Buy our crap! Destructoid stickers, shirts, & birth control pills now available

by Niero on 07.17.2007

NEW! The definitive sexually frustrated Super Mario Brothers gamer shirt. If you don't understand why the princess is a cockteasing bitch, please refer to Sympathy for the Bowser.

Grab it today from SplitReason for $14.95 or get the free wallpaper. Both were created by a Dtoid community member. 100% of the profits will be split between him and Rev Anthony, because they rule. Also available in the Dtoid store...

Destructoid @ SplitReason - Stickers, beanies, and our Dtoid logo shirts

We fought to keep everything relatively cheap and printed on high quality material -- nearly everything is made with delicious American Apparrel 100% cotton and are impervious to suspicious translucent stains after a good wash. Both stores are also giving away a FREE Dtoid sticker with every order. But wait, there's more! I'm personally sending out coupons for robot pony rides at events if we see you wearing our name. We hope you like rape!

In all seriousness, we also wanted to create an opportunity for designers to make cool Destructoid stuff and get paid for their work, so that's exactly what we've done. Proceeds from the sales go directly to cocks you probably already know: Hushgush, Ron Workman, Marques, UrbanRetro, and yours truly. Destructoid also refuses to support a starving model's coffee/lettuce/cocaine habits, so send us your action shots (outdoor preferred) and we'll add them in a gallery to this story.

We hope to introduce a new design each month, so keep those ideas coming. Send concepts to niero@destructoid.com Feedback? Suggestions? O RLY? Let us know!

SEND US YOUR ACTION SHOTS!

143 comments

Shane -Lifebane- Phelps: I was kind of hoping to find the dtoid pink thong, something frilly with lots of lace. Damnit man! Niero get with the program! more

Destroyer of Wallets

Destructoid

Gallery Images:

There are 139 comments about this post:

mrdurden4 says:
07/17/2007 16:36

i am only buying a shirt because dtoid is a bad ass playboy.

i would love to advertise for you!

RationalSide says:
07/17/2007 16:37

You know i am going to Pax
i am going to go get my passport Go on a Bus to Seattle

and i am going to shake a Destructoid editors hand.
and look into his or her eyes

And Say

your site is Decent

RationalSide says:
07/17/2007 16:38

then crawl back to the hole were i came from....

Pangloss says:
07/17/2007 16:38

This is win. I am so getting a beanie.

Pangloss says:
07/17/2007 16:40

Also, I can't seem to find Destructoid-brand condoms on either of these sites. What gives?

dvddesign says:
07/17/2007 16:40

slick.

I'm ordering one tonight.

Sheir says:
07/17/2007 16:40

This is awesome. Too awesome.

mad cow says:
07/17/2007 16:40

Me likey the DTOID Guns t-shirt.

dvddesign says:
07/17/2007 16:41

bonus points for supporting fat people sizes.

RationalSide says:
07/17/2007 16:41

well they Were Testing the durablilty of the Destrutoid brand condoms
but they were Deemed unsafe for robot Cocks

Justice says:
07/17/2007 16:43

Yeah that gun tshirt design is SW33T!

Gemsi says:
07/17/2007 16:44

Right time to go rob a post office so I can buy me some shirts

tehuberone says:
07/17/2007 16:44

Yum.

Ambulance-Y says:
07/17/2007 16:46

pay cell phone bill or dToid shirt?!?!?!?! YARG!!! I HATE THESE HARD DECISIONS!!!!111ONEone

Corncobtacular says:
07/17/2007 16:49

Does that mean Dtoid is finally going to update that "Shop" button at the top of the screen?

Sheir says:
07/17/2007 16:50

Just bought the Gun shirt.

ekoala2002 says:
07/17/2007 16:53

I have been waiting to get some Dtoid shirts!!!

DJDuffy says:
07/17/2007 16:53

ooh lala! must buy everything....oh and for the last time, it's a toque not a beanie!

AngelsDontBurn says:
07/17/2007 16:53

I totally just bought one of everything on the SplitReason site. Hahaha.

jerrt says:
07/17/2007 16:56

i totally came to this post looking for robot head shaped birth control pills. just for grins. i didn't even see 'also cocks' branded condoms. *sad*

when the money situation isn't so tight [due to a quickly approaching vacations] i'll pick me up a shirt. i like you guys and i like shirts. [:

Niero says:
07/17/2007 16:56

Thanks so much, I'm always nervous about doing this kind of stuff so I'm glad you like!

RationalSide says:
07/17/2007 16:59

would anyone buy this tee shirt

Sheir says:
07/17/2007 16:59

This is gonna look sick under my new blazer.

AngelsDontBurn says:
07/17/2007 16:59

Niero you're very welcome! I was waiting for this moment! Hahaha. The stuff definitely looks awesome!

My only wish now is a Dtoid hoodie and a cap. :D

Topher Cantler says:
07/17/2007 17:01

I'm saving up for the birth control pills.

Jim Sterling says:
07/17/2007 17:04

I love the guns one. As soon as I have moar cash in the bank, I'll drop some dubloons.

Ron NSFWorkman says:
07/17/2007 17:05

on a side note, niero does not speak for me. I will in fact support a starving model's coffee/lettuce/cocaine habits. Those tight stomach muscles from all that purging make me hott

thisissami says:
07/17/2007 17:12

sorry... one question that i've always been meaning to ask...

what exactly does STFUAJPG stand for? i've always assumed it was Shut The Fuck Up You Japanese Role Playing Game, but when closely inspected that obviously doesn't fit...

Topher Cantler says:
07/17/2007 17:14

I wish I had something funny to say like Ron, but in all honesty, I'm using the money to buy a cat laser.

PEOW PEOW PEOW

Ambulance-Y says:
07/17/2007 17:17

@ jim, don't you get an employee discount??

TheGoldenDonut says:
07/17/2007 17:17

@thisissami

It stands for Shut The Fuck Up And Just Play Games.

ScarCeLLe13 says:
07/17/2007 17:17

they should make the stickers in bulk packs or like a roll cause the stickers are kinda small

im definitely gonna buy the vintage t shirt tho

Suff0cat says:
07/17/2007 17:18

Are these new shirts awesomely soft like the Also Cocks shirt?

Ron NSFWorkman says:
07/17/2007 17:20

softer. no joke. Only good shit. thems the rules

Roryzilla says:
07/17/2007 17:20

ill see if i can send in a design! I LOVE YOU DTOID.

thisissami says:
07/17/2007 17:22

OH!!!! Thank you TheGoldenDonut!! you have enlightened me!!

GuitarAtomik says:
07/17/2007 17:23

Marques = Me = STFUAJPG shirt

Internet Famous!!!

Justice says:
07/17/2007 17:25

The last two points about the beanie state:

# Tight knit, stretches nicely. Approximately 8.5 inches long.
# One-size-fits-all

Is this some kinda of secksual ninnutendo?

Topher Cantler says:
07/17/2007 17:27

@GuitarAtomik- Awesome shirt, dude!

BahamutZero says:
07/17/2007 17:27

thongs niero, thongs. thong th thong thong thong.

king3vbo says:
07/17/2007 17:30

SHWING!

Time to empty the old wallet

Suff0cat says:
07/17/2007 17:31

Softer than Also Cocks? I don't know if my torso is prepared for such a thing.

Only one way to find out.
*orders the gun shirt*

Wedge says:
07/17/2007 17:33

OH MY GOD. I was just thinking about buying a Dtoid shirt to wear at PAX. I hadn't even realized they weren't being readily sold. Until now =O

Ron NSFWorkman says:
07/17/2007 17:40

we are working on something for people we see at PAX in Dtoid gear. You will know soon enough and it will be good.

cbebop007 says:
07/17/2007 17:43

Ooo I want!

Oni says:
07/17/2007 17:49

Please please please tell me you're bringing back the Also, Cocks shirt. I want one so bad!

Also, as soon as I get some money from my new job, I am totally buying that faux distressed one. That's fucking slick!

Paddylicious says:
07/17/2007 17:55

stfuajpg shirt for me. just ordered one, and if it's even half the quality of that also cocks t-shirt i bought a while ago i will be very pleased :3

zombie_wannabe says:
07/17/2007 18:04

i finally got a compliment from someone on the street for my also cocks shirts. Made my day.

I will definitely pick up atleast some stickers and plaster them all over town.

DJDuffy says:
07/17/2007 18:05

uhh...girl sizes? DO WANT! *cries* where's the love?!

Niero says:
07/17/2007 18:06

The also cocks shirts were American Apparrel just like these, I think you're gonna like. We could have made cheaper itchy polyester shirts but who the fuck wants to wear that? I only buy shirts that still feel good after not showering for days

GrayFox says:
07/17/2007 18:07

Very, very nice. I especially like the Guns one.

ConsFEARacy says:
07/17/2007 18:16

YES YES YES!!!!

Demios says:
07/17/2007 18:26

Ordered from both sites...Shipping cost more than the shirts combined...Totally worth it.

Nick Chester says:
07/17/2007 18:50

These designs are truly amazing. I do not get shirts for free, so I will be ordering at least one. :D

GrayFox says:
07/17/2007 18:57

The 'Guns' t-shirt was just too nice to pass up, had to get it.

ChrisFurniss says:
07/17/2007 19:06

oh my crap. that guns shirt is KICK ASS

Christina Faith Winterburn says:
07/17/2007 19:11

yeah where are the girl sizes?

emotoaster says:
07/17/2007 19:19

Damn THEY ALL LOOK GOOD....

I'm really digging the STFUJPG shirt and the crossbones one.

LostCrichton says:
07/17/2007 19:24

I just spent $60 and didn't think twice...Thanks for the early birthday gift guys!

slee says:
07/17/2007 19:30

Nice Job guys!! I likes em!!!! Hey you should consider letting the fans submit t shirt designs for you and which ever one or ones you like gets free stuff!;) Just an idea!;)

Myrmidon16 says:
07/17/2007 19:41

not only are these sites awesome on their own, but they have Dtoid apparel also. awesomeness.

BlindsideDork says:
07/17/2007 19:43

if they had the colored logo one in shirt...I'd buy it!

SLiFE says:
07/17/2007 19:49

STFUAJPG?

Be still, my beating heart.

Altair78 says:
07/17/2007 20:03

Good looking threads, I must say. If I didn't just buy the Gholes Gone Wild shirt from a different site, I would sooo buy me the "Don't hate the player" shirt.

Suff0cat says:
07/17/2007 20:12

Just ordered the gun one, the DToid logo one, and the crossbones one.

And I totally 2nd day aired the crossbones one so I can pimp it at whitetrash-fest...er Ozzfest this Saturday.

Sharpless says:
07/17/2007 20:36

Very nice. You're not going to get in trouble for the Pheonix [sic] Wright-imitating of the STFU shirt, are you?

Thanks for not raping our wallets too badly, by the way. These shirts are relatively cheap.

GuitarAtomik says:
07/17/2007 21:03

@sharpless

I doubt it. I'm pretty sure that's far enough into the parody territory to not have to worry about it.

Knives says:
07/17/2007 21:12

Nice!

Brandon Undead says:
07/17/2007 21:20

WILL HAVE GUN SHIRT!

after payday.

Sharpless says:
07/17/2007 21:21

Just making sure. Copyright laws can be a bitch. Never sure what's acceptable and what isn't, these days.

RestingSound says:
07/17/2007 21:42

I made this up myself on spreadshirt but it was itchy as hell so it hasn't got the usage it deserves. You should remake it with some high quality threads, just don't tell Jim Sterling.

UNDERSTAR says:
07/17/2007 22:13

ME GO CRZY FOR STICKERS!!! Im definetly down for a Dextructoid shirt too. My life is complete for now! =)

BuckF1tches says:
07/17/2007 22:18

Dtoid Pirate and Vintage Brown are ordered and on their way. =)

Azereki says:
07/17/2007 22:40

Raptor Jesus has answered my prayers.

kamu says:
07/17/2007 22:41

GRRR... Nerdy Shirts have THE most expensive international shipping I have come across on the whole interweb. $26 US shipping (this is their cheapest international postage option) for a freakin cloth Zelda belt to be sent to Australia?!?!?! WTF! Wigga please! I emailed them asking if it was some kind of mistake a while ago and they replied saying that's how much it costs and that way the order is trackable etc... maybe they should charge a couple grand for postage and send someone by jet to deliver it personally!!!! Come on DTOID... pick a distributor who isn't going to rape the wallets of your international minions.

kamu says:
07/17/2007 22:41

-D- says:
07/17/2007 22:44

I ordered some swag because the lifestyle of an international robot playboy needs to be maintained

BlindsideDork says:
07/17/2007 22:48

Who wants to be my favoritest person and buy me the zapper shirt?

Peez? I will do a clog tomorrow about how GREAT you are :D

Detry says:
07/17/2007 23:08

I GAVE YOU MY MONIEZ

:D

Farktoid says:
07/17/2007 23:59

Okay guys, I bought your STFUAJPG shirt. HAPPY NOW?

You do know splitreason is in BC Canada, right? If those silly canucks spill their poutine or their butter tarts on my shirt they're gonna be hell to pay, eh?

Detry says:
07/18/2007 01:20

And for the love of Jeebus get some spaghetti strap Also Cocks t-shirts available.

You know, for the ladies.

Detry says:
07/18/2007 02:45

EXS:

Banj says:
07/18/2007 03:16

I'm keeping the British end up by ordering the vintage shirt.

...although it said 'Please allow one million years for delivery'

p.s. t-shirts are CHEAP from the colonials.

atheistium says:
07/18/2007 05:05

True Banj, True!

Virtualgirl says:
07/18/2007 07:37

I cry now too...the measuring list says that the mens small is bigger than the womens extra large??? is that true???? I WANT ONE!!! Anyone already have a shirt from the staff that can vouch on the size???

Sharpless says:
07/18/2007 12:44

Electro, man, I hear you. I'm a brokeass ho', myself. One day I shall own a D-toid shirt, though.

KyleGamgee says:
07/18/2007 15:30

I will reiterate the need for camisoles(sp?) and thongs and such for the Dtoid ladies. Think of the Pictures Thread!

Samit Sarkar says:
07/18/2007 18:04

I will totally buy the STFUAJPG and vintage DTOID logo shirts

...as soon as I get my paycheck next Friday.

BigPopaGamer says:
07/19/2007 08:49

Just ordered the vintage shirt, plan on ordering the STFUAJPG soon. And probably the beanie too.

PwnDaddy says:
07/19/2007 11:51

I'm gonna get the vintage shirt....but the proceeds need to go in making another Also, cocks t-shirt ( I missed the boat for getting one by like 10 minutes last time. It pains me). Hell, I'll design one for ya. There you go, most the work done already!

Suff0cat says:
07/20/2007 23:17

I got my Crossbones shirt from NerdyShirts today, but no DToid stickers :(

Mxyzptlk says:
07/21/2007 04:05

I want everything. But first I want some money so I can afford everything.

Alaphic says:
07/21/2007 04:23

I don't think I've ever been awaiting pay day so anxiously before. The beanie is a massive win, and I'm prolly gonna have to invest in all of the shirts at some point or another.

Dtoid bumper stickers or vinyl? I'd like to show my car some Also, Cocks love as well. I know you can do it, so don't act like you can't.

Niero says:
07/24/2007 17:21

Rumor: Different Also Cocks shirt coming next month?!!

mid3vol says:
07/25/2007 09:32

noodle strap also cocks shirts would be great. i still think we need detoid green hoodies and more of tiff's robot plushes <33

arcadias says:
07/25/2007 11:49

Get paid at midnight, will be straight on to buy some of these.

Any chance of getting the Rampage shirt back? That design was awesome and I missed it the first time around.

Niero says:
07/25/2007 16:30

Yup! Rampage shirt coming up soon, we're going to reissue some of last year's shirts in different colors.

arcadias says:
07/25/2007 17:00

Awesomes!

AngelsDontBurn says:
07/26/2007 09:20

Niceee!
I'm debating to make a dtoid hoodie before PAX.

dorock says:
07/26/2007 14:06

omg more tight t-shirts to wear out clubbing! SQUEEE!

mid3vol says:
07/27/2007 11:08

PLEASE can i get a higher resolution also cocks picture. i want it made before pax so i want to see about getting the image in a couple days. i have a smaller pic but they said that wouldn't work. BOO. anyways, anyone that can help i'll give you a free lapdance. by a stripper that is.

Niero says:
07/27/2007 11:37

lol we have an also cocks bootlegger! just find me at PAX and I'll give you one, dude ;)

Otsegowupiwupi says:
08/03/2007 14:35

where are the birth control pills? me and my gf would like to by some

trydizon says:
08/09/2007 20:31

i finally got my crossbones shirt, but no sticker.
SADFACE

niero, hook it up!...yo.

Lowtax says:
08/11/2007 16:46

WHERE IS THE DESTRUCTOID HELMET AT, I NEED TO REPRESENT IN THE M-TOWN :[

Niero says:
08/12/2007 20:27

Sorry the stickers werent shipping with the first batch of NerdyShirts orders, there was a factory problem with that. Please email at niero [at] destructoid.com if you didn't receive it later in the mail and I'll get it fixed. Thanks!!!

Lowtax says:
08/17/2007 13:40

WHERE IS MY HELMET? I WANT TO REPRESENT THE DTOID IN THE MTOWN WITH MY DIZAWGS IN THE STREET CORNER PLAYIN A BRICK GAMEBOY WITH AN ADDIDAS JUMPSUIT A CASE OF PABST BLUE RIBBON A BOOM BOX AND A DTOID HELMET ._.

Memphis, TN. Work harder nigga.

MechaMonkey says:
08/18/2007 17:54

Halloween is rapidly approaching. You'll be missing out on an exorbitant amount of cash if the Mr. Destructoid and Ron Workman costumes aren't ready by then.

Slacker says:
08/20/2007 22:54

I want a fucking "Also, Cocks" shirt goddammit.

Slacker says:
08/20/2007 22:56

Wow, I'm awesome. I said that, then noticed it was up there. Sweet, it's like my wish was instantly granted.

No, it wasn't me not paying attention.

Lightthrower says:
08/21/2007 08:21

Bought an Also Cocks shirt and a Rampage one also, can't wait for them to ship out!

IronRinn says:
08/21/2007 09:18

I want to thank you Niero for the new "Also, Cocks" shirt. Charcoal and added comma. Bought!

BADInc says:
08/30/2007 01:01

I dont know which one to get

BS3 Owner says:
09/17/2007 21:59

The DTOID Sticker that adorns my BS3 looks AWSOME!

Thanx-A-Million... Yet, AGAIN DTOID!

Snaileb says:
09/25/2007 13:01

I just got my Nintendo Zappertoid shirt! Thanks Niero, the rampage one is next.

mackisawesome says:
09/27/2007 08:54

ALSO SOCKS!

tehArtist says:
09/29/2007 12:51

What sizes do they come in?

asta says:
10/05/2007 03:50

this sucks, the also cocks shirt is still listed "ships early to mid september" by now it's mid october!
really begs the question: is this shirt like duke nukem forever?

VampireChrist says:
10/24/2007 17:16

how much for

UNDERSTAR says:
11/14/2007 23:20

I order my D-Toid shirt and stickers in the beginning of Oct and now its gonna be the end of Nov. I emailed splitreason but they said its out of stock and have to wait til they get more. What pisses me off even more is that theyre still selling the items that were "sold out". This is LAME!!!

foxhound009 says:
12/01/2007 10:25

about those birth controle pills you've send me.......

Niero says:
12/04/2007 20:44

Hi Understar -- thanks for bringing that to my attention. I'll go check that out with them and see what I can do.

AgentMOO says:
12/08/2007 13:22

Allez shirts!

pedrovay2003 says:
12/09/2007 01:10

So, in that third photo --- Does the girl come with the shirt? Cuz you'll have a definite sale coming from me... ;)

tkyy says:
12/09/2007 13:56

how dare you insult princess bitc... peach!

ShadowXOR says:
12/27/2007 12:17

When are you getting more shirts in? They have been out of stock practically since the day you announced the shirt...

ShadowXOR says:
12/27/2007 14:33

I was referring to the Princess Peach one...I obviously didn't make that clear.

DangerousD says:
12/29/2007 19:33

This is pretty freaking old. I thought this wouldbe like Ebay.

Kryptinite says:
01/05/2008 13:22

We need some new shirts :).

I don't know if I can get away with wearing that princess shirt at work.

Detry says:
01/11/2008 06:01

Ordered me a Princess shirt.

@DangerousD
Not everyone can be like ur mom.

Snaileb says:
02/01/2008 09:52

I just bought the Dtoid Beanie and the Princess T. Then I get the rampage shirt.