than 14-year-old Taiwanese trannies, but little did I know that I'd end up with two 60GB systems within an hour of trying. I'm still surprised that there are two just sitting in my sofa as I type this despite all of the bloodshed and drama these things caused in recent weeks. Blows my mind.

Going on a tip from Colette's article about the seedy PS3 Blackmarket, I attempted to take a console off one of our local scalpers -- and even offered a premium before attempting to shop during daylight hours.

I wrote to a guy who had two consoles and offered $100 more than retail if he would please deliver them to me in my office where my team could club him with staplers if he tried something funny. He refused -- after having spent days in line and incurred costs, he was looking for a profit of $125 per console minimum. I went to Circuit City yesterday and didn't see any, but I suspected I could do better. Biding my time, I slept on it and made a few calls on my lunch break. It went like this ...

Walmart North Miami - Nope, clueless

Circuit City Midtown - Nope, shipment is 1 week late

Target North Biscayne - "Why'd you call the Pharmacy?"

Target Midtown - Nope, and we hate our customers here

... think Niero think ... OH, DUH!!! 

Walmart Hialeah - ¿Que?

Gamestop in the middle of the ghetto - "We have a few."

Bingo.

He wouldn't hold them for me, so I was on the phone with my financial adviser and on the road in 5 minutes, supressing my hunger for the Taco Bell I would pass along the way. I personally never really craved a PS3, to be honest, until I was caught up in the shopping moment. I know I'll want one in the very near future, but for right now, I can't think of a single game I want to own. But with the Gran Turismo HD demo on the PS3 network and my Gamefly account burning a hole in the back of my brain, the thought of coming home to one was tempting. I could rent Fight Night 3 and Resistance this weekend. Why not?

I arrive at a store full of customers, women population zero. There's a kid walking circles around the Wii. They don't have any. 

Manager: "The 20 is $500 and the 60 is $600".
Niero: "I'll take 2."
Manager: "Can't do that. Limit one per customer. But I have two. It's a company policy thing"
Niero: "So if I bring a friend to buy one, it's ok?"
Manager: "As long as he buys it on his credit card, sure."

This worked out, because I didn't actually have the money for two. I was all talk. Various credit card transactions later, refusals of extended warranties, and two trips with Nido to the bank and it was a done deal. I had scored two 60GB PS3s in under an hour with just six phone calls. Cake. One for me and one soon on its way to the United Kingdom. Nido asks if he can buy a Wii. His head bowed a little and he smiled, almost as if we had just asked where magical fairies come from.

 Manager: "No sir. That's a hard one.  It's the hot commodity."

Lessons to take away from this: It was clear that the only guys who are having trouble selling them are shooting high and not keeping an ear on the news. Dtoid regular Puppet had no trouble selling his for $1,500. The guys that shot for $2,000 lost to him, I'm sure. I assume this family was among them. I offered him some pointers and wished him good luck, knowing that my offer was probably the best he was ever going to get locally. Still, $760 on eBay is still plausible, though. He'll do OK if he actually takes my advice. Maybe.

For the rest of you: believe the hype. They're not incredibly hard to find anymore, and the only people buying them at a premium just don't know where to look. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy an industrial fan.