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Breasts are awesome: uncut Need for Speed: ProStreet promo proves as much photo

Normally I'm really highbrow. I wear a smoking jacket at entirely inappropriate times, fill my pipe with the shredded remains of a Jane Eyre first edition and often refer to cars as "horseless cars." However, neither that trademark pretension nor my inability to read Polish could tarnish my glee after receiving this link from Polish site Polygamia collecting the vaguely infamous nudie pics EA has been using to promote Need for Speed: ProStreet, the Old Man and the Sea of peeling out and assuming all Asian people hang tiny dragons from their rearview mirrors.

See, that link contains two of my favorite things in the history of mankind: the female body unsullied by age, child birth, meth addiction, animal attacks or nuclear fallout and laughably sexist renditions of the old adage "sex sells."

Surely, placing fantastic breasts in front of phallic motor vehicles is as close to actually having a woman insert the NFS:PS disc into her vagina as you can get without actively upsetting the then-marginalized female denizens of the 'net, and to EA's credit, the target audience for a game like this is exactly the sort who wouldn't be bothered by things like sexism, or the fact that Susan B. Anthony's zombified corpse is a ravenous beast hungering only for brains and the male genitalia they happen to be encased within.

All that aside though, even the most bra-burningly active activist can't deny the beauty found in nekkid ladies. Girls are pretty. Pretty girls especially so. With that in mind, let's all forget about the underlying social issues present in this piece and instead just marvel at the grace of the female form.

It's what John Wayne would do. 

(Also, I should have mentioned that that link isn't work-safe a while ago, but if any of you actually get fired for glorifying beauty, your boss never loved you in the first place.) 


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38 comments | showing # 1 to 38

JACK of No Trades's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:28
JACK of No Trades
Need for Speed what?
Barcode's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:29
Barcode
I find it really funny for that the girls have nothing to do with racing itself.

I guess it's more of a tatic to lure sex crazed teenage guys into buying the game.
lubczyk's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:32
lubczyk
Prostreet sucks so much they have to go trashy porno in order to sell it. If you're a 360 or PS3 owner, hell even a PS2 owner there's no reason for you to own this terrible game. This game will probably sell like hotcakes on the Wii because the only decent racing game on the system is Excite Truck. AS Holllywood has proven time and time again: shit sells as long as it's pretty shit.
B-Radicate's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:39
B-Radicate
I stopped caring about NFS after the first Underground.

I get my racing fix from Burnout (for the crashes) and Midnight Club (for the customization). Then again, I rarely have a racing desire to fulfill, so it's even more rare that I fix it with anything, haha.

What can I say, I'm an action gamer, not a racing one. Oh well.
Mister Disco's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:41
Mister Disco
Need for Speed is fail.

Boobs, however, are always win. Thanks for the "heads up". :P
KamikazeTutor's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:54
KamikazeTutor
"Need For Sex"

lol
timtheterrible's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:55
timtheterrible
I like that they are taking this approach.
Upgrayedd's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:59
Upgrayedd
Wait, did you just say that Susan B. Anthony's zombified corpse loves the cock?
Jerkbutt47's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 11:59
Jerkbutt47
I love the polish...
MaxVest's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:01
MaxVest
Damn straight, sex sells. After seeing those pictures, I bought a Ferrari F430.
13thDragon's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:12
13thDragon
Best. Game Ad. Ever.
Mxyzptlk's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:17
Mxyzptlk
I wasn't planning on buying this game, but dude... tits.
amalgamut00's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:24
amalgamut00
did anybody buy this game?
Mabec's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:29
Mabec
Need for Speed PROstitutes
BlackDove's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:30
BlackDove
Nice tits.

Too bad the game is a joke. It's like money down the toilet for the developer.
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:30
Oni
Man, I love Page3. It makes my chewy center all warm and melty.
Trowble's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:32
Trowble
I was sold at breasts.
jerrt's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:35
jerrt
i've got no complaints about the ads, but it doesn't get me interested in the game.
JonDarkwood's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:43
JonDarkwood
This is as much of a put-off as Ubi using Jade Raymond for every interview to sell Assassin's Creed.
mikeohara's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 12:47
mikeohara
the use of tits to promote a game that's heavily defined as nothing short of very shitty is still good promotion, me thinks.
big filth's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 13:03
big filth
wow! great marketing approach! Maybe Assassins Creed will go this route with Ms. Raymond for the sequel! Take notes Ubisoft! But seriously, these sluts are hot!

on another note.

Matriarch Benezia = BITCH!

http://www.thegreatgamer.wordpress.com
Fuzzy's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 13:14
Fuzzy
I fully support this type of ad campaign for every game that is marketed to me. Will I buy more shitty games because of this? No. But I will see more tits. And that, my friends, is always a good thing.
Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 13:36
Oni
Fuzzy's got the right idea.
John Martone's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 14:04
John Martone
Did you mean "horseless carriages?" That is to say, referring to cars as "horseless cars" sounds a bit silly to me. Might be a meme I don't know of.
brad drac's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 14:11
brad drac
Pff, if you were really highbrow, you wouldn't have used the word car twice in the same sentence. Such a horrid linguistic faux pas!
brad drac's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 14:22
brad drac
Don't be ridiculous. Zeppelins don't use birds.
brad drac's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 14:43
brad drac
Well I'm sorry if you didn't catch the inherent irony in my comments. They were actually uproariously funny, it's not my fault the rest of the world is too foppishly feeble minded to grasp the subtle intricacies of my gloriously resplendent humour.
Turtule Soup's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 15:17
Turtule Soup
Purchases game lol jk
monosylabik's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 15:24
monosylabik
o those polish...why no halo 3 noods?
Azereki's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 16:24
Azereki
EA are gods!
Elrando's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 19:04
Elrando
Boobs are awesome, NFS series however is a boring shitfest.
Having something awesome like boobs, next to something shitty like NFS only serves to emphasize how awesome boobs are and how shitty NFS is.
Your plan has failed EA, badly.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/26/2007 22:42
Sharpless
Nex, the "horseless cars" line gave me a much-needed laugh. Two people in this thread need to update their senses of humor. :)
Fading Star's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/27/2007 01:03
Fading Star
@Elrando
They could have taken a screenshot from Superman 64, place the NFS logo in it, and make the tagline say "Hey, it could be worse." instead of this. Oh well.
brad drac's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/27/2007 05:55
brad drac
->Sharpless: I think you missed the point of my comments(if it was me you were talking about). What you saw there was a fairly deftly executed troll based on the premise of nex's fondness for irony and his self assured superiority. We cool de la.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/27/2007 08:39
Sharpless
Nah, I wasn't really paying much attention to who said what. You'll find that I halfass most of my comments by just pretending to know what I'm talking about. You're in the clear.
Rigor Mortis's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/27/2007 09:31
Rigor Mortis
NFS has been going downhill since Porsche Unleashed and Underground 2. I hope ProStreet crashes and burns.
Scrixx's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/27/2007 16:17
Scrixx
EA doing something right? :o!
luvmysegadc's Avatar - Comment posted on 11/27/2007 23:47
luvmysegadc
I must have some serious jet lag! Instead of hearing the voices of those two lovely ladies speak in the video, all I could hear were the character voice from the award winning animated short "Creature Comforts". They sound like the polar bears from the short film.

http://www.atomfilms.com/film/creature_comforts.jsp

Of course if you're looking for some hot rabbids action, click here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMCixSI-pGA&feature=related
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